yospos lgbtqia+ thread: gender is a fsck

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aardvaard: Mar 4, 2013; you belong in the bog of eternal stench

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 05:05

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# ? May 19, 2024 18:23

atelier morgan: Mar 11, 2003; super-scientific, ultra-gay; Lipstick Apathy

CommunistPancake posted:

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

i went to a therapist and once a professional took my worries seriously i went from 'being afraid i was being silly or avoiding responsibility' to extremely certain and looking for resources to get started on HRT pretty much immediately

# ? Jun 11, 2018 05:12

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

CommunistPancake posted:

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

Getting help, like this, is a great first step. My advice is the same as above, see a therapist about it.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 05:27

Lain Iwakura: Aug 5, 2004; The body exists only to verify one's own existence.; Taco Defender

CommunistPancake posted:

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

don't hesitate and start looking at resources

whatever part you are in within your life it is good as time as any

i knew at 24 but didn't bother to do anything until i was 32. i'll be 34 this year

feel free to DM me any questions <3

# ? Jun 11, 2018 05:30

Tatrakrad: May 14, 2007; I cited my sources and all he said was, "owned owned owned owned owned"

Lain Iwakura posted:

don't hesitate and start looking at resources

whatever part you are in within your life it is good as time as any

i knew at 24 but didn't bother to do anything until i was 32. i'll be 34 this year

feel free to DM me any questions <3

Therapist really helped me. Make sure they know something about gender issues for real though, I had one lie about it and that was awkward.

Also figuring it out as a teenager and then waiting until you're pushing 30 to transition because 'not meeting absurd criteria' is hecka lame

# ? Jun 11, 2018 05:52

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Tatrakrad posted:

Therapist really helped me. Make sure they know something about gender issues for real though, I had one lie about it and that was awkward.

Also figuring it out as a teenager and then waiting until you're pushing 30 to transition because 'not meeting absurd criteria' is hecka lame

oh my gods yeah. The worst are people who think because you're trans, you have to be either super masculine or super feminine.

That's not the point, dipshit.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 06:05

Lain Iwakura: Aug 5, 2004; The body exists only to verify one's own existence.; Taco Defender

Tatrakrad posted:

Also figuring it out as a teenager and then waiting until you're pushing 30 to transition because 'not meeting absurd criteria' is hecka lame

I've written about it in detail elsewhere. I should have done it in 2009.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 06:14

Tatrakrad: May 14, 2007; I cited my sources and all he said was, "owned owned owned owned owned"

Now I'm just lovely and bitter reading posts by people who transitioned 5 years ago who only figured it out in their mid 20s and therefore missed the 90s/early 2000s gatekeeping

# ? Jun 11, 2018 06:16

Progressive JPEG: Feb 19, 2003

p annoyed that arrl field day is the same weekend as pride

again

# ? Jun 11, 2018 06:27

OldAlias: Nov 2, 2013

CommunistPancake posted:

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

all mentioned, but also don't concern yourself with regret, either over lost time or the possibility of future regret. a study I read had something like, only ~1% of people who transitioned thought it was the wrong decision. you're not wrong about what you feel, cis people generally don't feel poo poo like dysphoria or question so much. seek out professionals and people in the community to talk to

# ? Jun 11, 2018 08:11

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Arrl doesn't sound like the most queer friendly place, but that could have changed in recent years?

# ? Jun 11, 2018 08:11

atomicthumbs: Dec 26, 2010; We're in the business of extending man's senses.

Progressive JPEG posted:

p annoyed that arrl field day is the same weekend as pride

again

activate pride
POTA

# ? Jun 11, 2018 08:14

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Those antenna masts would be a great place for some flags.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 08:21

EMILY BLUNTS: Jan 1, 2005

CommunistPancake posted:

signs that i might be trans are becoming hard to ignore. what do i do now.

Prepare for endless jokes about striped socks, water bottles, roller derby, witchcraft, pickles, and programming

e: also communism but looks like you�ve got that covered!

EMILY BLUNTS fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Jun 11, 2018

# ? Jun 11, 2018 19:36

Casual Encountess: Dec 14, 2005; "You can see how they go from being so sweet to tearing your face off,
just like that,
and it's amazing to have that range."

Thunderdome Exclusive

it�s always really jarring on boston pride weekend for me pedicabbing pride and then having to go deep into hetero territory to work a sox game. i dress up for pride and i enjoy terrorizing the straights at fenway but it�s such a disconnect going from a joyful place where i�m celebrated to a sea of stares and uncomfortableness.

that�s my job though. i did have some wonderful queer customers so that was nice

# ? Jun 11, 2018 20:31

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

pickles

# ? Jun 11, 2018 21:15

atelier morgan: Mar 11, 2003; super-scientific, ultra-gay; Lipstick Apathy

Peeny Cheez posted:

?

tasty salt-delivery mechanism to replace salt lost b/c of spiro

# ? Jun 11, 2018 21:59

Poniard: Apr 3, 2011

I, too, have encountered the pickles joke

I think I'm supposed to be some shapeless and formless being that appears at will though

How do I become existencequeer

# ? Jun 11, 2018 22:02

Progressive JPEG: Feb 19, 2003

Poniard posted:

I, too, have encountered the pickles joke

I think I'm supposed to be some shapeless and formless being that appears at will though

How do I become existencequeer

i hear schrodinger often has openings for a new pet

# ? Jun 11, 2018 22:10

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

This is somehow my first exposure to the pickles joke.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 22:33

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

iospace posted:

oh my gods yeah. The worst are people who think because you're trans, you have to be either super masculine or super feminine.

That's not the point, dipshit.

someone joined a place i run and casually said garbage like people who haven't been officially diagnosed w/ it are "appropriating" it, like "you can't just claim you're diabetic". lots of non-binary erasure, too

they were quickly ejected. don't have time for that bullshit

OldAlias posted:

all mentioned, but also don't concern yourself with regret, either over lost time or the possibility of future regret. a study I read had something like, only ~1% of people who transitioned thought it was the wrong decision. you're not wrong about what you feel, cis people generally don't feel poo poo like dysphoria or question so much. seek out professionals and people in the community to talk to

this is a good thing to remember but if you're already in that pit it's really hard to get out of (case in point: myself). doubt is a real piece of poo poo, i tell you what.

a good thing to keep in mind is that being trans doesn't necessarily require that you transition. you're still valid

# ? Jun 11, 2018 23:06

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

The one trans person I'm most familiar with *cough* is the definition of a tomboy.

# ? Jun 11, 2018 23:14

aardvaard: Mar 4, 2013; you belong in the bog of eternal stench

thanks for all the advice. anything i can do about finding a decent therapist for this sort of thing in my area, other than just going to a whole bunch until i find a good one?

# ? Jun 12, 2018 05:27

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Look for queer community healthcare resources. Non-lgbt catering therapists might be a bit out of their depth and not very helpful, as I found out.

# ? Jun 12, 2018 05:59

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

general things to look for when picking a therapist:

- make sure they have an actual degree in psychology. at least in the US, pretty much anyone can call themselves a "counselor" or "therapist". preferably find someone with a phd in some form of psychology or at least a masters, bachelors is probably not quite good enough
- look for one that explicitly advertises working with trans patients and/or gender dysphoria if you can. while someone who just says lgbt-friendly is probably fine in my experience at least once this meant "i've treated gay patients and transpeople are just more of that"
- if you can't find one based on this, go to a local LGBT resource center and ask there, they generally have recommendations or referrals
- do not go to a psychiatrist before seeing a psychologist. a psychiatrist is a medical doctor, and they're great for actually getting prescriptions or checking bloodwork, but they tend to be absolute garbage at therapy. i've found the best way to work with them is to get your psychologist to figure out what's up, then take whatever they said to the psychiatrist to get prescriptions.

e: i just realized you probably wouldn't need to see a psychiatrist at all (though a psychologist definitely) since trans drugs tend to be handled by endocrinologists, sorry i'm used to describing this in the context of "i have clinical depression and need brain drugs"

Shame Boy fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Jun 12, 2018

# ? Jun 12, 2018 06:52

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

tbf I dont know any other trans people who arent on anti-depressants or other issue management drugs. Correlation is high.

# ? Jun 12, 2018 07:05

evilcat: May 16, 2009

CommunistPancake posted:

thanks for all the advice. anything i can do about finding a decent therapist for this sort of thing in my area, other than just going to a whole bunch until i find a good one?

Easiest method from what I've heard is to find some lgbt organization in your area and either contact them through the site they probably have or wander in and ask for some contact info for someone.
They usually are primarily volunteer staff and either professionals putting out some volunteer hours or people in training who specifically want to work that field. Depending on your situation as to if this is beneficial or not, but a lot of them also have the billing method of "pay what you can". They will also know about other things going on, like any group therapy sessions or things like an art show that the organization is putting on to give people a creative outlet.
A friend of mine sees someone she found via a trans specific clinic that is run out of her local college (that does not require people to be a student to access).
If you aren't happy with anyone locally there are some who work remotely online but last I remember they weren't exactly cheap and I have no names to give currently that I know are still doing so. Most of the people I know or who are in the community I head up went for diy or informed consent so I am really not up to speed on the various therapist options.

# ? Jun 12, 2018 08:21