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WebDog posted:Angry Bee Dance? That could have been it, too. I don't remember the name of the OP. I wish I could find that thread again. Edit: I found the Angry Bee Dance thread, but there is no meltdown, so I guess that's not it. Here is the thread if anybody is interested: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3061239&userid=145252 Skunkduster has a new favorite as of 18:58 on Jun 22, 2018 |
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Jun 22, 2018 18:45
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Quick aside, but can people who are whatever intolerant absorb nutrition from the foods they cannot tolerate?
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Jun 22, 2018 18:53
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Volcott posted:Quick aside, but can people who are whatever intolerant absorb nutrition from the foods they cannot tolerate? For lactose-intolerant, it's just the lactose itself that your body can't process, so it gets rid of it quickly via gas and runny poo. Everything else is fine. Like, you can drink lactose free dairy or just take a Lactaid, dumbasses. I am lactose-intolerant and I love cheese and milk and ice cream and I carry a strip of Lactaids around with me in my purse. Problem solved. I think I'm going to have cheese and crackers for lunch today.
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Jun 22, 2018 19:12
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:And this reminds me of the lactose-intolerant goon who refused to stop eating cheese even though his noxious farts were causing his co-workers to need gas masks: Yeah, didn't he get all "Well, if I'm lactose intolerant, can I get an ADA accommodation to keep eating cheese?"
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Jun 22, 2018 19:32
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I thought Lactose was more, your body cannot digest it, but the bacteria in your guts can, and will due to loving the stuff ending up with increased gas from their metabolisms.
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Jun 22, 2018 20:49
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The Toilet/Shower Curtain story made me laugh, so I'll allow it. Also an irrelevant but neat thing about bovine Milk - it contains a compound called Casein that bonds with Capsacin, not just neutralising it but helping drag it off the tongue which is why it's good for spicy foods.
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Jun 22, 2018 21:21
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ChaseSP posted:I thought Lactose was more, your body cannot digest it, but the bacteria in your guts can, and will due to loving the stuff ending up with increased gas from their metabolisms. That's probably true. Don't quote me any facts about Lactose. It took me until I was 25 to associate "I have painful urgent diarrhea" with "I drank chocolate milk or a milkshake in the last half hour". That's even after a number of emergency stops at whatever restaurant or gas station happens to be closest. Edit: it was some poo poo that happened.
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Jun 22, 2018 22:41
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Aleph Null posted:That's probably true. Don't quote me any facts about Lactose. It took me until I was 25 to associate "I have painful urgent diarrhea" with "I drank chocolate milk or a milkshake in the last half hour". That's even after a number of emergency stops at whatever restaurant or gas station happens to be closest. I looked it up and yes, that's correct. Your body doesn't do a single thing to the lactose, but your gut bacteria sure does!
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Jun 22, 2018 23:11
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SkunkDuster posted:That could have been it, too. I don't remember the name of the OP. I wish I could find that thread again. Angry Bee Dance was definitely the hotel security guard,but not the bedspring dildo guy as I recall. Dildo MacGyver was in a broader crazy hotel stories thread.
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Jun 23, 2018 07:16
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Wasn't there also one hotel story where someone left a huge barrel of piss or something in the room and checked out? Not sure it was STDH though, having worked at a hotel I know a lot of disgusting stuff takes place.
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Jun 23, 2018 10:38
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sinburger posted:Dildo MacGyver user_names_that_should_happen.txt
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Jun 23, 2018 13:10
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Was that JoeyVapes?
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Jun 23, 2018 14:40
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walrusman posted:Was that JoeyVapes? Yeah, it was.
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Jun 23, 2018 19:41
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https://twitter.com/CitizenWBailey/status/1010334174446747649
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Jun 25, 2018 03:44
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No real 'murica-loving MAGA chud would ever refer to the national anthem as "that loving song".
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Jun 25, 2018 17:10
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Jun 26, 2018 11:28
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I think he means to say that his ex (who did cheat) retired young and travels while he lives alone with a neurotic dog.
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Jun 26, 2018 13:01
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That poor poor fictional dog
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Jun 26, 2018 13:20
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Not really a proper migtow if you're still having sex and love with 
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Jun 26, 2018 13:23
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Every time one of these stories crosses my screen, I have to figure out what MGTOW stands for, and get to feel a fresh wave of revulsion.
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Jun 26, 2018 13:27
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:Not really a proper migtow if you're still having sex and love with I assumed that he is bi and now having sex with men. Or possibly had been gay the whole time, so better for both of them that they split up.
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Jun 26, 2018 13:40
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:Not really a proper migtow if you're still having sex and love with I think drunken hookups and paying sex workers are OK for MGTOW, but not for incels. One of those doctrinal disputes like transsubstantiation.
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Jun 26, 2018 14:52
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Nth Doctor posted:Every time one of these stories crosses my screen, I have to figure out what MGTOW stands for, and get to feel a fresh wave of revulsion. I always get that Fleetwood Mac song stuck my head. You can go your own wayyyyy
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Jun 26, 2018 15:12
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It's been years and I still read it first as MTGOX, that old bitcoin exchange that imploded
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Jun 26, 2018 15:24
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Magic Gathering, The, Of the coast, Wizards
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Jun 26, 2018 15:44
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MGTOW is men going their own way, so in theory they are supposed to completely cut themselves off from women.
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Jun 26, 2018 17:29
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kimbo305 posted:Magic Gathering, The, Of the coast, Wizards This is how i've been reading it for years, amd every post about incels still made sense.
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Jun 26, 2018 18:59
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https://twitter.com/beckpoppins/status/1011390703069483009?s=09 What does this even mean? Why are women in dresses busier than women in pants?
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Jun 26, 2018 19:11
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The pregnant wife is an unreliable narrator
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Jun 26, 2018 19:47
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kimbo305 posted:Magic Gathering, The, Of the coast, Wizards This is what it always reminds me of
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Jun 26, 2018 19:53
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men gathering their own waste
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Jun 26, 2018 20:35
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Mastodon Compound posted:This is how i've been reading it for years, amd every post about incels still made sense. Bitcoiners and incels both spend way too much on graphic cards.
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Jun 27, 2018 01:03
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TheManWithNoName posted:men gathering their own waste Gather? Gathering is for females, I'm a hunter  *tiptoes through six-inch-wide path of cleared floor to get from computer to fridge, accidentally kicks over bottle of piss*
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Jun 27, 2018 03:45
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Comptroll The Forums posted:Gather? Gathering is for females, I'm a hunter You’ve forgotten that Jordan Peterson told them to clean their rooms.
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Jun 27, 2018 05:05
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Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your loving life. So, I posted almost a month ago about one experience with my mother and how i got petty revenge on her as a kid. I was initially going to post this story but I didnt want to seem like a SUPER terrible person but after the response to the last post, I'll post the whole story which is still somewhat ongoing. So I apologize the backstory is a pretty long but its necessary to understand why I did what I did. TL;DR at the bottom BACKSTORY: My mother was a really lovely person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her agression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways... Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being lovely: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there werent dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my rear end beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really lovely things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped. She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working lovely jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of lovely habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the gently caress she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times. I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldnt make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made alot of lovely choices due to my lovely habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then... She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled alot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own drat fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO loving LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME. There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom. The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it. So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out. Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her lipton. TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships. . Edit: poo poo, i wasn't expecting this much attention. I'll try to individually reply to everyone because I hate ignoring people but it's gonna take a while so here are just a few general things i felt i should add.. 1) I am psychologically not in the position to take care of my younger siblings or take on a parental role. I came very close to suicide 2 years ago and im just trying to work on my alcohol problem and other habits that keep me in a cycle of instability. No I havent been to any programs or therapy, I don't think it will help me in regards to my nearly constant apathy and etc. 2) My 2 youngest siblings werent really bothered much. It was mostly my little sister after I left who got beatings but luckily it wasnt anything near the level I had to deal with. 3) Im also incapable of taking custody because I don't have an apartment anymore due to bad decisions I made while drinking recently. So I'm back to homeless but I crash with a friend once in a awhile. I am very well aware I am an influence on my younger siblings and I'm trying to stay consistent with doing everything I can to be a better and more stable person for them so that maybe I can finally build a real relationship with someone in my family. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps wishing me more success. 4) Aside from my little siblings, I have zero contact with anyone else in my family. And even then, its been very rare because I had to avoid my mother to see them and didnt want her knowing i kept in contact (Meeting my little sister after school, facetime, etc). The rest of my family were well aware of what she did and distanced themselves. I don't plan on reaching out to them as im not good at maintaining relationships with mostly anyone anyways. Edit 2: My first gold ever. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story and gild me. I'm sorry for making this even longer than it already is. I'm sorry to anyone I made feel sad after reading this, that wasn't my intention. To all the people who had to deal with something similar, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I wish I could help but I don't know how I can. / To all the people who disagree with my actions, I'm sorry that I acted in a way you didn't like. I just wanted to share my story. / Also for those concerned, my 3 siblings are currently being housed together and I made it very clear I will do anything to make sure they aren't separated but I know that anything can happen. I stay in constant contact and they are all doing well. / Lastly, I have read the hundreds of comments for me to look into therapy and AA. As well as people hinting that I may be depressed. I dont really know what my next step is in regards to that. I dont like to think about my feelings too much but I do know I need to stop drinking. It doesn't help at all.
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Jun 28, 2018 05:28
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Theres no way I'm reading all that. The TL;DR and edits are just as long as the original story. Fuuuuck that.
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Jun 28, 2018 05:42
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Cue me kicking you in the goddamn rear end if you don't stop talking in faux stage directions. Exuent
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Jun 28, 2018 06:40
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I want to know what the "profitable hobby" is.
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Jun 28, 2018 14:08
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Stroop There It Is posted:I want to know what the "profitable hobby" is. Drawing furry porn?
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Jun 28, 2018 14:11
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chitoryu12 posted:Drawing furry porn? I mean, I assumed.
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