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Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
I have been told that everything's better down where it's wetter.

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Adamant
Jan 30, 2013

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

being eaten by a shark or something.

I have this vague memory that this is precisely what happens, but my memory of this book has turned out to be a lot worse than I thought, so I'm not going to trust it too much.

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

You decide to stay in the water.

Why not? you think. Maybe you’ll be miraculously saved by some unseen force...

Yeah, right.

Maybe a whole bunch of paratroopers will drop out of the sky and land on the beach, bringing you knapsacks full of potato salad, fried chicken, peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches, and candy bars.

In your dreams!

Somehow that’s not quite what happens.

Instead, you simply burn to a crisp in the hot sun. The water you’re splashing in acts like a giant mirror, reflecting the sun’s intense light and heat back onto you.

Not a pretty sight, is it?

Of course not. In fact, you’d better close the book before things get really ugly.

Go on, close the book. This story’s over.

Quick! Before the buzzards start circling...

THE END

By the way, the island marks the final section of this story path. If you want to check out any of the other wishes, you may want to do it before exploring too deeply into the jungle.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
:siren:Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.:siren:

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

Our options posted:

  • Wish to be a celebrity.
  • Wish to be good-looking.
  • Go to the sporting goods store.
  • Make James open all the cola cans while we watch TV.
  • Wish we never met Toobah.
  • Look for a place to hide.
  • Explore the jungle.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Wouldn't you notice and get out of the water before that became fatal? :psyduck:

Let's become a celebrity , I guess!

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Jun 26, 2018

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
let's wish to be good-looking

Adamant
Jan 30, 2013

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Wouldn't you notice and get out of the water before that became fatal? :psyduck:

I dunno, this seems pretty par for course as far as our protagonist's established intelligence goes.

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



Tied between wishing to be a celebrity and wishing to be good looking. Next vote takes it.

Also, sorry for skipping yesterday. I was busy with a family emergency, but it seems to be dealt with for now.

FriskyBoat
Apr 23, 2011

Leraika posted:

let's wish to be good-looking

PumpkinBat
Oct 22, 2012

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Wouldn't you notice and get out of the water before that became fatal? :psyduck:

According to a diving manual I read, that's actually a real risk, especially in tropical areas! Swimmers can get severe sunburns because the water can mask it. In rare cases you can even get heatstroke if the water's warm enough.

Let us increase our beauty!

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

You think hard, not wanting to make a choice too quickly.

Finally you decide. You’ve always wanted to be really good-looking. So cute that people would stop and stare at you.

“I wish to be good-looking,” you tell the genie. “I want to be so stunning that people’s mouths hang open when they see me.”

Jenna giggles. “Yup!” she says, jumping up from the chair. “That’s an easy one. I get it all the time.”

That makes sense to you. You imagine a lot of people would want to be good-looking.

“Okay!” Jenna pops her gum. “Hold on to your socks, kiddo. Here goes!”

quote:

WHOOOOSH!

White smoke fills the room. It smothers you – but only for a second. Then it clears as quickly as it came.

You can’t wait to look in the mirror!

Except that you can’t move! Not an inch! Something’s holding you in place! As if you’re frozen in ice!

A horrible tight feeling of fear grips your throat, closing it so tight, you can’t even swallow.

What’s happening? You try to speak, to scream for help, but you can’t open your mouth.

Oh, no! You’re paralyzed!

What did the genie do?

quote:

You stare straight ahead, unable to move. You can’t even blink.

You try to figure out where you are. The wall across from you is covered with paintings. But there’s no furniture in the room. Nothing but a low bench.

Weird, you think. It looks like a museum!

“Ah!” a woman standing in front of you gasps. “Look at the shadows on the hair. So beautiful!”

People stop to stare at you, all right. And their mouths hang open when they see you. Just as you asked for in your wish.

Then the awful truth dawns on you. Your wish has come true – but not at all in the way you had hoped!

You are beautiful, all right. Jenna has turned you into a beautiful painting! A painting so beautiful it hangs in a museum!

But that’s not what I meant! your mind screams.

But there’s no way to wish yourself out of this mess. You can’t exactly open a cola can and let out a genie if you’re frozen inside a painting. Or say the special wish-making words.

“Look at that painting!” a man in front of you whispers to his friend. “Isn’t it beautiful? And so lifelike.”

Being beautiful may not be all it’s cracked up to be. Guess you’re really hung up on your looks.

THE END

You know, I think this may actually be the first Give Yourself Goosebumps book where you can die on the first choice. Trapped in Bat Wing Hall was close, though - if memory serves, it gave us one of those fake "but thou must" choices before giving us the chance to fail the next one.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
:siren:Transformed into a beautiful painting.:siren:

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

Our options posted:

  • Wish to be a celebrity.
  • Go to the sporting goods store.
  • Make James open all the cola cans while we watch TV.
  • Wish we never met Toobah.
  • Look for a place to hide.
  • Explore the jungle.

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
I can't wait to be a useless piece of poo poo and have James open all these cola cans

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
I wonder how many paintings were the result of Jenna granting this wish.

Leraika posted:

I can't wait to be a useless piece of poo poo and have James open all these cola cans

Yeah, sure, let's give James his good ending. He's too professional to have to deal with someone like this.

PumpkinBat
Oct 22, 2012

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Yeah, sure, let's give James his good ending. He's too professional to have to deal with someone like this.

Let James open the cans, I'm too busy being rich

I should have probably seen that ending coming, I think there was another R.L. Stine book that had a girl end up being a sculpture because she wished to be "the most beautiful thing". Might have been a Fear Street book.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
That sounds like the ending of an episode of the TV series. This girl got access to some wishes and used them like the MC here, only to wind up wishing her school bully got the wishes instead.

In the book, her bully turns her into a bird and she flies away, which felt pretty depressing of an ending. In the TV show, the bully makes a wish to be good looking or something and becomes a statue.

Adamant
Jan 30, 2013

This section is one of the very few sections in the entire series that actually feels like it was written with the idea that the protagonist is female in mind. These books are supposed to be written with the idea that the protagonist is supposed to be you, and be the same gender as you, but Stine and his ghost writers do such a bad job at it he always comes across as really blatantly male.

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013

To the Jungle!!

rudecyrus
Nov 6, 2009

fuck you trolls
Open those cans, James

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

You decide to let James do all the work. He can open the cola cans for you. Why not? What else are servants for?

“Uh, James.” You’re not sure how to explain. “This is going to sound crazy, but...”

You take a deep breath and tell him all about the genie. About how she made you rich, but now she’s locked inside a cola can and you don’t know which one.

“So could you open all the cola cans for me, James, until you find her? Just pour out the ones that are really cola – we can always buy more. When you find her, let me know,” you instruct him.

“Of course,” James replies, although he looks at you as if you’re crazy. “But don’t try sneaking away again. I’m keeping an eye on you, remember?”

James disappears into the pantry, and you settle down in the family room with your favorite afternoon TV show. The screen is so big, it’s like watching a movie!

Two hours later you wonder – what’s taking James so long?

Did something go wrong?

quote:

You head for the pantry to check on James’s progress. He should’ve found the genie by now!

As you cross through the family room, smoke begins pouring out of the pantry. But not smoke from a fire. Jenna’s smoke!

Great! you think. That must mean James found the can with the genie in it...

The smoky cloud grows bigger and bigger. You can’t see. A whooshing sound fills your ears. You can’t help coughing.

And then you realize something – this isn’t Jenna’s smoke. This is the cloud that appears when she grants a wish!

That’s strange, you think. Why is the cloud here? I didn’t make a wish.

As the smoke fades away, you discover that the family room has changed. All the video games and the huge-screen TV are gone. Instead, the walls are lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves – filled with old books!

You gaze around. You don’t understand.

What happened?

quote:

You try to figure out what just happened. Your eyes search the family room for clues. You spot James. He must have snuck out of the pantry in the smoke. He’s lounging in a big leather chair, wearing a velvet robe and reading the newspaper.

He snaps his fingers. “You there,” he calls. “Bring me a glass of iced tea.”

What’s going on here? you wonder. Then you glance down at your clothes. You aren’t wearing jeans anymore.

You’re wearing black pants, a white jacket, and white gloves. There’s a silver tray in your hand.

The truth hits you quickly, like a kick in the stomach.

James finally found the right can of cola, and Jenna popped out. Then he must have made his own wish and switched places with you! You’re his servant now.

“Oh,” James adds. “Don’t get any ideas about hunting around for that cola can with the delightful young lady inside. I’ve hidden it nicely.” He laughs. A not-very-nice laugh.

Oh, well, you think, as you trudge to the kitchen. You have to serve James because you were too lazy to open all those cola cans yourself. Looks as if it serves you right!

THE END

Yeah, that went pretty much how we all thought it would. On the bright side, entry-level pay for a butler is apparently around $46,000 a year, so this bad ending still works out relatively well for us.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
Transformed into a beautiful painting.
:siren:Swapped places with our butler after he got his hands on Jenna's can.:siren:

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

Our options posted:

  • Wish to be a celebrity.
  • Go to the sporting goods store.
  • Wish we never met Toobah.
  • Look for a place to hide.
  • Explore the jungle.

CuddlyZombie
Nov 6, 2005

I wuv your brains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4xMBbgwIn0

PlasticAutomaton
Nov 12, 2016

Artoria Pendonut


Let's just explore the jungle and get this terrible book over with.

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

You’re still shaking with fear. But you decide you’ve got to face whatever’s in that jungle if you’re going to have any hope of finding the cola can.

Slowly you walk toward the trees. The hair on the back of your neck stands up.

Dark, dense vines hang down, casting strange shadows. You push the vines back, and enter the jungle of palm trees, bushes, and tropical flowers.

The scent of the jungle is sweet. A warm flowery smell fills the air. Small prickly bushes scratch your legs. Sunlight streams through the trees every so often, in bold beams.

You glance down, searching the ground for the cola can.

“AWWWWK!”

You jump when you hear the sharp cry. It’s followed by a rapid flapping sound.

Your head snaps up. Out of the corner of your eye, you see something moving. A screeching winged creature – heading right for your face!

quote:

Your hands fly up to your face to protect it.

“AWWWRKKK!” the bird screams again.

Sharp claws dig into your skin as it lands on your shoulder!

“Aaaahhhhhhh!” you shriek, more in shock than in pain.

You turn your head slightly and peek out from behind your hands.

It’s a parrot! You’ve got a great big parrot perched on your shoulder!

“Follow me,” the parrot squawks. Then it reaches up with one clawed foot and pulls at your hair. “Follow me!” it screams.

Well?

Are you going to follow the parrot? If so, turn to PAGE 30.

If not, turn to PAGE 47


Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
Transformed into a beautiful painting.
Swapped places with our butler after he got his hands on Jenna's can.

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

Our options posted:

  • Wish to be a celebrity.
  • Go to the sporting goods store.
  • Wish we never met Toobah.
  • Look for a place to hide.
  • Follow the parrot.
  • Don't follow the parrot.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!

Rebonack7 posted:

On the bright side, entry-level pay for a butler is apparently around $46,000 a year, so this bad ending still works out relatively well for us.

Yeah, I was about to say.

Let's trust the bird.

rudecyrus
Nov 6, 2009

fuck you trolls
As the owner of a bird, I can safely say we should not trust it.

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013

Squawk! Follow Polly! Squawk!

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus
Do Not Trust The Bird

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

Do not trust this bird.

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

You decide not to follow the parrot.

Wait a minute. Are you NUTS?

A genie in a cola can sends you to a deserted island. You don’t have a prayer of ever getting home. Then, out of nowhere, a parrot lands on your shoulder and says, “Follow me.”

And you’re not going to follow the parrot?

Do you really think that’s the best choice?

Tell the truth – how many of these GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS books have you read? Is this your first one?

If it is, you’re excused. You obviously don’t know how these things work, so we’ll give you a break. Go back to the bottom of PAGE 28 and choose again.

But if you’ve ever read a GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS book before this one – you should know better!

That parrot was obviously some sort of super-smart bird. Or maybe the genie in disguise. Or an escapee from a Florida theme park. Or maybe it worked for a secret government agency.

One way or another, that parrot was going to help you. You should’ve known that!

You also should have known that when you make a silly choice, you wind up on a page that has two words at the bottom:

THE END

On the one hand, the book does kind of have a point about the parrot being the only lead we have at this point. On the other hand, Give Yourself Goosebumps is not exactly a series know for logic and consistency. It honestly wouldn't be out of the ordinary for the parrot to turn out to be a magical kamikaze construct that explodes when spoken to, or a carefully-disguised conman trying to sell us a timeshare on Genie Deathtrap Island, or the earthly avatar of an Elder God on the verge of escaping its prison.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
Transformed into a beautiful painting.
Swapped places with our butler after he got his hands on Jenna's can.
:siren:Shamed out of the book for not following the obvious plot hook.:siren:

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

Our options posted:

  • Wish to be a celebrity.
  • Go to the sporting goods store.
  • Wish we never met Toobah.
  • Look for a place to hide.
  • Follow the parrot.

Gloomy Rube
Mar 4, 2008



Let's be a celebrity!!

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
:allears:

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Let's trust the bird.

rudecyrus
Nov 6, 2009

fuck you trolls
I wanna be a celebrity

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

Follow that bird!

PlasticAutomaton
Nov 12, 2016

Artoria Pendonut


Let's go ask the bird to testify in open court.

PumpkinBat
Oct 22, 2012
All child actors turn out fine.

Let's be the new talk of the town.

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



Assuming PlasticAutomaton's Phoenix Wright reference is also supposed to be a vote for the parrot, we're tied again. Next vote for becoming a celebrity or following the parrot takes it.

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
Time to be famous!!!

Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

“Uh, I guess I want to be famous,” you tell Jenna.

“That’s cool.” Jenna smiles. She jumps up from the chair and paces around your family room. “I can picture it. You’re huge. You’re recognized wherever you go. Your face is on every magazine cover in the universe!”

Then she stops in the middle of the room and stares at you. She’s chewing bubble gum, and she blows a big bubble.

“But like, what kind of famous?” she asks you. “I mean, do you want the major celebrity-movie-star-TV thing? Or how about a famous sports star? Or what?”

“Any of that stuff would be great,” you reply quickly.

“Well, it’s your wish, kiddo.” She snaps her bubble gum in your face. “Pick.”

Want to be a famous movie-TV star? Turn to PAGE 85.

Want to be a famous sports star? Turn to PAGE 31


Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Cola Can

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
Transformed into a beautiful painting.
Swapped places with our butler after he got his hands on Jenna's can.
Shamed out of the book for not following the obvious plot hook.

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

We're not making it in sports with these noodle arms, so let's become an actor.

Gloomy Rube
Mar 4, 2008



Let's be a TV star!

I'm guessing this will make us not be an actor but the actual character in a fantasy or sci fi thing and be in danger or something :v:

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Sports, I say.

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Rebonack7
Aug 27, 2015



quote:

A movie star, you decide. Or TV star. It doesn’t matter.

“Okay, so say it,” Jenna demands, still snapping her bubble gum at you. “I can’t give you your wish until you talk the talk. Say the words. Genie rules. Got it?”

“Oh, sure,” you answer. “Okay. Uh...”

You close your eyes. Out of habit. You always close your eyes when you make a wish.

“I wish I were a famous TV star,” you mumble softly.

WHOOSH.

You hear a hissing sound, then feel a burst of steam or smoke or something. When you open your eyes, you find that the whole room is filling up with a white cloud.

You can’t see a thing.

And you start to cough. You can’t breathe! It’s the smoke. It’s filling your lungs! It’s going to smother you!

She tricked me, you think, as you struggle and gasp for air.

The genie tricked me!

quote:

Finally, slowly, the smoke fades away.

When it’s gone, you suck in a big breath of fresh air. Then you glance around.

Wow! You’re sitting in a fancy Hollywood dressing room – in front of a makeup mirror!

Is this my dressing room? Am I famous? Your heart beats extra-fast as you jump up, run out of the dressing room, and look at the door.

YES! There’s a gold star painted on it! And under the star is your name!

“Thank you, Jenna!” you cry. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

For a minute you wonder where Jenna is. But you are too excited to worry about it.

“I’m a star!” you practically shout as you dance back into the dressing room. “I’m famous!”

You throw open the closet doors in your dressing room. You can’t wait to see what kind of fancy clothes a big TV star wears.

But what you discover makes your stomach flip-flop.

“No way,” you murmur, shaking your head. “This can’t be right. No way!”

quote:

You stare into the dark dressing-room closet.

Something green-and-pink stares back at you.

A green and pink Wilfred costume!

Not Wilfred! You hate Wilfred! Wilfred is the worst TV character ever invented. He’s a huge green-and-pink talking dragon – the star of a stupid preschoolers’ TV show.

What’s that doing in there? you wonder. I never wished for a Wilfred costume!

A sharp knock interrupts your thoughts. The door swings open. A pretty blonde woman clutching a clipboard steps into the room.

“Time to get into your costume, Wilfred, babe,” she tells you. “We’ve got a live audience of four-year-olds. And they’re just dying to get their peanut-butter-and-jelly-smeared hands all over you!”

You shake your head in horror. No! It can’t be. You’re not Wilfred – are you?

“Me?” you ask.

“Who else?” the young woman asks. “You’re the star.”

Well, Wilfred, babe. It’s show time! What do you say?

If you try being Wilfred for a while, turn to PAGE 19.

If you get out of there right now by making another wish, turn to PAGE 63.


Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Accidentally wasted all our wishes within two minutes of getting them.
Transported a few centuries into the past with no way of getting home.
Failed to get our mom back and got saddled with 100 clones of us.
Got chopped into ribbons by the final boss of Mortal Revenge.
Arrested for accidentally breaking into a hot dog stand at the food court.
Stayed in the ocean too long and got a terminal case of sunburn.
Transformed into a beautiful painting.
Swapped places with our butler after he got his hands on Jenna's can.
Shamed out of the book for not following the obvious plot hook.

Achievements
Can't Believe That Worked: Made Jenna give us unlimited wishes.
Meet the New Mom: Survived the adventure, but failed to bring our mom back.
It's the Dark Souls of Horror Books: Encountered a total of 150 bad endings.
Genies Are Overrated, Anyway: Freed Jenna from the cola can and returned to our normal life.

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