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Cowcaster posted:man all my life i've been paying like $250 for frames plus another $180 or so for lenses what the hell happened in this very specific case the flashing gif ad that said "what optometrists don't want you to know, lenscrafters hates it!" was actually true and legit
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Jul 3, 2018 17:29
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glasses can be expensive as gently caress if you buy them from your eye doctor costco has cheaper glasses and so does the internet, i got mine for ~30 from a website in SA-Mart
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Jul 3, 2018 17:31
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Cowcaster posted:man all my life i've been paying like $250 for frames plus another $180 or so for lenses what the hell happened glasses are an infamous racket and one of the few places where both a) the free market actually works, and b) the powers that be try to do everything possible to prevent the free market from working some optometrists will straight-up try to hold your measurements for ransom so that you have to buy from their office at an obscene upcharge instead of going to one of the online retailers for a tenth of the price
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Jul 3, 2018 17:31
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Yeah there are a bunch of sites like Zenni that source their lenses and frames from China and you can get pairs of prescription glasses for like 20 bucks these days, if brand names don't matter they are pretty good
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Jul 3, 2018 17:32
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:Yeah there are a bunch of sites like Zenni that source their glasses manufacture from China and you can get pairs of prescription glasses for like 20 bucks these days, if brand names don't matter they are pretty good the brands are all totally irrelevant anyway because nearly all frames are manufactured by the same company i'm lucky enough to work close to one of warby parker's brick and mortar stores and got my glasses and frames bought, custom-fitted and coated for a c-note, plus free repairs for life and replacement lenses at less than half the cost only headache is their models all have these bulgy-rear end earpieces that make wearing headphones over them impossible
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Jul 3, 2018 17:35
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Cowcaster posted:man all my life i've been paying like $250 for frames plus another $180 or so for lenses what the hell happened There is, no joke, a glasses monopoly jacking up the prices in most major glasses retailers. It's not even a conspiracy thing, it's just how things are. Luckily you can dodge it by buying from some online sources or a few other stores but a lot of people don't know about that. FirstAidKite posted:I just feel like maybe I'm being bad here because this is something she wants and I'm raining on her parade by saying "this doesn't sound like the brightest idea" I mean, it sounds like you're part of this financial decision so I don't think you're necessarily overstepping by having an opinion. That said I also don't know your relationship so if you feel like you're just causing more anxiety than helping by providing alternative options then you'll know that better than anyone else
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Jul 3, 2018 17:35
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id like to get lasik some day just because i hate worrying about glasses/contacts whatever, but my eye doc said that even with lasik I might end up needing reading glasses instead
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Jul 3, 2018 17:40
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Doorknob Slobber posted:id like to get lasik some day just because i hate worrying about glasses/contacts whatever, but my eye doc said that even with lasik I might end up needing reading glasses instead Basically everyone needs reading glasses eventually as your eyes get worse at adjusting for distance with age. Even Lasik can’t really sidestep that completely.
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Jul 3, 2018 17:42
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She says frames are a no-go because she hates how she looks in any and all frames, that they are not an option because she says they make her look schlubby and ugly and she hates them.Doorknob Slobber posted:are contacts not an option? She said that she can't deal with her contacts anymore because they make her eyes hurt
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Jul 3, 2018 17:47
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I love KCB, I really do, but sometimes I wish she didn't care quite as much about looks as she does. She used to be a huge stickler for things like colors matching and such back when we were dirt poor and had no income whatsoever and that kind of thing is hard to deal with when you go to a goodwill and instead of just being able to purchase blankets you want, you have to also make sure they match. Thankfully things like that have been dialed down as she's gotten used to not having to match stuff, but she still gets incredibly..vain? is that the word? about her appearance, often saying she looks absolutely hideous just because she is wearing glasses and hasn't fully brushed her hair yet, and this is a hard idea to break with her because the person who raised her is an extremely vain person who only cares about looks and cares about little else and is entirely about looking like the richest of the poor
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Jul 3, 2018 17:51
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FirstAidKite posted:She says frames are a no-go because she hates how she looks in any and all frames, that they are not an option because she says they make her look schlubby and ugly and she hates them. so *hisses air through teeth* your girlfriend might be a crazy person trying to drag you into a swamp of inescapable poverty to temporarily quell her own insatiable neurosis
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Jul 3, 2018 17:51
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Optometrists are all assholes i tell them keep that loving gross eyedrop poo poo away from me if i have glaucoma its my problem your job is telling the glasses factory what lens to make thats why they locked you in the back of the drat warby parker and its not goddamn eyeball general hospital in here!!!!!
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Jul 3, 2018 17:53
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That's another thing I'm worried about, I'm concerned that this will only be a temp fix if she goes through with it, since the problem here isn't specifically the glasses but rather her poor self-esteem and how she sees herself, I don't know how long it'll be after the laser eye surgery before she potentially relapses and says that she's still ugly and hideous. If that even happens at all. I don't know.
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Jul 3, 2018 17:53
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Guys, I know we like to laugh and joke around here in the SA Games Chat thread but I'd like to remind you all that if you are dealing with low self-esteem then there is nothing inherently wrong with you, mental or physical, and it is something that can be worked through with the right support. You are all wonderful, beautiful people and I would grind Support Relationships with you all any day 
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Jul 3, 2018 17:54
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I've been buying off Zenni for years. I even bought prescription sunglasses last year, mirror coated and everything they were only like $40 total.
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Jul 3, 2018 17:55
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FirstAidKite posted:That's another thing I'm worried about, I'm concerned that this will only be a temp fix if she goes through with it, since the problem here isn't specifically the glasses but rather her poor self-esteem and how she sees herself, I don't know how long it'll be after the laser eye surgery before she potentially relapses and says that she's still ugly and hideous. If that even happens at all. I don't know. Its a tough road bud. Bake some brownie mix and tell her you love her.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:00
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Doesn't she look at this thread? Wearing glasses doesn't make me feel bad, but I'm pretty sure random internet people calling me crazy would probably bring me down Rarity posted:Guys, I know we like to laugh and joke around here in the SA Games Chat thread but I'd like to remind you all that if you are dealing with low self-esteem then there is nothing inherently wrong with you, mental or physical, and it is something that can be worked through with the right support. You are all wonderful, beautiful people and I would grind Support Relationships with you all any day 
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Jul 3, 2018 18:03
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I asked her before hand if she cared if I asked in here and she suggested I go for it because there's no harm in getting opinions from others and that she was planning to ask her coworkers as well, she just wishes I'd brought up my concerns earlier. I wish I had too, but I didn't even really have any concerns until I realized that the tentative date for this would be like..a couple weeks from now, when I thought that she'd be trying to aim for a date much later after I get on disability.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:07
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Glasses are so cool Dan Ryckert destroyed his own vision just to get a pair.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:10
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you should probably do the opposite of whatever i recommend but it seems like the compromise here is to plan for getting the lasik (since she's kind of got the whole thing planned out), but hold off on scheduling it until your disability starts coming through first that said i'm fully in the "don't go into debt to pay for what's essentially cosmetic surgery" camp
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Jul 3, 2018 18:12
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VideoGames posted:I do love my many kirbies, but I also absolutely adored Nier. You seem to have made a mistake and forgotten Jet Kirby from your compilation.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:13
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Best of both worlds!
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A dentist tried to sell me invis-align once and offered me one of those credit cards specifically for the procedure. Pretty sure it had something crazy like 40% APY? If the eye doctor one is anything remotely similar, seems bad.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:15
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Saint Freak posted:Glasses are so cool Dan Ryckert destroyed his own vision just to get a pair. And then he got LASIK. And then he was still having problems so he had to have a second round of LASIK! Also he did it through a Groupon. Maybe that's an option (I wouldn't recommend it) suuma posted:A dentist tried to sell me invis-align once and offered me one of those credit cards specifically for the procedure. Pretty sure it had something crazy like 40% APY? If the eye doctor one is anything remotely similar, seems bad. This is why I am sympathetic to the eye surgery thing, sometimes I feel like I could probably do with braces and I feel self-conscious about how my teeth look, but not enough to ignite a huge pile of money
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Jul 3, 2018 18:15
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my general financial advice is "never spend money you don't have" but that's easy for me since i don't drive, sleep underneath strangers' porches and subsist mainly on small insects and trash
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Jul 3, 2018 18:15
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Cowcaster posted:you should probably do the opposite of whatever i recommend but it seems like the compromise here is to plan for getting the lasik (since she's kind of got the whole thing planned out), but hold off on scheduling it until your disability starts coming through first See that was my initial plan, but I feel like an rear end when I tell her that she might be better off waiting a few months for us to actually have that money to spend rather than spending on a credit car now and paying it back later. I hope she comes around to it but I still can't help but feel like a jackass since it is her money and the credit card has her name and the other cosigner's name on it, and I'm not involved in the credit card in anyway and she is an adult so ultimately the decision is her's to make. I just don't think it's the right decision and I'm hoping that she'll be able to see why I think she'd be better off waiting.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:18
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FirstAidKite posted:She says frames are a no-go because she hates how she looks in any and all frames, that they are not an option because she says they make her look schlubby and ugly and she hates them. there are all sorts of crazy subtle way that a good pair of glasses can complement a face and finding a pair that looks smart and powerful and much cheaper than Lasik like, it's cool that there's no interest for two years but that's still an unnecessary debt that you'll be paying off for at least two years and like other people said, that's a long time to not have access to some credit if you do have an emergency don't let the capitalists win
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Jul 3, 2018 18:20
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I asked my eye doctor about LASIK and he used the phrase 'that dog won't hunt' ten times in two minutes, so I guess he meant be careful about who you go to for it. Don't be a Ryckert.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:20
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FirstAidKite posted:See that was my initial plan, but I feel like an rear end when I tell her that she might be better off waiting a few months for us to actually have that money to spend rather than spending on a credit car now and paying it back later. I hope she comes around to it but I still can't help but feel like a jackass since it is her money and the credit card has her name and the other cosigner's name on it, and I'm not involved in the credit card in anyway and she is an adult so ultimately the decision is her's to make. I just don't think it's the right decision and I'm hoping that she'll be able to see why I think she'd be better off waiting. if you're planning on using your disability money to pay for it then no you're not an rear end at all
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Jul 3, 2018 18:21
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I still think you should take her to a glasses shop and try on frame. Be really positive. If you need some coaching here, try "I want you to feel as beautiful as I know you are, but before we take a huge leap with Lasik I would really, really like to take you to look at some frames. Even you wind up not liking any, it would help me be more comfortable with this decision." Then, when you are trying on frames, be very outspoken about whether or not you think they look good. Don't be too negative, even if you really don't like some, but when she tries on something you like say "Those make you look really cute!" or "I think those really say 'KCB'". Remind her that you can get frames that look just like what's in the store online, and you can see the measurements for a frame on the inside of one of the legs. So find a pair that fit nicely and take a photo of those numbers. I have a hard time believing that no frames anywhere will look good on her and I agree that it sounds like she's trying to change something about herself to fix a self-esteem issue, which won't be solved by throwing $4000 at it. And I would also say that you have every right to rain on her parade if she's the person you're dedicated to spending the rest of your life with. Her debt will be your debt, and any future financial problems will be shared between you. You're already talking about using your disability on her expenses. At the very, very least, I would put the operation on hold until you have at least $2000 in ready funds. If she still is adamant about Lasik, then there's not much more you can do to change her mind, but you'll be that much closer to paying off the debt, your disability will likely have come through, and you'll have had time to exhaust all other options. I hope you two come to some agreement you're both happy with. I have had friends who, from the way you describe your life, have been in similar situations, and I would like you to have better luck than them.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:22
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Relax Or DIE posted:I asked my eye doctor about LASIK and he used the phrase 'that dog won't hunt' ten times in two minutes, so I guess he meant be careful about who you go to for it. Don't be a Ryckert. My co-worker got LASIK and loves it, but my friend's sister got it and her eyes hurt all the time. Seems pretty swingy with opinions and therefore I'm gonna stick with contacts/glasses forever instead.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:24
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FirstAidKite posted:That's another thing I'm worried about, I'm concerned that this will only be a temp fix if she goes through with it, since the problem here isn't specifically the glasses but rather her poor self-esteem and how she sees herself, I don't know how long it'll be after the laser eye surgery before she potentially relapses and says that she's still ugly and hideous. If that even happens at all. I don't know. I mean, I can relate pretty hard to this. I have an extremely low opinion of my appearance and I always have. Even after I lost 120 pounds in college I still saw myself as fat and stupid-looking. Eventually no amount of modifications to your body or your fashion can override low self-esteem. In that situation, you'll find any reason to cut yourself down--it might not even be unconscious, that's the most hosed-up part. Sometimes you even know exactly what you're doing and can't stop it. It's still worth trying frames unless she's just 100% against even trying it at all. Glasses come in such a wide variety of sizes, shapes, colors, and styles that it's impossible to believe that there's anyone for whom there are absolutely no glasses that look good. And because of that wide range of styles, there are definitely some kinds of glasses that absolutely do look bad on certain people--that doesn't mean those people are ugly or even that they can never look good in glasses, just that those aren't the right ones.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:24
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Sounds like she definitely needs some positive reinforcement too. There's lots of sleek, low profile frames or even designer frames that aren't necessarily expensive that look great. Plus I imagine that nobody but her is being that harsh about how she looks with glasses.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:26
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The thread playlist has a disturbing lack of Shadow Hearts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foSu7jxwctA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08IEiIfkeeE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKrncIbJdVc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmjmndxmGlY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcm3ak-SLqM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGWVzDhDHMc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYiwMd5y78E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moUQQFPN_4M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MRHV_Cf41E
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Jul 3, 2018 18:27
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also don't be afraid to ask clerks for recommendations on what would suit her face, or if any tweaks can be made to frames y'all like if you find anything
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Jul 3, 2018 18:29
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Shadow Hearts loving rules
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Jul 3, 2018 18:30
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start picking your nose constantly when you're together in public to draw attention away from her
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Jul 3, 2018 18:31
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I just want to say thank you to everyone who has replied back, I appreciate it so much. I was afraid that maybe I was being unreasonable and controlling and abusive and I'm glad to have all these replies that I can show her. I try to be supportive of her in everything she does but the eye surgery stuff just seemed like..such a stretch for right now, but I was afraid that me asking her to wait would make me just like this other guy we make fun of who is always telling his girlfriend that she needs to give him his allowance so he can go buy TCG booster sets at walmart so he can try to make money off of them by reselling them. I'm just brokebrained and I'm happy that people are willing to put up with my poo poo this early in the day on a tuesday
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Jul 3, 2018 18:34
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Accordion Man posted:The thread playlist has a disturbing lack of Shadow Hearts. I bought a copy of Koudelka when I was a young teen from a clerk who didn't care how old I was, but the first disc was a little defective and it wouldn't freeze about an hour into the game. I took it back but a different clerk wouldn't let me exchange it without my mom, who I was sure wouldn't approve of me playing an M rated game. I think I exchanged it for credit but I don't remember what I bought with the money. Anyway, that's my story about Koudelka and I've always wanted to play it through since that first taste.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:34
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FirstAidKite posted:I just want to say thank you to everyone who has replied back, I appreciate it so much. I was afraid that maybe I was being unreasonable and controlling and abusive and I'm glad to have all these replies that I can show her. I try to be supportive of her in everything she does but the eye surgery stuff just seemed like..such a stretch for right now, but I was afraid that me asking her to wait would make me just like this other guy we make fun of who is always telling his girlfriend that she needs to give him his allowance so he can go buy TCG booster sets at walmart so he can try to make money off of them by reselling them. Be sure to print all these posts out so you have something to tap with the back of your hand after you shout "OBJECTION!"
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Jul 3, 2018 18:36
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Use 500$ of that money to take her to a beauty spa or something instead
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Jul 3, 2018 18:46
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