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Welcome to my channel, internetonauts. Today I'm going to pulverize my dick and balls with this meat tenderizer. *Absolutely flattens my dick and balls* Now that that's wrapped up, I've been meaning to discuss the abuse that I suffered at a very young age at the hands of a family member
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Jul 13, 2018 07:46
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Brits in 1940: Well the bombs keep coming down every night but stiff upper lip, let's go clean up the bodies and rubble from last night's bombs and get ready for tonight's! Americans in 2018: I AM JUST SO EXHAUSTED FROM MAKING THESE VIDEOS I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY LIFE >cries< I know exactly one "Youtuber," the LA Beast, who I learned about when someone told me a man was drinking bottles of pancake syrup. All the ones my nephew watches seem to be about the most worthless stupid poo poo I've ever seen, all featuring some loud weakling who's never been in a confrontation in their life acting like a bad-rear end gangsta and saying "douche" a lot. Swap jobs with a roofer, see how unbearable your life is then.
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Jul 13, 2018 08:13
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Terrific Accident posted:Welcome to my channel, internetonauts. Today I'm going to pulverize my dick and balls with this meat tenderizer. *Absolutely flattens my dick and balls* Now that that's wrapped up, I've been meaning to discuss the abuse that I suffered at a very young age at the hands of a family member
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Jul 13, 2018 08:57
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hope this guy is some kind of savant with no drive to actually entertain himself because that seems like actual torture
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Jul 13, 2018 09:26
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*Some dork sits down, counts to 100.000* 12 million views Definitely makes sense, this youtube thing
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Jul 13, 2018 09:42
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WatchMojo claims they put out a new top ten list every day. I wonder how many people are involved in making those drat lists every day. You've got to come up with a ton of lists (and they've got to be running out ideas for lists at this point), write the copy, gather all the videos and edit them, etc. I don't know how they're making any money on that.
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Jul 13, 2018 10:28
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Zzulu posted:*Some dork sits down, counts to 100.000* Those are clicks, not views. And the funny thing is, he probably gets almost nothing in add revenue from these vids, as the monetization is based on view-time percentage. Anything that is longer than 10 minutes on youtube is worth nothing.
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Jul 13, 2018 11:01
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Chemtrail posted:Those are clicks, not views. And the funny thing is, he probably gets almost nothing in add revenue from these vids, as the monetization is based on view-time percentage. Anything that is longer than 10 minutes on youtube is worth nothing. That's why most LPs hit the 20, 30 minute mark every part, right?
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Jul 13, 2018 12:50
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A. Beaverhausen posted:That's why most LPs hit the 20, 30 minute mark every part, right? That and also why record a new vid every day, if you can milk one recording for a week.
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Jul 13, 2018 12:59
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We should all make comics like the stick figure comic cooking guy. He's racking in that sweet patreon cash https://www.patreon.com/cookingcomically
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Jul 13, 2018 13:58
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Zzulu posted:*Some dork sits down, counts to 100.000* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9GU4P-1AWI The fact that that video has over 4,000,000 views basically tells you everything you need to know about YouTube. It's a farting deer.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:00
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The deer farting is a million times better content than any youtube celebrity has ever put out.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:07
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big nipples big life posted:The deer farting is a million times better content than any youtube celebrity has ever put out. Look at this chump who doesn't know the real money and content is from Play Doh Shrek Rotten Root Canal Playset with Dentist Dr Drill N Fill Play Dough Review 
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Jul 13, 2018 15:09
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What still blows my mind is how YouTube stars go on 'tour' and sell out venues for $100 a ticket to go on stage and just dick around
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Jul 13, 2018 15:11
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ToxicSlurpee posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9GU4P-1AWI This is undoubtedly the best YouTube video I have ever seen
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Jul 13, 2018 15:14
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A guy I went to uni with is always posting on Facebook that he’s working on new videos where he like ranks movies in a series or whatever that he promises to release that night and then later on that evening he’ll be back on pleading for forgiveness from his “fans” because he just wasn’t able to get the video produced in time. I always feel a bit bad for him because he only has like 6 subscribers anyway and his videos normally get about 20 views and that’s it.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:19
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Chrs Gry posted:A guy I went to uni with is always posting on Facebook that he’s working on new videos where he like ranks movies in a series or whatever that he promises to release that night and then later on that evening he’ll be back on pleading for forgiveness from his “fans” because he just wasn’t able to get the video produced in time. I always feel a bit bad for him because he only has like 6 subscribers anyway and his videos normally get about 20 views and that’s it. This guy looks at logan paul and pewdiepie and is inspired to be that person which means they have earned your pity but if you give them charity you are aiding and abetting the transformation of a person into a were-brand, part man, part corporate brand. I'd tell you to kill him but if you fail and only wound him the media will make him more powerful than before while simultaneously draining you of your life energy
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Jul 13, 2018 15:24
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Motherfucker posted:
Scream 4 was right.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:28
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I think on a surface level everyone wants to be that Pewdiepie figure where they have a huge following and make millions from farting into pillows but once you go deeper and realize that a career in YouTube means you are essentially a public figure for life and have to service that platform in order to sustain yourself, it seems like a living hell.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:30
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Bath Tubs posted:I think on a surface level everyone wants to be that Pewdiepie figure where they have a huge following and make millions from farting into pillows but once you go deeper and realize that a career in YouTube means you are essentially a public figure for life and have to service that platform in order to sustain yourself, it seems like a living hell. no I'm pretty sure everyone knew that was the devils bargain, its pretty loving obvious. people want pewdiepie money as an idle fantasy but getting rich and getting rich in that way requires a certain switch in your brain that turns off blood-flow to your critical thinking and self reflection lobes. Despite my inherent cynicism I think people are generally I wouldn't say good intrinsically but anyone who thinks "I want to debase myself and become a corporate mascot for coin" is not a complete person. Even pewdiepie no longer wants to be pewdiepie.
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Jul 13, 2018 15:40
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99% of these people don't want to make videos, they want to have made videos. It's the same with any creative endeavor. The ones who are good and who last just start doing it because they enjoy it and if they make it big, that's an extra bonus
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Jul 13, 2018 16:00
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Hang on I can make money on youtube with all these rami malek music videos I made? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLQo3Zv66mc&t=8s Oh yea, youtube is were its at.
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Jul 13, 2018 16:55
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A. Beaverhausen posted:That's why most LPs hit the 20, 30 minute mark every part, right? yea and that's why vlogs and how-to videos that should take 10-30 seconds are always padded with massive amounts of filler
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Jul 13, 2018 16:59
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big nipples big life posted:The deer farting is a million times better content than any youtube celebrity has ever put out. i miss the days when everything on youtube was bizarre poo poo, dumb jokes, and 5 second blooper videos
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Jul 13, 2018 17:01
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feelix posted:99% of these people don't want to make videos, they want to have made videos. It's the same with any creative endeavor. The ones who are good and who last just start doing it because they enjoy it and if they make it big, that's an extra bonus Eh, I think some of it is like people that dream of being rock stars but then find out there is a bunch of poo poo under the glamor. Though in this case they seen to be realizing that entertainment of any type is primaily boring drudgery. I get the feeling that they're suddenly finding that making a good video involves a lot of actual work while the internet is a hungry void always demanding more.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:04
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Eh, I think some of it is like people that dream of being rock stars but then find out there is a bunch of poo poo under the glamor. Though in this case they seen to be realizing that entertainment of any type is primaily boring drudgery. I get the feeling that they're suddenly finding that making a good video involves a lot of actual work while the internet is a hungry void always demanding more. It is exactly like people who dream of being rock stars. People who dream of being rock stars don't want to write and/or play music, they want to have written and/or played music.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:44
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feelix posted:It is exactly like people who dream of being rock stars. People who dream of being rock stars don't want to write and/or play music, they want to have written and/or played music. To be honest I think they do want to write and play music but not do all the other bullshit that a rock star has to do to get there. If you're new you don't get a bus for each member you tour in a lovely van. You have to fix your own instruments, work on a shoe string budget, and not hire roadies. Sometimes all that shows up is two people and a dog. You do all your own publicity. People are chasing after the cool parts without wanting the parts that suck. Even then its still a job where you have to keep showing up even if you don't feel like it. Nothing is all glitz and glamor. Thats why I'm saying it's similar. They want the fun and cool parts but are realizing that the majority of what you have to do actually kind of sucks. Like even if you become a huge rock star you still have to live on a bus for months at a time. Being a YouTube star means always making new fresh and good content and boring video editing.
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Jul 13, 2018 17:53
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ToxicSlurpee posted:To be honest I think they do want to write and play music but not do all the other bullshit that a rock star has to do to get there. If you're new you don't get a bus for each member you tour in a lovely van. You have to fix your own instruments, work on a shoe string budget, and not hire roadies. Sometimes all that shows up is two people and a dog. You do all your own publicity. People are chasing after the cool parts without wanting the parts that suck. Even then its still a job where you have to keep showing up even if you don't feel like it. Nothing is all glitz and glamor. Thats why I'm saying it's similar. They want the fun and cool parts but are realizing that the majority of what you have to do actually kind of sucks. Yeah but none of that stuff matters if you just like writing and playing music. You don't care that only 3 people show up and riding in vans and fixing your own guitar is fun
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Jul 13, 2018 18:26
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We should all comment "my nigga have u tried lsd" on her depression video.
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Jul 13, 2018 18:56
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Bath Tubs posted:What still blows my mind is how YouTube stars go on 'tour' and sell out venues for $100 a ticket to go on stage and just dick around ....what? I have never heard of that as a thing but holy jesus. I mean if its a podcast I understand but like, just a random fuckface talking into their camera?
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Jul 13, 2018 19:59
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Drothmar posted:....what? I have never heard of that as a thing but holy jesus. I mean if its a podcast I understand but like, just a random fuckface talking into their camera? It’s usually a Youtuber that has a crew and they just sing and perform skits poorly for a few hours.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:15
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little munchkin posted:yea and that's why vlogs and how-to videos that should take 10-30 seconds are always padded with massive amounts of filler Well yeah, if the video is less than 10 minutes it can only have one ad break, but if it's at least 10 minutes you can have 3-4 ads. Now try and see how many people pad to meet that 10 minute mark.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:26
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Drump is Drek: a sociopolitical analysis capitalistic excess via the Play Doh Shrek Rotten Root Canal Playset with Dentist Dr Drill N Fill Play Dough. Run time 2 hours and 45 minutes.
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Jul 13, 2018 20:27
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looks like all these 30 year old boomers don't understand what a quarter life crisis is
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Jul 13, 2018 21:19
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Youtubers are braver than the troops. Hell, they may be braver than the flag.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:24
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What was the exact moment that youtube headed down this path of low-effort, clickbait-y, compilations/vlogging videos? I swear there used to be a point when youtube was a direct challenge to TV and instead it became TV 2.0 with it's own set of air-headed celebrities and youtubers who sold out, and garbage content which is mostly about advertising for something.Minorkos posted:30 year old boomers Really don't understand this meme.
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Jul 13, 2018 21:30
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YagotmeIdidit posted:What was the exact moment that youtube headed down this path of low-effort, clickbait-y, compilations/vlogging videos? I swear there used to be a point when youtube was a direct challenge to TV and instead it became TV 2.0 with it's own set of air-headed celebrities and youtubers who sold out, and garbage content which is mostly about advertising for something. monetization
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Jul 13, 2018 21:34
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A strange new world where a 20 year old gets burned out and quits her safe YouTube gig to take a risk and try and get a job with long-term job security and benefits.
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Jul 13, 2018 22:53
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Collapsing Farts posted:I love watching that adult man-child-thing in suits trying on trashy foods  I like when he calls the pepperoni "deadly meat" Sure is a change of pace from Joey's World Tour https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpbcj-dw-8A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3enDjTnsrQ
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Jul 15, 2018 09:55
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Rhesus Pieces posted:YouTube is actually great for car/home repair how-tos. I've probably saved hundreds of dollars learning how to do simple car repair stuff on YouTube rather than paying a mechanic to do it. ToxicSlurpee posted:You have no idea how much YouTube has helped my math education. Granted like none of the videos I've watched have had more than 20,000 views but gently caress it, I can just watch random videos on whatever thing I want to learn until it sticks. YouTube is an amazing teaching tool. I'm really into music theory and there's about half a dozen amazing channels and a whole load more great videos on any subject. Plus whatever else, new computer part, look up how to fit it. Having a DIY problem and can't work it out, probably a video about it. These channels get hundreds or thousands rather than millions of views and no drama anywhere, and seem to be run by normal people. There is a good part of YouTube, it's just tiny and you have to look for it. Konsek fucked around with this message at 10:04 on Jul 15, 2018 |
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Jul 15, 2018 09:58
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