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Ok, if someone actually decides to write the story, can you title it "Toke Parp Rub" ?
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Jul 23, 2018 23:14
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TheAgent posted:and to my only living heir, I bequeath my
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Jul 23, 2018 23:20
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Sample_text posted:"Hey boss, light me a blunt while I explain to this rear end in a top hat why he's wrong about videogames and/or gently caress." I'm literally seeing this starting to come together. Maybe a new Clerks movie? monkeytek posted:I can only have sex when Citizens are nearby, please don't kink-shame. It's alright, you can tell us how much u r in 4, commando. We're good here. 
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Jul 23, 2018 23:21
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The Titanic posted:I'm literally seeing this starting to come together. Maybe a new Clerks movie? I keep trying but keep clipping through the floor before completion 
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Jul 23, 2018 23:24
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TheLastRoboKy posted:Erris is the kind of weak-spined sissy-child that would change his tune real loving quick if he ever had a conversation with one of these "terrible people" and I'm not even talking about like some dumb "talk to me in real life not across the galaxy" bullshit. He'd fold faster than CIG's shell companies in the bankruptcy implosion and backtrack so hard he'd leave a dust-cloud in the shape of a cowering simp if he even had to talk in a voice chat with someone who could articulate in a clear and polite manner their reasoning for their refund and their dislike of being labelled a miscreant. The man has the resolve of jello. You don't even need to talk to him. Erris folded instantly when I confronted him for calling me a liar about those Sandi messages, and all I did was send him an email.
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Jul 23, 2018 23:46
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That's the ambivalent thing with backers and shills. On one hand, they obviously suffer from deep psychological issues and so we should rather display understanding and compassion toward them, they're mentally crippled after all. On the other hand, they're always obnoxious and insufferable, leading us to the point where it's not possible anymore to be nice with them.
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Jul 23, 2018 23:56
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TheSickeningTruth posted:That's the ambivalent thing with backers and shills. Sample_text posted:I think it's worth mentioning , again, that the remaining "hardcore" SC backers are literally the 10% crazies you find in most video-game fanbases.
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Jul 23, 2018 23:59
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Pixelate posted:Holy crap, they really do take Elite's worst mistakes and triple them don't they. How is making travel through dead space that lengthy a good thing? Does the mopping tech really react that badly with the planetary tech? Personally, I think the ponderous travel times are specifically intended to create the illusion of the staggering scale of Chris Roberts’ Here is Roberts showing off the 8 minute travel time to Hurston. Wow! Such an incredible massive distance! The madman has done it! And look, they’ve improved the particle effects from the last re-do of the re-do we got four re-dos ago! Yet still, in meaningful terms, Roberts is showing off a future vision still far short of the Gamescom 2016 definition of Stanton proper. He is therefore sentencing players to ensure 8 minutes of idle, disengaged non-play time playtime to prove to them this is indeed the biggest game ever imagined or attempted by man. The long distances also give players a sense of absolute nothingness so that when they encounter something after the long trip, they’ll be relieved and it will feel like they’ve taken a consequential journey and wow, was it ever worth it. After all that nothingness, now I have something and let me at it! Yet we see this has been Roberts approach with every major demo since summer 2016. The first viewing is seasoned and energized by a roaring crowd and Roberts narrating the dream. Yet the second viewing, when one breaks it down into the gameplay part vs the stage presentation part, it becomes clearer how much it really doesn’t have to offer to a gamer. The Squadron slice, Gamescom 2016, CitizenCon 2016, Gamescom 2017, CitizenCon 2017 all tell players — you will sit and watch more than play this thing. And you will be amazed at my cinematic vision. The visible parts of a game are no more indicative of its soul than the human skin is to a person’s. The invisible parts are where the gaming experience exists but Roberts has never had time for that because superficialties are his true love. Flight model turns to crap. “Who cares?” AI is barely functional in year 6. “No big deal!” Core mechanics of the Kickstarter game are mostly missing after nine figures spent. “You don’t understand— I’m not designing games that you play, I’m designing games you sit and watch — aren’t you amazed yet?”
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Jul 24, 2018 00:02
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Do you think these stupid fucks realize the memers and the content creators are often the same people in Skyrim? Like no modder's ever enjoyed stupid floating horses and backwards dragons.
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Jul 24, 2018 00:24
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monkeytek posted:I can only have sex when Citizens are nearby, please don't kink-shame. I find most Citizens that I've met smelt exactly like sex repellant, a heady mix of damp dead dog, sweaty feet, and unwashed armpit amplified by a hit of grim yeasty smegma. I can tell why it's not to everyones liking.
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Jul 24, 2018 00:26
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Sample_text posted:There are so many procedurally generated truck stops , you might travel your entire life without reaching Hurston. The odds are like..... Bigger ships having more fuel to make further jumps seems like atmosphere logic being applied to space. Why can't the small ships jump further?
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Jul 24, 2018 00:34
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:You don't even need to talk to him. Erris folded instantly when I confronted him for calling me a liar about those Sandi messages, and all I did was send him an email. They're such a bunch of origami boys.
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Jul 24, 2018 00:55
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Am I the only one who reads "Stanton" as "Scranton" in Store Citizer communiques?
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Jul 24, 2018 01:07
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AlbieQuirky posted:Am I the only one who reads "Stanton" as "Scranton" in Store Citizer communiques? Roberts is Michael Scott, Lando is Jim, Lesnick is Dwight
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Jul 24, 2018 01:14
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Zaphod42 posted:Bigger ships having more fuel to make further jumps seems like atmosphere logic being applied to space. Why can't the small ships jump further? A simple glance at that document where they break down how fuel and refueling will work will give you your answer: nobody at CIG has any loving idea how to make a video game fun
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Jul 24, 2018 01:19
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Beet Wagon posted:nobody at CIG has any loving idea how to make a video game
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Jul 24, 2018 01:24
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Oh god Beet's avatar
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Jul 24, 2018 01:24
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Beet Wagon posted:A simple glance at that document where they break down how fuel and refueling will work will give you your answer: nobody at CIG has any loving idea how to make a video game fun They should just make the players have to fill out actual forms in game for literally everything, they only thing they'd enjoy more is if CIG made its own Reddit inside the game so they could sit in their ships complaining about Derek Smart.
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Jul 24, 2018 01:32
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TheLastRoboKy posted:They should just make the players have to fill out actual forms in game for literally everything... That’s practically the plan. Listen in amazement at the riveting bureaucratic hustle Chris Roberts envisions in the world’s first Quadruple A game!
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Jul 24, 2018 01:42
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G0RF posted:That’s practically the plan. Damnit G0RF you remind me all my insulting ideas are reality.
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Jul 24, 2018 01:44
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AlbieQuirky posted:Am I the only one who reads "Stanton" as "Scranton" in Store Citizer communiques? Yes. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue and it looks plain enough that you don't really look at it twice since your mind just uses its massive auto correct to say "I know this word skip to the next".
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Jul 24, 2018 01:45
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Caught up with the thread. My kids attended their first sports day and Star Citizen isn't even out yet. How time flies! Also, if not for some kind of bias, my guess is that most Star Citizen backers fit that body build in Morphix's shot and are all about their euphoric spaceship dreams while taking mushrooms. Then pledging for the upcoming spaceship cause that gives them their next kick.
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Jul 24, 2018 01:54
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I watched that video of the trip and what i found most noticeable is unlike footage from elite: dangerous, there aren't interesting menus or text or stats or anything meaningful to navigate while flying places. its a shame the graphics look so fuckin good and stuff because every time i watch a video like that i find myself temporarily taken in by the potential awesomeness of landing freelancer style on a moon with a bunch of cities and stuff you can fly around and see but then i remember that procedural generation is boring as hell
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Jul 24, 2018 02:01
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TheLastRoboKy posted:Damnit G0RF you remind me all my insulting ideas are reality. We can not easily satirize that which parodies itself - . Chris, for once, has beaten the cynics to the punch(line.)
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Jul 24, 2018 02:16
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punchlines above their weight
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Jul 24, 2018 02:19
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AlbieQuirky posted:punchlines above their weight  Punchlines above their wait.
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Jul 24, 2018 02:20
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:You don't even need to talk to him. Erris folded instantly when I confronted him for calling me a liar about those Sandi messages, and all I did was send him an email. I only Erris-watched one time and it was one of those times when CIG did something or other that was a Bad Thing leading to a therapeutic outburst of extremely mild criticism. All the other neckbeards on the show were like, "CIG shouldn't have done the Bad Thing." Or, "The Bad Thing illustrates all that's wrong with CIG's marketing." Or, "Star Citizen is in such an incomplete state that CIG shouldn't have even considered doing the Bad Thing until there's an actual game to play." Basically almost things regular people might say. But as this onslaught was going on, Erris was literally squirming like he had bugs under his skin and rubbing his face and I swear I saw him start panting. The dude looked like he was about to start weeping. Erris is a worm, I think.
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Jul 24, 2018 02:29
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im going to buy some expensive ships and then infiltrate TEST squadron and report on their private conversations to the goon covert ops discord
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Jul 24, 2018 02:32
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G0RF posted:Personally, I think the ponderous travel times are specifically intended to create the illusion of the staggering scale of Chris Roberts’ After 200 or so hours of Warframe, I can say that having navigation / teleport nodes is the way to go. Aside from a well done loading screen, you shouldn't ransom players into endless hours of doing nothing. Elite needs some kind of rework for its navigation, yes its a simulator, but doing absolutely nothing for 2 hours with the sense of progression an illusion of hopping into a different "room" / star system, its lacking a ton. Here's what Warframe does really well, from a gameplay point of view. - You start off with nothing, know nothing, both in game and in reality. - You begin to understand movement, shooting. WTF is this story. - You begin to understand the story (holy poo poo), and movement and shooting become second nature. - You begin to realize where to get resources and start farming them. Build stuff, lots of stuff. - You take on missions to scan stuff for a codex, Scanning is manual. - You now automatically accumulate materials without having to scavenge and source. Can build new things without having to specifically gather materials. - You get a new shiny drone thing that See overtime, even if the core game loop remains the same, other factors are gradually shifting, many things which are manual for newbies are automated for you, the Tenno who remembered his ways. My focus is still on obliterating the entire map with my Warframes. In Elite however, this gradual shift of non priority events is non existent. The powershift doesn't happen. Even if you own the biggest baddest ship, yes the core gameplay remains, EVE on the other hand does it well because you'll never know when the suicide squad jumps you and you die even in hisec. I've been apart of these squads and they're good and fun. Now, Star Citizen is seemingly deadly and more visceral than all games we understand combined. There is no core game loop to explore or even understand at this point. Aside from the fetch quests and delivery? quests, there isn't much to go on to how one will progress in Star Citizen, buying more ships is the only true progress. How does "endgame" look like? Where does it go from there? Is endgame = enslaving 12 players on your ship so everything is "automated" for you, the one true player. While other players do the tasks you used to do because of the amount pledged? Lol
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Jul 24, 2018 02:33
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Awesome! posted:im going to buy some expensive ships and then infiltrate TEST squadron and report on their private conversations to the goon covert ops discord Just pretend you have the space ships , it's what the rest of their guild does anyways
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Jul 24, 2018 02:38
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awox a test cap ship and be the thread hero
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Jul 24, 2018 02:47
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G0RF posted:Vast Tracts of Land (Claims and houses) Not just the houses and land, think of all the furniture and decorations they can sell! Customized wankpods! They could make a mobile app where you can decorate your SpaceHouse™ or even modify your ship! CIG'll promise that what you change on the app will change your house or ship in-game (but it'll happen "in the next update"). You can buy the custom furniture for your 600i and buy it in-app. Custom furniture arrangements (that don't appear in-game yet, but they will soon, and boy howdy will they be awesome. CIG owes me money
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Jul 24, 2018 03:17
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I saw a Citizen at a minor league ball game on Sunday so I did the proper thing and ignored him because that is the proper course of action. Also Scranton has a Houdini museum and is a fun place to get drunk and spend the night.
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Jul 24, 2018 03:19
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AlbieQuirky posted:Am I the only one who reads "Stanton" as "Scranton" in Store Citizer communiques? I always see that too. Also whenever I see Daymar I think: Daymar! AhhAAAahhhh! Fighter of the nightmar! AhhAAAahhh!
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Jul 24, 2018 03:22
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Awesome! posted:im going to buy some expensive ships and then infiltrate TEST squadron and report on their private conversations to the goon covert ops discord you should watch out, something about staring into the mouth of abyss ive heard once, i don't think any man or woman or even chinaman can stand those levels of snark without being deeply broken by them
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Jul 24, 2018 03:30
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no_recall posted:After 200 or so hours of Warframe, I can say that having navigation / teleport nodes is the way to go. Aside from a well done loading screen, you shouldn't ransom players into endless hours of doing nothing. Elite needs some kind of rework for its navigation, yes its a simulator, but doing absolutely nothing for 2 hours with the sense of progression an illusion of hopping into a different "room" / star system, its lacking a ton. Look, it is not that hard, just go play super metroid. As you get stronger you also get faster, so you can ignore weaklings an go thru the older areas in a blink of an eye. It's not rocket science so, when games do the bullshit Elite does, it's a deliberate choice that a very special kind of player appreciates.
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Jul 24, 2018 03:52
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Morphix posted:it's actually pretty freeing and wonderful, I was pumped because I mostly there to job network and my possible future boss and I bonded over me giving him poo poo about being johny-hold-a-lit-joint while he was rolling another and than later having a friendly chat about rolling techniques and how he had heard all about me from our mutual friend. Did this boss guy uh and argh alot? Did he wave his hands around like Stan from Monkey Island? Was he there with his wife who is not his wife but is his wife who reminded you of Skeletor? Did he have an investment opportunity for you that involved highly fidelitous jpegs on his phone? Whenever he was about did you get the feeling their was a Warlord hiding nearby, watching, spreading FUD? When you asked him if he felt like a beer, did you think it was just the shrooms when this was his reply?  Have you been missing your wallet since this party? You may have been Crobbers. (No Refunds!)
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Jul 24, 2018 04:18
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Zazz Razzamatazz posted:
Lol no they can't.
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Jul 24, 2018 05:49
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Zazz Razzamatazz posted:I always see that too. This is the best thing to think. I saw it on reddit somewhere and lost my coffee out my nose.
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Jul 24, 2018 06:21
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AlbieQuirky posted:Am I the only one who reads "Stanton" as "Scranton" in Store Citizer communiques? You are not alone. I always think of Trixie, the Giraffe-necked girl from Scranton in Sam and Max Hit The Road. Funny, but at the same time annoying.
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Jul 24, 2018 09:38
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