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I've heard that lie before in this very thread.
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Aug 3, 2018 15:06
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Spermy Smurf posted:I've heard that lie before in this very thread. I think you've said that lie
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Aug 3, 2018 19:21
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That’s how spermy knows they’ve heard it before 
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Aug 3, 2018 19:25
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verbal enema posted:I think you've said that lie This is like my second post ever in this thread. I have no idea what you are talking about.
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Aug 3, 2018 19:27
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Hello and welcome to the third round of the 1057 Armok League tournament! Let's hop right into it - this one promises to be a bloodbath! On the left side, we have Beer Batter, a nude Dwarf with naught by a Silver Flail to his name! And across from him, standing at twice his height, is On bi van kenjo bi, the Yeti clad in mostly full iron from head to massive foot!  They clash, and immediately they draw blood! On bi immediately attempts to get a grab off onto the nude Dwarf who counters viciously - and makes Armok proud in doing so - by sinking his teeth into the Yeti's arm through the mail it wears, and I swear I saw that rug flinch! Moments later, the Dwarf's flail comes up and strikes home and draws blood - and quite a lot of it! It crushes On bi's right eye, leaving nothing but pulp and fury in the socket! Instant replay! posted:Beer Batter bashes On bi van kenjo bi in the right eye with her silver flail and the injured part is crushed! Beer Batter slams his flail into the Yeti's chest, bruising it further, but that just seems to get the critter riled up! They trade blows, Beer Batter slamming his flail into the Yeti's chest while On bi lands a devastating punch to the Dwarf's leg, leaving a hefty bruise.    They dance around each other, taking pot shots but neither side gaining an advantage for a time. And then the Yeti spies its opportunity, and the gladiator pulls the ol' Face Invader! The Face Invader! posted:On bi van kenjo bi grabs Beer Batter by the upper right back teeth with his left upper arm!  To his credit, Beer Batter stands back up again, only rattled, but that doesn't last long: the Yeti grabs the Dwarf by the head and punches him in the lip, then the hand - and bah god, they both split into two!  The damage is surface, but Armok be damned if it don't hurt!  On bi charges into Beer Batter, knocking them both to the ground, and it's too much for the Dwarf! He falls unconscious, and then it's only a matter of time...    And some revenge for On bi for the Dwarf getting first blood.  Eventually the Dwarf's grip on his flail relents.   And at last, with a final graceless punch, the Dwarf gives up. On bi is the winner in this bloody bout! Praise Armok! And the replay, for the viewers at home!
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Aug 3, 2018 19:41
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Yeah that's about what I was expecting from the moment I saw I was up against a yeti. Those are always a tough draw in the first round.
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Aug 3, 2018 19:44
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Cythereal posted:Yeah that's about what I was expecting from the moment I saw I was up against a yeti. Those are always a tough draw in the first round. Honestly, what this doesn't show super well is that Beer Batter did -great- for a while. They couldn't hurt each other for around 150~ turns beyond his first couple of flail slaps. E: poo poo, I forgot to edit the arena text file to get the names right. My bad! Galick fucked around with this message at 19:59 on Aug 3, 2018 |
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Aug 3, 2018 19:47
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Naked dwarf dick just swinging around distracting the yeti
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Aug 3, 2018 19:52
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Derek Smart's new blog is just awaiting clearance from Legal. This is the ELE.
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Aug 4, 2018 09:17
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Well, poo poo. Sorry Cythereal. 
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Aug 4, 2018 13:56
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my dad posted:Well, poo poo. Sorry Cythereal. It happens. Someone had to draw the yeti, and the naked berserker build doesn't have a lot of middle ground.
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Aug 4, 2018 14:05
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verbal enema posted:Epsilon Moonshade and goatface you are jerks for betting against me I am totally using "betting on horse racing when you're 10" rules this time around - that is to say, I pick whichever name sounds better and pick whichever odds are better at the time.
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Aug 4, 2018 21:49
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I put all my money on the bewbs, just like it should be. Two-day-later edit: Umm, did I scare everyone away with my boob-comment? It's OK, guys. They are a perfectly ordinary part of human anatomy. I'm sure you've at least seen a pair once or twice... Come back... It's lonely here at the arena... Fuubi fucked around with this message at 14:11 on Aug 7, 2018 |
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Aug 5, 2018 11:57
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I'm working on a script that will auto generate somewhat readable text-only write-ups from combat logs. If I ever finish it I'll run a mini tournament to test it out
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Aug 8, 2018 12:09
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1057 Armok Arena League has been struck down!
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Aug 11, 2018 06:24
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now we have two incomplete arena seasons!
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Aug 11, 2018 06:32
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I reckon we can make it three if we try!
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Aug 12, 2018 21:52
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Make gallick fight spermy smurf to the death
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Aug 12, 2018 22:04
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Or have jazz run a fight with our two gladiators. That can be the third unfinished tourney.
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Aug 12, 2018 22:14
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Every time a tourney stalls, my fighter wins.
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Aug 13, 2018 18:39
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gently caress it, if I find the time, I'll run a fight or two. Commish me.
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Aug 13, 2018 18:41
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No it's better this way, I'm doing great so far.
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Aug 13, 2018 18:54
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Sorry, I actually forgot about this thread for a few days. I'll be running the fight now!my dad posted:gently caress it, if I find the time, I'll run a fight or two. Commish me. Once I figure out how to do this, sure.
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Aug 13, 2018 18:57
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 Hello and welcome back to the 1057 Armok League tournament - let's get to the killin'!   On your left, we have Derek Smart, a filthy Elf wearing a full set of copper - sans pants - with a copper greatsword held in his twig-like hands! And on the right, we have a marvel of Dwarven engineering and ingenuity, Stabmaster 5000 - a leather-plated beast wielding the finest of bronze pikes that has ever been forged, with a shield of wood purely to mock the Elf!  They clash immediately, and...what the hell is this?! quote:Derek Smart slashes Stabmaster 5000 in the right paw with his copper two-handed sword, tearing apart the muscle and bruising the bone!   This shoddy mechanical beast has faltered to Elven copper - and with steadfast determination like he were using a pick, Derek Smart takes the tip of his blade and rams it into Stabmaster's skull again and again and again, and soon, the metal frame of the mechanical Tiger Man gives way to oil and magma spilling from its frame. In the end, the Elf could never punch through it entirely beyond that first blow - but the Tiger Man simply ran out of fuel.     The winner is Derek Smart, by the opponent running out of fuel! And here's a demo on how to mine using a copper greatsword if anyone wants to learn!
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Aug 13, 2018 19:39
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I'll have Bordi laSord and Antipode's match up later today too!
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Aug 13, 2018 19:41
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my dad posted:gently caress it, if I find the time, I'll run a fight or two. Commish me. You have been commished.
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Aug 13, 2018 22:56
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Perform all necessary rites, present all grandest oblations.
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Aug 13, 2018 23:05
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I figured it wouldn't be a problem to commish user my dad, since there's no harm in him being able to see everyone's builds seeing as how he's probably going to win the whole drat thing anyway.
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Aug 13, 2018 23:17
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That's a bad dude of an elf
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Aug 13, 2018 23:23
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Jazzimus Prime posted:I figured it wouldn't be a problem to commish user my dad, since there's no harm in him being able to see everyone's builds seeing as how he's probably going to win the whole drat thing anyway. You didnt look at my build did you
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Aug 13, 2018 23:41
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What the gently caress Stabmaster 
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Aug 13, 2018 23:47
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It is always a sad day when a big boy falters to a puny elf.
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Aug 14, 2018 07:08
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 Welcome, one and all, to Gemclod Arena. Today's fight is... Oh, seriously, a dark gnome? Trying to take on a werewolf? Seriously? Ugh, let's just get this fight over with. *ehem* In the right hand corner, we have "A Vampire", legendary werewolf wrestler, showing up in his trademark iron armor, ready to tear his foe to pieces one limb at a time. And in the left hand corner, we have "Stabbers", a disgusting little dark gnome, bringing only a... wait, is that what I think that is?  COMBAT LOG
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Aug 14, 2018 19:21
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I'm... Sorry, what. What.
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Aug 14, 2018 19:27
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Steel beats iron. It beats it soundly apparently.
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Aug 14, 2018 19:28
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Astus posted:Can't wait for my dumb gimmick build to get brutally eliminated in the first round by a tiny gnome named Stabbers. Called it.
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Aug 14, 2018 19:50
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lmao
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Aug 14, 2018 19:54
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 Hello and welcome to the 1057 Armok League! On the left, we have Antipode, an Antwoman wearing nothing but steel! And on the right, we have Bordi laSord, a copper wearing Dwarf with an iron blade and wooden shield! Let the battle begin!  ...oh. That's a start! With heavy arms, Bordi slices through the exposed chitin of Antipode and their leg comes clean off! But miracuously, the Ant stays standing and they continue to trade blows...in a fashion.      With a one-sided fight that leaves Bordi unscathed, we have our winner! Combat log!
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Aug 14, 2018 23:36
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looks like our combatants are antsy for blood
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Aug 15, 2018 00:10
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| # ? May 25, 2024 17:07 |
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Some quick kills. Must be luck.
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Aug 15, 2018 00:13
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