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Scathach posted:Okay I have to admit I laughed at "duck...duck...greyduck!" "Duck Duck Gray Duck" is the variant of "Duck Duck Goose" played in Minnesota, because Minnesotans have a lot of Scandinavian ancestry and the original Swedish game was "Anka Anka Grå Anka". 
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Aug 15, 2018 02:46
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Solice Kirsk posted:Better than sending them to Burgenwald. Burgenau? Ugh why am I doing this
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Aug 15, 2018 02:47
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Parrots also live a ridiculously long time (some can live to be 80 or older) and sometimes get inherited by relatives when the owner dies which can be a real problem because parrots can be absolute cunts who scream like a banshee at all hours of the day, destroy everything they can reach with their beaks (which is everything in your house) and curse up a blue streak. I know I've told this story on the forums before, buy my two uncles were living together, and the older one was dying of end stage liver failure from being an alcoholic since the age of 14. He also had an African grey parrot which would imitate his voice incredibly accurately. Once he passed away, the younger uncle found himself in possession of a parrot that spoke in the voice of his deceased brother. The parrot found a new home pretty quickly after that, with some parrot loving people.
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Aug 15, 2018 03:18
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A turtle is basically an adorable living heirloom. A parrot is more like a curse on your bloodline.
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Aug 15, 2018 03:20
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Thomas Jefferson's parrot had to be removed from his funeral for cussing too much.
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Aug 15, 2018 03:27
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Aug 15, 2018 03:36
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Besesoth posted:"Duck Duck Gray Duck" is the variant of "Duck Duck Goose" played in Minnesota, because Minnesotans have a lot of Scandinavian ancestry and the original Swedish game was "Anka Anka Grå Anka". I didn't know anybody called it "Duck Duck Goose" until I was in my 30's. e: I also didn't realize that nobody else used "hot dish" until I was in my 20's. Moon Slayer has a new favorite as of 03:55 on Aug 15, 2018 |
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Aug 15, 2018 03:52
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This is actually pretty smart, because all the bad luck comes for you at once and jam each other up. Observe 
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Aug 15, 2018 04:41
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I had one of those Lucy burger things while in a layover at the Minneapolis airport earlier this year. As soon as I bit into it molten cheese and grease shot out of the pocket in the middle of the burger patty and burned my mouth and lips, and as I sat there in pain I realized that's pretty much the only way that could have gone. I have to assume that burger is some kind of prank Minnesota is playing on visitors, possibly as revenge for being stuck way up there in the middle of nowhere.
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Aug 15, 2018 05:17
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Knormal posted:I had one of those Lucy burger things while in a layover at the Minneapolis airport earlier this year. As soon as I bit into it molten cheese and grease shot out of the pocket in the middle of the burger patty and burned my mouth and lips, and as I sat there in pain I realized that's pretty much the only way that could have gone. I have to assume that burger is some kind of prank Minnesota is playing on visitors, possibly as revenge for being stuck way up there in the middle of nowhere. So what you're saying is the mascot is entirely accurate. Possible Goodbodying: 
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Aug 15, 2018 06:22
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Besesoth posted:"Duck Duck Gray Duck" is the variant of "Duck Duck Goose" played in Minnesota, because Minnesotans have a lot of Scandinavian ancestry and the original Swedish game was "Anka Anka Grå Anka". Someone list all the relevant points in this picture for a superstition-layman like me. He's underneath a ladder, there's a black cat, he broke a mirror, I'm assuming that's Friday 13th circled on the calendar, but I don't get the salt (?) and the umbrella
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Aug 15, 2018 07:04
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Opening umbrellas inside is unlucky. And spilling salt is unlucky unless you toss some over your left shoulder.
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Aug 15, 2018 07:08
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:I know I've told this story on the forums before, buy my two uncles were living together, and the older one was dying of end stage liver failure from being an alcoholic since the age of 14. He also had an African grey parrot which would imitate his voice incredibly accurately. Once he passed away, the younger uncle found himself in possession of a parrot that spoke in the voice of his deceased brother. Wasn't there a Pet Island thread called "Parrot Won't Stop Faking a Coughing Fit and Saying N****r" after someone inherited a parrot from a deceased uncle?
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Aug 15, 2018 07:27
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Took me a second to realize that bus wasn't 15 goddamn stories tall.
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Aug 15, 2018 08:33
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Is turncoat still allowed? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMSXuHoNIU4
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Aug 15, 2018 10:08
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Zipperelli. posted:Took me a second to realize that bus wasn't 15 goddamn stories tall. You're lucky. I saw it the other way and was looking all over for the funny bit. Scrolled back up, okay, it's a Say Nothing post so it's probably funny and I'm dumb. Hmm. Oh, right, if you tilt your head it kinda looks like the bus is 15 stories tall. 
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Aug 15, 2018 10:10
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Thomas Jefferson's parrot had to be removed from his funeral for cussing too much. Andrew Jackson
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Aug 15, 2018 10:44
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Zipperelli. posted:Took me a second to realize that bus wasn't 15 goddamn stories tall. And if you had taken another moment, you would have realised it wasn't a bus.
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Aug 15, 2018 10:44
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FreudianSlippers posted:A turtle is basically an adorable living heirloom. A friend of mine is on the 4th generation of tortoise owners. Her great-great grandparents had a tortoise from somewhere around the 30's and she's now taking care of it. It kicks it in her backyard doing nothing much more than eating carrots and lettuce as well as sauntering around.
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Aug 15, 2018 10:51
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DiggityDoink posted:A friend of mine is on the 4th generation of tortoise owners. Her great-great grandparents had a tortoise from somewhere around the 30's and she's now taking care of it. It kicks it in her backyard doing nothing much more than eating carrots and lettuce as well as sauntering around. What if tortoises are actually really bitter incels? Decade after decade of no chance to get laid, because you're a pet and your slow parade of owners never own an opposite sex member of your species. I mean, they don't neuter them, so those little guys still have their reproductive drive. Decade after decade of munching lettuce and humping shoes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_mIxTimgJ0
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Aug 15, 2018 10:59
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The mascot choice is going to be for a race that is held at every Minnesota Twins home game. The current racers are a fish, a mosquito, babe the blue ox, and spot, The Target mascot. It seems they are replacing one of those with one of... those. I guess I'd vote for the bobber. Knormal posted:I had one of those Lucy burger things while in a layover at the Minneapolis airport earlier this year. As soon as I bit into it molten cheese and grease shot out of the pocket in the middle of the burger patty and burned my mouth and lips, and as I sat there in pain I realized that's pretty much the only way that could have gone. I have to assume that burger is some kind of prank Minnesota is playing on visitors, possibly as revenge for being stuck way up there in the middle of nowhere. Jucy Lucys are horribly overrated, for the reasons you just described. I've never had one without thinking that it would have just been better with the cheese on top.
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Aug 15, 2018 11:28
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Malaysian-style burgers are where it's at. Instead of dripping all over, almost all the sauces are wrapped in a fried egg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FfRRRoXheo Pictures:  
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Aug 15, 2018 11:54
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Aug 15, 2018 12:31
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I'd like to remind posters that if their pictures aren't actually funny that we now have an appropriate thread for them to post in.
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Aug 15, 2018 12:36
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best of luck with your thread
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Aug 15, 2018 12:37
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Before anyone asks, thickened water / nectar is used by people who have swallowing difficulties (dysphagia - which is way more common than you might imagine) and physically can't swallow water.
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Aug 15, 2018 12:43
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robotsinmyhead posted:Before anyone asks, thickened water / nectar is used by people who have swallowing difficulties (dysphagia - which is way more common than you might imagine) and physically can't swallow water. Can this liquid help you down a hotdog? I know a goon who could use it.
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Aug 15, 2018 12:47
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Actually, I know what that's for. I have a step brother who was in a car accident when he was young, and it caused severe brain damage. He has very little muscle control thoughout his body, and can't chew food. As such, my parents will take whatever meal we're having, throw it in a blender, and add that to it to make it easy to swallow. If I didn't know that I'd think selling thick water was funny too. (I'm a pro-GG apologist. Rock on GG). Edit: beaten like my st- ok I made myself sad...
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Aug 15, 2018 12:52
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e:fb with an even sadder story Not sure why you think a bottle of what is essentially medicine is supposed to be funny. My grandmother had to drink thickened water 'cause she had trouble swallowing (dysphagia, as it says on the bottle there) after having a stroke. She was already really senile before the stroke, so getting food and water into her without her choking was a challenge on several levels. I was mostly shielded from it since I lived far away and only saw her on holidays, but my mom dealt with it every goddamn day for the better part of a year and I think she might have PTSD about it. So thanks for bringing up those lovely loving memories in the funny pictures thread. Paladinus posted:Can this liquid help you down a hotdog? I know a goon who could use it. This, on the other hand, is funny. Guy Goodbody take note; maybe you'll understand humor someday.
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Aug 15, 2018 12:52
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The MSJ posted:Malaysian-style burgers are where it's at. Instead of dripping all over, almost all the sauces are wrapped in a fried egg. Come on, the "Asian food is cats" joke is not funny anymore.  
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Aug 15, 2018 12:54
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robotsinmyhead posted:Before anyone asks, thickened water / nectar is used by people who have swallowing difficulties (dysphagia - which is way more common than you might imagine) and physically can't swallow water. Towards the end of my grandmother's life when she had dementia real bad and was really frail, she was on nectar consistency drinks. She hated it. I tried some, and I hated it too. We had a carton of some kind of powder that you could mix with any liquid to thicken it up, and there was some talk of making her a thickened martini because she really wanted one but I don't think anyone ever did because it was just too disgusting of an idea.
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Aug 15, 2018 12:59
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OK, even I'm willing to admit that picture was a misfire
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Aug 15, 2018 13:01
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Learning about it was mildly interesting though. This is why it's important to post in the correct threads.
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Aug 15, 2018 13:02
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Aug 15, 2018 13:28
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The MSJ posted:[timg]https://i.imgur.com/GnNAji8h. Loooooooooong looooooooooong caaaaats!
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Aug 15, 2018 14:02
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We got my mom that stuff when her Multiple System Atrophy affected her swallowing reflex. Helped to keep her from aspirating when she would drink.  Funny picture: 
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Aug 15, 2018 14:11
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could have stopped any one of these things, but
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Aug 15, 2018 14:15
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Megillah Gorilla posted:And if you had taken another moment, you would have realised it wasn't a bus. Ah gently caress me. The hell is it? A streetcar?
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Aug 15, 2018 14:40
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I don't think I can hang with the dirtiest dudes in town, sorry.
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Aug 15, 2018 14:50
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Zipperelli. posted:Ah gently caress me. A tram in Hong Kong.
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Aug 15, 2018 15:00
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