Oyvin Thorsby's fifth series: Trixie Slaughteraxe for President

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Oyvin Thorsby's fifth series: Trixie Slaughteraxe for President

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Android Blues: Nov 22, 2008

Let's just take a moment to appreciate that Thorsby drew the moose's intestines hanging out at their terminal point.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 08:37

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:06

Grogquock: May 2, 2009

What about all the innocent baby maggots!

# ? Aug 11, 2018 00:30

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

http://trixie.thecomicseries.com/comics/301

Just terrible

# ? Aug 13, 2018 07:35

Mister Olympus: Oct 31, 2011; Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

I would pay good money for a thorsby monster manual

# ? Aug 13, 2018 08:57

BiggerJ: May 21, 2007; What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.

Enter... stage right, even!

# ? Aug 13, 2018 09:22

Lotus Aura: Aug 16, 2009; KNEEL BEFORE THE WICKED KING!

Mister Olympus posted:

I would pay good money for a thorsby monster manual

You could probably make one for each webcomic he's done and every single one would be worth it.

# ? Aug 13, 2018 09:48

Pigbuster: Sep 12, 2010; Fun Shoe

Dr Christmas posted:

Sue Cannibalbulimia is certainly a name.

I genuinely wonder if we'll ever get an explanation for the names. I assume we won't and that's okay.

# ? Aug 13, 2018 10:05

Cat Mattress: Jul 14, 2012; by Cyrano4747

Mister Olympus posted:

I would pay good money for a thorsby monster manual

I have one.

quote:

"The Ultimate Creature Manual" by Arthur Hippoman. According to the back it contains information about every single monster in the world, and how to defend yourself against them. It is suspiciously thin.

>read 1
On the front is a badly drawn picture of three monsters running away from a man who is holding a copy of the book over his head.

>read 2
So, you have spotted a monster. How many legs does it have?
None: read page 3
One: read page 35
Two: read page 36
Three: read page 62
Four: read page 63
Six: read page 86
Eight: read page 87
Forty eight billion and five: read page 90
It varies: read page 91

>read 3
Which of the following body parts does it have?
Fins: read page 4
Branches: read page 8
Tentacles: read page 11
Arms: read page 14
None of the above: read page 29

>read 4
What kind of eyes does it have?
Ugly and yellow with black pupils: read page 5
Ugly and red with black pupils: read page 6
Ugly and white with no pupils: read page 7

>read 5
It is a Gnuga Fish. The large female Gnuga Fish will form in its mouth a surprisingly strong rope made from a sticky secretion created by glands in its throat. The much smaller male Gnuga Fish will then swim backwards into the female's mouth, where the rope will be attached to its tail. The female will then spit the male with great force onto land. If the male hits any creature it will bite. The male Gnuga Fish has a tremendous bite, its teeth accounts for half its body weight, and its jaw muscles for most of the other half. The female will then suck the rope, the male and the prey back into the ocean. If you see the male Gnuga Fish shoot towards you, your best chance is in hitting it back into the water with a frying pan or similar. If you do get bitten, you will not be able to remove the teeth or cut the strong rope. Instead you must pull the female Gnuga onto land before you are pulled into the water. On land the female cannot eat you, and both fish will die after a few hours. The dead male will fall off after a week or two.

>read 91
Why does the number of legs vary?
It keeps losing legs and growing new ones: read page 92
It's entire body keeps changing: read page 93
It depends on what creature it is possessing: read page 94

>read 94
It is a Demon. Almost impossible to kill, but if one possesses you often, just point out to it someone with a better body than yourself. The easiest way of communicating with your demon is writing a letter that you carry with you at all times until you get possessed. If you can find nobody with a better body, stop taking so good care of your own. Be warned that if you are a naturally happy person a demon might become addicted to you, and will use your body almost constantly. If this happens persuade it to join Possessors Anonymous.

>read 95
Other books by the same author:
The Ultimate Trap Manual: Learn all about spotting and avoiding lethal traps.
The Ultimate Magic Manual: Learn all about avoiding dangerous spells and curses.
The Otter Lover's Cookbook: 5000 delicious recipes involving otters.
How to Destroy a Golem: The definite work on golem destruction.

Coming soon:
The Super Ultimate Monster Manual: An even more complete guide to monsters.
The Ultimate Volcano Manual: Learn all about how to avoid those pesky burning mountains.
I, a Tender Flower: The moving novel of a young woman's discovery of her own sexuality and her troubled feelings concerning her lesbianism.

>read 96
The back of the book reads:
The Ultimate Creature Manual by Arthur Hippoman. This book contains information about every single monster in the world, and how to defend yourself against them. It is as easy to consult in the midst of action and treasure hunting, as it is delightful to browse in the comforts of your own home. The writer is himself an experienced hero, and has been involved in such adventures as the quest for the golden fleas, the raid of the city of wisdom, and the case of the missing shoe.

"Pretty darn good!"
Peter Robinson, famous adventurer

"A terribly (...) good (...) book."
Belinda Snuffthroat, Swashbuckler's Periodical

"Best book ever!"
Dorris Hippoman

# ? Aug 13, 2018 10:22

BiggerJ: May 21, 2007; What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.

The above is from Adventurer's Consumer Guide, an actual adventure game by Thorsby. It is very, very Thorsby. (Tip: unlike other games of its kind, you cannot EXAMINE anything. Just like in a Thorsby comic, you need to learn about how things work and what potential they have through experience. LOOKing, checking your INVENTORY, and actually using the products you're testing - including reading the book and talking to the goblin - will give you all the information you need.)

Thorsby's other games are Attack of the Yeti Robot Zombies, a game so fair that Thorsby requests that if your character dies, you should never play it again, and the official Unwinder's Tall Comics game, which is quietly a deconstruction of the Choose Your Own Adventure(TM) format. (Unwinder's Tall Comics' characters also include the creators of metafictional comic Powerup Comics. Yeeeeeees, that's right. It's metafictional.)

BiggerJ fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Aug 17, 2018

# ? Aug 16, 2018 13:04

BiggerJ: May 21, 2007; What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.

#302

Heavens to Murdertroyd!

# ? Aug 19, 2018 07:05

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

I can't believe I'm reading this for free.

# ? Aug 19, 2018 08:16

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

http://trixie.thecomicseries.com/comics/304

:sbahj:

# ? Aug 24, 2018 03:51

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

# ? Aug 24, 2018 04:37

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

Things just got really Thorsby, really fast.

If she dives, she can probably make it to that first frog statue. She could also get down by finding a way to hurt herself that's directly caused by the spell but isn't lethal.

# ? Aug 24, 2018 05:38

Grognan: Jan 23, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

how does normal objects interact with this poo poo? could she grab the dresser there and diagonally vector someplace?

# ? Aug 24, 2018 06:23

FAT BATMAN: Dec 12, 2009

As an avid fan of lateral thinking puzzles and trying to think of problems from different perspectives, Thorsby Puzzles like this make my brain hurt if I try to figure them out.

# ? Aug 25, 2018 07:50

Eeevil: Oct 28, 2010; Well obviously he didn't see it, or he'd be wearing a hardhat

I want Audrey to pull the bear zombie onto the frog's sword somehow, but it seems unlikely since the human zombie was just holding her with one hand.

# ? Aug 25, 2018 08:35

Lotus Aura: Aug 16, 2009; KNEEL BEFORE THE WICKED KING!

http://trixie.thecomicseries.com/comics/305

I can hear that sound in my head augh

# ? Aug 27, 2018 22:28

Grogquock: May 2, 2009

Grognan posted:

how does normal objects interact with this poo poo? could she grab the dresser there and diagonally vector someplace?

Nice work.

Grognan status: alive.

Grogquock status: dead after attempting to swing from door frame to frog statues.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 05:03

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

Grogquock posted:

Nice work.

Grognan status: alive.

Grogquock status: dead after attempting to swing from door frame to frog statues.

Sorry for leading you astray.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 05:47

Grognan: Jan 23, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

I'm feeling about as smug as audrey looks to be.

also slightly concerned that I managed to predict a thorsby

# ? Aug 29, 2018 06:25

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Grognan posted:

I'm feeling about as smug as audrey looks to be.

also slightly concerned that I managed to predict a thorsby

You managed to think like Thorsby and like Audrey. Dwell on that for a bit.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 21:24

BiggerJ: May 21, 2007; What shall we do with him? A permaban, perhaps? Probate him for a few years? Or...shall we employ a big red custom title? You, the goons of SA, shall decide his fate.

Dragonatrix posted:

http://trixie.thecomicseries.com/comics/305

I can hear that sound in my head augh

https://youtu.be/dijVbM9DpxU?t=3m6s

# ? Aug 30, 2018 05:27

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

http://trixie.thecomicseries.com/comics/306

This is going to cause a few headaches

# ? Aug 31, 2018 03:40

Fumaofthelake: Dec 30, 2004; Is it handsome in here, or is it just me?

Better than the alternative

# ? Aug 31, 2018 04:09

HBar: Sep 13, 2007

Synthbuttrange posted:

This is going to cause a few headaches

Yeah it's pretty garish but I like the psychedelic frog septon painting anyway.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 06:52

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Lyndon continues to be the worst. If he'd made it gravitate toward a wall it would've had a much harder time chasing them.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 13:56

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

super sweet best pal posted:

Lyndon continues to be the worst. If he'd made it gravitate toward a wall it would've had a much harder time chasing them.

Wait until it jumps then make it gravitate back out the door

# ? Aug 31, 2018 14:20

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

But then it probably "falls" to death, and depending on Audrey's position the magic being dispelled might kill her too.

Also I kind of love the idea of the elusive artist. Just a cat that loves to paint. I bet fantasy Bob Ross has a domesticated one.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 19:01

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

pacifist magic is such an awesome plot device

http://trixie.webcomic.ws/comics/307

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:02

Cat Mattress: Jul 14, 2012; by Cyrano4747

They should find a relatively fresh zombie animal, kill it, and bring it to artist to eat. Once the artist is sate, they can let it return to normal gravity and be on its way; if it's not hungry and not threatened it should just want to return to its territory.

But whatever is going to happen is going to be a lot Thorsbyer than that.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 10:51

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Protect the artist from what, though?

# ? Sep 3, 2018 19:08

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

They're going to adopt it. :3:

It'll be their new mascot.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 19:34

Cat Mattress: Jul 14, 2012; by Cyrano4747

Jon Joe posted:

Protect the artist from what, though?

From going back out and falling into the sky, for example.

And potentially from zombies.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 19:54

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Otherkinsey Scale posted:

They're going to adopt it. It'll be their new mascot.

That might be the messiest housepet in existence.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 20:57

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

cant cook creole bream posted:

That might be the messiest housepet in existence.

Can't cause more messes than Lyndon.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 16:01

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Otherkinsey Scale posted:

Can't cause more messes than Lyndon.

I hope he has the largest kill count by the end of the series.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 17:58

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Jon Joe posted:

I hope he has the largest kill count by the end of the series.

Ya know, that seems kinda likely, actually. Audrey gets denied her kills, or fights zombies, while he keeps causing pain and misery. Remember when he enchanted his scarf to kill his crazy ex?

Then again, this comic has been building up to a climax. This is the last time they try to earn money by chasing after something from that journal, so I doubt it will have many more chapters. Presumably, by the exponential growth of presidential candidates, they'll run out of citizens and potential vice presidents at some point.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Sep 4, 2018

# ? Sep 4, 2018 23:14

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

"And so on."

# ? Sep 7, 2018 01:25

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:06

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

It's going to be the indiscriminate disposal of zombies that loses the spell instead of the artist of Andrey causing problems, isn't it. One of them is going to hit a weird bird a hundred miles away.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 02:02

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Oyvin Thorsby's fifth series: Trixie Slaughteraxe for President

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