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Cassowaries are only deadly in video games. Through all of history one dude got killed by one and that's because him and his brother tried to beat it to death with clubs like idiots.
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Aug 18, 2018 15:31
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Moose are too dumb to realize they’re outmatched in a fight. If it scrapped with a cassowary it would fight until it’s burger.
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Aug 18, 2018 15:38
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The Zombie Guy posted:All hail the mighty Canadian Swamp Donkey. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been in real fear for my life. One of those times was when I accidentally got between a cow moose and her calf.
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Aug 18, 2018 17:20
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Could a hippo beat a moose?
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Aug 18, 2018 19:37
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verbal enema posted:Could a hippo beat a moose? What a ridiculous question. A hippo is just a hairless moose.
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Aug 18, 2018 19:42
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Antlers go in the mouth
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Aug 18, 2018 19:45
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verbal enema posted:Antlers go in the mouth https://i.imgur.com/dpdoR1r.gifv
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Aug 19, 2018 08:59
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The moose is definitely less likely to eat you later.
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Aug 19, 2018 09:17
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I think a moose could take a hippo until it turned around and unleashed the dreaded tail poop fan attack. Their biomes are so different though so it's probably never happened. I think the only things the predate moose are wolves, who use group tactics, and gently caress off big bears. It's a pretty small list.
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Aug 19, 2018 09:45
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Wolverines will happily devour an exhausted moose that's run itself into shoulder-high snow and can't get out.
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Aug 19, 2018 09:49
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I think wolverines are properly classified as some form of munitions though.
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Aug 19, 2018 10:07
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verbal enema posted:Could a hippo beat a moose? I'd go with the hippo. They're both prone to random acts of murder, but size matters and hippos weigh ~3500 pounds to a moose's ~1250.
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Aug 19, 2018 10:58
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Remember when there was an actual plan to import hippos to Louisiana swamps? Wish that had went through. If there's a thing swamps need it's another deadly animal.
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Aug 19, 2018 14:22
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Solice Kirsk posted:Remember when there was an actual plan to import hippos to Louisiana swamps? Wish that had went through. If there's a thing swamps need it's another deadly animal. It's like the weirdest alt history route you could go that I wouldn't mind seeing happen.
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Aug 19, 2018 15:52
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My God just imagine the gumbo. What does hippo taste like?
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Aug 19, 2018 16:17
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I'm imagining like a meatier manatee. The real question is what does manatee taste like.
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Aug 19, 2018 16:21
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Solice Kirsk posted:I'm imagining like a meatier manatee. The real question is what does manatee taste like. Like chicken
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Aug 19, 2018 16:40
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Please don't eat hippos they are my favorite animal
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Aug 19, 2018 16:52
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verbal enema posted:Please don't eat hippos they are my favorite animal We all know that you favor your mother over your father
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Aug 19, 2018 17:13
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Solice Kirsk posted:Remember when there was an actual plan to import hippos to Louisiana swamps? Wish that had went through. If there's a thing swamps need it's another deadly animal. Milo and POTUS posted:It's like the weirdest alt history route you could go that I wouldn't mind seeing happen. Oh boy do I have the book for you two. 
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Aug 19, 2018 17:44
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Solice Kirsk posted:Remember when there was an actual plan to import hippos to Louisiana swamps? Wish that had went through. If there's a thing swamps need it's another deadly animal. It is an amazing story.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:51
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Wax Dynasty posted:It is an amazing story. This is a long read but it's worth your time.
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Aug 19, 2018 18:58
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There’s also a Dollop about it.
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Aug 19, 2018 22:36
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Milo and POTUS posted:It's like the weirdest alt history route you could go that I wouldn't mind seeing happen. There have been a few plans (some more serious than others) to import big cats from the African tropical savannah to Australia, where we have basically the same conditions, plenty of large game animals they could eat and a distinct lack of the lawlessness that breeds poachers. I didn't know before reading an article about it that footage of a cheetah taking down a kangaroo was something I needed to see, and I'm now sad it almost certainly won't ever exist.
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Aug 20, 2018 02:07
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Be the change you want to see in the world.
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Aug 20, 2018 02:14
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Solice Kirsk posted:Remember when there was an actual plan to import hippos to Louisiana swamps? Wish that had went through. If there's a thing swamps need it's another deadly animal. There are feral hippos in the Americas. Pablo Escobar kept hippos on his ranch. After his arrest, they escaped into the Amazon and increased in numbers until there were more than 30. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/05/160510-pablo-escobar-hippos-colombia/
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Aug 20, 2018 02:48
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Beachcomber posted:Be the change you want to see in the world. What eats Canada geese and how soon can we import them to Michigan? I don't care if the answer is 20-foot venomous snakes, I'll take a dozen.
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Aug 20, 2018 02:49
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winnydpu posted:There are feral hippos in the Americas. Pablo Escobar kept hippos on his ranch. After his arrest, they escaped into the Amazon and increased in numbers until there were more than 30. These are the things you're supposed to do with literally all the drug money ever
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Aug 20, 2018 03:05
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Comptroll The Forums posted:What eats Canada geese and how soon can we import them to Michigan? I don't care if the answer is 20-foot venomous snakes, I'll take a dozen. And then you get some vicious lizards that eat the snake's eggs to kill them off. Then, just when it looks like you're going to be overrun by lizards, you import a certain species of lowland gorilla that eats the lizards. Then winter comes along, and all the gorillas freeze to death! Voila!
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Aug 20, 2018 03:10
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No the gorillas turn in to Yetis
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Aug 20, 2018 03:11
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I'm pretty sure the wolverines could handle the Yeti.
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Aug 20, 2018 03:23
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Leavemywife posted:I'm pretty sure the wolverines could handle the Yeti. Wolverine didn't do so hot against Wendigo, not sure why other mytical snow monsters would be any different
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Aug 20, 2018 04:50
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Looks pretty close.
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Aug 20, 2018 04:51
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What about Skunk Ape
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Aug 20, 2018 04:54
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Skippy McPants posted:I'd go with the hippo. They're both prone to random acts of murder, but size matters and hippos weigh ~3500 pounds to a moose's ~1250. Hippos are genuinely terrifying when angry and are one of the few animals who will fight to the death during mating season. Look at those goddamn jaws: 
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Aug 20, 2018 05:25
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So cute! 
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Aug 20, 2018 06:29
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What good could those teeth possibly do? They’re sideways for goodness’ sake.
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Aug 20, 2018 06:42
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They're for eating like a loving toddler
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Aug 20, 2018 07:01
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Ariong posted:What good could those teeth possibly do? murder
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Aug 20, 2018 07:05
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I saw an pamphlet a while back about what to do if you encounter various North-American wildlife, like maintain eye contact, walk slowly backwards, make noise etc. They all ended with "In case of attack, fight back", except for grizzly bear and moose, which was basically "lol you dead".
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Aug 20, 2018 07:50
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