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Alright, let's try this again, no ponies pls tia The person who sent in the rape confession I didn't post before sent in a followup. Basically the gist of it is that a woman flirted with him, brought him home, then changed her mind, and he didn't change his, and he was open about calling it rape but is apparently of the opinion that it was all her fault (he referred to her as nothing but "bitch") which sounds pretty trollish if you ask me. In the followup he was adamant he wasn't trolling the first time, was mad at me for not posting it, was apparently drunkposting, and unironically namedropped Dennis from Always Sunny to imply that he regularly intimidates women who take him home and then get cold feet (which I guess happens a lot?) into having sex with him anyway in fear for their own personal safety. Also he steals from them. I'm hesitant about posting it because the level of discourse in the thread was already low enough that it literally got closed, but I'm kind of short on content so I can post it if people really wanna see it. Washing my hands and outsourcing this decision to the thread. In slightly lighter news: quote:No one is going to believe me but I guess that's the point of this thread. Anyway, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I saw them on tv and thought that would be a fun thing to learn to do. I made my own puppet, but since I was a clumsy 11 year old, it was a piece of crap. My father, seeing that I was really interested in this, bought me a real, professional looking, and probably expensive proper ventriloquism puppet. Well made, fine controls, he was wearing a little suit. It was great. This is the part you won't believe. And you shouldn't. I swear to God the puppet could talk on his own. I swear to God. I swear to God. I'm not mis-remembering. It wasn't a fever dream. It wasn't some kind of prank. The puppet would insult my family when I was trying to do my act with it. It crept around at night and ruined my sister's stuff. I believe at one point it had violent intentions. A friend came and smashed it to pieces. spoooooooooooky Anyway if this is real my guess is you probably just made this up to cover for insulting your family and wrecking your sister's poo poo and gradually accepted it into your actual memory, like, believing your own story, but I don't know if there's an actual psychological basis for that so
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Aug 23, 2018 18:55
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Good timing for that fesh post. I just picture all ventriloquist dummies as Gabbo.
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Aug 23, 2018 19:01
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That fesh gave me Goosebumps
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Aug 23, 2018 19:03
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goosebumps is good as hell dont post the rapist
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Aug 23, 2018 19:04
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Don't post it, you don't even have to post such a detailed summary, just "some guy is jerking off to rape fantasies and wants you to fight about it so he can jerk off to that" is more than enough
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Aug 23, 2018 19:11
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i like nice words
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At any point did you oppose the Batman?
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Aug 23, 2018 19:11
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Might as well just skip even a summary of a rape confession
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Aug 23, 2018 19:46
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agreed.
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Aug 23, 2018 19:55
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Might as well just skip even a summary of a rape confession Yeah the Yacht episode wasn’t the best Dennis ep anyway. I preferred the one where he pretended to be a hippy and took E. Dennis is still a scumbag but it’s less “dirty feeling”. If it makes the fessher feel better he coerced Loq into mostly posting it and us into reading it. So you still Dennis’d your way to a partial victory over a bunch of anonymous dudes. I suggest the fessor download Grindr as it would be far easier and more fulfilling way to get your Dom on. Just offering help to a fellow goon.
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Aug 23, 2018 20:05
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There's a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode with a ventriloquist dummy who talked on his own and insulted people. Dude saw it as a kid and folded it into his own memories. Or something.
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Aug 23, 2018 21:21
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No I mean it’s literally a goosebumps book he took the name straight up lol
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Aug 23, 2018 21:24
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Bust Rodd posted:No I mean it’s literally a goosebumps book he took the name straight up lol I was a loving wimp as a child and goosebumps was 2spoopy4me so I didn't get this reference but it sounds about right yeah
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Aug 23, 2018 21:26
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A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:Though...that images touches some hidden place inside of me that...isnt often touched.... Weird What
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Aug 23, 2018 21:36
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Cat Army
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Slappy was in 4 episodes of the Goosebumps TV show from 1996 to 1998 as well
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Aug 23, 2018 21:54
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Ugh my 8 year old watches those and Slappy is just the worst.
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Aug 23, 2018 23:56
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loquacius posted:I was a loving wimp as a child and goosebumps was 2spoopy4me so I didn't get this reference but it sounds about right yeah hosed up, that means you missed the magic of reading the book where the protagonist starts growing hair on his arms and legs and his friends start slowly disappearing and by the end it's revealed the whole town's population of children were actually dogs turned into humans by scientists but it wore off and they all turned back into dogs
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Aug 24, 2018 00:14
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Are You Afraid of the Dark? was better.
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Aug 24, 2018 00:28
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AYAOTD was probably the scariest and also dumbest show on TV at the same time but so many people from that writers room went on to do big scary movies and it traumatized a generation of kids
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Aug 24, 2018 06:50
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Making scary TV for kids is actually a good place to learn your horror chops, because you can't rely on gore and shock the same as most horror movies degenerate into and have to actually work with psychology and atmosphere.
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Aug 24, 2018 07:26
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Two episodes will stick with me forever. The basement that ate people and the alien girl left behind.
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Aug 24, 2018 07:53
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Making scary TV for kids is actually a good place to learn your horror chops, because you can't rely on gore and shock the same as most horror movies degenerate into and have to actually work with psychology and atmosphere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFREs4GaJVU
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Aug 24, 2018 07:55
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Atlas Hugged posted:Two episodes will stick with me forever. The basement that ate people and the alien girl left behind. The ones that always stuck with me (provided we are still talking AYAOTD) are the Tale of Watcher’s Woods and this other one about a dollhouse that sucks you in and slowly turns you to porcelain. The latter was especially terrifying to me, at least conceptually.
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Aug 24, 2018 09:00
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Yeah the woods one was pretty memorable. Also the one about the thing in the pool. I wouldn't go into a pool at night for a while after that one.
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Aug 24, 2018 09:13
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burial posted:The ones that always stuck with me (provided we are still talking AYAOTD) are the Tale of Watcher’s Woods and this other one about a dollhouse that sucks you in and slowly turns you to porcelain. The latter was especially terrifying to me, at least conceptually. Yep I remember this one. There was a terrifying porcelain girl wandering around the house as well.
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Aug 24, 2018 09:24
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Breitbart Is Rightbart posted:Yep I remember this one. There was a terrifying porcelain girl wandering around the house as well. Yeah, that was the whole thing, I think. This girl was visiting the area and her local childhood friend was missing. She (the friend) had been captured by the dollhouse and mostly turned into a doll, which she got lured into as well in the course of her investigation. They both got out at the end though. burial fucked around with this message at 09:37 on Aug 24, 2018 |
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Aug 24, 2018 09:34
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I was put off the horror genre for years because that's what I expected it to be. It wasn't until years later that I discovered it was mostly schlock.
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Aug 24, 2018 09:45
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Reading (most) horror novels written for adults is a revelation in how schlocky and awful the genre tends to be, and how much better a lot of the horror being marketed to kids in the 90s actually was, even disposable stuff like Goosebumps. I read some Richard Laymon I got at a church fete for like 20p per book recently, and hoo boy. Both the novels are feverish messes written with the vocabulary of a particularly smutty child. One of them feels like half a book that just ends, with the final scene involving the protagonist's girlfriend exegetically dying off-screen so that the protagonist can get with some random lady he fell in love with after one conversation. They're also ludicrously pornographic. One of them, Beast House, is about scary Innsmouth-style fishmen who rape people, and it goes on and on about the fishmen raping young nubile women with their powerful penises in a way that at once manages to feel like Laymon is jerking off to it, and to be incredibly clinical and unevocative. Give me The Haunted Mask over that skeevy garbage any day.
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Aug 24, 2018 11:35
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does House Of Leaves count as an adult horror novel because I read that when I was maybe 20 and staying at a house I'd never been to before and at times was irrationally afraid that the house was going to kill me
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Aug 24, 2018 13:00
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Nearly all good horror, especially psychological horror, builds on common experiences and ideas like that where the human imagination only needs a little prodding to create all the fear it needs.
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Aug 24, 2018 13:15
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Yes, and I should make the caveat that there's a lot of good horror out there, and I'm a huge horror fan. Just that as a kid, you kinda figured, "ah, horror is about psychologically upsetting things, not just people getting exploded so their guts fly everywhere," when actually there are a million and one terrible adult horror novels out there that are entirely about people getting exploded so their guts fly everywhere, written at a sub-Goosebumps reading level. Also, so many adult horror novels that are packed with sleazy, masturbatory sex scenes that are both laughably clunky and viscerally upsetting (but not in the way the author intends them to be).
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Aug 24, 2018 13:17
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I had kinda the opposite experience, 'horror' seemed to mostly be mean-spirited schlock and it wasn't for a while I realised there was more complex stuff in the genre than teenagers getting ripped to bits. I was never big on it.
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Aug 24, 2018 13:41
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loquacius posted:does House Of Leaves count as an adult horror novel because I read that when I was maybe 20 and staying at a house I'd never been to before and at times was irrationally afraid that the house was going to kill me House of Leaves is a perfect example of psychological horror. It’s downright spoooooooopy but also has lots to sink your teeth into. The are you afraid of the dark that always stuck with me was a late S3 episode where a girl gets into a prestigious acting academy and the headmistress STEALS ALL THE GIRLS FACES AND PUTS THEM IN A loving BOOK.
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Aug 24, 2018 13:54
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I had kinda the opposite experience, 'horror' seemed to mostly be mean-spirited schlock and it wasn't for a while I realised there was more complex stuff in the genre than teenagers getting ripped to bits. I was never big on it. The difference appears to be whether you "cut your teeth" on teen horror movies (your Screams and your Last Summers and whatnot) or on actual kids' stuff that literally cannot feature anyone getting stabbed to death in the shower Bust Rodd posted:House of Leaves is a perfect example of psychological horror. It’s downright spoooooooopy but also has lots to sink your teeth into. Honestly I wasn't trying to be snarky in bringing it up, I legit didn't know whether it "counted" as horror as someone not really into the genre, largely because it was mostly satirical literary criticism of a satirical investigative documentary (aka the same kind of pretentious bullshit I usually read)
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Aug 24, 2018 13:59
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Scream super rules, and actually is pretty smart. Honestly, I'd say that even teen slasher movies tend to be more cerebral and more restrained than some of the stuff you get picking up random horror paperbacks from the 70s and 80s. You'll find some gems, and a lot of stuff that feels like someone writing nauseating snuff erotica.
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Aug 24, 2018 14:03
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Scream is amazing, but specifically because it's a breakdown of the genre tropes. It's still highly entertaining even if you don't know anything about the slasher genre, but there's a lot of meta commentary going on.
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Aug 24, 2018 14:44
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Atlas Hugged posted:Scream is amazing, but specifically because it's a breakdown of the genre tropes. It's still highly entertaining even if you don't know anything about the slasher genre, but there's a lot of meta commentary going on. Yeah exactly. It's a seminal work! It's very specifically pulling apart and criticising the teen slasher movie rather than joining in on the bloodbath. It's super post-modern.
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Aug 24, 2018 14:47
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Scream is a GOOD deconstruction because it doesn't beat you over the head with its deconstruction. It can viewed 1:1 as a regular slasher flick but anone whose ever watched a horror movie beforehand will immediately understand what they are seeing. Cabin in the Woods, while an enjoyable film, is a BAD deconstruction because the movie basically keeps turning to the camera and winking the whole time until it becomes a much weirder movie.
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Aug 24, 2018 15:17
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non-anonymous confession: I enjoyed Scary Movie more than Scream. Probably because I watched it first (more likely: my horror movie opinions are just terrible).
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Aug 24, 2018 15:19
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Cabin in the Woods is fun but a lot of it is more like this blunt literalist thought experiment than an exploration of subtext and theme like Scream is. It's like it observes the film crit notion that schlocky horror movies tend to have certain character archetypes being punished, rewarded or endangered in ways that reflect social mores and neuroses, and then is like, "what if that was an explicit thing in-universe, but forget all the stuff about society, instead it's because of a blood magic ritual? And of course you'd need a whole underground conspiracy to make sure the blood magic ritual comes off right!". It has almost nothing to say thematically as a result, it's like a weird playground-y response to deconstruction. It's fun though, and while the film itself isn't that deep, the fact that it has this almost intentionally shallow relationship with the film criticism that enabled its premise is interesting in itself. It's like new genre spawning out of post-modern response to old genre.
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Aug 24, 2018 15:24
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I've been thinking about doing a big horror movie post, wife and I have been watching so many recently there are a surprising number of good ones between Netflix and Amazon Prime.
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Aug 24, 2018 15:30
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