Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

An outlaw country song about breaking the rules at your yacht club.

# ? Aug 27, 2018 20:19

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# ? May 12, 2024 17:47

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

An outlaw country song about breaking the rules at your ~~yacht~~ country club.

or is that the joke

# ? Aug 27, 2018 20:27

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

A friend says, "Let's play 'the floor is lava!'" I hesitate for a moment, and then say, "I'm gonna sit this one out, friends. I don't want to risk it after what happened to my mother's back."

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Aug 27, 2018 21:44

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Manifisto posted:

or is that the joke

ohhh i like your version way better. I was just thinking of rebel art/counterculture deployed in situations where it doesn't really make sense.

# ? Aug 27, 2018 22:14

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

ohhh i like your version way better. I was just thinking of rebel art/counterculture deployed in situations where it doesn't really make sense.

Yacht club is way more authentic to country music.

# ? Aug 27, 2018 22:37

Dungeon Ecology

this isn't really a joke but just a funny thing i observed at the lake house this past summer

we were hanging out beachside and there was this speed boat going by dragging a water skier, with girls wooing, and blasting 'fight for your right to party' on loud speakers and just generally having a great time.
and not 30 minutes later the same boat came back the other direction in a decidedly more somber speed, no wooing, but they were blasting 'hold me closer tiny dancer' at the same level and it left me thinking

"man, what happened at that party?"

# ? Aug 27, 2018 22:52

Abugadu: 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Knocking over a bunch of furniture because you were sneaking in quietly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzYoyvHbaws

# ? Aug 28, 2018 01:30

Abugadu: 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Dungeon Ecology posted:

this isn't really a joke but just a funny thing i observed at the lake house this past summer

we were hanging out beachside and there was this speed boat going by dragging a water skier, with girls wooing, and blasting 'fight for your right to party' on loud speakers and just generally having a great time.
and not 30 minutes later the same boat came back the other direction in a decidedly more somber speed, no wooing, but they were blasting 'hold me closer tiny dancer' at the same level and it left me thinking

"man, what happened at that party?"

You may have to fight for the right to party - but once you get that right, you get complacent. You forget the struggle, the turmoil. And it happens across all spectrums. After a 12-year battle to get cats the right to vote, the cat voter turn out for our local election this year? Down to 0%. Some say 'oh there were no cat candidates' or 'they're just single-issue voters' but it's just a different Instagram filter on a sad picture.

# ? Aug 28, 2018 01:37

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Abugadu posted:

You may have to fight for the right to party - but once you get that right, you get complacent. You forget the struggle, the turmoil. And it happens across all spectrums. After a 12-year battle to get cats the right to vote, the cat voter turn out for our local election this year? Down to 0%. Some say 'oh there were no cat candidates' or 'they're just single-issue voters' but it's just a different Instagram filter on a sad picture.

She's buying a stairway to heaven observing all local ordinances and safety regulations and is concerned about the increased expense

# ? Aug 28, 2018 07:41

TalkingBasically

that's a thing

# ? Aug 28, 2018 08:55

Twenty Four

Taking the escalator to hell, or maybe the lazy river tube ride to purgatory.

# ? Aug 28, 2018 10:50

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Twenty Four posted:

Taking the escalator to hell, or maybe the lazy river tube ride to purgatory.

bobbing along in the lukewarm water on this partly overcast day, "Afterlife is pretty alright with me."

ETA:
This may be the redneck equivalent of the sumerian house of the dead. Instead of being in a dusty cave, you're in a muddy river with red clay banks and there's a cicada drone for all eternity as the day eternally hovers on the cusp of dusk.

# ? Aug 28, 2018 14:04

Farecoal: There he go

bad versions of presidential campaign slogans

�I enjoy Ike�

�Not just peanuts. Almonds too!�

�In your Spleen you Know he�s Keen�

�A Chicken in Every Pot and a Chicken in Every Garage. Chickens everywhere�

# ? Aug 28, 2018 14:52

Twenty Four

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

and there's a cicada drone for all eternity

no no no no no!

# ? Aug 28, 2018 14:56

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

We've nearly made it to page 69, the nicest of pages, and perhaps the fated end of this long ramshackle journey.

# ? Aug 28, 2018 15:59

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

taking my kids to the petting cryptozoo. they�re excited to feed the Bigfoots, maybe pet the thunderbirds

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# ? Aug 28, 2018 16:07

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

An evil villain is menacing his team of subordinates, but housekeeping is trying to get at his wastebasket under his desk the whole time.

# ? Aug 28, 2018 20:16

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

An evil villain is menacing his team of subordinates, but housekeeping is trying to get at his wastebasket under his desk the whole time.

this owns

sounds like a Mitchell and Webb sketch

# ? Aug 28, 2018 23:22

Twenty Four

A solar powered black light with no battery that only works in direct sunlight.

# ? Aug 29, 2018 12:20

Harold Fjord

Farecoal posted:

bad versions of presidential campaign slogans

�I enjoy Ike�

�Not just peanuts. Almonds too!�

�In your Spleen you Know he�s Keen�

�A Chicken in Every Pot and a Chicken in Every Garage. Chickens everywhere�

"Nixon's one of 'em!"

# ? Aug 29, 2018 13:33

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

After much prayer and deep reflection, I have decided to step up, so that I may spend less time with my friends and family.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:40

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Watching my first born pack for college, "I'm really going to miss your lawn work, sweetie."

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:41

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

tink tink tink, "Thank you all for coming and thank you, Steve and Carroll, for allowing me the honor of first toast at your reception. I've known Carroll for a long time and let me just say, 'Thank you for coming.'"

Sits down. Eats shrimp.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:42

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

"Son, I think it's time we finally had the talk. Can you tell me what the gently caress Fortnight is?"

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:43

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

After twenty years of teaching I've learned one big thing: Penmanship does not matter. You think it will, but it never does. Big waste of time for all of us.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

I would like to thank the Academy and no one else. I and I alone did this, I could have done it without all of you. Especially my mom. I did it to spite you, Mom! *music starts* OH there's just too many, I hate you all. *hoists trophy* I and just me did it!

# ? Aug 31, 2018 02:48

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

things

lol

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 31, 2018 03:23

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

thread where we are the population of an isolated town where a backpacker has gone missing and every post is a cryptic, foreboding remark we make to the people who come searching for their missing friend

# ? Aug 31, 2018 05:41

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Cubone posted:

thread where we are the population of an isolated town where a backpacker has gone missing and every post is a cryptic, foreboding remark we make to the people who come searching for their missing friend

Make it

# ? Aug 31, 2018 06:21

Dungeon Ecology

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A TEXTBOOK ONTO THE DESK. IT�S INTRO TO PSYCHOLOGY TENTH EDITION AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START STUDYING THE HUMAN MIND ALONGSIDE WITH THE PUBLISHER, W. W. NORTON & COMPANY. I READ EVERY KEYWORD AND I READ EVERY KEYWORD HARD. MAKIN THOUGHTFUL NODS WHEN I PARSE SOME KNOWLEDGE OR EVEN WHEN I HIGHLIGHT TEXT. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY MEMORIZED HUMANITYS MOST FUNDAMENTAL HIERARCHY. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE SUPPORTIVE COLLEAGUES. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE PERSONALITY TYPES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY DORMROOM LESS LONELY BY DIAGNOSING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

# ? Aug 31, 2018 08:59

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Cubone posted:

thread where we are the population of an isolated town where a backpacker has gone missing and every post is a cryptic, foreboding remark we make to the people who come searching for their missing friend

i'll be lookin for you tonight

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# ? Aug 31, 2018 09:14

take the moon: by sebmojo

some hipster with an undercut and a vegan latte listening to a half time drums version of a song at 1.25x speed: i've done it. the perfect listen

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# ? Aug 31, 2018 22:29

The X-man cometh

Cubone posted:

thread where we are the population of an isolated town where a backpacker has gone missing and every post is a cryptic, foreboding remark we make to the people who come searching for their missing friend

Well, that would be downright un-neighborly.
(Mutters "we aren't neighbors" under his breath).

# ? Aug 31, 2018 23:27

Dungeon Ecology

lol frat party but with la croix

# ? Sep 1, 2018 07:58

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

In one room, the bros and their natty: "Chug, chug, chug."

In another room, their grams and their tea: "Sip, sip, sip."

# ? Sep 1, 2018 13:19

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Slathering myself in marmalade to stick it to the man.

# ? Sep 1, 2018 15:35

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Plopping down in the display living room at Ikea, "Welcome to a mockup of my lair."

Jim Walters, Budget-conscious villain.

# ? Sep 1, 2018 15:37

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

"Lower him into the raccoon pit."

# ? Sep 1, 2018 15:38

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

sebmojo posted:

Make it

idk how to make a thread with that joke there's too many words

# ? Sep 1, 2018 17:17

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# ? May 12, 2024 17:47

take the moon: by sebmojo

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Slathering myself in marmalade to stick it to the man.

heh

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 1, 2018 17:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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