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there wolf posted:Some people have lovely parents, though. Create paid parental leave, mandated it for both parents, and subsidize daycare. And while we're making wishes kill the fight over reproductive rights. Make birth control free and available to every person over 14, and abortions legal and easy to access. Give women the power to control their fertility and watch their productivity explode. In addition to a period of paid parental leave, there should also be a corresponding much longer period of unpaid parental leave which can be taken optionally. Yes, the parent might not be getting paid during that time, but they have a guarantee their career can continue if/when they choose to do so at the end of the unpaid leave period.
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Aug 30, 2018 16:28
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I took three weeks unpaid leave when my second son was born and then I was back at it. When my first son was born I took one week unpaid leave because that’s all I could swing. Now I pay thousands a month to put them both in daycare/preschool and I cannot wait until the day they’re both in public school.
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Aug 30, 2018 16:55
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HEY NONG MAN posted:I took three weeks unpaid leave when my second son was born and then I was back at it. My company just launched a new paid leave policy: Primary Parents get 12 to take immediately, non primary get 4 to take in first year. They did this three weeks before my son was due. Not looking forward to the cost of two in daycare -2k
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Aug 30, 2018 17:06
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The hosed up part about having two or more kids in daycare simultaneously is that it quickly becomes evident that you can have a dedicated nanny for the same price or less. The drawback is that you lose all the socialization and problem solving skills that come with being forced to interact with a dozen other kids, some of whom are complete and total assholes (because they have lovely parents).
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Aug 30, 2018 17:14
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That's not completely true. Some kids are just lovely, period. It's not always the parents' fault.
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Aug 30, 2018 17:22
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Respectfully disagree based on my anecdotal experience. Of the hand full of kids that my own kids dislike being around, in 100% of the cases their parents are also unbearable shitheads.
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Aug 30, 2018 17:24
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HEY NONG MAN posted:Respectfully disagree based on my anecdotal experience. Of the hand full of kids that my own kids dislike being around, in 100% of the cases their parents are also unbearable shitheads. I’ve known some lovely people with terrible children as well. The common factor is not letting kids burn off excess energy by dumping them in front of some sort of technology when they get home. You would be staggered at the number of times I’ve sat there internally screaming while parents absolutely insist that their kids have ADHD, when it’s perfectly obvious that what the kid needs is to be involved in some sort of sport. Happily running/football/American football works great for both ADHD and terrible parenting so I don’t have to externally scream at them as well.
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Aug 30, 2018 17:32
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Or just give them a tricycle and some space. And/or a trampoline. Running around in circles screaming was some of my fondest childhood memories.
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Aug 30, 2018 18:29
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Fenced in yard with some tires.
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Aug 30, 2018 18:32
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learnincurve posted:I’ve known some lovely people with terrible children as well. The common factor is not letting kids burn off excess energy by dumping them in front of some sort of technology when they get home. Yeah a little CTE really takes the edge off a kid 
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Aug 30, 2018 18:34
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Or just give them a tricycle and some space. And/or a trampoline. Running around in circles screaming was some of my fondest childhood memories. BUT THAT ISN'T EDUCATIONAL
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Aug 30, 2018 18:53
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My first kid started Kindergarten in July. Where I was in my career when I had him to where I am now that he is out of daycare is completely different. I don't know what I would have done being out of work for 5 1/2 years. I just had our second kid a couple weeks ago and I'm on maternity leave now. We at least got a 3 month break from daycare bills.  My friends without kids are absolutely shocked that I have to use my sick time to pay for maternity leave and I am only allowed to do it for 6 weeks. I have to take 2 weeks unpaid. I also like to point out that despite having medical insurance I'll most likely be getting a couple thousand dollar bill in the mail soon for my less than 48 hour stay at the hospital on top of losing half a month of pay. ...and boomers wonder why millenials don't buy houses or have kids!
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Aug 30, 2018 19:04
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PT6A posted:Yeah a little CTE really takes the edge off a kid That’s really quite close to the mark, I forget the stats but a huge number of top NFL footballers had ADHD as a kid. (Fake edit: FYI this is my old job I actually quit to be a ASD disability carer over a year ago and am much happier now) If I tell somone to take their kid to the park more they lie to me and tell them they do that already every day, and then start taking their kid to the park, about five times and then they realise that parks are boring for adults. I give them a list of local sports they can do and get the kid all over exited about one of them then it gives the parent a “my kid does running” identity. If for some reason that fun activity does not happen then I absolutely guarantee you that in the next meeting the kid will grass their parents up in the first two minutes. A well timed “Well if you don’t have the time then that’s not a problem, I can contact children’s disability social services and we can talk about setting up more support if you feel you can’t cope” does wonders.
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Aug 30, 2018 19:08
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I wish my kid got more physical activity. We do our best, but its hard this time of year when the heat index is in the triple digits. I'd be fine if Kindergarten was just them running around a room for half the day. My kid only does PE for a week one week out of the month. I found out recently that they aren't allowed to run in the gym, they have to walk. What the gently caress?
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Aug 30, 2018 19:17
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HEY NONG MAN posted:The hosed up part about having two or more kids in daycare simultaneously is that it quickly becomes evident that you can have a dedicated nanny for the same price or less. may I suggest living in a city where there are lots of nannies, many of whom have friends who are nannies? get a nanny with nanny buddies, then your kids hang out with all the other nannies and their charges. and also go to lots of events and playgrounds where they interact with even more kids and nannies? The extremely small scale version of this is to have a nanny-share
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Aug 30, 2018 19:40
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oh no, is my secret wish that SA had parenting subforums showing?
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Aug 30, 2018 19:40
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learnincurve posted:Ok that’s just loving nuts pricing. We pay about £4.50 an hour here ($5.80) works out at £448 ($575) a month and there are massive government subsidies https://www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs/free-childcare-2-year-olds And that is still more expensive than it is in Norway.
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Aug 30, 2018 21:06
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Scandinavian countries in general have far more of a common sense approach don’t they? I have a long story about my mother trying to introduce women’s lib to Russia in the early 70s by sneaking in there. It ended up with the KGB having to have a little chat with them about how not only were they lunatics but also no really Russia does not need women’s lib, the women are already exactly equal with the men and those women this group spoke to genuinely feel sorry for the western women now, so thank you for that (now get back on this plane and gently caress off) Scandinavia always reminds me of this story.
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Aug 30, 2018 22:35
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Alterian posted:I wish my kid got more physical activity. We do our best, but its hard this time of year when the heat index is in the triple digits. I'd be fine if Kindergarten was just them running around a room for half the day. My kid only does PE for a week one week out of the month. I found out recently that they aren't allowed to run in the gym, they have to walk. What the gently caress? My guess is that some kid got a minor injury doing something and the parents sued. With how lawsuit happy America is these days I'm shocked kids aren't required to wear helmets in school.
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Aug 31, 2018 00:20
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ToxicSlurpee posted:With how lawsuit happy America is these days I'm shocked kids aren't required to wear helmets in school. "there is too many lawsuits!" is the trumpian "too many regulations!" repackaged for concerned parents. If you actually look up why america has so many lawsuits it's because very few things are enforced by enforcement officers like in other countries, in the US if like you are disabled and a place is flagrantly not accessible it's not like a normal country where there is someone you can call and have them get that fixed, it just gives you an opening to sue. Businesses have a concerted effort to convince you there is too many lawsuits and something needs to be done to remove individual powers against businesses.
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Aug 31, 2018 00:26
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Okay then, what should be done about schools where children cannot run in phys ed class? I'm not certain it's because of lawsuits, but whatever the motivation, it's really goddamn stupid.
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Aug 31, 2018 00:51
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PT6A posted:Okay then, what should be done about schools where children cannot run in phys ed class? Grandpa, how'd you get on the internet Where are your pants
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Aug 31, 2018 01:06
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Universal health care would be a good start. It might not even necessarily be the hypothetical kid's parents that sued--health insurance companies will sue to try and recoup money they spent on injury medical costs under a process called subrogation.
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Aug 31, 2018 01:06
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PT6A posted:Okay then, what should be done about schools where children cannot run in phys ed class? That is not a widespread thing and sure sounds a lot more like a wacky thing some game of telephone generated than an actual implemented policy. Talking frequently to parents from schools the gap between what parents tell you they think school policy is and what school policy is tends to me a million miles wide and largely generated by nonsense. "DID YOU KNOW! Someone sued the school and now they can't run in PE class" seems like a thing on a mommyblog right next to "they make kids do muslim prayer in school :here is a photo of a hurricane drill:"
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Aug 31, 2018 01:11
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PT6A posted:Okay then, what should be done about schools where children cannot run in phys ed class? Is this actually a thing that exists? Sounds more like some fwfwfwfwfw chain mail poo poo
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Aug 31, 2018 01:12
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It is folly to expect all kids would be nice even with perfect parent. They are not fully grown after all and often simply not get when a thing is appropriate and when is not, for same reason they also can not tell liquid in cleaning bottle should not be drank same as liquid in juice bottle. Put simple is kids are just plain stupid for a long time. Bad parents can make a kid who just sits there and say and do nothing, but that is only because child is so scared of everything from abuse they won't do anything.
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Aug 31, 2018 01:19
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Raldikuk posted:Is this actually a thing that exists? Sounds more like some fwfwfwfwfw chain mail poo poo Well, I don't suspect Alterian to be lying: Alterian posted:I wish my kid got more physical activity. We do our best, but its hard this time of year when the heat index is in the triple digits. I'd be fine if Kindergarten was just them running around a room for half the day. My kid only does PE for a week one week out of the month. I found out recently that they aren't allowed to run in the gym, they have to walk. What the gently caress?
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Aug 31, 2018 01:28
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PT6A posted:Well, I don't suspect Alterian to be lying: Why in the world would you belive some extremely outlandish story about what schools do based on some guy on the internet saying it?  and then add your own weird part about "there was a lawsuit! I blame lawsuits for this thing I just heard about!"
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Aug 31, 2018 01:33
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There's also the fact that the real explanations for things like "PE is only one week every month" are usually boring and mundane, like the school not wanting to have a teacher on PE duty all month, or figuring it looks better for their statistics if kids are studying more instead of doing something that's not reflected on standardized testing, or whatever. It's ironically harder to drum up outrage about something like that than the fake poo poo people want to blame, like lawsuits.
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Aug 31, 2018 01:41
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If I was making guesses I’d bet the gym is the cafeteria or something and a 13 year old has decided they are a genius who is bringing down the system by complaining to their dad that the nazi school they go to can’t even run in the gym (during lunchtime) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 31, 2018 02:46
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ToxicSlurpee posted:BUT THAT ISN'T EDUCATIONAL I'm reminded of the r/relationships thread about a father noting that his wife kept turning absolutely everything the kids did into an 'educational' experience to the point where they never actually got around to having any fun, realising something might be wrong about when in school the teacher gave the kid some crayons and paper and the kid stared blankly at them and said "I don't understand what I'm supposed to be learning."
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Aug 31, 2018 05:32
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there wolf posted:Some people have lovely parents, though. Create paid parental leave, mandated it for both parents, and subsidize daycare. And while we're making wishes kill the fight over reproductive rights. Make birth control free and available to every person over 14, and abortions legal and easy to access. Give women the power to control their fertility and watch their productivity explode. But we couldn't possibly use tax dollars to better the lives of the people who pay them, that would take away from our goal to use them as a way to transfer that wealth to the elite.
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Aug 31, 2018 06:15
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there wolf posted:The thing is we already subsidize daycare for kids over a certain age through the public education system. We could do the same for babies and toddlers, or at least relieve a lot of the burden with paid parental leave and free diapers. You don't really appreciate the idea of "universal pre-k" until you are a working adult with a 4-year-old.
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Aug 31, 2018 06:42
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i am harry posted:You don't really appreciate the idea of "universal pre-k" until you are a working adult with a 4-year-old. I have two little boys under three. My 3yo is in daycare three days a week and the 1yo is there only one day a week. It still costs $600-700 a month and that's considered cheap. It's "only" 12% of my take home pay.
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Aug 31, 2018 13:06
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What gets me during these discussions is the childhood memories of my grandmother coming round to look after us or just randomly showing up to do my mothers ironing. The middle class people of my mother’s boomer generation who make/control the laws all had that, and when called out on it will mumble something about it being a different age and you have it better now, because “when we were children we didn’t even have carpet”. The boomer generation are completely unwilling to admit there is a gaping void in the childcare system, and are simply ignore the fact that it exists in the hope that it will go away all on its own. :/
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Aug 31, 2018 13:42
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learnincurve posted:Scandinavian countries in general have far more of a common sense approach don’t they? Wait 'til you learn about home care allowance: a stay at home parent can take care of their own kid(s) and the neighbour's kids too if they like, like a tiny daycare, and the government subsidizes this (because your kids aren't taking up space in a daycare).  Finns would go extinct in a generation if we had to pay 2000 euros a month for childcare Sulphagnist fucked around with this message at 16:46 on Aug 31, 2018 |
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Aug 31, 2018 16:44
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:Why in the world would you belive some extremely outlandish story about what schools do based on some guy on the internet saying it? Uh, I'm no theologist, but uh... aren't muslims all supposed to be facing the same direction (towards Mecca) when they pray?
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Aug 31, 2018 16:53
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Mister Facetious posted:Uh, I'm no theologist, but uh... aren't muslims all supposed to be facing the same direction (towards Mecca) when they pray? the same lawsuit that outlawed running and gym and made everyone get participation trophys changed it by spilling hot coffee on someone (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 31, 2018 16:57
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Mister Facetious posted:Uh, I'm no theologist, but uh... aren't muslims all supposed to be facing the same direction (towards Mecca) when they pray? You're one of them ivory tower liberal Muslim fascists.
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Aug 31, 2018 16:58
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ToxicSlurpee posted:BUT THAT ISN'T EDUCATIONAL poo poo like that is one of the most frustrating thing about working in daycare. Running around is educational.
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Aug 31, 2018 18:28
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