Pththya-lyi posted:

For all intensive purposes, this joke has gone on far too long

THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:

Ah yes, the aggressive customer database

Bobby Digital posted:

Good job guys. We Midas whale lock the thread now.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

In Australia they're finally developing a database of people who steal petrol and it's linked to licence plate reading cameras.

So, if you steal petrol in one place you may very well find yourself banned from getting fuel again.


NB, this obviously excludes people who get a new car, new plates, steal new plates, or just go to the majority of sites with no plate reading cameras.

Bobby Digital posted:

Good job guys. We Midas whale lock the thread now.

Bobby Digital posted:

Good job guys. We Midas whale lock the thread now.

jobson groeth posted:

For all intents and porpoises this has gone on long enough.

burial posted:

Ha. That’s interesting. Around here, most stations have cameras but but don’t actually bother to record anything (at least with the outside ones.) Somebody backed into my car WHILE I WAS LEANING AGAINST THE OTHER SIDE OF IT PUMPING GAS PETROL and drove off awhile back. The employee just kind of shrugged at me like asking him to check the tape was an alien concept.

Len posted:

At the one I worked at regular employees didn't have the option to go to the cameras and roll them back I believe it was a terminable offense.

Not that it mattered because we had 2 black and white cameras that had to cover the entire parking lot, all 12 pumps, so you couldn't see anything anyway

uvar posted:

No, the hoodie is important, it was one of the ones with the pocket on top of the head that's easily accessible while holding your hands up.

Not that it's worth picking specific holes in that story. Although, what would the police think if they were alerted to a school shooting and a student with a gun and a hostage approached them?

Trash Boat posted:

No wait but you see the only thing we need to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun mirror in their hoodie and also

burial posted:

Either way, I DO know that the employees have drive-offs taken out of their paychecks. Thanks, america.

Tunicate posted:

quote:

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.

2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.

3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as gently caress” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.

4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again

5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out

6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead

7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to gently caress off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard

8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.

9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals

10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks

11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped

12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home

13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near

15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again

16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds

Dixville posted:

Good Lord please stop talking about calendars

It seems more ridiculous that anyone would actually make a "20 year plan" and set actual dates for milestones like "wedding." I think that type of life planning stuff is dumb anyway, like are you just going to settle with whoever you have because it's time to get married on your schedule? Or be depressed because you're behind schedule? Relationships should develop naturally not be forced into a certain time frame. I feel like this is more of a thing with women, mostly to do with the actual time limitations of having children with someone. It's pretty short sighted though.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

And oh wow a coffee cup obeying the laws of physics. Has she never seen cups/whatever move "by themselves" on damp/wet tabletops?

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Coffee cups do not spin 360 degrees by themselves on damp tabletops. That is not a thing that happens.

quote:

13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

rudecyrus posted:

I believe this one if it took place in 1980.

Len posted:

In 2014 when I worked at a daycare with the 6-11 year olds they were still talking about Bloody Mary. That's just the eternal thing.

I of course had to tell then my Totally True Story of that kid who played Bloody Mary when I was their age.