Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Alexeythegreat posted:

Things like this is why you have a country-wide official language

# ? Sep 8, 2018 01:55

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 12:20

EwokEntourage: Jun 10, 2008; BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.

Alexeythegreat posted:

Things like this is why you have a country-wide official language

The only thing an official language would do in America would be making it easier for republicans to deprive minorities of their rights

# ? Sep 8, 2018 02:09

ulmont: Sep 15, 2010; IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

Mr. Nice! posted:

https://twitter.com/srl/status/1038109978182209539/photo/1

BTW it stays pissed.

quote:

Here we are again. The clock hits 6:00 a.m. Sonny and Cher�s �I Got You Babe� starts playing. Denizens of and visitors to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania eagerly await the groundhog�s prediction. And the state of Florida is alleged to violate federal law in its handling of elections.
...
Having balanced the equities, Plaintiffs� motion is GRANTED in part and DENIED in part.2 This Court is issuing this Order on an expedited basis to give the Secretary and the Scott administration ample opportunity to appeal if they seek to block their fellow citizens, many of whom fled after Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico, from casting meaningful ballots.

While lost on some, Puerto Rico is part of the United States. 8 U.S.C. � 1101(a).
..
The Plaintiffs brought suit in this Court on August 16, 2018. Plaintiffs are suing to enforce Section 4(e) of the Voting Rights Act in 32 counties (�the Counties�) that contain Puerto Rican populations but currently conduct English-only elections. They move for preliminary injunction and seek to enjoin Defendants to provide bilingual ballots, sample ballots, absentee and early voting applications and ballots, provisional ballots, voter registration forms, voting instructions, voter information, polling place notifications, and polling place signage, to all be created by a certified translator, and to ensure that all election information is digitally available in Spanish. ECF No. 2, at 31.

II

This Court first addresses Defendant Detzner�s motion to dismiss. The Secretary of State predictably attempts to evade federal jurisdiction by challenging Plaintiffs� standing, asserting sovereign immunity, and claiming Plaintiffs have failed to state a claim. ECF No. 42, at 3�15. These arguments are not persuasive.
...
Voting in a language you do not understand is like asking this Court decide the winner of the Nobel Prize for Chemistry ineffective, in other words. Courts have long held that the right to vote includes not only the right to physically enter a polling place and fill out a ballot but also the right to comprehend and understand what is on that ballot.
...
It is remarkable that it takes a coalition of voting rights organizations and individuals to sue in federal court to seek minimal compliance with the plain language of a venerable 53-year-old law. Due to the timeline of this lawsuit and the looming deadlines Florida election officials face, this Court does not order all of Plaintiffs� requested relief. Rather, it orders attainable compliance with Section 4(e). In doing so, this Court recognizes that some counties already provide some of the services this Court orders.

https://www.scribd.com/document/388085184/Walker-Ruling-97

EwokEntourage posted:

The only thing an official language would do in America would be making it easier for republicans to deprive minorities of their rights

Yup.

# ? Sep 8, 2018 03:04

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

ulmont posted:

BTW it stays pissed.

https://www.scribd.com/document/388085184/Walker-Ruling-97

Yup.

thanks, this is a thing of drat beauty.

# ? Sep 8, 2018 04:18

Feisty-Cadaver: Jun 1, 2000; The worms crawl in,
The worms crawl out.

quote:

While lost on some, Puerto Rico is part of the United States. 8 U.S.C. � 1101(a).

goddamn.

# ? Sep 8, 2018 15:04

echopapa: Jun 2, 2005; El Presidente smiles upon this thread.

Alexeythegreat posted:

Things like this is why you have a country-wide official language

Is Putin still trying to change everybody�s ethnicity into �rossisky� or is he too busy with the pension stuff?

# ? Sep 8, 2018 15:15

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Stalin getting rid of 3?4? Letters from the alphabet was 100% the right thing. Down with the letter c.

# ? Sep 8, 2018 15:52

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

EwokEntourage posted:

The only thing an official language would do in America would be making it easier for republicans to deprive minorities of their rights

that is point of government, da?

# ? Sep 8, 2018 15:57

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

e: wrong thread

# ? Sep 10, 2018 02:13

Sab0921: Aug 2, 2004; This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 05:57

EwokEntourage: Jun 10, 2008; BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

Yet they love Evilweasel

# ? Sep 10, 2018 06:36

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

poo poo

# ? Sep 10, 2018 07:15

algebra testes: Mar 5, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

o no

# ? Sep 10, 2018 08:28

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D

# ? Sep 10, 2018 09:20

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Point, Abugadu.

Also I don�t have clients. Or a firm. Win.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 11:31

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

ActusRhesus posted:

Point, Abugadu.

Also I don�t have clients. Or a firm. Win.

You represent the state though.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 14:13

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

FrozenVent posted:

You represent the state though.

And the State is responsible for all human failings, ergo

# ? Sep 10, 2018 15:01

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

EwokEntourage posted:

Yet they love Evilweasel

uh i think you'll find plenty do not :v:

# ? Sep 10, 2018 15:14

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Do my client's murders count towards my killstreak if they still end up in prison?

Kawasaki Nun fucked around with this message at 16:52 on Sep 10, 2018

# ? Sep 10, 2018 16:50

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Do my client's successful murders count towards my killstreak if they still end up in prison?

You have to get at least three in a row before they get locked up to call in a UAV

# ? Sep 10, 2018 16:52

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Yes.

It�s your fault for being willing to represent monsters. You should only defend innocent people. Also the state are evil bastard who only prosecute the innocent. Therefore none of your clients are guilt and you have no kills. I�m using DnD logic.

I�d post there. But I like not being banned.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 16:53

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Replace all police with guidance counselors and all guns with stuffed animals and replace all crime with hugs, you're welcome america

# ? Sep 10, 2018 17:35

Eminent Domain: Sep 23, 2007

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

Well gently caress.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 17:51

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

ActusRhesus posted:

I’d post there. But I like not being banned.

Not sure if history bears that out.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 17:53

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

Sab0921 posted:

I have unfortunate news - I have spent some time in D&D and it has come to my attention that all lawyers are responsible for the actions of all of their clients and also for every single other person at your firm, regardless of size.

Going to suck for the Crim Law and Big Law folks.

This is actually true but only applies to partners.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 17:54

nutri_void: Apr 18, 2015; I shall devour your soul.; Grimey Drawer

I got what I wanted and I'm practicing a real actual public international law thing
It's an individual project that I was called upon to do in an ad hoc-assembled team, meaning that it's not a full-time job... I'm still approaching 40 hours straight without any sleep. gently caress this

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:30

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Vox Nihili posted:

This is actually true but only applies to partners.

Whenever I hear an american say "partner" I can't help but think of a cowboy. Whenever I hear a scandinavian say it I can't help but think of a hairdresser named "Stefan". I guess both are mostly correct.

Anyway, in tragic news I've just finished my last bottle of Nikka Coffey Grain, so I guess there's nothing to it but forage for more. Meanwhile, this weekend at the cabin was nice but mostly consisted of painting. It's slow going, but we took the time to enjoy stuff too. Tried out my new camera phone as well.

Autumn is a nice time of year.

Nice piece of fish fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Sep 10, 2018

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:35

yronic heroism: Oct 31, 2008

ActusRhesus posted:

Yes.

It�s your fault for being willing to represent monsters. You should only defend innocent people. Also the state are evil bastard who only prosecute the innocent. Therefore none of your clients are guilt and you have no kills. I�m using DnD logic.

I�d post there. But I like not being banned.

Everyone says evilweasel�s a goon hero.

He�s not a goon hero.

He�s a hero because he got banned in D&D.

I like people who don�t get banned.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:37

yronic heroism: Oct 31, 2008

Tbh the average failson in D&D at least didn�t go to law school so who�s the real corncobs?

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:40

Hoshi: Jan 20, 2013

yronic heroism posted:

Everyone says evilweasel’s a goon hero.

He’s not a goon hero.

He’s a hero because he got banned in D&D.

I like people who don’t get banned.

This is a good one

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:09

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

I'm having a slow week, maybe I'll hop over to DND and try to swipe a proby for fun

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:13

EwokEntourage: Jun 10, 2008; BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.

blarzgh posted:

I'm having a slow week, maybe I'll hop over to DND and try to swipe a proby for fun

you can go argue with the idiot that keeps talking about murder 2 under Texas law

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:21

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

blarzgh posted:

I'm having a slow week, maybe I'll hop over to DND and try to swipe a proby for fun

You could always offer lowtax some pro bono service in defense of his pending hitler based lawsuit.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:32

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

Nice piece of fish posted:

Whenever I hear an american say "partner" I can't help but think of a cowboy. Whenever I hear a scandinavian say it I can't help but think of a hairdresser named "Stefan". I guess both are mostly correct.

I think this is the reason I hear so many lawyers, when introducing one of their colleagues, use the phrase "law partner," as in "This is Butters Cocksleeve, my law partner."

# ? Sep 10, 2018 23:01

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Phil Moscowitz posted:

I think this is the reason I hear so many lawyers, when introducing one of their colleagues, use the phrase "law partner," as in "This is Butters Cocksleeve, my law partner."

One of the interns I worked with this summer claimed the Dom/Sub BDSM contracts she and her friends sign off are essentially air tight and completely enforceable so I'm not sure what the distinction of law partner really offers

# ? Sep 11, 2018 01:28

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Dom/Sub BDSM contracts ... are essentially air tight

# ? Sep 11, 2018 01:29

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Airtight.

Heh.

# ? Sep 11, 2018 02:19

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Kawasaki Nun posted:

One of the interns I worked with this summer claimed the Dom/Sub BDSM contracts she and her friends sign off are essentially air tight and completely enforceable so I'm not sure what the distinction of law partner really offers

There's an interesting challenge.

How would you draft up a BDSM contract that is ~~in any practical way~~ in any loving way whatsoever enforceable.

I mean I suppose you could impose some sort of corporal punishment for breach of contract, but that would probably defeat the purpose.

# ? Sep 11, 2018 13:43

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

You couldn't make anything enforceable, but you could definitely make consent agreements that help disclaim you from liability due to injuries suffered during a session.

# ? Sep 11, 2018 13:46

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 12:20

Bro Enlai: Nov 9, 2008

Someone should tell this guy about your intern

https://twitter.com/legaladvice_txt/status/1037293571274170368?s=19

# ? Sep 11, 2018 16:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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