That DICK! posted:

when i was 17 my girlfriend was an elf I met on WOW who told me she had brain cancer and was dying and i cried throughout my high school graduation

BONGHITZ posted:

trumop

BONGHITZ posted:

FactsAreUseless posted:

*reads this*

What the gently caress is a lifestyle choice illness

twoday posted:

I used to think bonghitz was a bot, now I think bonghitz catches up on 200 pages of the thread in a single sitting while pressing “open in new tab” on anything they like and want to quote, and then upon finishing catching up resolves all those newly opened tabs in a row, mostly by means of empty quoting

BraveUlysses posted:

is there any context or lack of context when this cartoon doesnt suck rear end

tacodaemon posted:

here's an old joke from like the 1940s (I found it in a joke book from the 1940s)


Jim was a construction worker and he noticed that his coworker Sam was disappointed by the tuna salad sandwich he seemed to have every day for lunch.

On Monday, Sam would open up his lunchbox, look at his sandwich, sigh heavily, and say "Oh... tuna salad again."

Tuesday would roll around and it was the same story: again Sam would heave a heavy sigh upon opening his lunchbox. "Tuna salad again."

Wednesday and Thursday were the same. Open the lunchbox, let out a hearty sigh, and lament that it was, yes, tuna salad again.

Was Friday any different? No. By this point everyone on the construction site could see it coming. The heavy sigh, the sad refrain, "Tuna salad again."

The following week went the same way. And so did the week after that.

Finally Jim felt he had to intervene. "Sam," said Jim, "Obviously you don't like the lunches your wife packs for you... tuna salad every day! Shouldn't you tell her you'd like something else for a change?"

Sam looked back at Jim with a look of pained resignation and shook his head.

"You don't understand, Jim," Sam replied. "I pack my own lunch every day."

punchymcpunch posted:

yeh i tried to do that for a couple months last year

twoday posted:

I used to think bonghitz was a bot, now I think bonghitz catches up on 200 pages of the thread in a single sitting while pressing “open in new tab” on anything they like and want to quote, and then upon finishing catching up resolves all those newly opened tabs in a row, mostly by means of empty quoting

FactsAreUseless posted:

*reads this*

What the gently caress is a lifestyle choice illness

ShriekingMarxist posted:

tacodaemon posted:

punchy did you like the joke about the sad construction worker

shovelbum posted:

I miss that poo poo

I lived in basically EverQuest from 9th thru 10th grade and have stronger memories of it than of a lot of my hometown bc I moved for the last 2yrs of HS

DryGoods posted:

https://i.imgur.com/gtfwR95.gifv

punchymcpunch posted:

hows that joke go, taco

Schnorkles posted:

gonna throw out there that a person in the young professional network i'm a part of outright said "hey you and your wife should be swingers" and gave me a look and it was p. awkward.

punchymcpunch posted:

salmonella or rabies from bein a freegan

ShriekingMarxist posted:

lmao, a president so bad Woodward & Bernstein were like "we gotta loving saddle up and ride again baby"

cumshitter posted:

my ideal job would be comedy historian because ive done standup and frankly the way i express myself isnt suited for it

in my sophomore year of college when i was pursuing my english degree i was cracking books in the campus library when i found a scholarly article from the 30's that mentioned Molly jokes from the 1890's

molly was a term for irish maid, becuase they were the cheap immigrant labor of the time

and it was dumb poo poo that made lol hard af becuase im of irish descent and it was like

Q: Why do Molly's climb down the stairs backwards every morning?

A: Because they're used to descending from a barn loft when they get out of bed!

so many terrible prejudiced jokes lost to time. we will never understand past racism and ethnicism if we dont preserve them, like tears in rain trying to salt a potato

Schnorkles posted:

gonna throw out there that a person in the young professional network i'm a part of outright said "hey you and your wife should be swingers" and gave me a look and it was p. awkward.

a.lo posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/JacobAWohl/status/1038252227993845760

DryGoods posted:

https://i.imgur.com/gtfwR95.gifv

punchymcpunch posted:

hows that joke go, taco

Reality Pisser posted:

I made my dad take me to mortal kombat in the theaters, ama

tacodaemon posted:

punchy did you like the joke about the sad construction worker

juche avocado posted:

nasim........

Johnny Joestar posted:

a coworker once told me about a freegan who worked there for a short time in the dish pit and there was like a mushroom that had fallen on the floor and was sitting on top of the drain and this absolute fucker picked it up and ate it and apparently got one of the most displeased looks on his face that this dude had ever seen

anyways i don't undertstand freegans

Johnny Joestar posted:

a coworker once told me about a freegan who worked there for a short time in the dish pit and there was like a mushroom that had fallen on the floor and was sitting on top of the drain and this absolute fucker picked it up and ate it and apparently got one of the most displeased looks on his face that this dude had ever seen

anyways i don't undertstand freegans

Kilmers Elbow posted:

Nae! posted:

I probably have better memories of Azeroth than I do of high school, though I'm not sure if that says more about me or high school

Schnorkles posted:

gonna throw out there that a person in the young professional network i'm a part of outright said "hey you and your wife should be swingers" and gave me a look and it was p. awkward.

Nae! posted:

sounds like you need to enjoy yourself some mickface

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeoTdAHIV7M

Eat This Glob posted:

is loomer the one with the jewish boobs? is the rest of her jewish as well?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

white sauce posted:

Just her tits. The rest of her is 100% Nazi

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)