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Nessa, I’m super stoked and excited for you that you aren’t in that pain any longer! Enjoy your better functioning body and fingers crossed this is a long term solution for you!
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Sep 2, 2018 08:24
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That is heartwarming, glad to hear it worked!
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Sep 2, 2018 08:32
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Nessa posted:I think the antibiotics I took for bacterial vaginosis must have helped me a lot more than I initially thought. drat, woman - I've had some good sex in my time, but never so good I threw a party to celebrate. (Seriously, it's great that you're in regular working order again and good for the future now you know what was causing it.)
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Sep 2, 2018 08:43
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Ah mate, that is fantastic news! So glad you got things sorted! Enjoy the hell out of your husband and that tiramisu!
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Sep 2, 2018 14:36
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Jedit posted:drat, woman - I've had some good sex in my time, but never so good I threw a party to celebrate. Haha, we run a Meetup group and have parties at our house pretty regularly. I guess I just felt so ashamed and I never told any of my friends about my problems. Most of my friends are also my husband’s friends, so it would be awkward to bring up to most of them. Our friends know I started seeing an OBGYN for “fertility concerns”, but not the real reason. “Hey, we want to try for a baby soon, so I’m getting some things checked out, due to family history of infertility.” It was easier to tell people that after I had some ultrasounds and an HSG test that revealed blocked tubes. The doctor I was seeing also seemed to care more about fertility than the pain I was having. People would lightheartedly make jokes about sex and say how my husband and I are so cute together, and I’d just smile and nod as if we had a very active sex life and there were no problems whatsoever. Inside, I felt incredible shame. My husband and I made compromises with sexual activity, but he still often felt neglected and unloved because I would never initiate. I would never initiate because I had such a low sex drive, and I likely had such a low sex drive due to a combination of hormonal factors, and the fact that I anticipated pain. I also don’t know exactly how long I might have had that bacterial vaginosis infection. Now I know that it’s possible for me to enjoy sex again and actually feel like a sexual being again and that’s pretty great. Bollock Monkey posted:Ah mate, that is fantastic news! So glad you got things sorted! Enjoy the hell out of your husband and that tiramisu! I will! Speaking of pleasurable foods, does anyone else have particular foods that are oddly arousing? For me, it’s the aforementioned tiramisu, as well as salmon sushi.
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Sep 2, 2018 17:49
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If you don't want to have sex with that other guy, I wouldn't tell him about your sex life. I agree it's really emotionally important, and it's great to have people you can confide in, but a straight woman or a gay guy, or at least someone who doesn't want to gently caress you and you don't want to gently caress, would be a better call.
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Sep 2, 2018 20:28
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i like nice words
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Reading this thread is surprisingly heartwarming for once. Go Nessa! 
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Sep 3, 2018 08:25
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Anne Whateley posted:If you don't want to have sex with that other guy, I wouldn't tell him about your sex life. I agree it's really emotionally important, and it's great to have people you can confide in, but a straight woman or a gay guy, or at least someone who doesn't want to gently caress you and you don't want to gently caress, would be a better call. Oh, I’m pretty much over that idea. Just took me a few days, but I value the friendship an awful lot and wouldn’t want anything to ruin that. I’m not good friends with any gay men, and the one straight woman I’m close enough with would not want me talking with her about my current sex life, as she is also good friends with my husband. I think it would make her incredibly uncomfortable, and we don’t really talk that much privately anyways, so it would be extremely odd to bring up out of the blue. I did bring it up with the guy (no gory details though) and he responded that he’s happy I’m feeling better, said that my husband and I should know how to celebrate, that he wishes nothing but the best for us, and that he’s honoured I would take him into my confidence. He also mentioned that he had another female friend mention a similar problem she had, stemming from a UTI. It figures... people have compared him to a bartender. He’s a good listener and everyone is comfortable telling him their secrets. He made dinner and an apple pie for us yesterday and it was lovely.
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Sep 4, 2018 16:00
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I guess I’m a prude but a friends wife, even if a good friend, bringing up their sex life with me would be super uncomfortable especially without him around. I can’t imagine mine doing that wit one of my friends either - like where is the line drawn with sharing details of your lives?
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Sep 5, 2018 03:54
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Drilling my wife's cock canyon is a gently caress jamboree and I will tell the world of it.
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Sep 5, 2018 07:11
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Shine posted:Drilling my wife's cock canyon is a gently caress jamboree and I will tell the world of it. Perfect Avatar/Post combo
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Sep 5, 2018 15:16
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stuxracer posted:I guess I’m a prude but a friends wife, even if a good friend, bringing up their sex life with me would be super uncomfortable especially without him around. I can’t imagine mine doing that wit one of my friends either - like where is the line drawn with sharing details of your lives? I have friends where the dynamic lends itself to talking about sex and friends where the dynamic doesn't. It's just an interpersonal thing.
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Sep 5, 2018 15:34
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stuxracer posted:I guess I’m a prude but a friends wife, even if a good friend, bringing up their sex life with me would be super uncomfortable especially without him around. I can’t imagine mine doing that wit one of my friends either - like where is the line drawn with sharing details of your lives? I guess our friendship is a bit different than most. Most of our other friends don’t make us dinner one or twice a week, wash our dishes, or volunteer to scrub our toilets. He lived with us for half a year and we would seriously let him move back in for free if he didn’t buy his own house a few minutes away. He could have bought a house anywhere in the city, and he claims he only got a place so close because it’s convenient for him to get to work from our area. (I think it’s also because he likes having good company so close by.) I ended up telling him over text. Paraphrasing: “Hey, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about. You know how I’ve been seeing an OBGYN and got those tests that revealed my blocked tubes? Well, fertility concerns weren’t the main reason I went to the doctor. I had been having some painful sex for quite some time and wanted to get that sorted out before we started trying for a baby. That recent round of medication I was taking seemed to have solved the problem! I cried a lot earlier because it felt like such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I’m sorry if that’s TMI, but it’s something I was really struggling with for a long time and I feel so relieved now. I just wanted to share that with you because you’ve become such a good friend.” Like I said, I didn’t go into gory details, but he knows we want to start a family soon and that I’m going to require surgery to get pregnant.
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Sep 5, 2018 17:25
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My wife and I decided we want to explore more BDSM, or at least bondage and D/s to start. What's a good entry level type of activity that won't totally freak her out about where it could go?
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Sep 6, 2018 03:48
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Assuming she's bottoming, ask her. Don't just be like "I'll try a random new thing out of the blue and see how it goes!!!", like not the first time, not ever. Ask her what she wants to try. Btw, all this poo poo means way more talking.
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Sep 6, 2018 04:17
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I just had an on again/off again friend-with-benefits (used to be frequent years ago, now maybe once a year or so) tell me that the last time I went down on her she got a UTI, and that when she thinks back she would frequently get UTIs when we were hooking up more regularly. I am pretty fastidious when it comes to oral hygiene, so I assume it isn't just from having a gross mouth or whatever. I get tested whenever I am with a new partner (although I've been single and not sexually active for a while at this point) and have never tested positive for anything. I did a bit of searching online and generally all of the results regarding women getting frequent UTIs from oral sex were just your standard list of "urinate afterwards, try cranberry supplements, etc". Is there anything I should be looking into on my end? If we do hook up again at some point (who knows, now that she thinks I am UTI patient zero) I don't want to just tell her a bunch of stuff SHE should do. Is it possible for two people to just have naturally incompatible microfauna? That would be a real bummer.
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Sep 6, 2018 16:30
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or volunteer to scrub our toilets What?
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Sep 8, 2018 15:42
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Dudeabides posted:My wife and I decided we want to explore more BDSM, or at least bondage and D/s to start. What's a good entry level type of activity that won't totally freak her out about where it could go? Please don't choke each other. There's no safe way to do that. You can find simple rope tutorials easily online that are a good starting point for bondage. Make sure you get some decent bondage rope to minimise injury from the material, and get some safety scissors at the same time. Keep them to hand. They're no good being left in the kitchen if something starts going wrong in the bedroom. Like Anne Whateley said, you guys need to talk. A lot. Honestly and openly. Find your common ground and define your boundaries then stick to them unless you have another open, honest discussion where you both decide you want to change those boundaries. The golden rule is to stay safe, sane, and consensual. LingcodKilla posted:or volunteer to scrub our toilets Bollock Monkey fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 16:25
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I have looked through the past 20 pages and got one of my questions answered, how to ease in to trying anal, but I have one that I'm trying to do research on and coming up empty. When I was in college I was asked to join in a threesome. I was in a serious relationship and don't believe in cheating so I passed it up. Since then I have always been curious about it. I have pitched the idea to my wife and she gave me some of her experience. She partook in a three way with two guys in college but says she was just going along with them (the guys later came out gay and are together which is great for them). In her thoughts two want to partake in a three way and one is just going along. She understands my curiosity and has never turned the idea down. However she is not actively looking nor cares to try; however I am the one who always brings up new things to try, she has no fantasies or things she is curious to try. She has more sexual experiences than I do which is my theory as to why I'm always looking at new things to try with her. So I am trying to research what happens after a three way, how do the couple feel towards each other? Im looking for couples who have done a three way once or twice, the couples who do three ways as a norm will give biased answers imo. The last thing I want to do is screw up something with my wife. I love her more than anything which is why I'm looking and asking. Trying to see if my fantasy/curiosity is normal or if I'm messed up in the head a little; also to find out if couples who partake in a three way stay together or if it is an act that tears them apart. If it tears couples apart I will avoid it like the black plague, don't want to lose her. Sorry for the ramble, doing this from my phone. Thanks for reading/listening.
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Sep 8, 2018 22:06
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It's a normal fantasy, but if you're trying to make it happen while she doesn't want to do it, obviously that will be bad for your relationship.
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Sep 8, 2018 22:15
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Anne Whateley posted:It's a normal fantasy, but if you're trying to make it happen while she doesn't want to do it, obviously that will be bad for your relationship. I agree, if she tells me no I stop. But she has not said no, why I'm just figuring things out. All talk right now.
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Sep 8, 2018 22:31
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There is no "threesomes do this or that to a couple". People are all individuals with their own individual reactions and relationships and situations. The question is what having a threesome would be like for you and your wife. From what you've posted it sounds like she's not really that interested. If you want it to happen, you need to have a lot of no-pressure, honest communication with your wife about it. Is it something she doesn't really want to do (that's a hard "no"), or something she doesn't have a specific interest in but would be into at the time? And you'd need to discuss what specific details are on or off the table. What sex acts are you both comfortable with your guest star doing? Think about em and discuss them and see if any make either of you feel jealous or nervous or awkward and then rule them out. And she'd need to feel able to say "sorry, I'm actually really not into this" in the moment, at which point the show stops immediately, and your special guest star goes home with no hard feelings. Actually you'd need to feel like you could say that too. As for "am I broken for having fantasies about this?", no not at all. Really common. Also people have fantasies all the time that they don't actualise or don't want to actualise. You don't need to feel like because you have fantasies about it you should have a threesome. Maybe dirty talk about it would do the trick by itself (assuming your wife is into that)?
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Sep 8, 2018 23:20
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Fixit posted:I agree, if she tells me no I stop. But she has not said no, why I'm just figuring things out. All talk right now.
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Sep 8, 2018 23:31
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How can I adjust my technique during oral sex on the clitoris so that my jaw doesn't start to hurt really bad.
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Sep 8, 2018 23:34
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JebanyPedal posted:How can I adjust my technique during oral sex on the clitoris so that my jaw doesn't start to hurt really bad. I've had partners who think they should be lapping at that clit like a cat grooming itself (probably from watching porn, where they need that slack-jawed, tongue-sticking-way-out shot to telegraph to the viewer "ATTN: A TONGUE IS TOUCHING A PUSSY"), when in reality what actually gets me off is kissing/gently sucking it. When I've told them "just kiss it", it seemed pretty win-win because it was less tiring work for them, and more enjoyment for me. What I'm saying is: smooch that cooch. JacquelineDempsey fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Sep 9, 2018 |
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Sep 9, 2018 00:23
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JacquelineDempsey posted:I've had partners who think they should be lapping at that clit like a cat grooming itself (probably from watching porn, where they need that slack-jawed, tongue-sticking-way-out shot to telegraph to the viewer "ATTN: A TONGUE IS TOUCHING A PUSSY"), when in reality what actually gets me off is kissing/gently sucking it. When I've told them "just kiss it", it seemed pretty win-win because it was less tiring work for them, and more enjoyment for me. Mmm thank you I will try this.
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Sep 9, 2018 00:54
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Hyperlynx posted:There is no "threesomes do this or that to a couple". People are all individuals with their own individual reactions and relationships and situations. This was really helpful. The "able to stop at any point" had not crossed my mind but makes a ton of sense. Wife comes first and foremost. Will also try talking about it, playing devils advocate, and at the point gauge the hard no or the "if I'm in the mood, yes". Because now it seems like no specific interest but if the stars align...maybe. I have had tons of other fantasies and I tell my wife everything. We try some of them and she is almost always game. The only one she wasn't into was anal, but she says because it was so near to our last kids birth. Now she is getting a little interested in it. I really appreciate this. Thank you so much.
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Sep 9, 2018 01:23
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LingcodKilla posted:or volunteer to scrub our toilets We were talking about cleaning bathrooms and how he had a lot of bleach and could bring some over for me. When he came to my house with supplies, he just started cleaning my toilets for me and we cleaned both of the bathrooms in my house together. Every woman I have ever talked to about him always asks if he can come over to their house, or if they can “borrow him” for a bit.
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Sep 9, 2018 07:26
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I think "just going along with it" sounds like a fun attitude for a college three way and a recipe for disaster in an adult committed relationship. That's not enthusiastic in the least and it's gonna turn into you pushing her into it even if you approach it with the best intentions. I think you can 'go along with' a lot of stuff when your partner is into it and you're not, but a threesome is a bit more advanced. Tread carefully. You're navigating very choppy waters and you really need both people to be enthusiastic about what they're doing. That's my opinion tho V lol fair enough. I meant like the 2 people in a relationship have a lot more to lose than the 3rd but yeah obviously everyone should be pretty enthusiastic purple death ray fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Sep 9, 2018 |
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Sep 9, 2018 11:31
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All three people, I would think.
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Sep 9, 2018 14:49
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JebanyPedal posted:How can I adjust my technique during oral sex on the clitoris so that my jaw doesn't start to hurt really bad. Are you new to giving oral, or back to doing so after a while off? Could just be you need to build up stamina through repetition. Also ask your partner for feedback on what you're doing. You may be over-exerting yourself early on which both exhausts you and extends the session.
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Sep 9, 2018 19:28
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Your hands are also valuable tools.
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Sep 9, 2018 21:18
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Fixit posted:Will also try talking about it, playing devils advocate, Don't play devil's advocate in relationship discussions. Say how you feel and what you want and let her say how she feels and what she wants. Devil's advocate only works in adversarial situations.
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Sep 10, 2018 02:44
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Geoj posted:Are you new to giving oral, or back to doing so after a while off? Could just be you need to build up stamina through repetition. No neither of those, I broke my jaw a long time ago so it pops in and out on the left side and just generally hurts quickly.
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Sep 10, 2018 05:58
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So I talked with her last night. Starting telling her again why I'm curious about it and because I haven't heard the hard no still thinking about it. She gave the hard no. Said she does not want to share me nor does she want another guy in our bed. So I replied with that is fair and I understand. The thoughts are out of my head and won't be pursuing or thinking about it any more. She said she is up for trying anything else that I want to try which I asked about anal and she said yes but worried. Showed her a few videos to watch at her own pace and some stuff to read as well. Just waiting to see if she brings it up again or not. Would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bummed, which told her as well, but understand and that is that. She is way more important than checking something off as I did it.
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Sep 10, 2018 06:03
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Hello sex questions megathread, I posted here a long time ago about how I had problems with ejaculation with my then-recent ex, and got the advise to talk to her about it because that might have been a blow to her self esteem/generally cause her doubt. I can report that I talked with her about it a few weeks ago, and she said she hadn't really thought about it until I brought it up, and I said I didn't think it had anything to do with her anyway; it was probably general stress or baggage from a previous sexually very frustrating relationship. I think I can say that I'm a sex megathread success story
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Sep 10, 2018 13:14
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Wait so is this a back-on-again ex or "I brought up our sex life from long ago with my long ago ex and she sounded like she didn't really want to talk about it"
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Sep 10, 2018 15:33
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If all 3 people aren't enthusiastic about a threesome it's almost guaranteed to end in disaster.
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Sep 10, 2018 20:03
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JebanyPedal posted:No neither of those, I broke my jaw a long time ago so it pops in and out on the left side and just generally hurts quickly. I'd say that's more of a physical/clinical issue than anything wrong with your technique.
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Sep 10, 2018 21:15
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silvergoose posted:Wait so is this a back-on-again ex or "I brought up our sex life from long ago with my long ago ex and she sounded like she didn't really want to talk about it" Its neither. We broke up about a year ago because of distance and schedule, and while I was hurt, there's no bad blood between us. It was something I wanted to talk about face to face and we live in different countries, so I just let it rest until we would be in the same place again, which ended up taking something like 9 months.
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Sep 11, 2018 11:41
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