Oh no. I'm being sued. Again.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Oh no. I'm being sued. Again.

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

I bet if you just mail them your busted spine they'd be on the hook for your $80,000 medical debt too and you'd have resolved their special claim. win/win

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 23:16

lol but: Feb 24, 2007; body is a dinosaur; Slippery Tilde

Papa Emeritus III posted:

So, if you dont take down the nazi image they will chop off your hooves?

they're horse sadists and nazis, just real low class shitheads

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:52

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

You've done it now!!

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:52

curlys gold: Jan 17, 2018

lol shauntece laurant

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:53

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

lol but seriously I posted:

they're horse sadists and nazis, just real low class shitheads

no! Dont dehoove lowtax! We just fixed his drat neck.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:53

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

They never even mentioned the symbian or the cow loving. :smith:

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:54

deedee megadoodoo: Sep 28, 2000; Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.

When you sign your message CEO of Internet you become legally liable for all internet transgressions. Sorry tax man, but you gotta pay up.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:55

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Burt Sexual posted:

Holy poo poo look at these people that have purportedly paid them.

Lots of morons on Reddit have paid them as well. Shocking, I know.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 20:56

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Eventually they'll around get to threatening lawsuits against 4chan and I'd like to see this.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:00

AllNewJonasSalk: Apr 22, 2017; THUNDERDOME LOSER

I can confirm that a real life person named Shauntece will answer the phone and not understand the man named Paul Bunyan wanting to file a copyright infringement claim against Mr. Higbee using Higbee & Associates Law Firm. I told her I'd like to be personally represented by Mr. Higbee himself.

When you want to sue the worst you gotta hire the worst. That's sham law 101.

AllNewJonasSalk fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Sep 10, 2018

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:02

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

banned from Starbucks posted:

oh right Cox, NBC and Viacom. surely they will rollover for us

Big companies roll over for patent trolls all the time sadly. For them it's just comparing the costs of paying up vs. going to court and patent trolls know exactly the right amounts to ask for to incentivize them to pay. Plus if it does go to court the patent trolls will try to bring it to trial in some bumfuck town in the middle of nowhere where the jury will have no clue what they are listening to give the patent trolls a good chance at actually winning.

These guys and all the other patent troll types are absolute scum and I'm glad the Internet has a good CEO to tell them to gently caress off.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:03

TheReverend: Jun 21, 2005

mods, please rename me "precious Hitler image"

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:04

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

TheReverend posted:

mods, please rename me "precious Hitler image"

I love my dead gay Hitler

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:05

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Holy poo poo at one of those comments, the rabbit hole goes deeper:

quote:

Mathew K. Higbee, Nick Youngson, RM Media Ltd, and Alpha Stock Images are purpratrating a creative commons extortion scam using the Creative Commons Images website.

Do not confuse creativecommons.org with creative-commons-images.com. Creative Commons (the non-profit organization) is not affiliated with the scam website Creative Commons Images.

Higbee and Youngson abuse the copyright laws by filing copyright registrations over effortless and mundane images. They then make those images available for free on creative-commons-images.com under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike license (CC BY-SA 3.0) in exchange for "attribution". Rights managed licenses for those same images for a fee on Alpha Stock Images website.

The Creative Commons Images attribution requirements and guidelines are purposefully convoluted, diffuclt to follow and change frequently. They do this so they can later 'catch' people using the photos without proper attribution. Then use the Higbee & Associates law firm to bully victims with scare tactics and harrassment in order to extract money to �settle� purported copyright claims with damages of up to $150, 000.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:05

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Palpek posted:

Holy poo poo at one of those comments, the rabbit hole goes deeper:

Everything about their law firm is a loving scammy crock of poo poo. Naturally, they make over $5 million a year.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:11

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Lady used the word "behoove" in the email.

I think they're serious. :ohdear:

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:12

AllNewJonasSalk: Apr 22, 2017; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Lowtax posted:

Everything about their law firm is a loving scammy crock of poo poo. Naturally, they make over $5 million a year.

I think I've found your next racket, Lowtax. The only way to beat The Man is to become The Man.

I'll be Chico.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:13

jeffery: Jan 1, 2013

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:18

Rahu: Feb 14, 2009; let me just check my figures real quick here; Grimey Drawer

You shouldn't take those threats lightly, lowtax. They will probably send a predator to take your fancy robospine as payment.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:24

Old Story: Jun 2, 2006; Oven Wrangler

Lowtax, every time I have seen you post one of these letters over the last decade, I've always wondered if you showed them to a lawyer before replying. I feel like I would but the American legal system appears to be a ludicrous circus so I don't know

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:31

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Papa Emeritus III posted:

no! Dont dehoove lowtax! We just fixed his drat neck.

"Look he either gets to keep the neck or his hooves, he can't have both. Hitler.jpg must be paid."

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:32

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

drat folks, poo poo's getting real now!

quote:

FROM: Shauntece Laurant

Mr. Kyanka,

Your response is comically ignorant. Thank you for the compliment on my name, it was given to me by my deceased aunt. While you spew many insults on the character of the people who work for this firm and our client, it will not absolve liability.

I will present your response to the attorneys and follow up with you. Can you advise your affiliation with imgur.com?

Best

MY DEAD AUNT. BOO loving HOO. OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE. Here's my response:

quote:

Shauntece,

It is unfortunate to learn that both you and your deceased aunt have or had terrible taste in first names. Did she also work at a piece of poo poo, scam artist law firm? If so, you two are like proverbial peas in a pod! I could make a joke about the word "pea" here, as it's phonetically pronounced in the same way as the word "pee," which is a bodily substance I firmly suspect you and the rest of your coworkers drink on a regular basis, but I will refrain from doing so because I am a classy and upstanding pinnacle of modern society.

As for my affiliation with imgur, it is a very close and intimate bond, one that cannot be broken by the laws of man, as we answer to a much higher power. I am of course referring to a certain Jewish carpenter who my entire faith and belief system revolves around; that's right: Barabbas. Oh wait, our site has absolutely nothing to do with imgur, they're just another countless image hosting site on the internet, none of which we have any affiliation or contact with. My mistake, sometimes I get confused about things like this, I'm not a real smart lawyer like you guys, who are apparently incapable of using an obscure internet service that us grizzled industry experts refer to as a "search engine." Perhaps some day Mr. Higbee can pay Geek Squad $20 to swing by your office and explain the concept to you all, assuming you're not too busy threatening people to protect your precious Hitler image.

I look forward to your correspondence, and ultimately your multi-million dollar lawsuit that will once and for all conclusively prove image hotlinking is an illegal, immoral crime ideally punishable by the death sentence. Heil Hitler lawsuit from Hitlerbee and Associates!

Love,
Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
CEO of internet

PS: your name is stupid

I shall keep you all updated when the next exciting and incredible threat reaches me!

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:34

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

holy gently caress

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:37

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Well that was the funniest thing I've read all day.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:38

lol but: Feb 24, 2007; body is a dinosaur; Slippery Tilde

Lowtax posted:

drat folks, poo poo's getting real now!

MY DEAD AUNT. BOO loving HOO. OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE. Here's my response:
I shall keep you all updated when the next exciting and incredible threat reaches me!

FAO Dr. Lowtax: gently caress them up, Lowtax

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:39

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

I don't think she means you the Best at all!

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:41

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

You shaunt make fun of her name :argh:

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:43

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I don't think she means you the Best at all!

I gotta be honest with you; I kinda suspected the same thing.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:43

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I don't think she means you the Best at all!

How shameful when he's shown her nothing but love!

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:44

Sexual Aluminum: Jun 21, 2003; is made of candy; Soiled Meat

I think they have the Tax over a barrel here. Where is the backup site once this one is liquidated to pay for photo crimes?

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:45

Instruction Manuel: May 15, 2007; Yes, it is what it looks like!

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

I don't think she means you the Best at all!

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:46

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

these people are literally defending hitler

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:46

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

You should compromise, offer them the power to select every ALOD*

*including and limited to hitlerbee.com

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:47

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

By popular demand posted:

You should compromise, offer them the power to select every ALOD*

*including and limited to hitlerbee.com

Gonna have to check the ol' law books to make sure linking to websites is legal...

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:48

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Yo that hitler poo poo is probably public domain now anyways. :shrug:

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:51

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

aunt dead so what

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:52

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Yo that hitler poo poo is probably public domain now anyways.

This is escalating, so "probably" isn't gonna cut it. As a well-supervised employee with a stake in this company, I think we'll need to hire a Hitler specialist to consult in this and future cases.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:55

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

I'm a Hitler specialist. Ask me anything.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:55

Harveygod: Jan 4, 2014; YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

Tell her to direct all future communications to your attorney and give her DGSW's email.

# ? Sep 10, 2018 21:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 23:16

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

thinking that a lowtax legal fund thread to raise some money might be a good idea? ignoring all of his responses to the law firm ofc

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:00

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Oh no. I'm being sued. Again.

«‹›29 »