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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 21:16
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Let's hide our Dracula-itis.
Also, maybe Gabe wouldn't die if he wasn't so delicious.
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Sep 9, 2018 23:42
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Don't show mom our fangs.
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Sep 9, 2018 23:43
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Watch Blade
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Sep 10, 2018 00:25
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Research is due diligence.
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Sep 10, 2018 04:15
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“I say we go with plan two,” you tell Gabe. “We do research. Maybe we can find a cure that way.”
“Great!” Gabe declares. “I’ll go to the video store and rent every vampire movie I can find. Be right back.”
But by the time Gabe returns, you’re feeling weaker – and thirstier – than ever.
“Hurry,” you whimper. “Put in a tape.”
Gabe pops in a tape. He pushes the button and Dracula’s Excellent Adventure starts.
Big mistake.
Right off the bat, Dracula turns into a bat. He flies through a window and bites a woman on the neck. Now you’ve really worked up a thirst!
“I need blood!” you cry, jumping up and flapping your arms like a big, goofy bat.
quote:
“Sit down and relax!” Gabe shouts.
He pulls you back down on the couch.
“What are you doing?” he demands.
“Uh... I was... uh, trying to turn into a bat and fly out of here,” you admit sheepishly.
“Oh, man.” Gabe shakes his head. “We’re in deep trouble.”
He picks up the remote and turns off the videotape.
“Okay,” he announces. “Obviously this video thing isn’t working.”
“You’re right,” you agree. “So now what?”
“Now you pick one of the other ideas I came up with,” he says matter-of-factly.
He’s right. You hate it when he’s right.
Another fake choice, this one sending us back to Gabe's list of ideas.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
Our options posted:
- Don't open the packet.
- Go see the Eyeball Man.
- Don't show Mom our fangs.
- Go to Scary Stuff and drink the packets.
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Sep 10, 2018 13:17
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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We're fine, mom.
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Sep 10, 2018 13:55
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Go to Scary Stuff and CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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Sep 10, 2018 14:04
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Let's hide our Dracula-itis.
Lots of fake choices suddenly.
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Sep 10, 2018 14:11
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Sep 10, 2018 14:35
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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We're okay, Mom
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Sep 10, 2018 16:02
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Leave me alone, mom
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Sep 10, 2018 20:28
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“No!” you snap at your mom. You pull away, so she can’t look in your mouth. You don’t want her to see the fangs. “I mean, uh, it’s not my throat or anything,” you explain. “It’s my stomach. I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Oh, dear,” your mom says, backing away.
Your mom is kind of squeamish about throwing up.
“In fact...” you groan. Leaping out of bed, you run to the bathroom and slam the door. You quietly fill a glass with water.
Then, really loudly, you make the sound of throwing up.
At the same time, you pour the whole glass of water down the toilet.
It sounds just like the real thing!
quote:
You pop your head out the bathroom door.
“If I get some sleep, I’ll be okay,” you tell your mom.
“Okay, honey,” she answers. She blows you a kiss. “See you in the morning.”
When you wake up the next day, you tell your mother you’re still sick.
She believes you. After all, the color seems to have drained out of your skin.
“Be sure to drink lots of liquids,” your mom calls as she hurries off to work.
“Don’t worry,” you call back. “That’s just what I had in mind.”
quote:
Drink lots of liquids.
But for you, only one beverage will hit the spot: blood!
You’re so desperate, you’re tempted to bite your pet poodle, Fifi, on the neck. But instead, you spend the day with the blinds drawn, snoozing.
After school, Gabe comes over.
“I don’t think this vampire thing is wearing off,” you tell him. “We’ve got to go back to Mr. Reuterly’s store.”
“Fine.” Gabe shrugs. “But stay away from the Eyeball Man. His glass eye is creepy.”
Gabe heads to your bedroom door and yanks it open wide.
A beam of daylight streams into your room from the hall. You twist away, feeling a searing pain.
“No! Close the door – quick!” you shout at Gabe. “The light is killing me!”
quote:
Gabe slams shut the door and rushes over to you.
You fan your face. It feels as if you got a mega sunburn.
Finally, the pain goes away.
“What happened?” Gabe asks.
“The light,” you answer. “Haven’t you ever seen a Dracula movie? Vampires can’t go outside in daylight.”
“Not even with sunblock on?” Gabe jokes.
“Hey, wise guy, you want to be my lunchtime beverage?” you snap.
“Sorry,” murmurs Gabe. “So now what?”
“Now we wait,” you reply grimly.
Luckily, it’s October, so it gets dark early. You and Gabe hike to Scary Stuff, Mr. Reuterly’s store.
A block from the store, Gabe grabs your arm. “Look!” he shouts. “It’s the Eyeball Man. He’s locking the door!”
quote:
Panting, you run the last block to Scary Stuff. You get there just as Mr. Reuterly is turning away to leave. His balding head shines in the moonlight.
“Excuse me, Mr. Eye – I mean, Mr. Reuterly,” you call.
He turns around and glares at you. “Yes?” he growls.
“Uh, I bought this c-costume,” you stammer, showing him the Vampire in a Can. “And, um, I accidentally opened the packet inside. And, uh, well, drank the stuff in it.”
Mr. Reuterly points to the label on the side of the can. “See this?” he says. “There’s a number to call if you have a problem. Now I must be going. Good night – and good luck,” he adds with a mysterious smirk.
As Mr. Reuterly walks away, you and Gabe huddle under a streetlight. You read a message written on the can’s label.
It says: FOR PROBLEMS WITH THIS COSTUME, CALL 555-VAMPIRE. CALLS ACCEPTED AFTER DARK ONLY!
quote:
Gabe whistles. “Calls accepted after dark only. That’s weird. Are you going to phone?”
Staring at Gabe’s neck, your thirst returns. The thirst for...
You think, don’t think of blood.
Too late! You just thought of it!
“What choice do I have?” you moan, and hurry to a pay phone on the corner.
You pick up the receiver and punch in the number.
It rings thirteen times before a man’s voice answers.
“Thank you for calling Vampire in a Can,” the voice says. “How can I help you?”
Quickly you explain your problem.
“Yessss,” the man says in a slithery tone. “You must come to 999 Sanguine Road. We’ll be here till midnight.”
Then he hangs up.
“Sanguine Road?” Gabe exclaims when you tell him the address. “I know that word. ‘Sanguine’ means ‘bloody’! Stay away from there, I’m telling you. Don’t go!”
If you take Gabe's advice, turn to PAGE 70.
If you ignore Gabe, turn to PAGE 91.
Vampires love them some puns, but subtlety? Not so much.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 11, 2018 14:44
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Let's go on an adventure!
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Sep 11, 2018 14:45
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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Are the thirteen rings a reference to something?
Anyway, let's ignore our best friend.
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Sep 11, 2018 16:51
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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This book is one of my favorites simply because of all the options to embrace your new murder monster identity.
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Sep 11, 2018 19:21
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Let's avoid other vampires. They've all been jerks so far.
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Sep 11, 2018 19:37
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You ignore Gabe’s warning.
“I have to go,” you tell him as you start walking. “You don’t understand. I don’t want to be a vampire!”
“Okay,” Gabe answers. “Then I’m coming with you.”
An hour later you’re in a deserted part of town. An old brick factory stands at 999 Sanguine Road.
The whole building is dark. On the front door is a sign reading OFFICE. RING BELL.
“Whoa!” Gabe cries. “Check out the bats!”
Overhead, dozens of tiny bats circle wildly. They fly into a high, open window at the back of the factory.
You feel drawn to them. Strange. The only other bat you’ve ever been attached to was your old Louisville Slugger.
“We should follow the bats,” you say. “Let’s check if we can get in around the back.”
“No,” Gabe begs. “Let’s ring the front bell.”
If you follow the bats, turn to PAGE 44.
If you go to the front door, turn to PAGE 12.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 12, 2018 13:45
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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*jumps into cab* Follow that bat!
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Sep 12, 2018 15:51
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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We are now the bat-man.
Props to Gabe for continuously putting up with us despite our joking and actually trying to make a snack out of him.
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Sep 12, 2018 16:24
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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You're the worst Robin, Gabe. Follow the bats, man.
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Sep 12, 2018 19:59
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“We’ll follow the bats!” you snap.
With a shudder, you realize you’d rather hang out with bats than with Gabe.
“Come on,” you command, hurrying to the back of the factory.
“You seem to know where you’re going,” Gabe says, trying to keep up with you.
Somehow, you do know. You’re following some kind of inner radar – like a bat. And your radar tells you there’s a door in the back of this place.
“Were getting closer to the bats,” you tell Gabe.
Gabe puffs, “You act like you want to party with those bats or something! Don’t you want to be normal?”
Normal? What’s normal?
You start running faster.
quote:
As you round the corner of the factory, you see a huge garage door. You both try to slide the door up. But it’s locked.
“Forget it,” Gabe orders. “Let’s use the front door. Like regular human beings.”
You start to follow your friend.
But all of a sudden you feel a new sensation. You’re changing again – from deep inside.
A moment later, you have the strangest urge to fold your arms across your chest, like a bat. Something tells you that if you do, you’ll be able to fly!
“Use the front door – like human beings?” You repeat Gabe’s words. “But what if I’m not human?”
Gabe grabs your arm. “You’re my best fiend – er, friend. I know you’re human,” he insists. “Come on.”
If you go with Gabe, turn to PAGE 12.
If you try to become a bat, turn to PAGE 129.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 13, 2018 15:21
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Unlock new shapehifting powers.
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Sep 13, 2018 16:05
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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Echoing the statement that Gabe is quite the friend to still be willing to help, even after our guy threatened to drain his blood multiple times. The protagonist even called him a lunch beverage!
Make like an Animorph!
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Sep 13, 2018 16:41
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Activate Soul Of Bat.
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Sep 13, 2018 16:52
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oQqLsaqZfA
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Sep 13, 2018 17:30
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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I like this book more and more each section.
Flying is cool.
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Sep 13, 2018 20:24
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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I like this book more and more each section.
Being a normal human being is vastly overrated. Time to learn what it is like to be a bat.
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Sep 14, 2018 00:21
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“No,” you tell Gabe, pulling away. “I’m going to follow the bats.”
You close your eyes and fold your arms across your chest.
Gabe cries, “What are you doing?”
You don’t answer. You just concentrate hard on the bats... and on the tingling inside you.
Suddenly, your whole body feels as if it’s being crushed.
Crunched.
The whole world goes dark. You open your eyes, but nothing changes.
“I can’t see!” you try to scream.
But all that comes out is a high-pitched screeching sound.
Then you open your wings and lift off the ground. You’re flying!
You soar in a spiral. Up – up – up!
quote:
As you circle around, high above Gabe’s head, reality hits you.
You turned yourself into a bat!
I’m blind as a bat, too, you think as you soar toward the factory window. That’s where the other bats went in.
You can’t see the window very well. You’re not completely blind, but your eyesight is poor.
Your radar, though, tells you where the opening is.
Inside, you follow your sense of smell. It leads you to a room full of screeching bats.
They all flap their wings and circle each other. Then, one by one, they transform themselves into human form. Into vampires.
All except you.
Cold fear seeps into your little bat body as you realize:
You don’t know how to change back!
quote:
You want to change back into a kid. But you don’t have a clue how.
So you fly back out the window, searching for Gabe.
Your radar spots him. You dart down and land gently on his shoulder.
Gabe twists around and stares into your tiny bat face.
“Yuck!” he says. “You’re ugly. Can’t you change back?”
You just sit there, screeching.
Finally Gabe nods in understanding. “I guess I’ll have to take you home and keep you as a pet. Boy, my mom is going to freak. Maybe I can figure out a cure someday.”
Unfortunately, Gabe never figures it out. He does, however, grow up to be a major league baseball player. As a private joke, he lets you live in the clubhouse – as the unofficial bat boy!
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
 Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
Our options posted:
- Don't open the packet.
- Go see the Eyeball Man.
- Go to Scary Stuff and drink the packets.
- Take Gabe's advice and avoid Sanguine Road.
- Go through the front door.
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Sep 14, 2018 20:53
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Keep that packet shut, boy!
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Sep 14, 2018 22:00
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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Gabe's always been there for us, so let's listen to him for once and ignore Sanguine Road.
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Sep 14, 2018 22:12
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Why ask Gabe instead of the vampires?
Anyway, let's use the front door.
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Sep 14, 2018 22:41
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 21:16
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- BioEnchanted
- Aug 9, 2011
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He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
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I take umbrage at anyone who thinks bats are ugly after finding this channel a few months ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaPXhYaFReY
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Sep 15, 2018 07:01
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Sep 9, 2018 22:11
