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Baller Ina
Oct 21, 2010

:whattheeucharist:

Improbable Lobster posted:

I don't understand these new mega man bosses

you really dont want to see the animation for when mega man uses that weapon

rated M for mature

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Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Aesop Poprock posted:

I thought it was called Mr Happy


ge cafe posted:

I decided it'd be fun to gently caress myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.


This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.


Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my rear end. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.


Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.

I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my rear end out of my rear end. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of rear end sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the rear end "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My rear end didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes.


So the moral of the story is I really don't want to do this again. It makes me sad because I enjoy anal sex. Maybe others have heartier colons that I. But for god's sake, use condoms. If anything with a pulse goes in there, make sure it's sheathed.


Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
I actually feel better knowing I wasn’t right

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


BurntCornMuffin posted:

Bring back the Awkward Sex Stories thread, tia.
As long as we get something as good as "slaying bitches with your Nikola Tesla Lightning Dick," go for it.

Some of the Sheep
May 25, 2005
POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?

Aesop Poprock posted:

I thought it was called Mr Happy

The man-dildo effect at work, people.

BattleMaster
Aug 14, 2000

Aesop Poprock posted:

I actually feel better knowing I wasn’t right

Yeah I was expecting a tapeworm tbh.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
And we aren't even getting into the tales of ausgbs and toys for rear end bum

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Did he do what one of the Status Quo guys did when some of his nose fell out because he'd done so much cocaine and he went and did some more cocaine?

Sigmund Freud?

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Ghost Leviathan posted:

And we aren't even getting into the tales of ausgbs and toys for rear end bum

That was the TitanMen rear end Servant. Coke can for scale:

:nws: https://imgur.com/LBaYoUX :nws:

That's the beauty he ended up having to have extracted from his innards through the front :stonk:

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Solice Kirsk posted:

I think if I had a giant rear end ramming dildo I'd name it Sir Gruntsworth.
Slagathor :black101:

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Sigmund Freud?

No I'm Jerry Cotton.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Jerry Cotton posted:

No I'm Jerry Cotton.

No man Dave's not here

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN

Slagathor is a girl's name

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Dongthril the Hole Cleaver

One More Fat Nerd
Apr 13, 2007

Mama’s Lil’ Louie

Nap Ghost

Theophany posted:

That was the TitanMen rear end Servant. Coke can for scale:

:nws: https://imgur.com/LBaYoUX :nws:

That's the beauty he ended up having to have extracted from his innards through the front :stonk:

I clicked on this link and at the bottom it said, "click to expand" and my immediate reaction was: "oh god no, it's too big already" And then I realized it was talking about the photo.

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

Panfilo posted:

Someone go check it on Dildopedia and settle this matter once and for all.

this lead me to find a site claiming to be dildopedia.in.

http://cross-solidarity.net/

this is amazing

also the is something happening in the anonymous confessions thread

WendyO
Dec 2, 2007

Theophany posted:

That was the TitanMen rear end Servant. Coke can for scale:

:nws: https://imgur.com/LBaYoUX :nws:

That's the beauty he ended up having to have extracted from his innards through the front :stonk:


Who murdered this rear end in a top hat? The butt-ler did it.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

One More Fat Nerd posted:

I clicked on this link and at the bottom it said, "click to expand" and my immediate reaction was: "oh god no, it's too big already" And then I realized it was talking about the photo.

Try this for size...

Obviously, :nws:

https://i.imgur.com/yvSudEW.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/W9qZx01.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/EGOQjtp.jpg

:stare:

bring back old gbs
Feb 28, 2007

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

pfft these are not what i was expecting at all. 1/10 did not see the x ray or an 'in progress'

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
I'm really amused at the thought of dildos being like fantasy swords where certain rubber penises are imbued with such magical powers that become a yellow text Diablo 2 drop.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Iron Crowned posted:

I'm really amused at the thought of dildos being like fantasy swords where certain rubber penises are imbued with such magical powers that become a yellow text Diablo 2 drop.

Im looking for a dildo, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

RFC2324 posted:

this lead me to find a site claiming to be dildopedia.in.

http://cross-solidarity.net/

this is amazing

also the is something happening in the anonymous confessions thread

quote:

What is dildo sex?

A dildo is a sex toy which is design in such a manner that it looks like a real penis, and Dildos are also popular in India. While involving in the sexual activity, if people use any types of dildo sex toys then it is called the dildo sex.

:eng101:

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

Bertrand Hustle posted:

No man Dave's not here

lol

quite stretched out
Feb 17, 2011

the chillest

Theophany posted:

That was the TitanMen rear end Servant. Coke can for scale:

:nws: https://imgur.com/LBaYoUX :nws:

That's the beauty he ended up having to have extracted from his innards through the front :stonk:

i didnt think that he had to have it taken out thru the front, i thought they had to go in and make a cut to relieve the friction so they could pull it back out

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Looks like my trip to India next year just got even better.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



RFC2324 posted:

also the is something happening in the anonymous confessions thread

link pls

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
I'm looking for a thread, think it was originally in E/N. Basically, some goon's girlfriend joined a weird door-to-door sales company where she was basically a prisoner. I don't really remember anything else except that they were English and went over to the US for the job. Anyone know what I mean?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'm looking for a thread, think it was originally in E/N. Basically, some goon's girlfriend joined a weird door-to-door sales company where she was basically a prisoner. I don't really remember anything else except that they were English and went over to the US for the job. Anyone know what I mean?
omg I remember, please find this :pray:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
http://anotherone0.tripod.com/SA_FAQ.htm

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 11 days!

Oh man that's a long incision :stonk: Just how big is a 'very large' buttplug? Did he sit on a fire hydrant or something?

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Panfilo posted:

Oh man that's a long incision :stonk: Just how big is a 'very large' buttplug? Did he sit on a fire hydrant or something?

Theophany posted:

That was the TitanMen rear end Servant. Coke can for scale:

:nws: https://imgur.com/LBaYoUX :nws:

That's the beauty he ended up having to have extracted from his innards through the front :stonk:

Was that one.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Ghost Leviathan posted:

And we aren't even getting into the tales of ausgbs and toys for rear end bum

post link I need more horrors to share

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 11 days!
All I remember is that ausgoons are weird even by goon standards and like shoving stuff up their dicks.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010

by sebmojo

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'm looking for a thread, think it was originally in E/N. Basically, some goon's girlfriend joined a weird door-to-door sales company where she was basically a prisoner. I don't really remember anything else except that they were English and went over to the US for the job. Anyone know what I mean?

Magazine subscriptions?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Panfilo posted:

All I remember is that ausgoons are weird even by goon standards and like shoving stuff up their dicks.

Jose sent me a picture of an Australian goon's prolapsed butthole once. I believe the owner of that prolapsed butthole had jammed a metal rod into his penis hole so deep that he started bleed profusely, so fixed the problem by coating the same metal bar in honey and shoving it into his penis hole again.

Interesting things happen on these here forums.

Ghostlight
Sep 25, 2009

maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me



Honey is a superfood.

quite stretched out
Feb 17, 2011

the chillest

UCS Hellmaker posted:

post link I need more horrors to share


Solice Kirsk posted:

Jose sent me a picture of an Australian goon's prolapsed butthole once. I believe the owner of that prolapsed butthole had jammed a metal rod into his penis hole so deep that he started bleed profusely, so fixed the problem by coating the same metal bar in honey and shoving it into his penis hole again.

Interesting things happen on these here forums.

the start of his interesting visual posts in ausgbs was a picture of his dick and a bucket full of bloody tissues because something went wrong when he was sounding ihmself, then later he said he was going to try and stick manukah honey down his dick hole because it promotes wound healing. he started posting pictures of his rear end exploits and a mod probated him for it, at which point the whole thread got mad at the mod and the mod was like what the gently caress, youre all cooked, fine he can keep posting it just dont inline it.

none of those posts can be linked for you though because that thread got closed when a total pile of nightmare trash poster was posting about how he was planning on checking out a psych ward patient for a day so they could go have toilet sex and people were posting about contacting the hospital because he had posted a whole bunch of identifying information in the thread (including his own name) before, and had also met some of the goons in the thread. a bunch of people got probated for "doxxing" because they wanted to try and stop him from taking advantage of someone with a psychiatric disorder, because jeffrey of yospos woke up in the middle of the night to the whole situation taking place and was very angry about it all lmao

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Glossary:

{{{{{{{X}}}}}}}}: See Huggles.

1337: "leet". A bastardization of 31337 which in turn is a bastardization of Elite. Basically, "cool". It's traditional to take a screenshot of your 1337th post and flaunt it in your sig, however; since postcounts are off currently, that's not very possible. You can, of course, see your post count in your profile page, but that's really kind of lame if you look there after every post.

404 Tard: The guy on Something Awful's 404 Error: Page not found page. Widely speculated to be male.

Aces!: Usage: "Aces, another loving foo thread!" Basically just, "Oh look, another thread about foo!" This started with an image macro which displayed "ACES! ANOTHER loving ZERO WING THREAD!", used whenever someone posted a thread about AYBABTU.
airdisc: Karphead, for some reason, posted a thread praising the newest goon, "airdisc". It caught on and we soon gained a dozen various "I LOVE YOU AIRDISC" threads, complete with a dedicated "airdisc" thread tag. Very spiffy. As of the time I wrote this, he had one post: a thread with the "BAN ME" tag. He's currently the only non-admin to post a "BAN ME" thread without being banned. Magical.

All About Goatse.cx: One day, 20 of the 50 threads on the first page of GBS were about goatse. Lowtax created AAG to make a place for discussions about large anal openings to live. This was later merged with FYAD to create FYAG.

AAS: See All About Sex.

All About Sex: A forum where morons discuss sex. Features lots of incest. The Goons invaded it briefly and brought back several catchphrases, most notably P-Due and K THX BYE.

rear end Sandwich: A sandwich made from rear end and poo. No other explanation is offered.

AYBABTU and AYB: See All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us: A quote from an old Sega game, "Zero Wing." Tom posted a thread with this as the subject and the phrase "ON THE TABLE" as the only text. By the end of the first page, people had started randomly photoshopping AYBABTU on various items. It caught on in more ways than one and "All your foo are belong to bar" became the new way of speaking. The Laziest Men on Mars made a song out of it, someone else stole the song and made a music video out of it, and together the phrase became famous. It's now completely cliché and using the phrase on the forums can get you lynched. NOTE: TV's Ian has done a much better job than I could, see his History of AYB.

Appleton City: The (Fictitious, sorry) city where several something awful characters reside, including Cliff Yablonski, and L-Bone.

Attention Whore: In these forums it refers to someone who wants constant attention and tries to get it by doing things like starting numerous threads about her/himself. Once reserved for women only, I believe the definition now covers men as well. (HPopper)

Banned: To have your account deleted. Once you're banned, you can't come back... usually. Some people get on Lowtax's good side, apologize; or somehow achieve amnesty and get back in. Banning happens when you break any of the so-called "mortal rules".

BBAB: BritishBornandBread. That's the redheaded boy you often see photoshopped onto various people. Allegedly he doesn't look like that anymore, but who can tell with those brits? [1] [2] Note that he no longer looks like that.

British Bulldog: Also B. Bulldog: A gimmick poster who mocked everyone in a British Soccer Hooligan style. It turned out that he actually was a british soccer hooligan, and he almost became accepted... until he posted a thread saying that he was sorry for being annoying, his dad didn't want him posting anymore, and he might return someday. The next day, he came back as "dpph-lurker" (His account was banned when he said he was leaving- it's forum policy.) and accused Al and a few others of conspiring to have him banned. (The ironic thing is, Al is an admin and could simply ban him.) He later sent an email to Lowtax saying that he and a few other banned posters were planning something big to destroy Something Awful completely. After some time passed and nothing happened, a few other goons received emails containing crazed threats and other sundry ravings of a lunatic.

Oddly enough, only days after he threatened to do something "big" that would "Destroy something awful", Lowtax got a legal notice that DPPH was infringing on copyrights and must be shut down immediately.

But did you get head? (Catch phrase) A poster named Urine Therapy posted lots and lots of threads about his sex life. Eventually it became traditional to reply to them with "But... did you get head?". Eventually this phrase spread to the rest of the forums. Note: you can be banned if you say this. It's that lame.

Camel Spider: A huge spider that will eat your face. More

Can I have some winamp?: (Catch phrase) Dr. Eldarion received an email from a random person containing only this text. It became a long photoshop thread.

Custom Title: The little thing under your username and when you registered. You can change it with a low, low one time payment of $10. Details at the bottom of this page.

Dinosaur Game: A device used to diffuse trolls. The idea of the game is simple. Find a picture of a dinosaur somewhere on the internet and post it in the offending troller's thread. If you are not the first person to post a dinosaur pic, try to follow the previous poster's pic by matching either the color or the species. (much like the card game Uno) (HPopper) See Hijack.

DPPH: Don't Post Porn Here. Unfortunately, everyone did, and it got shut down when a lawyer threatened to sue. See the British Bulldog saga for an interesting anecdote. There may or may not be a secret backup DPPH, get in touch with Stuntcock for the details.

eFront: Former hosts of SA. See the whole story here: http://efront.cjb.net Basically Something Awful was hosted on eFront for a few months, during which time Lowtax was employed by eFront. He should have been paid some huge amount of money, but instead he got $40 and an encyclopedia set or something. eFront was run by this guy named Sam Jain. Someone hacked into his computer and stole ICQ logs in which he says stuff like "I'm going to rape and spit on my websites." real nice guy.

E/N: Originally Entertainment/News, but it's slowly changed to Everything/Nothing. You know those stupid websites like Stileproject that post Everything, but they're really about Nothing? That's what E/N threads are about. Nothing. Usually this tag is used when the thread is about whoever's life in general. Don't go to these threads if you don't like angst.

FAP: The sound of one masturbatory stroke. Usually they come in packs of three- FAP FAP FAP. Stolen from http://www.sexylosers.com//The Thin H line.

Forum Invasion: Morons decide it would be a good idea to go annoy other people in other forums as much as possible. I believe it was Brock Landers who popularized the idea with the SAAN invasion. (HPopper)

FYAG: See gently caress You And Goatse.
FYAD: See gently caress You And Goatse.

gently caress my flesh: Someone posted a thread (possibly fictional) about how they pranked a person at their work through a series of events which all involved showing him hello.jpg image from goatse.cx. The coworker allegedly exclaimed gently caress THE FLESH!. A very odd reaction indeed...

gently caress You And Goatse: The forum to keep all flamewars and disgusting pictures in. It used to be called "gently caress you and die" until it was merged with "All about goatse".

Gamefan: A bunch of morons who couldn't find their rear end with both hands and a stick equipped with rear end-finding radar. They hosted SA for a while, but neglected to pay Lowtax. He left and went to eFront... which really wasn't much better.

Gamequoter: A user who posts nothing but screenshots from old videogames. One of the best Gimmick Posters. A god among men. Update: He can actually type- he wrote a very nice thread after the 9-11 tragedy. He also does game reviews for Artfag's website here.

Gas Chamber: The Comedy Gas Chamber is where stupid threads go to die. Note that this used to be called "The Dungeon." The Dungeon came about when some morons complained that their wonderful threads were just disappearing with no explanation. Lowtax created The Dungeon to show that their threads were not disappearing due to a server problem, but rather because they sucked.

Gas Chamber Challenge: When the Gas Chamber first debuted, people would say things like "OH, I BET THIS IS GOING TO THE GAS CHAMBER!". Lowtax (actually it was Captain Yams, but that's a different story) issued the Gas Chamber Challenge: if you say that a thread is going to the gas chamber, and it doesn't; you're banned. So then people said stupid things like "I WILL TAKE THE GAS CHAMBER CHALLENGE!". So the GCC was changed slightly: if you say anything close to "THIS THREAD IS GOING TO THE GAS CHAMBER! HAHAHAHA" you'll be banned.

GBS: General Bullshit. The main forum.

Geno: Someone posted a thread about this website called "Habbo Hotel", an interesting cross between AOL chat rooms and Command And Conquer style real-time strategy games. An invasion was hastily assembled. We were to create a new character using all grey clothing items and a name in the format "GenoX" where X was a number. Most of the classic Geno lines- "Follow the path, the path is grey" were made up on the spot. It's since grown into a pseudo-religion based on unity through conformity... Nobody takes this seriously, though. It's a joke, laugh.

Gimmick Poster: A user who posts on one theme and one theme only. Example: Period Guy, who posted only a "." Some gimmick posters are embraced and become regulars, such as GameQuoter; while most are banned and flamed incessantly. It's not worth it, trust me. Often, established posters create extra gimmick accounts and use them when needed. Gimmick posters are now grounds for banning, both of your gimmick account and your normal account, unless they're hilariously funny.

Goatse: To send someone to a website such as Goatse.cx or comp-u-geek with cruel intentions. Pronounced "Goat-see." Please keep all goatse-related threads in "gently caress You And Goatse".

Goatse.cx: A very, very bad website. Features a man (labeled "The Receiver" pulling his own anus open for the camera. Often people are sent to the website rather than a real website. Example: "Where can I find X?" "here." Widely considered lame. There is another picture on this website labelled "The Giver," of a man with a very large penis. See also Goatse and tacoinspector. All goatse related items are now considered lame and might even get you banned if an admin happens to be bitchy that day.

Goon: Someone who frequents either the Something Awful Forums or the IRC #sa, or both.

Grabulsa: King Grabulasa was one of the names of the villian in Lowtax and Jeff K.'s joint article "The Erotic Adventures of Moon Patrol." The villian's name changes at least once, and Grabulasa is the more memorable name. It's now used randomly because it just sounds cool.

Hack The Gibson (Also numerous variations, such as HAx0R tEh GIB0n!!) This is from the 1995 movie "Hackers". The plot involved Hacking into the Gibson, a giant supercomputer. It's evolved into an all-purpose catchphrase about hacking into stuff.

Hijack: A thread hijack is what happens when the conversation is derailed. Suddenly a conversation about Red China will turn into a discussion of the finer points of Soup. It's scary. NOTE: Some of the meaner-spirited people in the forums will TRY to hijack threads. If you see a picture of a dinosaur (See Dinosaur Game), or ANYTHING about Mario Kart, RUN.

Huggles: Hugs + Snuggles. You've seen 'em, I'm sure. French (curly) brackets around a name: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{anotherone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. A way of showing affection. May or may not be from SAAN.

I AM WIN!!: A former poster. He often started threads about various conspiracy theories and supernatural occurrences. (This spawned the mini-catchphrase "IT SI A CONSPIRACY!!", complete with Jeff K style spelling) One day someone happened to be browsing the portals and they noticed that I AM WIN!! appeared to be pleasuring himself. Closer inspection of his live webcam showed that he was, in fact, masturbating. Many threads were posted mocking the poor guy. When he found out about it, he went ballistic (And I personally don't blame him. I mean, c'mon, for a bunch of people who post FAP FAP FAP in response to nearly anything we're awfully hypocritical.) He posted a big long thread about how he was leaving and subsequently banned. Now, he's back; and better than ever.

I jsut wanted to bbe a moderator: TastyArmageddon allegedly attempted suicide when he was banned. This immortal phrase, typos and all, was typed while his wrists were (allegedly) slashed. We've turned it into a catchphrase- because that's the kind of comedy we LIKE! (Note to those of you sickened by this: He didn't really attempt suicide, that was almost certainly a prank. Nobody knows who was pranking who, though...) Note that he got to briefly bbe a moderator.

Image macro: "Canadian Maniac always posted the same image in response to almost any thread. It was 'Can't Stop The Music' and was a still from a VHS of some guy dancing or some poo poo. Lowtax publicly asked if we thought he should be banned if he continued it. Most said they didn't mind, or thought it was funny. I thought it was funny, but of we all knew course R-Lo could do whatever the flying gently caress he wanted, as it is his server and his bandwidth. Basically everyone said they did not mind the repeated image.

"About two days later Lowtax announced Macro Images, and for 2 loving weeks every post was responded to with I'm Blown Away, [img-timeline], and a whole bunch of other annoying poo poo. Finally someone started a thread complaining that Macro Images were annoying and should be discontinued, to which Lowtax basically said, 'NO poo poo, YOU MEAN IT IS loving ANNOYING WHEN THE SAME STUPID IMAGE IS POSTED AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN IN RESPONSE TO EVERY MOTHERNUNFUCKING THREAD????'" (Psycho Donut Killer)

Now, the term Image Macro refers to any frequently used image, usually with text proclaiming "YOU SUCK AT THE INTERNET!" or something.

[img-foo]: See Image Macro. A list of official [img-foo]s are above, but any common image that's used often can replace foo. [img-motorcycle.jpg] for instance.

IRC: All the COOL people hang out on somethingawful IRC. irc.somethingawful.com #sa. I lied. IRC is a scary place. Any time you see something on the forum that you don't understand, it's an IRC thing.

Jerry: Jeff K often makes reference to his friend Jerry. He's apparently fat and dumb, however "he" once "hacked" the forums and briefly took over.

K THX BYE: Another Once-very-popular SA catchphrase. It mocks the convention of using the sloppy e-mail/IM shorthand (e.g. "can u plz come back l8r ppl!"). (HPopper) I think that it was actually first seen on All About Sex.

King REoL:
A guy who everyone hated when he was here, mostly for his incredible stupidity. Also, his awful sig that he posted all the time. Finally, he was banned. SA went down temporarily one day due to server trouble and King REoL (AKA George Fiffy) sent Lowtax an email talking about how "REoL TOUGH", Fiffy's Doom website (Yes, that doom) had outlasted SomethingAwful. This angered The Tax, and the next day SA's Awful Link of the Day was REoL TOUGH. Angered by the angry letter REoL sent lowtax, and fueled by the hate for King REoL they already had, the goons trashed his guestbook. REoL sent Lowtax another email where he compared Lowtax to Osama Bin Laden, calling the "Attacks" on his guestbook "terrorism". (This was before the term Terrism was invented). Lowtax posted the email, and all hell broke loose. At the time of writing, the situation has not been resolved, although REoL thinks there's some sort of crazed Illuminati based on Something Awful that takes down websites. When the situation resolves, I'll add further info.

Kurt Cobain Misquotes: A goon's sig had the line "It's better to fade out than burn away," attributed to Kurt Cobain. The quote is not from Kurt Cobain. The goon was repeatedly told this, and he bitterly denied that the quote came from anyone but the late Kurt Cobain. Before long other quotes began appearing in sigs, all attributed to Kurt Cobain: "You have nothing to fear but fear itself." - Kurt Cobain. "We can't stop here, this is BAT country!" -Kurt Cobain. You get the idea. Before long it became a full fleged forums fad. It's since faded away (rather than burning out, like so many catchphrases).
Kane Of Nod writes: "I think that quote is actually a misquote of a song known as "Hey, Hey, My, My (Into The Black)" by Neil Young. Off the top of my head, that's the way it sounds. A quick search on Google often has the wrong quote on Nirvana pages."

Leonard "J." Crabs: Lowtax's friend and lawyer, Leonard once discovered a new element called LINOLEUM which allows him to win any and all legal threats aimed at Lowtax. He's a legal bodyguard and he'd take a legal bullet for SA.

Lowtax: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka, the leader of our fair forums. He writes nearly all of the content for Something Awful, and unlike a lot of website's admins, posts on the forums. An all around nice guy.

MSN hacking: Someone discovered that if you went to http://communities.msn.com/_Secure/tla, where "tla" was any three-letter-acronym, you could see a (seemingly random) picture. Nobody knows where the pictures were coming from, although the theory that it's stuff from MSN communities was tossed out and generally accepted. Nobody really cared why it worked, though; it was so much more fun to simply look at stuff. A number of programs were quickly thrown together that made browsing randomly easier; allowing several goons to amass several gigabytes of random MSN pictures. A very large percentage of the pictures were bad porn, some even illegal porn- kiddie, scat, bestiality, you name it. It started working briefly again at the end of September 2001, but was quickly fixed.

P-Due: Bizzare slang for penis. From All About Sex.

PAK CHOOIE UNF: The sound made by pusher robots. This is mostly nonsense, however see UNF.

Parody Thread: A thread that's a parody of another thread. For instance, a thread called "Someone stole my TV!" may be met with a parody thread called "Who wants to buy a TV, cheap?" This may cause Title Pairs. Considered lame, although it can be funny if pulled off correctly.

Photoshop: The name of a popular piece of photo editing software sold by Adobe. When I say "popular" I mean "POPULAR" in the sense that oxygen is popular. All of those wacky pictures with BBAB's head on someone else's body, or kids are staring at a floating dildo while exclaiming "AMAZING!" were done with photoshop or a clone thereof. It's common to get a warez (read: Stolen) version of photoshop, but those of us with ethics only use software if we can pay for it. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) If you can't afford the rather steep price tag on photoshop, I'd encourage you to check out The Gimp, a free alternative.

Photoshop Thread: A thread dedicated to photoshopping a certain picture, subject, or catch phrase.

postcount++: It used to be that postcounts were displayed under a user's name. Unfortunately, many people reguarded postcounts like they would penis size, and goons became obsessed with having a large postcount. "Postcount++" (or "add one to postcount" for you non-programmer goons) was tacked on to pointless posts and was often posted by itself when the poster didn't really have anything to contribute to the current thread but wanted to up the size of his/her postcount. (HPopper)

Pusher Robot: A robot whose only purpose is to shove. See the famous ICQ prank "Space Robot Bonanza".

Roofle[s]: Means something is funny. A bastardization of ROFL, or Rolling On Floor Laughing.

ROOFLE OWNED SCRUB: Means that someone said something that "Owned" someone else. Replace Scrub as needed. History: It's a bit sketchy, but I think it was first coined by an imfamous troll named YOU-ARE-OWNED who said that quite a bit.

SAAN: see Smile And Act Nice.

Sam Jain: The guy who ran eFront. He single handedly screwed over dozens of webmasters, went bankrupt with eFront, then fled the country to- get this- Hawaii. He started a few new websites which are literally exact rip-offs of established sites.

Shover Robot: A robot whose only purpose is to push. See the famous ICQ prank "Space Robot Bonanza".

Smile And Act Nice: A website "By Girls, For Girls". Think of it as a female-oriented Something Awful. Several of the current forums posters migrated during a very large forum invasion which SA started and SAAN continued... *shudder*
Bobalbmi has this to say: A poster called "Brock Landers" (perhaps) linked to SAAN saying something to the effect of "Look at all the free pussy here". People from here then invaded their forums for a few days. Then the members of SAAN decided to retaliate, which led to the "Huggy wars" (cute things posted ad-nauseum). Everyone calmed down, and banned posters now often use that forum as an alternate to this one.

Something Awful Forum Goon Survivor: Based firstly on the CBS "Survivor" series, and secondly on Jeff K's parody of it (FPS Smartie man Gaem Designer Survivar). The SAFGS series depicts the attempts of a few famous forum goons to survive and be the last goon alive. SAFGS1 featured artfag, Eurononymus, Fiwer, TAOC THE WONDE DOUGH, Tossed Salad Man, I AM WIN!!, was written, directed, and drawn by Bolt Vanderhuge. It can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/chud_lord/survivor.htm. (Hekcorps) Note that there will someday be a SAFGS part 2.

Sometimes I fall down: a34 fell down once. One of his friends said to him, "MY NAME IS [A34], AND SOMETIMES I FALL DOWN." He felt the need to share, and it became a catchphrase.

Space Robot Bonanza: Simply the funniest ICQ prank ever. Seriously. Origin of many catch phrases- "PAK CHOOIE UNF," Pusher/shover bots, "Grandma is protected >> at the bottom of the stairs," "The terrible secret of space," and lots of stuff. Read it.

Tacoinspector: A specialized version of Goatse.cx run by a goon. Sending someone to http://www.tacoinspector.com/?goon=anotherone will send that person to goatse.cx and add one to the score for anotherone. Scores can be viewed at http://www.tacoinspector.com/stats/.

TastyArmageddon: AKA 'Tasty' A poster who was banned after a long and hostile saga. For a long, long time anything he posted was met with "gently caress OFF TASTY" images. He apparently had over 40 usernames he used, most of them stupid, stupid, STUPID gimmick posters such as "Triangle Guy," who simply posted a triangle in every thread. Fun Fact: He registered the 10,000th username, which was "TastyArmageddon owns you." Updated: Tasty is back, and he's actually behaving himself for now. He was briefly made a moderator, even. He's apologized for the mess, and he's a normal poster.

Terrism: Terrorism on the internet. Spawned from a King REoL typo.

The Laziest Men on Mars: Forums goon JRR's band. Their hits include The Invasion of the Gabber Robots (better known as "All your base are belong to us") and We Are Something Awful.

The Giver: Goatse man's friend with a very large penis.
The Receiver: The official name of the goatse man.
Note that these names are probably from the children's book "The Giver."

The terrible secret of space: See Space Robot Bonanza. Also a song by JRR and The Laziest Men On Mars.

Title Pairs: Two threads that appear next to each other on the forum page which appear to be related. For instance: "I found hell..." "In the library!". My all time favorite:

Note that occasionally these are created on purpose with thread titles like "...IN BED!". This gives you things like "What's your favorite game? ...IN BED?". See also Parody Threads.

Uglycat: Cliff Yablonski's only friend.

UNF: The sound made when having sex.

Urine Therapy: A former poster. He was known for posting a lot of threads that had to do with his apparently flourishing sex life. One day he posted a thread saying "I've got [some drug] (Ephedrin? don't remember), what should I do with it?" He had enough [some drug] to kill a horse. Eventually he posted that he'd taken it. A little while later he started talking nonsense about what it was like. Eventually posts from him stopped, and he hasn't been heard from since. Some think that he's dead, other think that it was just an elaborate way of leaving the forums. See also But did you get head?. NOTE: Fistgrrl says that Urine Therapy eventually came back and asked to banned. I can neither confirm nor deny this. Frankly, I like my version better.

Why You Throw Chip?: Here's the post that started it, by Euronymous:

"Anyway one time me and a friend were at a KFC, and he was throwing chips [French Fries -anotherone] around but nothing too serious, just into plants and out the window and poo poo. So anyway I throw one down the stairwell just as this
Asian slut is coming up and it hits her smack in the face. So she starts jabbering on and this Asian guy comes charging up the stairs towards me ( I assume its her boyfriend) he comes up and starts getting in my face saying "WHY? WHY YOU THROW CHIP? HUH?" and I said some lame response like "Oh, well I meant to just throw it down the stairs and she walked into it". So he does this little thing where he turns away like he's going to walk off, and then spins around and goes to punch me in the face, he's much shorter than me so instead it connects with the side of my neck.

Next thing I'm punching into his face and the top of his head (he's going down into a crouch) and my friend comes in with his knee and starts kneeing him in the face, then I lifted him up by his little jacket and slammed the back of his skull into a supporting pole. Meanwhile his girlfriend and some old Asian bitch are jumping all over us blabbering on in Korean or whatever, screaming at the top of their lungs so the whole of the kfc runs over to watch. Then this big black security guard chick (!) comes over and starts throwing her weight around wanting to know what's going on, I look down and the Asian dude is sitting on the floor holding his face which is dripping blood, so I run the gently caress out of the shop and down the road a fair bit, I expected my friend to follow or someone from the kfc to give chase, nothing happened neither my friend nor security people followed.

So I cautiously walk back to see what the gently caress my friend is doing and I see he's in there with 2 security guards trying to restrain him, and he's still trying to have a go at the Asian guy, and pretty much everyone in the shop yelling "COME ON THEN!!! loving COME ON!!!" at the top of his lungs. Needless to say he's a bit of a psycho, he goes a bit crazy when he gets into a fight. So I go to the door and yell out "hey, fuckin come on man" and comes running out and we take off down the road. Next thing we hear some sirens so we pissed off down into the train station.
Fun.
And I didn't even get to finish my dinner."

WORST.foo.EVAR.: Originating from a line uttered by The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy, this is now used in many different occasions, including mutations of the phrase which are merely two words seperated by periods and followed by "EVAR." Also: BEST.FOO.EVAR. (HPopper) Note that the "Evar" is due to Comic Book Guy's accent, it's not a JeffKism.

Yams: SA doesn't censor out bad words. We get rid of old catchphrases. Any time Lowtax gets tired of a word, it goes on the banned list. Rather than being blocked out by ***** like normal censoring scripts, the forums replace every letter of the blocked word with "yams". Currently (as of the time I write this) banned words include "FAP" and "goatse." Currently censored words: no words are censored currently

You Suck At The Internet: There was once a site called SadSites, which collected various websites the creator proclaimed "Sad". The design of the page, of course, was laughable; and the webmaster had NO sense of humor. He decided that Cliff Yablonski Hates You was sad, and added it. Lowtax posted a thread about it after someone emailed it to him. The webmaster of sadsites started spamming lowtax with all sorts of crazed stuff saying that Lowtax "Lost". What he lost wasn't explained. Eventually it was decided that Lowtax lost at the internet. Guri whipped out a picture with a picture that used to say "Page under construction", and changed the text to proclaim "You suck at the internet!" and it was started. AFTERMATH: Someone discovered that there was a bug in the guy's script that allowed people to vote for the "Saddest" site and exploited it, causing Cliff Yablonski to end up with (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst) a NEGATIVE 10,000,000,000 or so. The guy got mad and changed the code so CYHY to always have +10.

yuo = fag0t: A phrase spawned by JeffK and popularized in the forums by a poster called Gravedigger, who would often reply to threads with only this phrase. This prompted Lowtax to censor it. (See yams) Gravedigger later went on to spam the hell out of the forums and get banned. (HPopper)

If you read something on the forums that isn't listed here that confuses you, search on Google or Everything2. Not everything is a wacky forums catch phrase, you know.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I'm going to post this every time someone goes on about THE FORUMS GOLDEN AGE or how the forums suck now or w/e

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Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
If you see a picture of a dinosaur (See Dinosaur Game), or ANYTHING about Mario Kart, RUN.

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