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brugroffil posted:Yes if it was a tale about being into dumb scam bullshit putting them both into debt instead of choosing an important but low wage career there would be no question. Yeah come on dude, you’re supposed to be a team. I doubt they have a shared lifestyle of two teachers so she has nothing to spend on fun hobbies and he’s blowing a ton on his whims. “Well I’m going on vacation for the next couple of weeks, maybe next time you can have enough saved to come”. “Oh sorry your Corolla needs new tires, I can give you a ride today in the merc but we’re splitting gas”
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Sep 15, 2018 03:48
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She was going to be something medical-ly when they got married and she changed her mind
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Sep 15, 2018 04:42
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Methanar posted:She was going to be something medical-ly when they got married and she changed her mind I’m willing to bet he envisioned this extravagant future for them both swimming in money, which got shot down in flames when she went from being a future doctor to being a future teacher and he resents her for it. If so, a dick move for sure, but I could see that happening.
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Sep 15, 2018 05:00
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It is the classic tale of the woman believing her man will change, and him believing she won't
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Sep 15, 2018 05:23
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The answer to that is to not marry a teacher, not to have this weird resentment that your wife isn't as well off. Also didn't that millionaire next door book say millionaires were most likely to be married to teachers? I mean, correlation doesn't indicate causation but you hear about plenty of high-income families where they squander it because they haven't been in a situation where they need to think about periods of unemployment, job uncertainty, etc. Also, a colleague of mine said just yesterday "yeah whenever I earn money I always end up needing more". Yikes. Hedonic adaptation is one hell of a thing.
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Sep 15, 2018 05:24
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100% ahole lawyer husband does not give his wife credit for the free health insurances he gets from her union job.
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Sep 15, 2018 13:44
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howdoesishotweb posted:Who the hell goes into a marriage and still divides bills like that? If the wife becomes a stay at home mom now will the husband then provide her with a 1099 for her child rearing services, or does he evict her for being unable to pay the rent/mortgage? Dude is an rear end Spergs. I know a couple who recently divorced because of this exact scenario. He made bank, she made like $60k, they split everything equally, which really hosed her since we're in NYC. He was adamant about splitting bills being "fair". She left him.
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Sep 15, 2018 13:46
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At the risk of self chat I don't fully share finances with my wife and I make a lot more money than she does, don't know if that makes me a sperg or just more experienced/generally interested in managing money and finances. It can work as long as everybody has reasonable expectations and everybody appreciates the large number of both financial and non-financial contributions that go into a successful household and marriage.
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Sep 15, 2018 15:37
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What will you be using those assets on that you're afraid your wife will waste? I thought marriage was all about partnership. Like what's the logical end point? Feels like you're assuming divorce is inevitable with that approach. E: removed quotes around waste. Thanks for pointing that out. Lowness 72 fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Sep 15, 2018 |
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Sep 15, 2018 17:01
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Eh, me and my wife split our finances, she gets her own account I get mine. We have a joint that we put money in also. But we don't split bills and do them jointly with me putting more money in. It certainly helps to not have money fights like a ton of people (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 15, 2018 17:12
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My wife and I used to split finances but we ended up getting divorced when we had an irreconcilable disagreement on a fair market reimbursement value for her surrogate services per child (total number of children and year of conception per child was already agreed in writing in a prenup but we forgot to include the exact uterus utilization service fees). Now that we are split up I sit at home with a pile of my money and honestly I'm much happier.
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Sep 15, 2018 17:22
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Lowness 72 posted:What will you be using those assets on that you're afraid your wife will "waste"? Quotes don't work that way, my friend. He didn't say "waste"
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Sep 15, 2018 17:52
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Droo posted:My wife and I used to split finances but we ended up getting divorced when we had an irreconcilable disagreement on a fair market reimbursement value for her surrogate services per child (total number of children and year of conception per child was already agreed in writing in a prenup but we forgot to include the exact uterus utilization service fees). Exactly. Enough of these mature, well adjusted relationship dynamics. We all know money in marriage should be used as a cudgel to punish the low earner, and a power struggle to establish dominance. Prenup should be a given to ensure a feeling of dependence and reinforce the looming threat of poverty. howdoesishotweb fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Sep 15, 2018 |
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Sep 15, 2018 17:53
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Droo posted:My wife and I used to split finances but we ended up getting divorced when we had an irreconcilable disagreement on a fair market reimbursement value for her surrogate services per child (total number of children and year of conception per child was already agreed in writing in a prenup but we forgot to include the exact uterus utilization service fees). Source your quotes.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:20
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Lowness 72 posted:What will you be using those assets on that you're afraid your wife will "waste"? That's a hell of a leap from having two bank accounts to just one.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:33
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BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:don't know if that makes me a sperg or just more experienced/generally interested in managing money and finances. I what does this even mean? We'll understand why the finances in your equal partnership are unequal when we're older? She'll understand when she's older? also this is why you don't self-post, even if you acknowledge you're breaking the rules when doing it (that doesn't make it better)
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Sep 15, 2018 18:38
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Senor Dog posted:what does this even mean? We'll understand why the finances in your equal partnership are unequal when we're older? She'll understand when she's older? I make most of the money, and I am also the person who is interested in reading about and spending the time handling the finances, doing the investing, filing the taxes, and stuff like managing the rental properties we own. It's not a trivial undertaking and I think it's one of the several happy divisions of labor in our household and marriage.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:44
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Oh let's all talk about how we handle our finances with our significant others, super interesting...
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Sep 15, 2018 18:45
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BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:I make most of the money, and I am also the person who is interested in reading about and spending the time handling the finances, doing the investing, filing the taxes, and stuff like managing the rental properties we own. It's not a trivial undertaking and I think it's one of the several happy divisions of labor in our household and marriage. And it doesn't require separate finances in any way.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:47
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BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:I make most of the money, and I am also the person who is interested in reading about and spending the time handling the finances, doing the investing, filing the taxes, and stuff like managing the rental properties we own. It's not a trivial undertaking and I think it's one of the several happy divisions of labor in our household and marriage. Subjunctive posted:And it doesn't require separate finances in any way. Exactly. That's a big ol copout to justify keeping the money to yourself
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Sep 15, 2018 18:50
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Senor Dog posted:what does this even mean? We'll understand why the finances in your equal partnership are unequal when we're older? She'll understand when she's older? This is why you don't self post? What do you mean? He posted something interesting and on topic, and it elicited a response from you. Slam that Report button if you need to feel some mod power but don't condemn the post in the same breath that you respond to it, ya doofus
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Sep 15, 2018 18:50
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Also, these hyperbolic posts about 1099ing your wife for childcare are extremely illuminating on why it's important for some people to have fully combined finances. If you can't imagine anything less extreme than your made-up examples, combined finances is definitely your only option, and that's fine. But don't poopoo others for having greater flexibility and pursuing what works for them.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:53
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Subjunctive posted:And it doesn't require separate finances in any way. And it doesn't make either of us unhappy if we have separate bank accounts (really, 50+ financial accounts and assets, some of which are jointly titled, some of which are premarital, some marital, some assets in trust). Do what works for you and makes sense with your spouse or partner and don't judge others for doing what works for them. You can have marital finances divided in various ways for a variety of legal and practical reasons without being a controlling monster or being financially abusive or whatever the people posting here seem to think.
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Sep 15, 2018 18:57
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Also, these hyperbolic posts about 1099ing your wife for childcare are extremely illuminating on why it's important for some people to have fully combined finances. If you can't imagine anything less extreme than your made-up examples, combined finances is definitely your only option, and that's fine. But don't poopoo others for having greater flexibility and pursuing what works for them. I know, it's so crazy for some of us to think that one partner trying to hoard all the money to themselves might endanger a long (like 7+ year) relationship or something.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:09
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howdoesishotweb posted:Who the hell goes into a marriage and still divides bills like that? If the wife becomes a stay at home mom now will the husband then provide her with a 1099 for her child rearing services, or does he evict her for being unable to pay the rent/mortgage? Dude is an rear end I caught up with an old friend who mentioned him and his wife do this. She has a trust fund that he can't touch, the house is in the trust, she doesn't work, and keeps her finances separate from him. They have two kids, and he pretty much has to do everything because she refuses to get a job,clean, etc. Both kids spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week at daycare even though mom isn't really doing anything during the day. He's obviously unhappy but will probably never leave her because he's that kind of guy.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:11
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Droo posted:I know, it's so crazy for some of us to think that one partner trying to hoard all the money to themselves might endanger a long (like 7+ year) relationship or something. If "I manage our 401ks because my partner doesn't care about financial stuff" sounds like Hoarding All The Money, then you are a definite candidate for fully combined finances. There's nothing wrong with that; in my opinion the only mistake you're making is believing that everyone shares your limitations.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:19
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Panfilo posted:I caught up with an old friend who mentioned him and his wife do this. She has a trust fund that he can't touch, the house is in the trust, she doesn't work, and keeps her finances separate from him. They have two kids, and he pretty much has to do everything because she refuses to get a job,clean, etc. Both kids spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week at daycare even though mom isn't really doing anything during the day. He's obviously unhappy but will probably never leave her because he's that kind of guy. Do they have an income disparity or was this a case of "she had a massive inheritance"? I've got a couple friends who are bumbling their way through that. They're retired at a young age and feeling limited by their romantic prospects because they've got to choose between 1. Only dating similarly well off people, 2. Splitting their $$$ down the middle and reentering the work force, and 3. Keeping their preexisting assets to themselves and creating some awkwardness like this Ban inheritance imho
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Sep 15, 2018 19:23
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:If "I manage our 401ks because my partner doesn't care about financial stuff" sounds like Hoarding All The Money, then you are a definite candidate for fully combined finances. There's nothing wrong with that; in my opinion the only mistake you're making is believing that everyone shares your limitations. I was actually making a joke about your fiance of 7 years dumping you because you tried to tell her how it was gonna be money-wise, while also attempting to point out that maybe you aren't the best person to weigh in on this particular topic. But I guess my limitations are flaring up again because it didn't work.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:25
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Droo posted:I was actually making a joke about your fiance of 7 years dumping you because you tried to tell her how it was gonna be money-wise, while also attempting to point out that maybe you aren't the best person to weigh in on this particular topic. But I guess my limitations are flaring up again because it didn't work. I got what you were putting down buddy 
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Sep 15, 2018 19:27
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Oh  Yeah for those just joining the thread, I broke things off with my fiancee last year because she wouldn't agree to a prenuptial agreement where I kept my existing assets separate and all future assets would be shared. Her argument was that "I don't need to sign it because if we got divorced I wouldn't ask for any of it" but she kept and sold the ring soooo guess I was in the right after all? Still (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 15, 2018 19:36
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Do they have an income disparity or was this a case of "she had a massive inheritance"? I've got a couple friends who are bumbling their way through that. They're retired at a young age and feeling limited by their romantic prospects because they've got to choose between 1. Only dating similarly well off people, 2. Splitting their $$$ down the middle and reentering the work force, and 3. Keeping their preexisting assets to themselves and creating some awkwardness like this It probably wouldn't be as big of a problem if she was doing something productive with her time, but she's not. If he separated from her, he'd have two kids to care for and nowhere to live. Before I learned all those I was a little jealous because he got a house that he never had to save or pay for, but it was kind of a Faustian bargain for him. It should also come to no surprise his in laws treat him like poo poo as well.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:51
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Quotes don't work that way, my friend. He didn't say "waste" You're right. Removed them.
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Sep 15, 2018 19:56
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Oh I was going to mock you for that too, but I can see it given your (terribly managed) trust fund or whatever it is. Splitting that in half if things go bad would be rough.
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Sep 15, 2018 20:31
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Literally didn't do anything that deserves to be mocked tho
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Sep 15, 2018 20:37
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Sorry the relationship ended Chris. I don’t know how I would have proceeded if my wife and I were bringing anything but an enormous mountain of debt to our relationship.
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Sep 15, 2018 23:36
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Oh So the woman you're getting engaged to in 2 weeks is a new one? What are you going to do if she also refuses a prenup?
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Sep 15, 2018 23:44
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What do you guys do about tipping at restaurants when you're married? Do you split the tip evenly, or do you pay according to a complex equation based on "who makes more", "who ordered more", and "who ended up eating more (both of each person's initial order and of any food that they didn't order but still consumed)"? Also how much of the bill is appropriate to tip?
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Sep 15, 2018 23:44
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Oh Lmao, but can we get a link to the reddit thread?
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Sep 15, 2018 23:51
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Weatherman posted:What do you guys do about tipping at restaurants when you're married? Do you split the tip evenly, or do you pay according to a complex equation based on "who makes more", "who ordered more", and "who ended up eating more (both of each person's initial order and of any food that they didn't order but still consumed)"? Also how much of the bill is appropriate to tip? If she pays just the tip, she gets just the tip.
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Sep 15, 2018 23:52
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Weatherman posted:What do you guys do about tipping at restaurants when you're married? Do you split the tip evenly, or do you pay according to a complex equation based on "who makes more", "who ordered more", and "who ended up eating more (both of each person's initial order and of any food that they didn't order but still consumed)"? Also how much of the bill is appropriate to tip? Pay the bill in full including tip, unless my partner wants to treat me. Not complicated!
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Sep 16, 2018 00:03
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