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Iron Crowned posted:I feel like this just killed any credibility you ever had or could have had. The collective internet hate of Crystal Skull is one of the more bizarre and exaggerated group thinks about a perfectly inoffensive and mildly entertaining movie
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Sep 19, 2018 08:34
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Crystal Skull is a perfectly cromulent film. I just wish John Hurt had more of a speaking role in it.
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Sep 19, 2018 08:38
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Say what you will about Shia, but I have mad respect for actors like him and Daniel Radcliffe who after spending their early careers making enough money to last several lifetines, spend the rest of it doing whatever the gently caress they want.
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Sep 19, 2018 08:53
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Fart City posted:What the gently caress, they didn’t even give Bane/Nuke an amalgamated name? That’s some sorry poo poo. And if you’re gonna do that, you do if with Venom and Bane, because the name of the drug is Venom! The idea of that makes me want to Buke!
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Sep 19, 2018 08:59
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Wandle Cax posted:The collective internet hate of Crystal Skull is one of the more bizarre and exaggerated group thinks about a perfectly inoffensive and mildly entertaining movie I rewatched the first half hour of it yesterday when I was sick, the first time since theaters. Even though I remember the second half being more whole egregious than the first, I was faaar more forgiving about what I saw than when I was 20 years old and the series was precious to me. I wonder how many folks online simply haven't rewatched it since they were snotty youths. I rolled my eyes at some bad dialogue here and there and feel like a few choices were too over the top, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.
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Sep 19, 2018 10:32
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I haven't rewatched Crystal Skull recently but I remember being annoyed by how goofy it all was. The fridge nuke and the Tarzan scene are the two that stick in my mind, but the movie sets the tone right away by the Paramount logo fading into a gopher hole, which a obviously CGI gopher pops out of for no real reason besides it's a silly joke. The Indiana Jones films all have humor and exaggeration, but they were never goofy to the extent Crystal Skull is. It really felt like they were making an Indy movie with kids in mind, while simultaneously forgetting that kids absolutely love the previous movies despite not having anything that specifically pandered to them. There are three films I remember watching as a 4-5 year old: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (because Large Marge scared the poo poo out of me), BTTF and Raiders (because of how goddamn awesome those films are). [Edit: until Crystal Skull came along, Temple of Doom was my least favorite Indy film, also because of tonal dissonance when compared to Raiders and Crusade. it's just so dark and mean-spirited compared to those two] asecondduck fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Sep 19, 2018 |
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Sep 19, 2018 11:35
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Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf is one of the greatest single works humanity has or ever will produce so I can never truly hate the man.
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Sep 19, 2018 12:53
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Not gonna lie, Shia actually appearing at the end of that video did a lot to fix my perception of him.
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Sep 19, 2018 13:12
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asecondduck posted:I haven't rewatched Crystal Skull recently but I remember being annoyed by how goofy it all was. The fridge nuke and the Tarzan scene are the two that stick in my mind, but the movie sets the tone right away by the Paramount logo fading into a gopher hole, which a obviously CGI gopher pops out of for no real reason besides it's a silly joke. While I can't really disagree with any of this, the goofiest moments in Crystal Skull are no more egregious than those in Temple of Doom. I also dislike those bits in ToD because of the tonal dissonance you mentioned, but otherwise love the film. The groundhogs in KOTCS are far less wacky than the whole card game sequence in TOD with all the animal gags that Willie gets into. The fridge nuke would have been a superb scene if instead of rocketing a mile away and then bouncing down a hill in a cartoonish way, the bomb was simply a bit farther away from the town and Indy could have emerged from inside the rubble of the house to see the explosion. The only time the groundhogs bothered me was the comedic beat after Indy gets out of the fridge, because it should have been a serious moment where Indy realized that he was smack in the middle of the atomic age and the world had moved on without him. Him making a goofy face after seeing the groundhog in front of him undercuts the terrifying imagery of the atomic explosion moments later. Crystal Skull's biggest sin is unrealized potential. There's such an amazing film inside of it screaming to get out from behind the convoluted plot and misjudged decisions. A bit more tinkering would've done it—all the right elements are there. feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Sep 19, 2018 |
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Sep 19, 2018 13:24
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Wandle Cax posted:The collective internet hate of Crystal Skull is one of the more bizarre and exaggerated group thinks about a perfectly inoffensive and mildly entertaining movie The only things that really bother me about it are the fridge scene (I like the concept but I don't like it being flung like a mile and Jones rolling out like a cartoon character unharmed) and the monkey scene where random monkeys start helping Mutt.... because he has the same hairdo? Maybe in an earlier draft they had established those monkeys earlier. I'd be fine with a bit of animal action nonsense there if it had a little more setup.
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Sep 19, 2018 13:27
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feedmyleg posted:Crystal Skull's biggest sin is unrealized potential. There's such an amazing film inside of it screaming to get out from behind the convoluted plot and misjudged decisions. A bit more tinkering would've done it—all the right elements are there. To me it just felt like there several kernels of different movies mashed together, and suddenly inter-dimensional aliens did it. Not that supernatural elements didn't come into play in the previous films, but they were always religious/mystical, so science fiction really felt off. It was a bunch of good ideas thrown in a box, with nothing really strung together coherently enough to be memorable.
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Sep 19, 2018 13:37
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Yeah, the alien elements in Crystal Skull didn't bother me at all, they aren't a whole lot different than the other supernatural stuff the other films did.
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Sep 19, 2018 13:53
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Gonz posted:Crystal Skull is a perfectly cromulent film. I just wish John Hurt had more of a speaking role in it. I feel like the cinematography shouldn't have been as high-contrast it was in Minority Report, where the soft focus and desaturation gave that dreamlike quality to everything. I know Kaminski worked both films so it's no surprise. Still, it didn't really suit a movie that was supposed to pay homage to 50s scifi. Since most people tie Indiana Jones to adventure serials and Nazi punching, the thematic switch was already going to be a hard sell. Then you've got all these other deviations from the norm going on in multiple places in the script. I think another few months of really refining it would've made a good movie, not an okay one. I'm also a +1 for being cool with Shia as Mutt, but I know at least one person irl who loathes Shia and thinks he ruined the movie single handedly (he didn't, but you'll never convince him of that).
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Sep 19, 2018 14:00
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asecondduck posted:Yeah, the alien elements in Crystal Skull didn't bother me at all, they aren't a whole lot different than the other supernatural stuff the other films did. I liked the aliens and Roswell being part of it, since it felt like a very 1950s-appropriate theme. But the aliens suddenly being interdimensional beings from the space between spaces was a bit too 1970s New Agey for an Indy movie. I also feel like there was no real reason for the alien to kill Cate Blanchett at the end.
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Sep 19, 2018 14:00
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My biggest problem with Crystal Skull is dumb, but it's the fact that everyone calls him Henry and not Indy/Indiana for the entire movie.
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Sep 19, 2018 14:19
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I thought Crystal Skull was pretty okay but that having them "only" be aliens was kind of weak. Shia LeBouf was pretty good in it.
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Sep 19, 2018 14:23
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Chairman Capone posted:I liked the aliens and Roswell being part of it, since it felt like a very 1950s-appropriate theme. But the aliens suddenly being interdimensional beings from the space between spaces was a bit too 1970s New Agey for an Indy movie. It feels like it was aiming for a kind of Erich Von Daniken thing, which is about 10 years too early. I think Spielberg was personally adamant about not using the Nazis again as the villains, because he doesn't like doing that after Schindler's List and SPR (or something like that) but didn't he also put a load of disclaimers whenever he discussed the movie after the fact about how the UFOs and everything were all Lucas's idea and how he didn't have much input on the story? Remember when South Park did an episode shortly after Crystal Skull where one subplot was the kids trying to get Lucas and Spielberg arrested for literally raping Indiana Jones? Simpler, more innocent times for fandoms; everyone grew up and started taking movies less personally/less seriously after that. 
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Sep 19, 2018 15:38
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I just really, really hate the "ancient aliens gave us civilization" trope. The shot of Indy standing before a mushroom cloud was fuckin' beautiful, though.
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Sep 19, 2018 15:51
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Byzantine posted:I just really, really hate the "ancient aliens gave us civilization" trope. I think my problem with it is that here's never anything new or even interesting with that trope, it's always just an excuse for not having a proper plot point/resolution.
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Sep 19, 2018 15:56
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Wheat Loaf posted:It feels like it was aiming for a kind of Erich Von Daniken thing, which is about 10 years too early. I think Spielberg was personally adamant about not using the Nazis again as the villains, because he doesn't like doing that after Schindler's List and SPR (or something like that) but didn't he also put a load of disclaimers whenever he discussed the movie after the fact about how the UFOs and everything were all Lucas's idea and how he didn't have much input on the story? Von Daniken popularized the ancient alien idea, but it had been around long before him - I think the earliest suggestion that Martians built the Egyptian pyramids was 1898. A lot of the CIA and Air Force studies of UFOs in the 1940s/50s mention it too, though they don't dwell on it. I think even Curtis LeMay brought it up in some book. But Von Daniken definitely did make it go mainstream. And I think it was appropriate too with a Soviet villain because the Soviets themselves (or at least a number of Soviets) advocated the ancient alien concept, partly because belief in aliens was a lot more common in the USSR scientific community than the US, but also because of Ezekial got a ride in flying saucers instead of angelic chariots, it would be a blow against religion. As for the alien aspect of the story. I'm sure Spielberg (and Ford) had little input, but at least since the early 90s aliens and Area 51 were going to be central to Indy IV. The "Saucer Men from Mars" comment that Indy makes in it is a nod to the original proposed title from like 1994. Just be glad that script wasn't used, it involved Indy and the KGB villain each stealing a flying saucer from Area 51 and having a UFO dogfight. Spielberg himself advocated the ancient alien idea in interviews back when Close Encounters came out - maybe he's changed now but at least in 1977 he was a True Believer. Though again that was of the time.
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Sep 19, 2018 15:56
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Chairman Capone posted:Von Daniken popularized lol I got a recent copy of Fortean Times to read for free with Amazon Prime on Kindle and the first page was a full-page ad for a new Von Daniken book; I’d assumed he was long dead but nope, still grifting like a champ 
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Sep 19, 2018 16:12
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NoneMoreNegative posted:lol I got a recent copy of Fortean Times to read for free with Amazon Prime on Kindle and the first page was a full-page ad for a new Von Daniken book; I’d assumed he was long dead but nope, still grifting like a champ He at least used to be a talking head on Ancient Aliens from time to time. I think Giorgio Tsoukalous got his start by being von Daniken's assistant or something like that, too.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:14
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NoneMoreNegative posted:lol I got a recent copy of Fortean Times to read for free with Amazon Prime on Kindle and the first page was a full-page ad for a new Von Daniken book; I’d assumed he was long dead but nope, still grifting like a champ Holy poo poo. I remember like a decade ago watching some of his stupid seminars on Youtube and also assumed he'd died in the interim.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:20
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Byzantine posted:I just really, really hate the "ancient aliens gave us civilization" trope. Especially in the one series that has an archeologist as a protagonist. The idea of it being interdimensional beings instead of aliens is a total anachronism when it comes to source material, yeah. I've got a good number of UFO newsletters from the 50s through the 70s and the idea of aliens as interdimensional or non-corporeal beings doesn't pop up until well into the 70s mysticism side of things. I would've much preferred straight-up aliens.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:28
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Danikenpostin’: if you google up ‘The Space Gods Revealed PDF’ by Ronald Story you can read an excellent point-by-point deconstruction of all the guff from Chariots of the Gods, I picked up the paperback from a charity shop way back in my teens and it was an eye-opening introduction to literary ownage
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Sep 19, 2018 16:31
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feedmyleg posted:I would've much preferred straight-up aliens.  Hell, with Roswell and all that, it would have been a better movie had the end prize been a crashed UFO or an alien skeleton, or something a bit more grounded than weirdo George Lucas hack poo poo
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Sep 19, 2018 16:34
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Based on the way he's been describing it lately, I imagine Lucas's take on the Star Wars sequels could well have been similar to Crystal Skull. 
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Sep 19, 2018 16:39
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NoneMoreNegative posted:Danikenpostin’: if you google up ‘The Space Gods Revealed PDF’ by Ronald Story you can read an excellent point-by-point deconstruction of all the guff from Chariots of the Gods, I picked up the paperback from a charity shop way back in my teens and it was an eye-opening introduction to literary ownage There’s about 100-150 pages of Sagan’s Broca’s Brain devoted to taking apart ancient aliens poo poo that is good but absolutely fatiguing because there’s no reason to bother subjecting it to such a high degree of scrutiny.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:42
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Iron Crowned posted:I think my problem with it is that here's never anything new or even interesting with that trope, it's always just an excuse for not having a proper plot point/resolution. It's almost like the early 20th century serial archaeologist thing is only deep in the sense of holes
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Sep 19, 2018 16:43
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Indiana Jones 5 should be a stealth Jurassic Park prequel where he goes to Pellucidar.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:46
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Indiana Jones was born on July 1st, 1899. Harrison Ford is 76 years old. A new Indiana Jones movie would in theory take place in the late 70s.
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Sep 19, 2018 16:54
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ONE YEAR LATER posted:Indiana Jones was born on July 1st, 1899. Harrison Ford is 76 years old. A new Indiana Jones movie would in theory take place in the late 70s. That would actually own pretty hard
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Sep 19, 2018 16:56
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Indiana Jones and the Disco Inferno
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Sep 19, 2018 16:59
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Indiana Jones meets Barnaby Jones, starring Harrison Ford and a CGI zombie version of Buddy Ebsen.
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Sep 19, 2018 17:06
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ONE YEAR LATER posted:Indiana Jones was born on July 1st, 1899. Harrison Ford is 76 years old. A new Indiana Jones movie would in theory take place in the late 70s. “The late 70’s” and “pulp archaeologist adventurer” seem so completely incompatible to me that I’m not sure I’d even bother to watch the film. I love Indy, but the 30s-40s setting is an essential aspect of the films. Even the 50’s setting of Crystal Skull felt a bit off. I can’t even imagine how bizarre and outdated an Indy movie set ~5 years before Raiders came out in the real world would feel. Big Mean Jerk fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Sep 19, 2018 |
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Sep 19, 2018 17:07
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I was given a dumb custom avatar a few years ago for even suggesting Crystal Skull was mediocre and inoffensive.
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Sep 19, 2018 17:09
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Big Mean Jerk posted:“The late 70’s” and “pulp archeologist adventurer” seem so completely incompatible to me that I’m not sure I’d even bother to watch the film. I love Indy, but the 30s-40s setting is an essential aspect of the films. Even the 50’s setting of Crystal Skull felt a bit off. I can’t even imagine how bizarre and outdated an Indy movie set ~5 years before Raiders came out in the real world would feel. Delay it for a few years and make a movie about how they are making a movie about Indiana Jones' adventures. Call it Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Circle complete.
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Sep 19, 2018 17:10
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ONE YEAR LATER posted:Indiana Jones was born on July 1st, 1899. Harrison Ford is 76 years old. A new Indiana Jones movie would in theory take place in the late 70s. HOW did this septuagenarian archaeologist wind up behind the wheel of a GTO Judge in the greatest coast-to-coast race to hit the screen to date? Find out, in Indiana Jones and the Great American Goofball Grand Prix
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Sep 19, 2018 17:15
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They should just do a whole movie that’s the frame story segments from the Young Indiana Jones Adventures expanded to two hours. 90s nostalgia is coming in a major way. His punk-rear end ingrate grandkids can be the Stranger Things kids.
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Sep 19, 2018 17:18
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Make that comic where Bigfoot is actually Chewbacca canon and Indy is tracking him down and then he tells his story to a young film student named George.
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Sep 19, 2018 17:21
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