The F Plus: Terrible Things Read with Enthusiam

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Rapidly Going Deaf > The F Plus: Terrible Things Read with Enthusiam

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

The Hellsing fanfiction that needs a new co-writer is a thing of beauty.

quote:

�Ew I�m gonna be sick!! Stupid lovey-dovey sappy people!!! Stupid tourist!!!!� thought Riot in disgust. Watching them would make anyone sick, so lost in their fat, grease guzzling lives! She bent down and went back to work on the stale blue BMW.

quote:

"Bruter!! This piece of poo poo isn�t worth it!!" she yelled out to the near-deaf man, banging the wrench against a sheet of corrugated iron.

"DAMNIT!! We're gonna lose customers at this rate!!!" he whined his high pitched voice reeding through his teeth as he banged the table he sat at with his saucepan fists.

"Well, if you'd buy some decent tools you wouldn't be in this rut," mumbled Riot as she tossed the wrench aside allowing it to clang against the concrete floor before walking away from the failed repair job.

"WHAT??!! DON'T YOU MEAN 'WE'???" yelled the older man unaware of his volume a column of heat rising from his balding scalp. It so palpable you could swear steam was blowing out his ears.

He wasn�t paying attention to Riot as he went into a dramatic fit. The only thing were his frustrations expelling from his lopsided lips.

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Sep 23, 2018

# ? Sep 23, 2018 01:10

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# ? May 31, 2024 03:33

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Sham bam bamina! posted:

The Hellsing fanfiction that needs a new co-writer is a thing of beauty.

quote:

�YOU!! CHILD O HELL!! TA NITE TA LARD�S JUSTICE DEMMANS YIR LIFE FORFEIT!!"

Oh Lard save me!

# ? Sep 23, 2018 01:17

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Fplus dramatic reading/audiobook when?

# ? Sep 23, 2018 05:03

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

T-man posted:

Fplus dramatic reading/audiobook when?

We should kickstart it if Twisted Part 2 ever comes out

# ? Sep 23, 2018 16:35

big dyke energy: Jul 29, 2006; Football? Yaaaay

Mods please change my name to Oedapussy.

I finally bought a case for the phone I bought in February so I could also finally put my Do You Even Lift Bros sticker on it :toot:

# ? Sep 24, 2018 00:02

Rageaholic: May 31, 2005; Old Town Road to EGOT

He entered her weeping opening, pushing himself as far into her warmth as he could :mrgw:

# ? Sep 24, 2018 02:52

gecs: Oct 23, 2010

I distinctly remember one of the F-Plus live readings using the phrase "oozing gash" while describing lady parts. That one's still tops for me when it comes to grotesque imagery, but weeping opening is definitely second

# ? Sep 24, 2018 03:06

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Rageaholic Monkey posted:

He entered her weeping opening, pushing himself as far into her warmth as he could

When I got to that line I had to stop the podcast and tell my non-listener partner about it. It is peak HEY, GET A LOAD OF THIS poo poo!

# ? Sep 24, 2018 03:13

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Rageaholic Monkey posted:

He entered her weeping opening, pushing himself as far into her warmth as he could

When I got to that line I had to stop the podcast and tell my non-listener partner about it. It is peak HEY, GET A LOAD OF THIS poo poo!

# ? Sep 24, 2018 03:21

Rageaholic: May 31, 2005; Old Town Road to EGOT

OOH MY NEGADUCK

MY NEGADUCK

PLEASE

I WANT YOU SO BADLY

PLEASE

PLEASURE ME WITH YOUR TONGUE

PLEEEEEEEASE

I'm listening to this in a restaurant (through headphones) and it's a good thing there's almost no one else here because I can't stop loving laughing at this dumb poo poo

# ? Sep 24, 2018 03:22

SirSlarty: Dec 23, 2003; that's wicked

Just came across the phrase "weeping skin condition" in a book about an environmental dystopia. Very sexy.

# ? Sep 24, 2018 05:01

pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

Sham bam bamina! posted:

"Bruter!! This piece of poo poo isn�t worth it!!" she yelled out to the near-deaf man, banging the wrench against a sheet of corrugated iron.

"DAMNIT!! We're gonna lose customers at this rate!!!" he whined his high pitched voice reeding through his teeth as he banged the table he sat at with his saucepan fists.

"Well, if you'd buy some decent tools you wouldn't be in this rut," mumbled Riot as she tossed the wrench aside allowing it to clang against the concrete floor before walking away from the failed repair job.

"WHAT??!! DON'T YOU MEAN 'WE'???" yelled the older man unaware of his volume a column of heat rising from his balding scalp. It so palpable you could swear steam was blowing out his ears.

He wasn�t paying attention to Riot as he went into a dramatic fit. The only thing were his frustrations expelling from his lopsided lips.

somebody cured their writer's block by watching a Sims argument

# ? Sep 24, 2018 15:49

font color sea: Jan 23, 2017; Expelliarmus!

Rageaholic Monkey posted:

OOH MY NEGADUCK

MY NEGADUCK

PLEASE

I WANT YOU SO BADLY

PLEASE

PLEASURE ME WITH YOUR TONGUE

PLEEEEEEEASE

I'm listening to this in a restaurant (through headphones) and it's a good thing there's almost no one else here because I can't stop loving laughing at this dumb poo poo

Hot white ducksauceeee

# ? Sep 24, 2018 16:13

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I cannot hate that Hellsing fanfic writer enough. I initially thought they wanted an editor. And alright, fine, that's a thing people need. But no, it seems like they want someone to just write the loving story based on their 100% barebones direction. I can see why their cowriter ran out on them. It's a loving Ideas Guy but with writing fiction.

Yes, this is what I am choosing to focus on here.

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Sep 24, 2018

# ? Sep 24, 2018 23:48

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Midnight Voyager posted:

I cannot hate that Hellsing fanfic writer enough. I initially thought they wanted an editor. And alright, fine, that's a thing people need. But no, it seems like they want someone to just write the loving story based on their 100% barebones direction. I can see why their cowriter ran out on them. It's a loving Ideas Guy but with writing fiction.

Yes, this is what I am choosing to focus on here.

Still better than the Arthur/Rugrats/Rocket Power guy, who sounded like a literal Porn Ideas Guy.

# ? Sep 25, 2018 04:57

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Lemon has a truly nasty little new game. Best played with a laptop touch pad.

Antivehicular posted:

Still better than the Arthur/Rugrats/Rocket Power guy, who sounded like a literal Porn Ideas Guy.

Oh, what a terrible thought.

# ? Sep 25, 2018 07:13

big dyke energy: Jul 29, 2006; Football? Yaaaay

If it's been awhile, go and listen to the Supernatural or Sherlock episodes (mostly the Supernatural one) where they read kink memes, which are always 99% pornography ideas guys and like two people actually writing things.

# ? Sep 25, 2018 22:42

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Listen to the Supernatural episode for that, but mostly listen to it for Dean's pee-pee and balls.

# ? Sep 26, 2018 03:14

Waffleman_: Jan 20, 2011; I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Kumquat yelling HARRY POTTER is always a delight

# ? Sep 26, 2018 06:04

pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

Waffleman_ posted:

Kumquat yelling HARRY POTTER is always a delight

he is an earworm factory
my name is the boob luva, the boobed luva

# ? Sep 26, 2018 15:10

Waffleman_: Jan 20, 2011; I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

I seriously want him to release an audiobook of Sorcerer's Stone.

# ? Sep 26, 2018 15:18

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

Waffleman_ posted:

I seriously want him to release an audiobook of Sorcerer's Stone.

Id prefer the enhanced "Socceror's Stone" edition

# ? Sep 26, 2018 15:35

Owl Inspector: Sep 14, 2011

I�d pay a lot of money for kumquat audiobooks

# ? Sep 26, 2018 15:58

ZorajitZorajit: Sep 15, 2013; No static at all...

Digirat posted:

I�d pay a lot of money for kumquat audiobooks

YES HI HELLO! CALL ME ISHMAEL.

# ? Sep 26, 2018 16:49

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

HEY! IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE WORRRST OF TIMES!

# ? Sep 26, 2018 18:37

bio347: Oct 29, 2012

The rest of the cast musing over top of the Harry Potter character/porn star list is art.

# ? Sep 26, 2018 18:56

big dyke energy: Jul 29, 2006; Football? Yaaaay

Waffleman_ posted:

Kumquat yelling HARRY POTTER is always a delight

HOW TO MAKE A HARRY POTTER BROOM, HOW TO MAKE A HARRY POTTER ROOM HOW TO DO TAI CHI HARRY POTTER!!!

by the way does anyone have the WAKE UP, YOU'RE UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK ringtone or party party party? I just realized it's very easy to add a custom alarm on my phone.

# ? Sep 26, 2018 23:32

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Does anyone have a link to the skit about the guy that realizes he's been drunk for 20 something years and finally sobers up and doesn't remember anything after age 12? I think it was Left Handed Radio but I couldn't find much of their stuff. I need to show it to someone.

# ? Sep 27, 2018 00:12

That Old Tree: Jun 24, 2012; nah

A Moose posted:

Does anyone have a link to the skit about the guy that realizes he's been drunk for 20 something years and finally sobers up and doesn't remember anything after age 12? I think it was Left Handed Radio but I couldn't find much of their stuff. I need to show it to someone.

That was LRH but I don't remember the episode. Bozarth posted an archive or something of LRH a month or two ago in this thread.

# ? Sep 27, 2018 00:27

Goon Danton: May 24, 2012; Don't forget to show my shitposts to the people. They're well worth seeing.

Digirat posted:

I’d pay a lot of money for kumquat audiobooks

Unironically I would pay full price for Kumquat Reads James Joyce

# ? Sep 27, 2018 00:38

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

A Moose posted:

Does anyone have a link to the skit about the guy that realizes he's been drunk for 20 something years and finally sobers up and doesn't remember anything after age 12? I think it was Left Handed Radio but I couldn't find much of their stuff. I need to show it to someone.

It�s in episode 200 part 2 as a clip

# ? Sep 27, 2018 00:47

Owl Inspector: Sep 14, 2011

I KNOW THIS IS A 101 NOVICE SITE, AND REALIZE THAT I'M NOT GETTING A SINGLE DIME FOR BEING HERE EITHER. I COULD BE OFF HELPING CLIENTS, OR WORKING ON FORMULATING NEW POTIONS AND RECIPES, YET THERE ARE SOME SINCERE FOLKS WHO HAVE PRESSING NEEDS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ACTUALLY WANT TO LEARN REAL SORCERY, NOT HARRY POTTER FART MAGIC

# ? Sep 27, 2018 01:26

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

Oh god where can i get that fart magic

# ? Sep 27, 2018 02:56

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

The Wizard Forums!

# ? Sep 27, 2018 03:01

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

big dyke energy posted:

HOW TO MAKE A HARRY POTTER BROOM, HOW TO MAKE A HARRY POTTER ROOM HOW TO DO TAI CHI HARRY POTTER!!!

by the way does anyone have the WAKE UP, YOU'RE UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK ringtone or party party party? I just realized it's very easy to add a custom alarm on my phone.

Here you go. E: That's just PSYCHIC ATTACK, I don't know about PARTY PARTY PARTY.

# ? Sep 27, 2018 03:24

SirSlarty: Dec 23, 2003; that's wicked

Goon Danton posted:

Unironically I would pay full price for Kumquat Reads James Joyce

Especially, at least, the first chapter of Finnegan's Wake.

# ? Sep 27, 2018 04:19

Waffleman_: Jan 20, 2011; I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

YES HI HELLO. FOR FIFTEEN YEARS, YOU HAVE WONDERED "WHO IS JOHN GALT?"

# ? Sep 27, 2018 04:28

big dyke energy: Jul 29, 2006; Football? Yaaaay

darthbob88 posted:

Here you go. E: That's just PSYCHIC ATTACK, I don't know about PARTY PARTY PARTY.

Thank you!!

# ? Sep 27, 2018 04:53

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

Just beware, you can never listen to the crystals episode ever again.

# ? Sep 27, 2018 04:56

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# ? May 31, 2024 03:33

McGlockenshire: Dec 16, 2005; GOLLOCKS!

big dyke energy posted:

by the way does anyone have the WAKE UP, YOU'RE UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK ringtone or party party party? I just realized it's very easy to add a custom alarm on my phone.

You might be able to extract PARTY PARTY PARTY from https://partypartypartyparty.party/

# ? Sep 27, 2018 05:03

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