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May 13, 2024 10:35
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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I feel like we should go.
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Sep 22, 2018 16:43
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
While the vampires lick blood from Countess Yvonne, you dart away. Toward the back of the room.
Then you spot something. A big wooden door, locked with an ancient iron lock. An old key is in the lock.
It looks like a prison cell. You turn the key and open the door.
Gabe is chained by his hands and feet to the back wall!
“Gabe!” you cry softly.
He stares at you coldly.
“Are you okay?” you ask him.
In answer, he shows you his neck.
“Oh, no!” you cry. There, freshly pierced, are two little holes. Two tiny marks that can mean only one thing.
He’s been bitten by a vampire!
quote:
“I told you it was a trap,” Gabe complains. “Now we’re both vampires. And we’ll never change back.”
“I don’t believe it,” you tell him. “There must be some way to change back. There’s got to be!”
Gabe shakes his head. “The vampire who bit me told me there wasn’t,” he says. “But –“ He breaks off.
“But what?” you urge.
“When he was taking me here, we passed by a sign on the wall that said ‘Midnight Shift – Keep Away. Danger.’ Under the sign was a shelf full of plastic bottles. The labels on them said ‘Garlic Spray.’”
“Garlic?” You frown. “In olden days, people wore garlic around their necks to keep vampires away.”
“I know. Look, could you get me out of these things?” Gabe asks. He nods at the cuffs on his hands and feet.
You look around for a key. But you hear footsteps.
You whirl around just as a frail, gray-haired old lady appears at the door.
“Aha!” she croaks. “So there you are!”
quote:
The old woman smiles at you. Fangs hang down over her wrinkled old lips.
You’re caught. Trapped in a cell, in a basement full of vampires. And a hideous female vampire is blocking the door!
You hate having to do this to an old woman, but...
You drive your shoulder into her.
She doesn’t budge. Not an inch. You bounce backwards. “Wow!” you exclaim. “Did you ever think of playing for the Dallas Cowboys?”
“Shhh!” she says urgently, putting a finger to her lips. “They’ll hear you!”
She glances over her shoulder to be sure no one’s coming. Then she takes the black iron key from the door. She uses it to unlock Gabe’s chains.
“If you want my help, come with me,” she whispers. She hobbles to the door and motions for you to follow.
You glance at Gabe. He shrugs. His expression is cool and distant. Like he doesn’t care what happens.
You’ll have to decide on your own.
If you trust the old woman, turn to PAGE 128.
If you want to lock her in the cell, turn to PAGE 11.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Forced to hibernate in a coffin for a hundred years.
Shamed out of the book for licking spilled blood off a vampire lady.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 22, 2018 21:12
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Follow that senior!
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Sep 22, 2018 22:07
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Let's trust another vampire since it has worked so well for us in the past.
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Sep 22, 2018 22:21
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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Let's trust another vampire since it has worked so well for us in the past.
This is a good idea.
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Sep 23, 2018 00:35
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Trust this vampire.
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Sep 23, 2018 01:50
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“Okay,” you whisper to the old woman. “Let’s go.”
The old vampire hobbles out of the cell and turns right. She leads you to a different part of the basement.
“In here,” she orders, pointing to another small, dark cell. “Chained to a table is an ancient book. It speaks of a cure for vampirism. My great-great-grandfather always swore it was foolproof.”
“Why haven’t you used it?” Gabe asks suspiciously.
The old woman smiles patiently. “Because then I would be human,” she replies. “I would no longer have eternal life. I am old. So I would die.”
Suddenly, you hear laughter. And footsteps.
“Hurry,” the old woman pleads. “I have left one match on the table for you. Light it and read quickly. I marked the page with a ribbon. Good luck.”
Then she closes the door behind her – leaving you in the dark!
quote:
Right now, your future looks dark. Like this cell. But don’t panic! Just find the book. And the match.
“Where’s the table?” whispers Gabe.
You feel a sharp pain. “Yeow! I just bumped into it.”
“Good work,” Gabe laughs.
You feel for the match on the tabletop. A splinter pierces your finger.
Gabe smells the blood seeping from your wound. He grabs your hand and licks it. You pull your hand away.
“Type O Positive. My favorite flavor,” Gabe murmurs, smacking his lips.
“Quit it,” you order. “Let’s get busy!”
At last you find the match and the ancient, leather-bound book. You open it to the page marked with the ribbon.
You strike the match. In its flare you read old-fashioned lettering. It says:
TO REVERSE VAMPIRISM –
But the rest of the page is torn out!
quote:
“It’s missing!” you cry in horror.
“Yeah, but look,” Gabe whispers. “There’s a loose torn page tucked in the back of the book.”
The match you’re holding is burning your fingers.
Gabe yanks out the missing page. It’s the one you need! You read:
FOR FOUR HOURS AND A DAY
DRINK GARLIC AND WATER
NO MORE
AND EAT NOTHING.
Then the match goes out.
“Hmm. So this says not to drink garlic and water,” Gabe remarks.
“No,” you argue. “It says drink garlic and water, no more. That means drink nothing but garlic and water.”
“That’s nuts,” Gabe retorts. “But it won’t matter – unless we can get out of here.”
The cell door swings open. And your heart sinks.
quote:
Standing in the doorway are the vampires. All of them!
Countess Yvonne stalks toward you. Right behind her are at least twenty others. Hungry for blood!
“Don’t be afraid,” Countess Yvonne says. “We only want to drain the rest of your fresh, human blood. Then you’ll truly be one of us. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.”
The last person who told you that was your dentist.
“Run!” you shout at Gabe.
But you can’t run. The vampires are pushing into the small room, filling the doorway.
You feel like you’re losing your mind. You cry, “I’m going batty!”
The countess stops in her tracks and starts laughing. “’Batty’! What a hoot!” The other vampires begin laughing uncontrollably. The corny pun has them in hysterics!
The bloodsuckers are distracted. Here’s your chance! You drop to your hands and knees and start crawling. Gabe follows you. You scramble like mad between the legs of the guffawing vampires.
Quick, make a decision. Which way now?
If you run back the way you came, turn to PAGE 18.
If you try to find the Garlic Spray, turn to PAGE 56.
Oh, come on, that was hardly even a pun! In fact, this calls for a contest. I want to hear your best vampire puns. Whoever comes up with the best gets their votes counted as double for the rest of the book.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
 Vampire Cure Instructions
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Forced to hibernate in a coffin for a hundred years.
Shamed out of the book for licking spilled blood off a vampire lady.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 23, 2018 21:41
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I don't think vampires are monsters, they've just got a Vlad reputation.
Let's get that garlic spray
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Sep 23, 2018 21:53
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- DeTosh
- Jan 14, 2010
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Slippery Tilde
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Is there any reason why the old lady couldn't have just told us the cure for vampirism? Like, fangs for adding an extra step to the problem.
Anyway, find the garlic spray. Those instructions wouldn't make sense if the cure is just waiting things out.
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Sep 24, 2018 00:09
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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I actually appreciate all of this vordplay, but since I fear that you garlic of these puns by now, I promise that I will spray no more.
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Sep 24, 2018 03:47
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Why do vampires tend to be bad at business?
Because they never attend stakeholder meetings.
Get the spray
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Sep 24, 2018 03:55
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Reflect on your humor. Wait, you can't?
Go now!
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Sep 24, 2018 04:30
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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These choices are driving me batty!
Find the spray
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Sep 24, 2018 04:45
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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It was a tough pick, but I have to award this one to Leraika. AceOfFlames was a damned close second though. Anyway, let's see about that Garlic Spray!
quote:
“Where was that Garlic Spray?” you shout at Gabe.
Without answering, he sprints down the hallway. At the end, you spot a staircase that leads up to the warehouse.
The two of you clamber up the steps. The vampires are in hot pursuit.
The warehouse is jammed with all kinds of vampire costumes and products. But finally you find the sign on the wall. The one Gabe told you about. MIDNIGHT SHIFT – KEEP AWAY. DANGER.
Beneath it are plastic bottles of Garlic Spray.
Desperately, you grab one of the bottles and flick off the cap. You whirl around – just as a balding vampire lunges at you. As he draws near, you realize: You know this vampire!
quote:
“Mr. Reuterly!” you cry.
You always kind of liked Mr. Reuterly. Even though he’s the Eyeball Man. For a moment, you hesitate. But when you see his fangs, you know what you must do.
You aim the plastic bottle of Garlic Spray at his face and start pumping the spray button.
“Take that, sucker!” you yell. The smell of garlic makes you want to puke.
A fine spray of liquid hits Reuterly in his eyes.
“Oowww!” he screams, doubling over in pain.
The other vampires don’t want any part of your garlic gun. You hear them moan and gag from the garlic as they scurry down the stairs.
You and Gabe high-five each other. Then you each grab two bottles of Garlic Spray and dash for the exit.
You don’t stop running until you get home.
Gabe collapses on the floor in your room.
“Phew!” he pants. “Close one!”
“Yeah,” you agree. “But it’s not over yet. We’re still vampires!”
quote:
You and Gabe argue about the cure. “Garlic and water – and no more,” you insist. “And we can’t eat anything, either. For four hours and a day.”
Gabe is convinced that drinking the Garlic Spray will kill you. “After all, we’re vampires!”
What if you’re wrong? What if Gabe’s right – and the Garlic Spray kills you?
You’ve got to decide.
If you drink the Garlic Spray, turn to PAGE 28.
If not, turn to PAGE 120.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Vampire Cure Instructions
Garlic Spray
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Forced to hibernate in a coffin for a hundred years.
Shamed out of the book for licking spilled blood off a vampire lady.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 24, 2018 21:24
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Why would we take Gabe's advice? He thinks vampires are weak to steak.
Besides, they already said you're not fully vampires earlier.
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Sep 24, 2018 22:25
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I feel like getting sprayed in the face with garlic spray would sting even if you were mortal.
chug chug chug
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Sep 24, 2018 23:05
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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Definitely drink that garlic spray
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Sep 25, 2018 03:03
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Bottoms up bitches
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Sep 25, 2018 04:40
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Drink!
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Sep 25, 2018 06:01
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
“I’m drinking the Garlic Spray,” you tell Gabe. “I really think you should too.”
“Okay, but you go first,” Gabe says slyly.
Each of you pours one bottle of Garlic Spray into a glass. You chug-a-lug yours.
“P-U,” Gabe complains. “Your breath is killing me!”
“It probably will,” you retort, “unless you drink yours too. Now!”
Gabe gulps his down. Pretty soon, the whole room stinks of garlic. It smells so bad, your mom comes barging in to see what’s wrong.
“What’s going on in here?” she asks, holding her nose. “You smell like that creepy man who owns Scary Stuff. What’s his name? Mr. Reuterly.”
How can that be? you wonder.
Mr. Reuterly wouldn’t use garlic. He’s a vampire!
“Yes,” your mom goes on. “He used to eat garlic all the time. He told me it was to ward off vampires. Can you imagine? Then, a few months ago, he suddenly stopped.”
quote:
“Wow! That’s probably when Reuterly became a vampire himself!” Gabe declares.
You decide to tell your mom the truth – about the Vampire in a Can, and Mr. Reuterly, and the warehouse full of vampires, and everything.
“Yeah, and I’m the Easter Bunny,” your mom says when you finish. She rolls her eyes. “Halloween is coming up – not April Fools’ Day!”
You plead with her: “You’ve got to believe me, Mom. Really! Check out my fangs.”
You open your mouth wide. Your mom peers in.
She gasps.
quote:
“See? I told you I have fangs!” you exclaim to your mom.
“Sorry,” she says, laughing. “I don’t see any fangs. But you certainly need to brush those teeth!”
No fangs? Brush your teeth?
You rush to the mirror. You see yourself! Your reflection is back! And the fangs are gone.
“Yes!” you cry, pumping a fist in the air. “The garlic worked! I’m normal again!”
Gabe races to the mirror and checks out his own reflection.
“Yeah!” he cheers. “We’re normal! We’re normal!”
“Thank goodness!” you rejoice. “Because being a vampire is a real pain in the neck!”
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Vampire Cure Instructions
Garlic Spray
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Forced to hibernate in a coffin for a hundred years.
Shamed out of the book for licking spilled blood off a vampire lady.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
Our options posted:
- Don't open the packet.
- Go see the Eyeball Man.
- Go to Scary Stuff and drink the packets.
- Take Gabe's advice and avoid Sanguine Road.
- Go home to get help.
- Lock the old woman in the cell.
- Go back the way you came.
- Don't drink the Garlic Spray.
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Sep 25, 2018 14:16
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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That was a fast-acting cure.
Let's see what happens if we don't open the packet.
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Sep 25, 2018 14:22
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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I guess the key is now to convince our parents to buy us a bunch of garlic for the next 28 hours? Being a kid is more inconvenient than being a vampire. In fact, don't open the packet this time. Things are hard enough.
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Sep 25, 2018 15:15
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Let's nip this in the bud and avoid the entire story at the beginning.
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Sep 25, 2018 16:33
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I kinda wanna see what happens if we're cruel to the elderly.
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Sep 25, 2018 17:19
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- Black Feather
- Apr 14, 2012
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Call someone who cares.
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Let's nip this in the bud and avoid the entire story at the beginning.
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Sep 25, 2018 18:48
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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A bit contrived how the old vampire lady didn't just straight up tell us the cure, even though she marked the page with a ribbon.
I can only assume that she promised she would never tell anyone the cure, and as a vampire she is supernaturally bound to her oath, but pointing out the book allows her to circumvent that.
I wanna see what happens when we go to Scary Stuff and drink all the packets.
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Sep 26, 2018 16:26
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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I want to exhaust this current route. Let's chug all the packets.
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Sep 26, 2018 19:01
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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So, did anyone wonder what was going on with this book's cover art? This is what.
quote:
Open the packet? you wonder.
“No, I’ll pass,” you decide, shaking your head. “I mean, seriously. It might be poison or something.”
Gabe tosses you the packet nervously.
“This gives me the creeps,” he says. “I don’t even want to hold it.”
“Don’t give it to me,” you object, throwing it back to him.
Gabe lets it fall to the floor. “I don’t want it.”
Just then, your dog comes trotting into the room. She snatches up the packet in her teeth.
“Hey – no, Fifi!” you scold your dog, a big black poodle. “Put that down. No!”
But you’re too late. Fifi tears into the packet. Something red drips from her mouth.
“Yuck!” Gabe says. “She’s eating it! And it looks like blood!”
quote:
Fifi slurps up the red liquid in the packet.
“No, Fifi!” you scold, trying to take it away.
“GRRRRR!”
She growls at you angrily, her eyes gleaming.
“Uh-oh,” Gabe says. “What’s she doing that for?”
“I don’t know,” you answer, worried. Fifi has never growled at you in her life.
“GRRRRRRR!”
When the packet is empty, Fifi drops it to the floor. Then she barks and runs to the kitchen door. She jumps against the door with her front paws, clawing and digging.
“I think she wants out,” Gabe whispers.
“Too bad,” you say. “She can’t go out if she’s going to act like this.”
“GRRRRR! RUFFF! RUFFF!”
Fifi snarls and barks at you, baring her teeth.
“Oh, no!” you cry. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. “She’s growing fangs!”
quote:
Fifi snarls at you viciously. Her lips curl back, exposing new, curved fangs. They’re at least twice as long as they used to be – and razor sharp.
Like a vampire’s.
Fifi lunges at you. You back up, shocked. Your own dog is attacking you!
With her weight, Fifi easily knocks you down. For an instant, you’re sure she’s going to bite your neck.
You roll away from her, cowering.
“HOWWWWWWL!”
Her howling moan sounds crazy. She leaps at the kitchen door one more time. This time she breaks it down!
“S-S-Stop her!” Gabe stutters.
You’re so shaken, you stand there for a second.
Then you grab Fifi’s leash. “Come on!” you shout, snapping out of it. “We’ve got to get her back.”
But just as you start to leave, the phone rings.
If you answer the phone, turn to PAGE 15.
If you let it ring and run after Fifi, turn to PAGE 41.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Trapped under a dead body and buried alive.
Arrested and sealed away in solitary confinement forever.
Drained of our remaining blood by Mr. Reuterly.
Cremated after falling into a hunger coma.
Transformed into a bat without knowing how to change back.
Forced to hibernate in a coffin for a hundred years.
Shamed out of the book for licking spilled blood off a vampire lady.
Achievements
Still Better Than Twilight: Got a happy ending despite being a murderous vampire.
Steak in the Heart: Found a way to live as a vampire without killing people.
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Sep 26, 2018 22:41
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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hahaha it's a loving vampoodle
Let's pick up the phone, maybe it's eyeball man
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Sep 26, 2018 23:46
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Wasn't the dog on the cover white?
Answer the phone.
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Sep 27, 2018 00:07
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- Snipee
- Mar 27, 2010
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What are you guys doing? We have to save our dog! Chase Fifi
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Sep 27, 2018 03:59
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- Glass Punkbull 141
- Jan 9, 2008
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This is the face of a winner. This is what winning looks like.
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Hi, I'm Fred, and I'm looking for my dog.
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Sep 27, 2018 05:16
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 13, 2024 10:35
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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What are you guys doing? We have to save our dog!
But what if KBBL's gonna give me something stupid? Answer the darn phone.
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Sep 27, 2018 09:32
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Sep 22, 2018 15:37
