|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:Here are the relevant parts from the code:  What if I gently caress a pig? You can't do that. What if...the pig fucks me?
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 17:18 |
|
|
cheetah7071 posted:Outside the throne room was an antechamber where each petitioner would get asked a bunch of routine questions. "Are you a citizen or a foreigner? Did you bring any gifts for the king? Have you ever hosed a horse?" you know, like the "are you gonna overthrow the US government" box on the old US entry forms
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:09
|
|
|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:Here are the relevant parts from the code: I'm also noticing that putting your penis in an ox rather than vice versa has no punishment. Presumably the theory is that you have proven your worth by not promptly dying horribly. Jeb Bush 2012 posted:you know, like the "are you gonna overthrow the US government" box on the old US entry forms I still want to know whether anyone checked "yes". Goatse James Bond fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Oct 18, 2018 |
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:12
|
|
|
cheetah7071 posted:Why is having sex with a pig or a dog worse than a horse or mule Smaller, less manly dicks. If you get hosed by a mule, you will KNOW you were hosed.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:22
|
|
|
GreyjoyBastard posted:I still want to know whether anyone checked "yes". Just last month, in fact. https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2018-10-01/cancer-patient-accidentally-labels-herself-a-terrorist-delaying-bucket-list-trip The system duly rejected the application for answering yes.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:28
|
|
|
fishmech posted:Just last month, in fact. I probably should have added an "intentionally" in there, but of course the sainted fishmech had an answer to this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 00:47
|
|
|
People seem to be interested in Hittite sex laws, so here's the whole section about doing the drat thing:quote:187. If a man have intercourse with a cow, it is a capital crime, he shall die. They shall lead him to the king's hall. But the king may kill him, the king may grant him his life. But he shall not approach the king. The next part is the one I've already quoted. Some of that is really progressive, some is not, and some is just a little weird.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 01:18
|
|
|
So yeah, as far as Hittites and loving animals: Pigs and dogs = death Horses and mules = totally cool Cows = up to the King
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 01:21
|
|
|
The thing reminds me of this old Roman joke. ""A man comes home and sees his mother and his son having sex, so he starts beating his son. The son cries out, in protest, "You gently caress my mother all the time! But I gently caress yours and you beat me!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 01:25
|
|
|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:Here are the relevant parts from the code: Does 'man' equate to 'person' in this context, or did they not bother to legislate re women?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 02:34
|
|
|
Epicurius posted:The thing reminds me of this old Roman joke. That reminds me of the oldest sumerian joke: "Once there was a hot lady. She farted on her husband's lap. FARTS LOL"
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 02:55
|
|
|
Edgar Allen Ho posted:That reminds me of the oldest sumerian joke: There's also "too bad ladies, this dick only has eyes for men now"
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 03:06
|
|
|
Weep, you cows. My penis now penetrates bulls' behinds.
Grevling fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Oct 18, 2018 |
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 03:35
|
|
|
Next time I post wrong in this thread please probate a sheep.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 03:43
|
|
|
The Lone Badger posted:Does 'man' equate to 'person' in this context, or did they not bother to legislate re women? It's definitely men. However, having legislation that says that any man and any woman can have sex as long as both consent and a woman can inherit property is way more progressive than many Western European law codes 3000 years later.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 03:46
|
|
|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:So yeah, as far as Hittites and loving animals: Dads and sons in a threeway = cool beans
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 04:56
|
|
|
cheetah7071 posted:Why is having sex with a pig or a dog worse than a horse or mule this feels very much like something where the king, or some lower-level lawgiver, would make a somewhat arbitrary judgment on edge cases present in the original law, and that particular edge case would then be recorded straight into the code rather than as a separate body like modern judicial precedent is so king A says "we're gonna kill pigfuckers" and then someone says "oh yeah? how about dogfuckers, like john over there" and the king says "yeah them too!!" king A dies, king B is satisfied with these rules until his best friend is brought before the court on charges of being a horsefucker, with the accusers reasoning that this is a logical extension of the "pig and also dog fucker law", but he's not executing his buddy, so he says horses are fine, and then the accusers say "well actually there was also a mule" so mules also end up exempt. then he promptly dies and king C take over. C doesn't want his dad's creepy friend around anymore, so he says that even though the creepy horse guy wasn't executed, he's still not allowed around the king. king C then ends up presiding over a case where some poor farmer was raped by an ox, and the farmer's neighbor tries to get him executed under this increasingly complicated law so he can grab the farmer's land. king C thinks that idea is extremely stupid so now this scenario gets written into the law as specifically unpunishable, so that nobody tries again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 05:06
|
|
|
Jazerus posted:this feels very much like something where the king, or some lower-level lawgiver, would make a somewhat arbitrary judgment on edge cases present in the original law, and that particular edge case would then be recorded straight into the code rather than as a separate body like modern judicial precedent is Could be a ritual cleanliness thing? Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:People seem to be interested in Hittite sex laws, so here's the whole section about doing the drat thing: Number 197 is also a provision in the mosaic law. Deuteronomy or Leviticus I think. Interesting if secular laws were being incorporated into the Torah.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 11:16
|
|
|
As a jew, I think this is my time to point out the extremely important and holy law about ladies not grabbing their husbands by the balls as a means of intervening in a fight. That law isn't silly like these, it's really important and happens all the time. What kind of world would it be if any old wife could just stop her husband from getting in a fight by ball-grabbing?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 12:53
|
|
|
It seems like “fucks horses” is a quality about a person that would be generally known.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 13:39
|
|
|
Horses, sure. But horse?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 13:42
|
|
|
ThatBasqueGuy posted:Horses, sure. But horse? You gently caress one horse you gently caress all horses
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 14:00
|
|
|
Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:So yeah, as far as Hittites and loving animals: I'm picturing someone studying for the Hittite Bar Exam using a handy guide with pictures of various types of animals with "sex yes/sex no" next to them.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 14:26
|
|
|
Cessna posted:I'm picturing someone studying for the Hittite Bar Exam using a handy guide with pictures of various types of animals with "sex yes/sex no" next to them. don't write it on your hand
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 15:18
|
|
|
FAUXTON posted:You gently caress one horse you gently caress all horses you gently caress one horse, you gently caress everyone that horse has ever hosed
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 15:19
|
|
|
euphronius posted:It seems like “fucks horses” is a quality about a person that would be generally known. As Vice President and noted horsefucker Mike Pence can personally attest.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 15:24
|
|
|
Lord Hydronium posted:What if...the pig fucks me? New thread title?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 15:26
|
|
|
Edgar Allen Ho posted:As a jew, I think this is my time to point out the extremely important and holy law about ladies not grabbing their husbands by the balls as a means of intervening in a fight. That law isn't silly like these, it's really important and happens all the time. What kind of world would it be if any old wife could just stop her husband from getting in a fight by ball-grabbing? Nah, she can grab her husband. It's the other dude's balls she can't grab. Sensible policies for a happier Israel. Mr Enderby fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Oct 18, 2018 |
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 16:05
|
|
|
There is a saying in Finland: "Do not try to teach your father how to gently caress"
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 21:16
|
|
|
How often does that come up in conversation?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 21:31
|
|
|
Cessna posted:How often does that come up in conversation? Don't speak Finnish but I assume it's a saying meaning "shut up and don't try to tell me what to do I've been doing this longer than you've been alive"
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2018 21:32
|
|
|
FreudianSlippers posted:There is a saying in Finland: Between this and the famous "viperless milk" pun, I really want to learn Finnish.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 00:32
|
|
|
Historifacts #286: The Roman Legion was so deadly it could slaughter Jews just by walking slowly towards them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmnlMjlkEQg
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 02:45
|
|
|
Is Kagan’s work still the go to account for the Peloponnesian War? I’ve heard mixed things.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 04:00
|
|
|
Thucydides is the go-to account for the Peloponnesian War.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 07:13
|
|
|
Vincent Van Goatse posted:Between this and the famous "viperless milk" pun, I really want to learn Finnish. After learning Chinese I thought that was the most bizarrely idiom-filled language but apparently Finnish gives it a run for its money so I know what I'm learning next time I get it into my head I need a new language
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 10:22
|
|
|
Cessna posted:How often does that come up in conversation? cheetah7071 posted:Don't speak Finnish but I assume it's a saying meaning "shut up and don't try to tell me what to do I've been doing this longer than you've been alive" Correct. It's pretty common.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 12:18
|
|
|
In UK, USA and Australia we have the saying "teach you grandma to suck eggs" which is lame. Some googling into it seems the Scots have a similar saying "teach your father to get bairns (children)" Which I think is better. What's the deal with the hittites? From memory they were the first people from the steppes to travel south down into the middle east, is that correct? Were they early indo-euro aryans (of the language and culture type? Probably way off but it's been years since I've read anything about their origins)
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 14:11
|
|
|
Fo3 posted:In UK, USA and Australia we have the saying "teach you grandma to suck eggs" which is lame. Some googling into it seems the Scots have a similar saying "teach your father to get bairns (children)" Which I think is better. I can't answer much, but yes they spoke an indo-european language. Their whole family branch is sadly extinct. Or happily since they were apparently a nation of nasty rear end horsefuckers.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 14:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 17:18 |
|
|
fantastic in plastic posted:Thucydides is the go-to account for the Peloponnesian War. How about something written within the last 20 years?
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2018 16:56
|
|