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This mission felt a lot like another mission back in Warcraft: O&H, so it needed to be run by a commander similar to Nigel. These levels are getting more and more difficult, but after a few more of these, the difficulty curve of Warcraft games goes significantly down, so I'm looking forward to pushing through these last toughies. And tying up a lot of loose ends!
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# ? Sep 30, 2018 04:36 |
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# ? Jun 1, 2024 16:34 |
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RIP vilefeast
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# ? Sep 30, 2018 05:51 |
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PurpleXVI posted:Gary remains the best character. I can't disagree for fear of the whip. Mildly disappointed King Gary didn't help wrecking buildings with his Royal Arms.
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# ? Oct 1, 2018 09:20 |
Gary reminds me of someone in the war universe but I can't figure out who. It has been bugging me. Actually maybe he reminds me of a character from darkest dungeon. Blacksmith maybe?
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# ? Oct 1, 2018 17:09 |
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Draenor, Part Three: The Little Blue Men From Space Lore for... Firefist Blitzkrieg Man, are we still talking about Draenor? Of course we are! I mean, this is Beyond the Dark Portal, guys. We have to talk about what's actually beyond that thing! So we had giant plants, elemental titans, rock giants, It was on Argus that a race of super smart blue goat people called the eredar lived. They were so smart that Sargeras, fallen titan lord of the Burning Legion, decided to corrupt them to have them lead his demonic armies. Of course, these beings were some of the most intelligent creatures in the known universe, so they wouldn't fall victim to- Oh, no wait, nevermind. Yeah, they got corrupted as gently caress.* Good news, though! Not all of the eredar bought Sargeras's classic, "Oh hey guys, I'm totally a good guy," routine. A group of resistance members, assisted by a bunch of magical wind chime gods*, boarded a... let's see here... spaceship. Okay. So these eradar boarded a spaceship and flew around the cosmos looking for a place to escape the Burning Legion and their former kin. Because these eradar were super dramatic, they started calling themselves the "exiled ones," or "draenei" in their tongue. After thousands of years of this running, the ship ran out of magical wind chime juice and crashed on the surface of a new planet. Being super cool and not vain at all, they decided to name the planet "Draenor" after their people and their personal exile. "Hey, everyone! Nice planet we have here. Thank you for keeping it warm for us!" It's been nearly 200 years since the orcs beat back the ogres and took control of the land, but the draenei didn't know any of that. They kept their distance from the green men (I mean, green?! Gross. Get a good color like blue, you savages.) and built a city over the massive nothingness that was formerly Goria. This became the capital for the draenei: Shattrath, or "Dwelling of Light" in their tongue. Yeah, they like naming things. I didn't even mention all the other crap they named: Genedar, Auchenai, Rangari, Karabor... the list goes on. Over time, the draenei have some minor skirmishes with the locales of Draenor, but they have mostly carved out their place in the world. Okay, sure there's some... slavery. And umm... unwanted intercourse? I'm not typing it out. Blizzard, you can't make me type it out. Either way, we get some orc-draenei children (like Garona!) Is there a version of Godwin's Law that applies to fantasy and unnecessary sexual content? Relationships on Draenor at this point are at the point of a shaky peace. There are small clashes between the various peoples, but nothing that comes to blows so seriously as to be of note. However, during this time, one of the Legion's new eradar commanders, Kil'jaeden, was busy tracking the escaped draenei. After the crash of the magical spaceship, the draenei were quickly located and a spy was sent to learn about the exiled ones and their new world. He learned about the orcs and their mighty strength and ferocity. He also had a pretty good guess that they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed. If he could turn them to his cause, Kil'jaeden could have them destroy the draenei for him! ...for reasons. He just needed to find an agent on the inside. Someone that would open the door for him to work his demonic evil on the race... ”MORE POWER! I WOULD TRADE MY SOUL FOR MORE POWER!” Well, that was easy. *A story for another Let's Play.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 14:05 |
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Azzur posted:
If you told me that's the actual line I would 100% believe that.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:04 |
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Azzur posted:Relationships on Draenor at this point are at the point of a shaky peace. There are small clashes between the various peoples, but nothing that comes to blows so seriously as to be of note. However, during this time, one of the Legion's new eradar commanders, Kil'jaeden, was busy tracking the escaped draenei. After the crash of the magical spaceship, the draenei were quickly located and a spy was sent to learn about the exiled ones and their new world. He learned about the orcs and their mighty strength and ferocity. He also had a pretty good guess that they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed. If he could turn them to his cause, Kil'jaeden could have them destroy the draenei for him! ...for reasons. He just needed to find an agent on the inside. Someone that would open the door for him to work his demonic evil on the race... I think the demon in Johnny Bravo explained why best. Unfortunately I can't find any youtube fragments with his explanation. But it boils down to: "It's more EVIL if I make him do it!" I miss Johnny Bravo.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:37 |
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Azzur posted:They kept their distance from the green men (I mean, green?! Gross. Get a good color like blue, you savages.) <extremely pushing-glasses-up-nose voice> The orcs weren't green yet when the Draenei first arrived. They turned green later, because of the thing that the Legion (via Gul'dan) tricked them into doing.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:11 |
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Walrus Pete posted:<extremely pushing-glasses-up-nose voice> The orcs weren't green yet when the Draenei first arrived. They turned green later, because of the thing that the Legion (via Gul'dan) tricked them into doing. Brown is a poo poo color! These lore updates are always nice. As are the file names for your pics. As are the pics themselves, of course! Soooo, a space goat mates with a devolved rock... And yes, there's far too much rape in the Warcraft backstory. Especially dragon rape.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 21:00 |
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I love the lore updates and... is the Warcraft universe really that rapey? Keep in mind that I never read any of the books or anything. Like post Frozen Throne and the game manuals and a few looks at the WoW wiki when someone's mentioned something spectacularly absurd I know nothing. Fantasy in general has an issue with unwanted sex scenes, though, especially in anything that tries to be a bit dark and serious. "Well we gotta maim some people and then write about them loving, otherwise how will people get how dark this universe is?" That sort of stuff mars a lot of otherwise-good books.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 22:57 |
The very first bit of Warcraft EU, Day of the Dragon, featured dragon rape, so... yyyyeah, while it doesn’t come up very often, it still comes up more than a decent chunk of the fan base would like. If nothing else, the movie handled Garona better by heavily implying that Medivh knocked up her mother when he traveled solo to Draenor prior to opening up the Dark Portal.
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# ? Oct 3, 2018 23:57 |
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I mean, the orcs had dragons in wc2 because they enslaved the queen and forced her into egg laying servitude. I'm pretty sure I remember that in the manual. Its deffo in the dragon lair Sprite at least. So not explicitly rape, but skeevy child rearing has been in the series from darn near the start.
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# ? Oct 4, 2018 03:37 |
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But WC2 dragons were more like beasts, it wasn't until BtDP that Deathwing was suggested to be intelligent.
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# ? Oct 4, 2018 08:40 |
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THE BAR posted:But WC2 dragons were more like beasts, it wasn't until BtDP that Deathwing was suggested to be intelligent. Good thing WoW set us straight regarding the intelligent bit.
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# ? Oct 4, 2018 10:35 |
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Darth TNT posted:Good thing WoW set us straight regarding the intelligent bit. Good ol' Jaynarion Lenonelth, Dragon Aspect of Death and Terrible Boss Encounters.
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# ? Oct 4, 2018 15:40 |
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Regalingualius posted:The very first bit of Warcraft EU, Day of the Dragon, featured dragon rape, so... yyyyeah, while it doesn’t come up very often, it still comes up more than a decent chunk of the fan base would like. I'm not gonna lie I haven't given a gently caress about Warcraft lore since like vanilla wow and even then it was more like ooooh this that place I remember from here cool. But wasn't Garona half human and something something that's why good spy? The problem with lores is eventually the people who made them move on and the fanbase moves in and we all know that every fanbase is awful. Anyways nice lp thanks for time OP look good as samurai
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 00:09 |
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ZeusCannon posted:But wasn't Garona half human and something something that's why good spy? She was originally half-human in Warcraft: O&H, but then that would imply that the war between humans and orcs was going on longer than they wanted once the games started getting churned out. Azeroth went from "generic fantasy land" to "Deviantart OC, Do Not Steal" pretty quickly. I think it was actually Warcraft II that retconned her to being half-human, half draenei? If not that, then I want to saaaaaay... Maybe WC3? Yeah, maybe I should sit down and look at a timeline of "Lore" as it was created to see all the revisions and additions over the years.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 06:56 |
It doesn’t help that so much of the older stuff has been indirectly declared non-canon by more recent works. Case in point: in older lore, Medivh’s mom essentially had a one-night stand with Stormwind’s highest-ranking Mage after a brief courtship, and told him to his face the morning after they had consummated it that she had only used him to ensure their son would be a magical prodigy. She then dumped baby Medivh on him after she gave birth, which worked right until Medivh got overwhelmed one night and killed his father in the magical backlash. The most recent reinterpretation, however, recast her from being the “great hero, awful person” that she’d previously been treated as to a more standard anti-hero with a gushy twoo wuv relationship with Medivh’s dad.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 07:24 |
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Azzur posted:Maybe WC3? Did wc3 even have orc women? It's true you don't see many orc women. In fact they are so alike in voice and appearance that they are often mistaken for orc men. This gives rise to the belief that there are no orc women and the orc just spring out of holes in the ground, which is of course ridiculous. lobster22221 fucked around with this message at 09:26 on Oct 5, 2018 |
# ? Oct 5, 2018 09:19 |
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lobster22221 posted:Did wc3 even have orc women? I know one showed up in advertising for the game at times but they never showed up in the game at least.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 11:31 |
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Azzur posted:She was originally half-human in Warcraft: O&H, but then that would imply that the war between humans and orcs was going on longer than they wanted once the games started getting churned out. Azeroth went from "generic fantasy land" to "Deviantart OC, Do Not Steal" pretty quickly. I think it was actually Warcraft II that retconned her to being half-human, half draenei? If not that, then I want to saaaaaay... Maybe WC3? I want to say in War 2 she was unchanged, or that at least she was half orc, half mystery. Draenei (as the broken) didn't pop up until the Frozen Throne, unless they were revealed in some novel. Half orc, half blueberry Granona was a WoW-era invention.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 16:25 |
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In War1 she was half-human, half-orc because in War1 the war lasted 10/15 years so that + fantasy genetics means you can slip and slide whatever you want. In 2 the Draenei were named but Garona was still half-human. In 3:TFT the Draenei finally showed up as Lost Ones, not Broken. WoW: TBC retconns the Draenei to being eredar, the Draenei seen in TFT into being Lost Ones, and retcons Akama who showed as a Lost One into a middle stage called Broken. By now the timeline has shrunk considerably so Garona's heritage doesn't make sense even with fantasy don't-think-about-it. So now she's half-draenei convinced in-canon she's half-human despite the face tendrils. This came in everyone's favorite storyline of Me'dan.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 17:20 |
They even went and invented a possible handwave for her being half-human despite the conflicting timelines by introducing the concept of warlocks being able to rapidly age someone by draining their life when they’re still a kid before that hot mess with the comic’s last arcs came out.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 18:57 |
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If nothing else, we can all be glad that Blizzard officially retconned Med'an out of existence with the Warcraft Chronicles books. I think it's Volume 3 that lists Med'an in the index as being on "Page 404". The book is only around 200 pages.
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# ? Oct 5, 2018 19:45 |
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Alright, I've got my marathon to run tomorrow and I didn't get done nearly all the work I wanted to before then. Good news, I have a day off of work coming up, so we'll be seeing our first Human Science Theater 3000 update this week! ...the next main update is going to have to wait. Turns out that the next mission was harder than I thought it was.
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# ? Oct 6, 2018 04:54 |
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Human Science Theater 3000: Part One For those reading through the archives, this Miscellaneous Update contains small spoilers for the main playthrough. Please read up to Episode 17: Firefist Blitzkreig to avoid having story elements ruined for you. For the rest of you interested in seeing the Warcraft movie... SPOILERS : I know that things have been difficult lately- : We've lost Gaz. : Gary an' I pissed off an orc built like a drat juggernaut. : … : Well, King Gareth has no complaints. : Kalassori, could you please get to the point. : Of course, Captain Varin Wells. : By me father's beard, I'm growin' sick o' the names an' titles. : What if I had a spell that allowed us to view the First War from a new perspective? : Ooh? This one o' them dirty elf spells I've heard all about? Gary, popcorn! : ...red vines. : Ach, I told ye not ta eat the plants growin' 'round 'ere! : I assume that's a sign to go ahead? : Well, we have to wait for orders anyway... Put it on, Kala. : Eh? : This is a Universal spell, Master Firefist. Something that most wizards with a little power at their fingertips could access. : Sounds flimsy enough fer me to gloss right over! : Wait, that's Ironforge? : You haven't been? : 'Oi! What's wrong with Ironforge, Cap'n? : Nothing... it's just so... I mean. Cold. Doesn't it lie along the equator? : Well, actually because of- : Uh, Cap'n, didya notice th' mountains? Tha' means cold. : But- : SHH! More popcorn, Gare-bear. : Is that-? : It is! : …! : Th' Great Forge! : ...that's not what we're talking about, Ruku. : That's Anduin Lothar. A decidedly much younger Anduin Lothar. : How far back did this spell of yours take us? : More importantly, what is that? : Are ye two gonna talk th' whole time? Tha's a boomstick. : A what? : Ugh. Interruptin' more an' more. Lad, jus' shut yer yap an hand me more o' those red vines. : I can confirm that those are not edible, Master Firefist. King Woodsbane. : Har, har, har! : I do not understand what is so funny about this boomstick. : Aye, ye will, lass. Trust me. There's this dwarf named Chekhov tha' ye should meet sometime. : You might wanna head home, big man. Someone's attacked one of your garrisons. : This is it then. The start of the First War. : And we dwarves knew about it first! : Ruku, the messenger was meant for Lothar, that doesn't mean- : AND WE DWARVES KNEW ABOUT IT FIRST! : ...Quiet. : Right, sorry, bestest buddy. : Stormwind, my birthplace. Home to countless- : That does not look to be Stormwind during the First War. : Well... there are some differences... : Lad, Stormwind was nae tha' big even before th' orcs burnt it to th' ground. : An entire garrison, and no one saw anything? : We did find someone. : He was searching the bodies, here in the barracks. : Wait, Cap'n break this down for me. Th' humans were attacked at a garrison near Stormwind and no one saw anything? : That is what they just said. : Yeah, but near Stormwind? I dun understand. Didn't th' orcs come from th' Swamp o' Sorrows? No one saw them? Or was it close to th' swamp an' then they brought th' bodies ta Stormwind because... why? : … : drat straight, Gare-bear. : Is that what you humans do for interrogations? Just walk in and start assaulting people? : And he's a member of the Kirin Tor?! For shame, Lord Lothar. : Completely unrealistic. A competant mage would never allow her voice to be stolen away so easily. A flick of the wrist would send Lothar flying. : It's called the suspension o' disbelief, lass! : This is a look into an alternate history! : Tha' don't mean tha' ya gotta be a spell snob about th' whole thing. : I do have to question Lord Lothar's – Light rest his soul – judgment here. This mage is here to examine the bodies. Hardly anything to start assaulting a man over. : Examine th' bodies? Why would ya need a mage fer tha'?! : Gah! : … : No, no, no, lad, dun do it. : Ugh! Kala, ain't there some sorta magic fer this sort o' thing? : Yes. Yes, there absolutely is. : I'm so glad that sticking your fingers down the throats of the corpses have revealed... green gas. : I'm not really sure what was just proved here. Were all the men killed by poison? : ...Poison does not work that way. : We must summon the Guardian. : He's calling on Medivh for this?! : Ach! Tha' wizard what betrayed all o' ye humans durin' the First War? : I'm sure there must have been some confusion. Medivh was a fine man. Great parties. : You got invited to one of those?! : Are we really watchin' people ridin' on horses? : It shows the advancement of story. : It bores me ta tears is what it does! : What in the name of the Light was that thing? : And all of that travel took us to... the Lion's Pride Inn in Goldshire. : Is that far from Stormwind? : Well... : Wait, I haven't been following, who is that young human? : ...I am trying very hard to watch this in peace. : King Llane? What is he doing in Goldshire? : Good beer? : And... uh... : That would be Taria Wrynn, queen of Stormwind. : I... don't remember her. : Pfft. Typical male-centric mindset, am I right, Gary? : … : Dad. : Thank you, son. : No, no, no, what. : I agree, tha' was a hamfisted way o' establishin' their relationship. : Not that! Anduin Lothar didn't have any children! : Huh? Kala, tha' right? : I have heard of no descendants of Lothar's. : Well, who th' hell wrote this reality? : So who are you, mage? : My name is Khadgar. : WHAT?! : What? Who's tha'? : Literally the man we've been traveling with? : Master Khadgar, archmage of the Kirin Tor. : Never heard o' 'im. But I dun trust this boy what can barely grow a beard. : You talk to your queen. : You are my sister first. : So, ya think tha' in this world, people jus' gotta announce their relationships with each other? : Queen Taria was not related to Lord Lothar. : Interesting point tha' ya make, Kala, who is my elven friend. : I know of no records to indicate that Lothar had any siblings. : What do you think, Gary, my illegitimate bastard son? : … : The Guardian is summoned. : I thought tha' Medivh an' Lothar were friends. . They are. ...Er, they were. : So why th' need fer th' whole grandstandin' with th' royal ring? : That ring looks ridiculous. : Travel montage! Take a shot! : I am unfamiliar with this game. : Th' rules are quite simple, dear Kala. Whenever I feel th' need ta take a shot. I shout an' then I take a shot! : There's too much wrong there for me to correct. : Then by process o' elimination, I must be right! Take a shot! : Oh, Moroes! A lot older than I remember, though. : And the Guardian's Library, my word! I wonder if all of those books are still there... : Would you really risk your life entering that cursed place for some books? : Yes, absolutely. : Lotta stairs. : Loooooootta stairs. Har, har, har! : ...Comedy. : The mad mage himself... : Shirtless. : That is a weird introduction for him, isn't it? : I dunno, Cap'n, I'm not too upset by this. : ...You are a strange one, Ruku. : Kala, a woman's perspective? : Why? : I mean... because... : He was an all powerful mage who nearly doomed our world, and you want to know whether or not I find him attractive on the basis of a “woman's perspective.” : Aye! Tha' sums it up nicely. : Wait, we invited th' evil wizard ta join th' war? : We didn't know of his treachery until it was too late, Ruku. : Pfft. Tha's why we dwarves dun trust magic. : Master Firefist, are you saying that you don't trust me? : Kala, ye showed me how ta turn a hellboar inside out with a flick o' yer wrist. Of course I dun trust ye! : Yes, but the morning bacon was good, was it not? : ...More inside out pork. : The chance to study the tomes of the Guardian himself. I'll have to ask Lord Khadgar about this. : I thought that this was just a possible timeline? : Well, Khadgar was an apprentice of Medivh's, so I'm certain he was able to peruse his shelves. : Ach, all this thinkin' is hurtin' my head. So did this happen or not? : Yes, while also simultaneously, no. : I think I taste copper. : Uhhh... : UHHH... : Kala, wha's tha'? : Not to echo Captian Varin Wells' statement, but... uuhhh...? : To clarify, th' boy- : Khadgar. : -saw a shadow tha' jus' flew into a bookcase. : ...Magic is really frustrating. : Cap'n... this is th' face o' th' man we're followin'? : ...I have a lot of questions concerning this Kirin Tor marking. : Is this something that all mages have? : No, absolutely not. We are not, as Master Firefist would say, “lame.” : I mean, eh, debatable. : This book it's... : It's what? A tome of infinite power? Medvih's private spellbook? : ...Irresponsibly gaudy. : Huh? : I mean, jewels and silver on the cover? Ugh. Those don't add to the magic contained within at all. : Uh, oh. Looks like the big bad evil archmage o' infinite power is back. : I don't see what the problem is. : Captain Wells, you do not understand the ways of mages. : ...Orcs. : Orcs? Oh, for the love of- Ruku! : I'm on it, Cap'n! C'mon, Gare-bear! Let's bust some skulls! : I will pause the vision, Captain Wells. : Thank you, Kalassori. I am probably needed out there. : I am curious to see how Khadgar gets out of this one. : Kala, they're both mages and on the same side. This is clearly going to be fine. : ...You non-magical beings are adorable and naive. Azzur fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Dec 13, 2018 |
# ? Oct 13, 2018 12:50 |
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Alright, we may be having juuuuuuuust a bit more filler coming this way as I will be in Rome for the next two weeks. Also, have I mentioned that running is hard? If anyone is wondering, I did really bad in the marathon. Like, abysmal. I should stick to video games and drawings.
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 12:53 |
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Azzur posted:Alright, we may be having juuuuuuuust a bit more filler coming this way as I will be in Rome for the next two weeks. Also, have I mentioned that running is hard? So, what you're saying is that you wanna avoid "Romeing" around?
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 12:59 |
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NewMars posted:So, what you're saying is that you wanna avoid "Romeing" around?
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 13:33 |
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Funny job so far with the Movie commentary. Some hopes- - Kala starts taking shots and is drunk by the end (but Firefist is snoring by that point and Gary drinks them both under the table). - Firefist possibly falls asleep during the movie and Wells has to wake him up. - Khadgar sees his portrayal and is displeased. - Gaz returns and reviews the use of Magic. Gary remains the best character.
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 14:20 |
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Azzur posted:Alright, we may be having juuuuuuuust a bit more filler coming this way as I will be in Rome for the next two weeks. Also, have I mentioned that running is hard? See, I read that and at first I thought you had somehow signed up for a marathon in Rome or were running the whole way there for some crazy reason
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 18:49 |
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Puts a whole new perspective on "all roads lead to Rome" if that were the case
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 19:18 |
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achtungnight posted:Gary remains the best character. Anyone who prefers red vines as their movie-watching snack is the best character. But even aside from that, Gary is the best character.
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# ? Oct 13, 2018 19:32 |
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Thought I was seeing things when I saw that your Tides of Darkness uploaded to the archive. Nice to see you back Azzur
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# ? Nov 1, 2018 01:01 |
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Good news Azzur, they just announced Warcraft 3 If you ever reach it, we can imagine the crew running around in HD.
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# ? Nov 2, 2018 21:29 |
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RIP (again) Azzur, thought of marathons and died.
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# ? Nov 4, 2018 02:31 |
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sirtommygunn posted:RIP (again) Azzur, thought of marathons and died. I'm not dead yet! Rome took A LOT more out of me than I thought. Trying to get my feet back under me in terms of routine and jet lag. That said, hopefully things will be rolling again by next weekend? (Also remastered WC3 looks lovely, but if I LP it, you know I'm going with the older clunky looking one!)
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# ? Nov 4, 2018 06:38 |
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you know what warcraft 3 needs? More retcons. The lore updates in the original will be glorious
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# ? Nov 4, 2018 08:39 |
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Darth TNT posted:you know what warcraft 3 needs? More retcons. If you're going to retcon War3 poo poo retcon the colors back to correct first god dammit!
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# ? Nov 4, 2018 08:47 |
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# ? Jun 1, 2024 16:34 |
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Darth TNT posted:you know what warcraft 3 needs? More retcons. Let's see how they do it. Changing Stratholme's architecture to be more in line with "modern"/WOW-like human architecture is fine. Some parts of the story and characters have been retconned by WOW and the books anyway, I'm curious if the overall tone of WC3 will be conserved.
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# ? Nov 4, 2018 08:49 |