PYF Memes: the jift that keeps on jivving

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Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Nov 17, 2018 16:06

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# ? May 25, 2024 23:24

Regy Rusty: Apr 26, 2010

Samuringa posted:

I don't like that "This daddy of a dragon" is a sentence that exists but I cannot say it is wrong.

Read it again, it says something slightly different

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

That joke reminded me of this one:

Welcome to the Republican party

That thread was so good

# ? Nov 17, 2018 16:25

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

Samuringa posted:

I don't like that "This daddy of a dragon" is a sentence that exists but I cannot say it is wrong.

Why can't we just go back to everyone wanting to gently caress ~~Prince Sidon~~ the robots from Nier Automata?

# ? Nov 17, 2018 16:35

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

Randaconda posted:

This hurts

# ? Nov 17, 2018 17:02

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Regy Rusty posted:

Read it again, it says something slightly different

That thread was so good

I missed that but my point stands.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 17:08

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Randaconda posted:

That's a really good CD player. Don't think I had one in the 90s, though. (Didn't have any CDs either so :shrug:

)

# ? Nov 17, 2018 17:13

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

RareAcumen posted:

Why can't we just go back to everyone wanting to gently caress ~~Prince Sidon~~ the robots from Nier Automata?

They haven't moved on. You're just hearing from a different subset of horny folk.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 17:52

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Randaconda posted:

That was me in 2001 actually

# ? Nov 17, 2018 17:56

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Elfface posted:

They haven't moved on. You're just hearing from a different subset of horny folk.

See that's the thing cap, I'm always horny.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 18:00

Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

Phlegmish posted:

That was me in 2001 actually

Everyone knows the 90s lasted till about 2004.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 18:55

Twistershift: Feb 7, 2007

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/RussianMemesLtd/status/1063721655573319680

Clearly not a Roman, god dammit Russia, get your meme poo poo together.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:04

DiggityDoink: Dec 9, 2007

Randaconda posted:

other than the haircut, that was me dead on. this hit me hard

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:06

ThaGhettoJew: Jul 4, 2003; The world is a ghetto

Hihohe posted:

Everyone knows the 90s lasted till about 2004.

2001, we must never forget or history will keep rememing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB5ib4ouxes

:rip:

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:09

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:11

John Lee: Mar 2, 2013; A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

ThaGhettoJew posted:

2001, we must never forget or history will keep rememing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB5ib4ouxes

us

Featuring the art of Christine W. Chandler, you say? I'm in.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:39

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:46

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Twistershift posted:

Clearly not a Roman, god dammit Russia, get your meme poo poo together.

Objects in those memes are not supposed to match their captions, that's the whole point.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 19:50

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:12

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Randaconda posted:

This is the truest poo poo I have ever seen posted in this thread

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:17

Jamesman: Nov 19, 2004; "First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"; Fun Shoe

Randaconda posted:

This girl never knew how much she was adored.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:20

pseudorandom: Jun 16, 2010; Yam Slacker

ThaGhettoJew posted:

2001, we must never forget or history will keep rememing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB5ib4ouxes

us

Oh man, I'm ready for this.

In a very similar nature, I highly recommend the Channel 101 movie "Our Robocop Remake".

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:26

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

Randaconda posted:

I still have that haircut.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:35

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

A farmer in the Bavarian countryside is having trouble with his chickens. For some reason, they've stopped laying eggs. He's tried a number of different things to help -- feeding them different food, raising the temperature, lowering the temperature, giving them a bigger coop, playing them music -- but nothing works. After some time with no success, he thinks to himself: "there has to be a solution, but I'm just not smart enough to figure it out. I'll go into town and get a university professor to help me out."

The next morning he takes his wagon into town and heads to the local university. He walks into the main building and asks,

"Who is the smartest person here?"

The receptionist, bemused by the question, replies "well, it's hard to say, as we have many very smart people at this university. But I think that many people would tell you that Dr. Bergmann, in the mathematics department, is the smartest person they have ever met."

The farmer thanks the receptionist and heads off to the mathematics department. Finding Dr. Bergmann's office easily, he introduces himself and explains his problem.

"Well," says the professor, "I can't say that I have much experience with chickens, or with agriculture at all. But everything in the universe can be described mathematically, if you simply look at it deeply enough. I might be able to solve this problem for you. I'll look into it and send for you when I've got a solution."

The farmer thanks the doctor profusely and heads home.

Days pass, then weeks, with no word from the university. After nearly a month, the farmer wonders if Dr. Bergmann has simply forgotten about him. He heads back into town, back to the professor's office, knocks on the door -- but there is no reply. Poking his head inside, he sees that the professor has stepped out, but every surface is absolutely covered in diagrams of chickens and complex mathematical formulas. From the disheveled piles of papers and empty coffee cups scattered around, it's obvious that the chicken question has consumed the professor's attention.

Near the center of one of the chalkboards, the farmer sees what looks like a feeding schedule. Having tried everything he could think of himself, and not wanting to bother the great man any more than he has to, the farmer simply copies it down into his notebook and heads home.

Back at the farm, he starts following the schedule of specific foods at specific times. The results are almost immediate -- the chickens perk up within hours and a few days later they start laying eggs again. The farmer is overjoyed, and at the end of the week he fills a basket with eggs to bring to the professor in thanks.

Heading up to the professor's office, he finds Bergmann slumped over, pulling his hair, staring at the chalkboards and surrounded by crumpled papers, very much the worse for wear.

The farmer places the eggs on the desk. "Doctor! I came here to thank you! You've solved my problem and my chickens are happier than ever!"

The professor looks up, confused. "What? I...No. How..."
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I peeked in last week and didn't tell you...I didn't want to disturb you, but I saw the feeding schedule you'd come up with" -- he indicates the schedule on the chalkboard, now crossed out and scribbled over -- "and copied it down. It's perfect! I've never seen chickens so happy and healthy."

Still baffled, Bergmann stands up and walks over to where the farmer had pointed. "This?"
"Yes, that one. It's brilliant!"
"But that's impossible," the professor says. "The formula is incomplete. This solution is only valid for the case where there are a positive number of chickens, each having nonzero mass!"

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:50

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

Sagebrush posted:

A farmer in the Bavarian countryside is having trouble with his chickens. For some reason, they've stopped laying eggs. He's tried a number of different things to help -- feeding them different food, raising the temperature, lowering the temperature, giving them a bigger coop, playing them music -- but nothing works. After some time with no success, he thinks to himself: "there has to be a solution, but I'm just not smart enough to figure it out. I'll go into town and get a university professor to help me out."

The next morning he takes his wagon into town and heads to the local university. He walks into the main building and asks,

"Who is the smartest person here?"

The receptionist, bemused by the question, replies "well, it's hard to say, as we have many very smart people at this university. But I think that many people would tell you that Dr. Bergmann, in the mathematics department, is the smartest person they have ever met."

The farmer thanks the receptionist and heads off to the mathematics department. Finding Dr. Bergmann's office easily, he introduces himself and explains his problem.

"Well," says the professor, "I can't say that I have much experience with chickens, or with agriculture at all. But everything in the universe can be described mathematically, if you simply look at it deeply enough. I might be able to solve this problem for you. I'll look into it and send for you when I've got a solution."

The farmer thanks the doctor profusely and heads home.

Days pass, then weeks, with no word from the university. After nearly a month, the farmer wonders if Dr. Bergmann has simply forgotten about him. He heads back into town, back to the professor's office, knocks on the door -- but there is no reply. Poking his head inside, he sees that the professor has stepped out, but every surface is absolutely covered in diagrams of chickens and complex mathematical formulas. From the disheveled piles of papers and empty coffee cups scattered around, it's obvious that the chicken question has consumed the professor's attention.

Near the center of one of the chalkboards, the farmer sees what looks like a feeding schedule. Having tried everything he could think of himself, and not wanting to bother the great man any more than he has to, the farmer simply copies it down into his notebook and heads home.

Back at the farm, he starts following the schedule of specific foods at specific times. The results are almost immediate -- the chickens perk up within hours and a few days later they start laying eggs again. The farmer is overjoyed, and at the end of the week he fills a basket with eggs to bring to the professor in thanks.

Heading up to the professor's office, he finds Bergmann slumped over, pulling his hair, staring at the chalkboards and surrounded by crumpled papers, very much the worse for wear.

The farmer places the eggs on the desk. "Doctor! I came here to thank you! You've solved my problem and my chickens are happier than ever!"

The professor looks up, confused. "What? I...No. How..."
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I peeked in last week and didn't tell you...I didn't want to disturb you, but I saw the feeding schedule you'd come up with" -- he indicates the schedule on the chalkboard, now crossed out and scribbled over -- "and copied it down. It's perfect! I've never seen chickens so happy and healthy."

Still baffled, Bergmann stands up and walks over to where the farmer had pointed. "This?"
"Yes, that one. It's brilliant!"
"But that's impossible," the professor says. "The formula is incomplete. This solution is only valid for the case where there are a positive number of chickens, each having nonzero mass!"

Hahhahaha, we used to have a similar variation of the joke going around in the faculty, only it involved generalising stability testing to a case of a table with N legs.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 20:55

Laserjet 4P: Mar 28, 2005; What does it mean?; Fun Shoe

First, we assume that all the chickens are perfect frictionless spheres

# ? Nov 17, 2018 21:10

Jabberlock: Nov 29, 2014

# ? Nov 17, 2018 21:30

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Sagebrush posted:

# ? Nov 17, 2018 21:36

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

cinci zoo sniper posted:

Hahhahaha, we used to have a similar variation of the joke going around in the faculty, only it involved generalising stability testing to a case of a table with N legs.

Is the punchline basically "table with one leg is unstable, table with one +1 leg is unstable, therefore all tables are unstable?"

I would like to hear it anyway. Sounds like another good one to add to my oeuvre of extremely specific niche jokes I tell only to annoy the students

I have a really good one about UDP packets but I don't know if anyone gets it

# ? Nov 17, 2018 21:39

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

Sagebrush posted:

Is the punchline basically "table with one leg is unstable, table with one +1 leg is unstable, therefore all tables are unstable?"

I would like to hear it anyway. Sounds like another good one to add to my oeuvre of extremely specific niche jokes I tell only to annoy the students

I have a really good one about UDP packets but I don't know if anyone gets it

Nah it's "why is table with 3 legs wobbling (assume rectangular table with corner legs)". It's been a while since I've heard it so I'm vague on the exact recollection + translation but it basically went like a table is wobbling on 3 legs, so then theoretical research is conduct to see if table with no legs, 1 leg, 2, and N legs is stable. So I mean technically yes, the joke is the one you assumed, just a bit different entry point.

Also nice one about UDP lol.

# ? Nov 17, 2018 21:44