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They probably have prehensile dicks to make up for the lack of bendability
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Nov 15, 2018 19:52
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cheetah7071 posted:They probably have prehensile dicks to make up for the lack of bendability Very slowly prehensile. Moving about an inch per month.
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Nov 15, 2018 22:48
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Runcible Cat posted:Very slowly prehensile. Moving about an inch per month. Nah ents move super fast once they're emotionally into it. We see this with anger in LotR but I suspect a horny ent is equally unstoppable
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Nov 15, 2018 22:52
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Turns out the Ents at Orthanc weren't angry, they were just super horny the whole time.
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Nov 15, 2018 23:08
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"huorny" was right there neh, pretend I made a wood joke
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Nov 15, 2018 23:34
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We come, we come with horn and drum
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Nov 15, 2018 23:58
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Ents actually wrote the Lays of Beleriand.
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Nov 16, 2018 00:06
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That trashy Lay of Leithian, Release from Bondage is a gross misrepresentation of BDSM relationships and honestly harms people entering the lifestyle.
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Nov 16, 2018 00:33
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Trolls were made in mockery of Ents so they can only get a half chub. Ents get full wood.
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Nov 16, 2018 01:27
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I re-read FotR awhile ago so correct me if im wrong but I don't remember having the impression that Elrond didn't know who Bombadil was. Gandalf made it pretty clear that Tom had no interest in the ring's power and would probably just lose it, and that Tom would still get rolled by Sauron. Interesting theory since Tom does have a strange tinge, but pretty far-fetched. Trees that gently caress, though? 
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Nov 16, 2018 02:09
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Elrond says he had “forgotten” Bombadil, and doubts whether it might be the same entity as Iarwain. Gandalf suggests they’re the same entity but that it’s of no use in the matter of the ring. Erestor wonders about this, but Gandalf shoots him down. Glorfindel agrees with Gandalf, talking about Bombadil in a way that suggests he knows a bit more about the guy than Erestor. Galdor chimes in saying that he doesn’t know anything about Iarwain but the name, but doubts that anyone can withstand Sauron’s power, and the conversation moves on. Conclusion: the elves aren’t wholly ignorant of Iarwain/Bombadil but even the best informed ones don’t know much about him either, and don’t even seem to be as conversant with him as Strider is, let alone Gandalf. e: Gandalf also has this ominous poo poo to say (to Erestor) about the guy: quote:“And now he is withdrawn into a little land, within bounds that he has set, though none can see them, waiting perhaps for a change of days, and he will not step beyond them.” skasion fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Nov 16, 2018 |
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Nov 16, 2018 02:50
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I believe the intended implication was that bombadils land was not evil, but the hobbits thought it was because they were all superstitious peasants.
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Nov 16, 2018 03:48
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The thing with sending the Ring elsewhere too is Sauron would have won without it being destroyed. He didn't even need to find it to win. Gondor was hosed until it got blown up.
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Nov 16, 2018 04:00
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Ginette Reno posted:The thing with sending the Ring elsewhere too is Sauron would have won without it being destroyed. He didn't even need to find it to win. Gondor was hosed until it got blown up. Galdor basically says this when they mention the possibility of taking the Ring to the Havens, and Boromir gets all defensive about it until he points out that Gondor already couldn't prevent the Nine from breaking through their territory and running amok all over Eriador.
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Nov 16, 2018 04:34
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:I believe the intended implication was that bombadils land was not evil, but the hobbits thought it was because they were all superstitious peasants. They nearly got eaten and sacrificed on an altar but I guess that was just a series of unfortunate misunderstandings? Hobbits don't respect Wight culture. Need to educate themselves.
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Nov 16, 2018 12:49
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Tbf they did go have a loving picnic and siesta next to an obviously sacred megalith on a grave mound
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Nov 16, 2018 12:55
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Ginette Reno posted:The thing with sending the Ring elsewhere too is Sauron would have won without it being destroyed. He didn't even need to find it to win. Gondor was hosed until it got blown up. I do think Gondor was kind of up-selling itself but then again without Gondor there wasn't much to stop Sauron from whistling up his buddies down south... it might have taken a couple of decades to really get them up to start deforesting Lothlorien or Mirkwood but that just means some Elves would've been able to bail.
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Nov 16, 2018 13:03
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Runcible Cat posted:Bukkake season is *murder* on my hayfever. Imagine if one of the ents was a white mulberry tree. Those bastards jizz pollen at half the speed of sound.
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Nov 16, 2018 16:28
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Man, Aragorn is kind of a dick.quote:For do not forget, Peregrin Took, that you are a knight of Gondor, and I do not release you from your service. You are going now on leave, but I may recall you.
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Nov 18, 2018 05:48
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Hey, Pippin didn't have to swear fealty to Gondor. He did that all on his own.
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Nov 18, 2018 05:51
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Too bad Tolkien wasn't writing today, he would have put wink emojis in there.
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Nov 18, 2018 06:07
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Or just added "lol jk" at the end.
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Nov 18, 2018 06:29
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I dunno guys, it still seems like a dick thing to say when the Fellowship is breaking up and they'll never see each other again. I'd have preferred a hug and a kiss from Aragorn, if I was Pippin.
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Nov 18, 2018 06:39
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Doesn't Elrond actually say that he considered inviting Bombadil to the Council, to which Gandalf replies, "He would not have come if you had,"? so Elrond definitely knew about him
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Nov 18, 2018 09:43
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quote:`The Barrow-wights we know by many names; and of the Old Forest many tales have been told: all that now remains is but an outlier of its northern march. Time was when a squirrel could go from tree to tree from what is now the Shire to Dunland west of Isengard. In those lands I journeyed once, and many things wild and strange I knew. But I had forgotten Bombadil, if indeed this is still the same that walked the woods and hills long ago, and even then was older than the old. That was not then his name. Iarwain Ben-adar we called him, oldest and fatherless. But many another name he has since been given by other folk: Forn by the Dwarves, Orald by Northern Men, and other names beside. He is a strange creature, but maybe I should have summoned him to our Council.'
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Nov 18, 2018 12:58
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Octy posted:I dunno guys, it still seems like a dick thing to say when the Fellowship is breaking up and they'll never see each other again. I'd have preferred a hug and a kiss from Aragorn, if I was Pippin.
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Nov 18, 2018 13:08
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So I’m rereading LOTR for the first time in nearly a decade. I went into it trying to erase any preconceived images from the movies and letting the text really paint the picture for me like I did the first time I read them 20 years ago. (I do love the movies, despite their flaws, and I pretty much will always picture Ian McKellen as Gandalf and hum Howard Shore’s score as I read, oh well). I’m only to Lothlorien so far but one thing that struck me while I was reading the chapters on Moria, the balrog in the movie seems entirely too large. Wing argument aside, it seemed like he described it as being larger than a man but not like 30 ft tall like in the movie. The balrog shouldn’t be intimidating because of its size, it should just look dangerous and other-worldly and scary. Something always struck me as weird in the movie when this gigantic balrog tries to cross this tiny bridge. The other thing that has really bummed me out so far (knowing that the Amazon series is coming) is that they’re not adapting the Lord of the Rings books. Fellowship so far is very episodic and would divide up nicely into like a 10 or 13 episode season without cutting anything out. Even merry Tom Bombadillo! 1) A Long Expected Party 2) Shadow of the Past 3) Black Riders/Farmer Maggot/Crickhollow 4) Old Willow/Tom Bombadil/Barrow Downs 5) Bree 6) Weathertop 7) Flight to the Ford 8) Rivendell/Flashback to fill in Gandalf’s absence 9) Council of Elrond 10) The Ring Goes South/Red Horn Gate/Wolf Attack 11) Moria 12) Lothlorien 13) Amon Hen
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Nov 18, 2018 14:50
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The Balrog’s size and shape are kind of ambiguous or mutable in the book. When they first see it, it seems to be bigger than a man, but not by much. quote:What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form, of man-shape maybe, yet greater... But then when it confronts Gandalf this happens: quote:It stepped forward slowly on to the bridge, and suddenly it drew itself up to a great height, and its wings were spread from wall to wall; but still Gandalf could be seen, glimmering in the gloom; he seemed small, and altogether alone: grey and bent, like a wizened tree before the onset of a storm. This bit gets mentioned so often in the context of the wings that one loses sight of the point of it. The Balrog, which was before apparently somewhat bigger than a man but not obviously gigantic, visibly grows in size and is now huge enough that the shadow around it seems to fill the whole room and dwarf Gandalf by comparison. On a quick reading of this bit, I can see why PJ would choose to portray the Balrog as giant and winged. The horns are less defensible, that’s all on John Howe I feel. e: also I totally agree that the structure of Fellowship (esp book 1) would work for a TV series, but the later books get a lot messier. Nobody is going to go for the way Tolkien structures it so you have to intersperse material from books 3-5 into something approaching a single narrative, which PJ only achieved by doing a hatchet job on the pacing of the Frodo plot. skasion fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Nov 18, 2018 |
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Nov 18, 2018 15:28
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When Gandalf says Bombadil would throw away the Ring I like to imagine him standing at his kitchen counter frowning at the ring before dropping it in his trash can. Later in the week he takes the trash out to the curb and the garbage man picks it up.
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Nov 18, 2018 19:04
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Gandalf was exaggerating because he was trying to convince everyone to go to Moria.
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Nov 18, 2018 19:20
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Octy posted:I dunno guys, it still seems like a dick thing to say when the Fellowship is breaking up and they'll never see each other again. I'd have preferred a hug and a kiss from Aragorn, if I was Pippin. He says, right after that, that he's fixing up the north kingdom and they'll be closer at times, and in fact Pippin and Merry do visit Fornost and Gondor, Pippin becomes Thain and Merry becomes Master of Buckland, they even end up interred with Aragorn in the Places of the Dead after they die, and Sam's daughter becomes a maid in Arwen's court. So they do all stay in pretty close touch. edit: and Aragorn visits the Shire at least once, but stops at the Brandywine Bridge as he's laid down the law that no big people enter the Shire. Myron Baloney fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Nov 19, 2018 |
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Nov 19, 2018 07:08
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Where do all the people populating the new Arnor even come from? The north seems close to uninhabited from what we see in the books, and I didn't see much evidence that Gondor was bursting at the seams with people eager to make a new life for themselves somewhere else
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Nov 19, 2018 07:17
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There’d have to be people displaced by the war of the ring, right? Lots of destroyed towns and broken communities that decided not to rebuild where they were.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:24
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cheetah7071 posted:Where do all the people populating the new Arnor even come from? The north seems close to uninhabited from what we see in the books, and I didn't see much evidence that Gondor was bursting at the seams with people eager to make a new life for themselves somewhere else Something like the magic dirt from Lorien that makes stuff grow fast, except instead of dirt it's semen. Freed slaves from Mordor's plantations. Boromir took a long time to get to Rivendell because he was fuckin his way across Middle Earth and that produced tons of kids. The call goes out across all Gondor: new settlers to Arnor guaranteed a free keg of dwarven ale and butt stuff.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:33
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They end up getting hobbit beer and handjobs, which all in all is a pretty good outcome to answering an ad like that.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:52
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BoromirGoogling
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Nov 19, 2018 13:24
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Aragorn deported the conquered elites of Harad like some kind of proto-Nebuchadnezzar
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Nov 19, 2018 13:25
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Wrestlepig posted:There’d have to be people displaced by the war of the ring, right? Lots of destroyed towns and broken communities that decided not to rebuild where they were. Basically no inhabited areas get destroyed/overtaken by Sauron's forces. Dale & Erebor stand firm, the Brown Lands and Ithilien were depopulated long before the war etc. Saruman razes the Westfold but Rohan's a big empty field so no shortage of room for the horselords and their horse wives to resettle there.
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Nov 19, 2018 14:15
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The Dunlendings are the obvious candidate really. They’re native to Eriador to begin with and they have problems living next to Gondor’s major ally, it makes sense for Gondor to offer them land.
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Nov 19, 2018 14:22
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skasion posted:The Dunlendings are the obvious candidate really. They’re native to Eriador to begin with and they have problems living next to Gondor’s major ally, it makes sense for Gondor to offer them land. No way Aragorn and Eomer didn't go annihilate them for revenge just as they did in the south and east.
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Nov 19, 2018 14:42
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