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Tabloids are kinda low-hanging fruit.
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Nov 16, 2018 21:09
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Nov 16, 2018 22:23
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Skwirl posted:https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1063500716814319621 Vaginas don't absorb all of the alcohol in liquor-soaked tampons, so why wouldn't we?
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Nov 16, 2018 23:08
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Alarmist reporting about young people is a constant in human history, yet oddly, it usually seems to be the older generations who overwhelmingly drag societies into the abyss of war, economic instability and/or complete collapse. "Oh no those ~Millennials~ and their avocados!" *votes Trump/Brexit/old rapist/racist/supports decrepit pretender to the imperial Roman throne*
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Nov 17, 2018 01:33
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call center manager posted:...it usually seems to be the older generations who overwhelmingly drag societies into the abyss of war, economic instability and/or complete collapse. It makes me laugh when they get mad on facebook and say things like 'those drat do-gooders' or 'political correctness gone mad!'. In the most simplistic response, the opposite of good is bad, and the opposite of correct is wrong, so they seem to take pride in being bad and wrong because that's how things were in their days. I had lunch with family yesterday, and one was reading about the mexican immigrant caravan approaching the US. Their comment was 'How dare they think they can just march into another country and do whatever they want?' which is always hilariously ironic to me because we live in Australia, a loving british colony which was declared a no mans land despite the indigenous population.
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Nov 17, 2018 03:17
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TheMostFrench posted:It makes me laugh when they get mad on facebook and say things like 'those drat do-gooders' or 'political correctness gone mad!'. In the most simplistic response, the opposite of good is bad, and the opposite of correct is wrong, so they seem to take pride in being bad and wrong because that's how things were in their days. My favourite is when they introduce some element of multiculturalism, like an non-white character (or even *gasp* a woman as in Dr Who) to kids TV and boomers moan that they're meddling and that kids don't need that. Err, you grew up with White TV and you celebrate a man who shot a black teenager, vote a white supremacist into the White House, successfully modernise racism to attract the young (the alt-right), and generally completely fail to empathise with anyone that doesn't share your skin colour or social standing. So you know what? Maybe if they'd have introduced those African and Indian characters in Thomas the Tank Engine when you were little, you wouldn't be so poo poo scared of them now and the world would be a better place 
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Nov 17, 2018 08:47
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Just lol if you think the world can be a better place
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Nov 17, 2018 12:34
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TheMostFrench posted:one was reading about the mexican immigrant caravan approaching the US. They're not Mexican immigrants, it's multiple caravans of people from Honduras and El Salvador. They're going through Mexico though.
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Nov 17, 2018 15:00
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El Padrino posted:They're not Mexican immigrants, it's multiple caravans of people from Honduras and El Salvador. They're going through Mexico though. Just parroting what the newspapers described.
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Nov 17, 2018 16:37
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If the caravan is located in Mexico than it's a Mexican caravan regardless of the constitution of the caravan
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Nov 17, 2018 16:56
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THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:If the caravan is located in Mexico than it's a Mexican caravan regardless of the constitution of the caravan This is a really dumb take. If you brew beer in Massachusetts and I buy it in Georgia, it isn't Georgian beer. What did you have for dinner last night? "Oh, human poo poo." Sandwich Anarchist has a new favorite as of 18:18 on Nov 17, 2018 |
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Nov 17, 2018 18:13
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:This is a really dumb take. If you brew beer in Massachusetts and I buy it in Georgia, it isn't Georgian beer. Yeah it's kind of on the same level of hot takes as "if an army is in Iraq then it's the Iraqi army".
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Nov 17, 2018 19:05
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THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:If the caravan is located in Mexico than it's a Mexican caravan regardless of the constitution of the caravan Ah yes, cause all the brown peoples are the same.
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Nov 17, 2018 21:42
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:This is a really dumb take. If you brew beer in Massachusetts and I buy it in Georgia, it isn't Georgian beer. If you want to eat at Arby's, that's your business Content: 
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Nov 17, 2018 21:53
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The 'un PC stuff' was Nazi literature or kiddy hentai. Or both.
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Nov 17, 2018 22:29
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Just lol if you think the world can be a better place Just lol if you don't stand shoulder to shoulder with Enrique in solidarity with the downtrodden 
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Nov 18, 2018 00:57
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I have a co-worker who's one of those stdh generators who's always got a story to one up anything that happened to you and yesterday he told me how he'd gotten to hold his newborn niece, just 24 hours old, the night before, and while he was holding her not only did she open her eyes for the first time and look right at him and smile, she even gained the neck strength to lift her head and look around the room
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Nov 18, 2018 17:19
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My great grandfather in law swore blind he could remember crawling around as a baby. He was well into his 90s when he made this claim. Baby claims are pretty fertile stdh ground thinking about it. You'd hear stuff all the time from fellow baby parents. Usually that they're walking, talking, or eating at suspect ages. Your 6 month old is walking? Sure he is. Oh he's talking? Mmm hmmm. One mum even tried to claim that their kid had written their own name at an age where kids are barely starting to mash crayons onto paper. EvilGenius has a new favorite as of 18:14 on Nov 18, 2018 |
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Nov 18, 2018 18:03
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InediblePenguin posted:I have a co-worker who's one of those stdh generators who's always got a story to one up anything that happened to you and yesterday he told me how he'd gotten to hold his newborn niece, just 24 hours old, the night before, and while he was holding her not only did she open her eyes for the first time and look right at him and smile, she even gained the neck strength to lift her head and look around the room Is that like, a big deal? My son opened his eyes seconds after bursting forth like an alien. Ditto lifting his head.
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Nov 18, 2018 18:05
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Biplane posted:Is that like, a big deal? My son opened his eyes seconds after bursting forth like an alien. Ditto lifting his head. https://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-milestones-head-control_6579.bc By the end of his first month, your baby should be able to lift his head briefly and turn it from side to side when lying on his stomach. At around 6 to 8 weeks, if he's especially strong and coordinated, he'll raise his head while lying on his back.
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Nov 18, 2018 18:25
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drat. Guess my son is a superhuman.
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Nov 18, 2018 18:53
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My mum insists that my sister was saying words by about 3 months, like "hello" when people came in the room and poo poo. She absolutely will not let it go. So yeah agreeing with poster that poo poo to do with babies is very fertile stdh ground
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Nov 19, 2018 05:04
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I didn't open my eyes for a couple of months after I was born, but that was because I was stupidly, ridiculously plump so my cheek and forehead fat forced my eyes shut. The nurses also kept getting angry at each other for leaving rubber bands around my wrists, but that also turned out to just be real fat hands and arms. Everyone was of the impression that I looked just like Russ Hinze.
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Nov 19, 2018 05:09
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Human babies aren't like kittens, all babies can open their eyes right away unless they're Buddha made flesh again like this dude^ (or I guess if they have some kind of medical issue) They can't see poo poo for months though, like I think it's a few months before they can even focus their eyes beyond things a few cm out and kids don't get vision fully equivalent to healthy adults until they're like 18mo. That's why baby toys are always bright contrasting colours, because otherwise they don't stand out from the rest of the grey blue around them.
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Nov 19, 2018 05:26
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Nov 19, 2018 05:52
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I'm the weathered and worn paper that has never been folded to be put in an envelope.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:01
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bike tory posted:Human babies aren't like kittens, all babies can open their eyes right away unless they're Buddha made flesh again like this dude^ (or I guess if they have some kind of medical issue) No medical issues here, just fat as gently caress. I was forcibly extracted a month early because I was just too loving fat.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:40
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:No medical issues here, just fat as gently caress. I was forcibly extracted a month early because I was just too loving fat. A true goon hero.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:41
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:No medical issues here, just fat as gently caress. I was forcibly extracted a month early because I was just too loving fat. That sounds like a medical issue.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:46
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:No medical issues here, just fat as gently caress. I was forcibly extracted a month early because I was just too loving fat. Lol dude that's sick you were a badass.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:59
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Ya sounds like your mum had gestational diabetes or something Fat babies are the best though, my kid was a barrel by 2 months and did nothing but eat. His poor mother.
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Nov 19, 2018 08:00
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bike tory posted:my kid was a barrel by 2 months and did nothing but eat his poor mother. 
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Nov 19, 2018 08:42
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:No medical issues here, just fat as gently caress. I was forcibly extracted a month early because I was just too loving fat.
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Nov 19, 2018 15:48
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RabbitWizard posted:Have to share this 
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Nov 19, 2018 15:52
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EvilGenius posted:My great grandfather in law swore blind he could remember crawling around as a baby. He was well into his 90s when he made this claim. I don't remember stuff from when I was a baby crawling around but I do remember a few things from when I was a Then again, who knows
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Nov 19, 2018 15:55
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Jerry Cotton posted:I don't remember stuff from when I was a baby crawling around but I do remember a few things from when I was a wee toddler. One of the things I remember about being a toddler is, even then, not remembering anything from when I was a baby crawling around. (The reason I remember not remembering is because I remember my older siblings telling me stuff about what I did as a baby and I had no way of knowing if it was true or not.) A lot of our childhood 'memories' are just reconstructions of dubious accuracy based on what other people have told us happened. Its laughably easy to plant fake memories that people will swear up and down are real and can produce tons of (unknowingly made up) details about. One of my favorite studies photoshopped kids in hot air balloons and showed them to people. They would recount these long, detailed 'memories' about the balloon ride, with all the sights and smells and emotions and quotes....and then the experimenter revealed that they had interviewed several family members and no, the subject had never been on a hot air balloon in their life. There's another study that showed a 30-s popcorn commercial could convince you that you had eaten a type of popcorn that had never existed. You'd 'remember' the taste and color and smell, but it never happened.
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Nov 19, 2018 16:01
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Dienes posted:A lot of our childhood 'memories' are just reconstructions of dubious accuracy based on what other people have told us happened. Its laughably easy to plant fake memories that people will swear up and down are real and can produce tons of (unknowingly made up) details about. One of my favorite studies photoshopped kids in hot air balloons and showed them to people. They would recount these long, detailed 'memories' about the balloon ride, with all the sights and smells and emotions and quotes....and then the experimenter revealed that they had interviewed several family members and no, the subject had never been on a hot air balloon in their life. I saw a helicopter once as a kid. Or at least a landing pad where a helicopter had been earlier that day. And when I was around 8 I ate an olive.
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Nov 19, 2018 16:20
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true story
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Nov 19, 2018 18:38
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It has been said before, but the worst thing about those types of stdh's is the inclusion of the comments. It's like they don't trust the reader to have their own natural reaction, so they just tell you how to react.
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Nov 19, 2018 18:52
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I have flashes of stuff from being very young, like when I saw a picture of an old baby swing I had when I was maybe like 1, and suddenly remembered the clinking of the metal joints.
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Nov 19, 2018 19:04
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