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Jedit posted:I know a few people who have requested that Always Look On The Bright Side of Life be played at their funeral. It's a good funeral song. It probably is for like, an old guy who's lived a long and full life. But trust me it really doesn't work being played to a room full of traumatised-looking people and a crying three year old.
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Nov 21, 2018 10:31
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I'm pretty much the organ donor, then whatever Lady Science decrees route. Let some med students laugh at my fat, sliced up rear end after I die. I don't care. Cremate whatever's left. In all probability if I don't die of an accident and I get so old I need to go in a home I'd rather pull a Norman Cox and wander off into the wilderness to die of my own choosing. But I wouldn't pick loving Death Valley. I've lived in the South almost my whole life. I'm not dying sweating and hot as gently caress if I have any say in it. Gimme a handful of pills and a nice view and I'll see my way out.
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Nov 21, 2018 10:55
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Unless you're in very fine form or have a super unique illness med students probably wouldn't end up with your cadaver. Med schools get first pick, and bodies from folks in decent shape who were younger than 50 are in very high demand.
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Nov 21, 2018 11:01
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Solice Kirsk posted:Dude, if you like that you should cross your fingers to get the "straight" card next time. I've literally smiled my way out of getting arrested before. Middle class straight white guy life is loving awesome. I have no idea why everyone doesn't do it. Do you know how much leeway gay dudes have it now that we’re mostly accepted I have like no expectations except to be a cool uncle and my lack of children means many vacations a year with my boyfriend and lots of expendable cash
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Nov 21, 2018 12:27
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OutOfPrint posted:Lot of bas in the thread gonna be really disappointed when returning to their bodies in the duat at night. Interviewer: You wrote in your memoir, “Hello Darlin’,” that when you die, you want to be ground up in a wood chipper like Steve Buscemi’s character in the movie “Fargo.” Is this actually set down in your will? Larry Hagman: Well, it’s hard to set down chipping. I don’t think that’s allowed. But I did want to be spread over a field and have marijuana and wheat planted and harvest it in a couple of years and then have a big marijuana cake, enough for 200 to 300 people. People would eat a little of Larry.
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Nov 21, 2018 12:40
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Necrothatcher posted:Having thought about it a bit more I guess there's a big exception if you're trans and there's going to be a conflict between family and friends/partners over which name/gender you'll be buried as. I was friends with a punk guy named Mario who was close to 400lbs, did drugs and drank all the time and was legendary for ordering an entire loaf of italian bread, filling it with 1lb of meat and a half lb of cheese and eating it in one sitting. I used to go to pro wrestling matches with him all the time. His family had essentially disowned him and he knew he was gonna die young (I think he was like 30) and he wrote out a request that we hang a huge banner that said “Local Fat Man Dies” with a picture of him with his band Mario Speedwagon. I was incredibly sad that he died but his funeral was great. I was in tears laughing when all his friends were coming up to tell stories and his family just awkwardly stood on the side in their suits, it was the most uplifting funeral I have ever attended
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Nov 21, 2018 12:49
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Aesop Poprock posted:I was friends with a punk guy named Mario who was close to 400lbs, did drugs and drank all the time and was legendary for ordering an entire loaf of italian bread, filling it with 1lb of meat and a half lb of cheese and eating it in one sitting. I used to go to pro wrestling matches with him all the time. His family had essentially disowned him and he knew he was gonna die young (I think he was like 30) and he wrote out a request that we hang a huge banner that said “Local Fat Man Dies” with a picture of him with his band Mario Speedwagon. I was incredibly sad that he died but his funeral was great. I was in tears laughing when all his friends were coming up to tell stories and his family just awkwardly stood on the side in their suits, it was the most uplifting funeral I have ever attended I can think of a more uplifting funeral, but like the OP I didn't get to attend it.
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Nov 21, 2018 13:13
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Solice Kirsk posted:Dude, if you like that you should cross your fingers to get the "straight" card next time. I've literally smiled my way out of getting arrested before. Middle class straight white guy life is loving awesome. I have no idea why everyone doesn't do it. Being white and over 50, I can tell you that age has a lot to do with it as well. I never received a warning the whole time I was under 30, but I've been pulled over twice in the past two years (once for speeding, once for being "late" on a red light) and was let off with a warning both times. Back when I was in my 20s, I would have had the book thrown at me both times.
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Nov 21, 2018 13:16
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Cat Army
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Drunk Nerds posted:My wife is an attorney in the U.S. (not criminal though, but that would be supreme irony) and she keeps a drawer of thongs specifically for in-court appearances, for reasons I haven't asked about but I'm sure fly in the face of this ridiculous decision I didn't read the article. Did they actually let the rapist off because the victim was wearing a thong? 
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Nov 21, 2018 13:19
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MightyJoe36 posted:I didn't read the article. Did they actually let the rapist off because the victim was wearing a thong? I didn’t look too far into it but apparently whatever he ended up being convicted of has a woefully outdated sentence attached to it so the judge couldn’t do anything beyond that. She even apologized and said her hands were tied
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Nov 21, 2018 13:33
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Jedit posted:I know a few people who have requested that Always Look On The Bright Side of Life be played at their funeral. It's a good funeral song. I have a friend who had the notes for ALOTBSOL transcribed by a musician to whatever the staff notation is called, and tattooed onto his arm. Considering this was a bloke who served time in jail when much younger, and went on to become a successful tradie, it makes for a good ice-breaker.
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Nov 21, 2018 17:15
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MightyJoe36 posted:I didn't read the article. Did they actually let the rapist off because the victim was wearing a thong? In short: Yes. In more detail: Both the victim and assailant said she did not consent (but the shitbag said that was okay because he didn’t think he was hard enough to go in, so it must have done so accidentally). A witness stated he had his hand on her throat during the act. The assailant said they were flirting and kissing all night but no witnesses corroborated that. So all the evidence pointed to violent, non-consensual sex and the only defense offered was “but wearing this underwear meant she was seeking sex that night.” After an hour and a half of deliberation, the jury decided the connotations of a thong outweighed the criminal evidence and he was declared not guilty.
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Nov 21, 2018 17:15
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Miss posted:indonesia isn't part of malaysia lol oh whoops. i found it by searching for "malaysia corpse" completely unrelated, tennessee man arrested for raping his 16 month old son https://www.abc15.com/news/national/tennessee-mother-charged-with-child-neglect-in-16-month-old-sons-rape
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Nov 21, 2018 17:31
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If you're not woke enough for a sky burial in 2018, then you can't be left wing. No exceptions.
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Nov 21, 2018 18:08
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Busket Posket posted:
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Nov 21, 2018 18:16
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Pudding Space posted:If you're not woke enough for a sky burial in 2018, then you can't be left wing. No exceptions. Can you actually do that legally in the US? If so, I’m in.
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Nov 21, 2018 19:01
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Funerals are for the living to help them process their grief, and should be planned as such. Not saying that the deceased's wishes shouldn't be respected, particularly for stuff like LGBT issues, but it's not the time for jokey poo poo that would legit interfere with that. Disposal of the deceased person's remains is more about the dead and how they want to be remembered and/or spend eternity, or how they wish to not be remembered or memorialized. Obviously not hard and fast rules, but a good guide.
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Nov 21, 2018 19:07
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you're like 50 right? how can this still surprise you?
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Nov 21, 2018 19:21
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm2XPkqENaw A decade later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox9bcx_LZMs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyWwuJCRTXk Cleese says they were very much indeed Graham Chapman's ashes.
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Nov 21, 2018 19:29
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https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-46287259 Moroccan woman in UAE 'killed lover and cooked him'
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Nov 21, 2018 19:29
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OutOfPrint posted:Lot of bas in the thread gonna be really disappointed when returning to their bodies in the duat at night. This is why I want to be mummified like Egyptian nobility. But instead of going into a tomb or mausoleum, I want a glass-topped sarcophagus that can do double duty as a coffee table, so my lifeless corpse can traumatize generations of children. Scaring great-great-great grandchildren with "If you're not good, Grandpa Hamish will rise from his grave and get you!" is a fantastic way of ensuring that my name endures in the mouths of the living.
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Nov 21, 2018 19:46
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It's illegal as hell, but just dump my corpse out in the Florida swamps. I loved them in life, let me be there in death.
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Nov 21, 2018 19:54
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I have organ donor on my drivers license and my family knows I'm cool with anything other than a traditional casket burial (because I think they're expensive and wasteful) My mom wants to be cremated and her ashes spread in a bigass garden because she's loved tending plants, but hopefully I won't need to be undertaking that task anytime soon. 
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Nov 21, 2018 20:09
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Azathoth posted:Funerals are for the living to help them process their grief, and should be planned as such. Not saying that the deceased's wishes shouldn't be respected, particularly for stuff like LGBT issues, but it's not the time for jokey poo poo that would legit interfere with that. Yeah but people are selfish and Americans are conditioned to believe all sadness and grief is wrong so we have to make every single experience "happy" or somehow we're being failed and failing others.
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Nov 21, 2018 20:10
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Azathoth posted:Funerals are for the living to help them process their grief, and should be planned as such. Not saying that the deceased's wishes shouldn't be respected, particularly for stuff like LGBT issues, but it's not the time for jokey poo poo that would legit interfere with that. Pulling a stupid prank that pisses everyone off and gets them to stop crying and decide that “actually no I’m glad that fucker’s dead” is my way of helping them cope hth
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Nov 21, 2018 20:50
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Randaconda posted:It's illegal as hell, but just dump my corpse out in the Florida swamps. I loved them in life, let me be there in death. It isn’t as if legality has stopped the kind of people who dump bodies out in the Florida swamps. You just need to make the wrong friends.
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Nov 21, 2018 21:27
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Aesop Poprock posted:I was friends with a punk guy named Mario who was close to 400lbs, did drugs and drank all the time and was legendary for ordering an entire loaf of italian bread, filling it with 1lb of meat and a half lb of cheese and eating it in one sitting. I used to go to pro wrestling matches with him all the time. His family had essentially disowned him and he knew he was gonna die young (I think he was like 30) and he wrote out a request that we hang a huge banner that said “Local Fat Man Dies” with a picture of him with his band Mario Speedwagon. I was incredibly sad that he died but his funeral was great. I was in tears laughing when all his friends were coming up to tell stories and his family just awkwardly stood on the side in their suits, it was the most uplifting funeral I have ever attended
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Nov 21, 2018 21:35
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incredible flesh posted:i love this man and am sorry he's dead Yeah I started off that post laughing but I had a few tears running down by the end. We always made sure we could clear off the couch when he’d come over for UFC PPVs so he could be comfortable. He knew exactly how ridiculous his living situation was and wouldn’t or couldn’t change it but his personality was huge. We tried to get Chikara Pro Wrestling to come play a Lancaster venue but couldn’t manage it because of their rate or whatever, I forget exactly what it was, cause Chikara was his favorite
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Nov 21, 2018 21:54
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I would want people to contemplate the meaning of their life and the meaning of death at my funeral, not pretend it's all fine by throwing some ~zany~ party. People in the West are too good at pretending death can somehow be sanitized from our lives. I know people my age who've never even seen a corpse.
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Nov 21, 2018 21:54
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call center manager posted:I would want people to contemplate the meaning of their life and the meaning of death at my funeral, not pretend it's all fine by throwing some ~zany~ party. People in the West are too good at pretending death can somehow be sanitized from our lives. I know people my age who've never even seen a corpse.
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Nov 21, 2018 21:54
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call center manager posted:I would want people to contemplate the meaning of their life and the meaning of death at my funeral, not pretend it's all fine by throwing some ~zany~ party. People in the West are too good at pretending death can somehow be sanitized from our lives. I know people my age who've never even seen a corpse. People in China literally hire strippers to pole dance at their relatives funerals so strangers will show up
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Nov 21, 2018 21:56
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One thing I love about my faith tradition (Eastern Orthodox) is our approach towards death and funerary rites. No embalming, simple pine coffin (as opposed to a ridiculously padded casket as if to mitigate any soreness I might feel when I wake up for the resurrection), and a modest headstone. Or I could wind up propped up forever in a guided phonebooth like St. Spyridon if I’m a really good boy: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g662629-d196777-Reviews-Church_of_Saint_Spiridon-Corfu_Town_Corfu_Ionian_Islands.html
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Nov 21, 2018 22:00
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Wasabi the J posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm2XPkqENaw One thing to say about that is that Chapman would piss himself laughing at all of it.
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Nov 21, 2018 22:01
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ProperGanderPusher posted:One thing I love about my faith tradition (Eastern Orthodox) is our approach towards death and funerary rites. No embalming, simple pine coffin (as opposed to a ridiculously padded casket as if to mitigate any soreness I might feel when I wake up for the resurrection), and a modest headstone. Or you could have one of those really cool 10k Russian mob headstones that show your dead 20 year old son and his Honda Civic
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Nov 21, 2018 22:03
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Speaking of Russian headstones
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Nov 21, 2018 22:15
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Randaconda posted:https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-46287259 It’s the first time he didn’t complain about her cooking!
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Nov 21, 2018 22:44
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ProperGanderPusher posted:One thing I love about my faith tradition (Eastern Orthodox) is our approach towards death and funerary rites. No embalming, simple pine coffin (as opposed to a ridiculously padded casket as if to mitigate any soreness I might feel when I wake up for the resurrection), and a modest headstone. Heck, you don't even have to be good to be a saint, just conveniently desiccated (contains photos of a dehydrated corpse). The Eastern Orthodox insistence on burial can cause its own problems where there isn't much soil. I guess this isn't such a problem if burial space is plentiful. On a lighter note: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE BEING CREMATED TODAY! http://myocn.net/chrismation-and-cremation-orthodox-views/ Best funeral tune IMO: Patrick Hernandez, 'Born to be Alive'
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Nov 21, 2018 23:12
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ProperGanderPusher posted:One thing I love about my faith tradition (Eastern Orthodox) is our approach towards death and funerary rites. No embalming, simple pine coffin (as opposed to a ridiculously padded casket as if to mitigate any soreness I might feel when I wake up for the resurrection), and a modest headstone. My family doesn't care what happens to the majority of the corpse, just need some of your ashes and a lock of hair for the family shrine.
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Nov 22, 2018 00:55
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Re: the Tulsa race riots: https://twitter.com/CharlesMBlow/status/1065275366892322816
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Nov 22, 2018 02:36
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https://twitter.com/vonhonkington/status/1065398693040406528
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Nov 22, 2018 02:50
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