quote:

My confession is that if this round of interviews doesn't pan out and I don't get a "real" job (noncontracting), I plan to move to SE Asia and split my time between Thailand and Macau. The level of income I get is enough to have a nice life there, especially if I supplement my income with live poker.

I probably wouldn't be able to fly back again until a parent dies, but they were never the nicest anyways. It's kind of karma if they die alone in their McMansion while their kid seeks work overseas because their dumb boomer rear end broke the country.

This might make me a bad person, since I've been living in my parent's basement for a year. My mom has mobility issues (fat, won't exercise, eats peanut butter straight from the jar) and my Dad has dementia. MILD DEMENTIA, NOT ALHEIMERS YOU LITTLE poo poo as he likes to yell any time I hint he may not being 100% rational.

Dad is diabetic, which is contributing, but still screams at me I didn't eat all the wheat bread I bought. (They're catholic and have weird issues about food waste. Also they're fat, and since they only eat processed food the idea of throwing food away because it expired is foreign to them. He doesn't like wheat bread and it's his drat house, so he won't eat any)

I make sandwiches for lunch, but I can't get through a whole loaf before it expires and he refuses anything but white bread because he doesn't like it. He also loves cookies and candy and says he'd rather die than not have desert at dinner, but it looks like he won't die. That would be good - elder care is expensive and there's a strong chance he'll poo poo out any chance I have at an inheiritance over the next decadeish in a care home.

Anyways, he eats sugar and gets super aggressive because the sugar shock accelerates the sundowning. Then mom jumps in and says that if I'm going to disrespect them (eg call the cops because I'm being threatened and screamed at in my own home) they'll throw me out.

I feel like I constantly walk on eggshells, because if I get an edge in my voice or show frustration I'm "abusive" and get screamed and cursed at that they can throw me out. I tried pointing out that I'd have 30 days, legally, to move out when he started throwing my stuff around (which cracked my laptop), and that the end result would be me finding a friend to crash with and never speaking to them again and they (well mostly dad while mom made shushing noises and told me to top escalating thing) told me I was abusive. (Because threatening to cut off contact is abuse... I wonder if they're Redditors?)

Anyways, today it came to a head.

I asked to turn up the heat, which was set at 68 and is much colder downstairs, and mom mentioned they have had issues with the thermostat going up to 74 at a certain time. So the reason they're "sweltering" isn't because I want an unreasoble whole 69 degrees - it's that the auto-adjuster is busted and tries to crank the heat to 74 every day at 5pm, and if my dad isn't home to fix it my mom sits and gets really warm because she's too oxied up to walk.

I offered to read the manual on the thermostat and wipe the settings but he insisted she be the one to fix it and it might not happen today because she needs to hang Christmas stuff. I offer to hang the Christmas stuff. Anyways after a lot of back and forth I'm told it's THEIR house and if they want to not let me "break" the thermostat that's their right and if I don't like it I can leave. I offered to have a family meeting and run it past mom, but he said he's tired of me and my mom ganging up on him. (AKA him getting weird dumb ideas because he's demented, then mom telling him if he won't go along with me being reasonable just because "he's the son and I'm the dad" he'll have to go into a home)

(He's also done stuff like serve me half cooked hamburger then "revoke my car privileges" when I said I'll just go out to eat, then plant himself in the doorway when mom points out the car is in her name and the cops said the last time they came out. The cops also had to explain to him that "park yourself in a doorway and scream at your large adult son" is not a life hack to force him to listen to you, it's an easy way to get shoved aside and possibly fall down and hurt yourself. TBH I wouldn't have risked that before since it looks bad, but since he was dumb enough to tell the police he plans to say I assaulted him by brushing past him when he stands in the doorway and screams)


So anyways today I didn't have the energy to de-escalate him, so I pull out my phone and call my buddy and am like "Hey can I stay a few nights, home's getting stressful" and he start screaming morre and waving the knife he was opening boxes with. I just looked at him and sai "you have a knife in your hand. Leave me the gently caress alone and if you come closer I'm going to disarm you, and you will get hurt in the process" and he calmed his rear end down REAL quick. Weird how these "moments of lucidity" seem to happen when he's ramping up his aggression to the point I hint I'll have to get hands on if he doesn't calm down?

Eventually dad settled down and I was like "You realize your position is basically that if you feel like doing something, you have all the leverage so you don't need to listen to any of my reasons to change your mind - you think you can just be as aggressive and lovely as you want because it's your house" and he got this super smug look and was like "Glad you finally figured it out kiddo".

So I'm going to move to Thailand and tell them I got a job and I'm too busy to come home. And I'll wait for them to die. I don't have a lot of money, but I have enough to last longer than they will. And they will die alone, because when they beg and plead for me to come back at the end, I'll tell them they threatened to disinherit me too many times - I can't risk losing my job to come home for nothing.

I think I can probably make some cool projects when I have some quiet space to myself, and between that and self learning get myself an engineering job after 6 months to year of study, but honestly the "wait for them to die" strategy is appealing since I could do the hard work strategy after if there's not as much as I thought left.

Plus, who knows, maybe I'll get lucky. If dad keeps being so unhealthy we won't have to worry about the hard costs of dementia care, he'll have another stroke and be dead before the end of the second trump term. (I kid, I kid. I hope I kid... :/)

Sorry if this is hard to follow, I also am dealing with an injury from a car accident - I was using their car to do the weekly grocery shop and got hit and run'd - I had a green arrow and someone ran the red.

I took a percocet... thats part of why I didn't want it super cold, the shivering was painful. I'm tired of them being lovely. They're my parents but they were lovely before they had health issues to excuse it. All my life they've used money to control me. Picked my school, my major, and now constantly threaten to kick me out and tell me I'm lazy, when all I do is contracting work or chores for them - I haven't seen my friends in weeks because I'll come back from errands and told something I did is "disrespectful" so I can't use the car. If I say I'll take a lyft they threaten to extend it. If I say maybe I will move out then, they cry and say I'm abusive. They've also insinuated they'll report me for elder abuse if I move out, which isn't how these things work - mom can walk around and drive a car, she's just lazy, and even if she wasn't I am not obligated to be a caretaker in perpetuity.

I know if I leave though, they'll tell everyone their ungrateful lazy son who sat around all day playing video games abandoned them. And I won't be around to point out I sold my gaming stuff to pay for a professional certification and hadn't used the ps2 in months. (Also, it's a ps2. it's leftover from when i was young, it's not like i was sitting around playing red dead alk day). They think because I maintain my netflix sub I'm lazy. anyways I'm rambling. I'm upset. Maybe I'll die poor, a perpetual english teacher underachiever but at least I'll be free! I'm sorry if this sounds angry but I'm just having a really bad night... part of why I can't talk about this stuff is my last job I was treated poorly and got a severance. I didn't realize that would also get me blacklisted... this resume gap is toxic... I'm radioactive. (From the gap not the xrays)

quote:

So.... I've never told anyone about this before, except for my mother, and that was only recently.

I was sexually assaulted by my brother and a cousin when I was 11 years old. Had gone on vacation in Idaho and one afternoon, before we went to dinner, my brother and cousin jumped me behind and threw me to the floor. They stripped off my jeans, but left my underwear on. Then they took a large metal wire grill brush and rammed it down the back of my pants between my rear end cheeks and tried to penetrate me with it. All the while of course calling me a human being because it was the 90's and that's what happened back then.

Recently I had a very bad day and had a long conversation with my mom about it, which was the first time I ever told anyone. My mom then told me that her and her two sisters and their cousins were all molested when they were kids by my great-grandfather. It's pretty loving crazy, and I don't what to think about my family now.

sugar free jazz posted:

Southeast Asia goon, before you go you should definitely cut your dick off and leave it with your parents. That way they can’t say you abandoned them, you left an important part of yourself back at home. Good luck!

Rad-daddio posted:

If he's going to Thailand it might be better to leave his dick in the USA. That way, no one accuses him of sex tourism.

A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

He's still got the back

Odd posted:

Cut your butthole off then too

Solice Kirsk posted:

Sweet_Joke_Nectar posted:

Nopeeeee nope nope

Solice Kirsk posted:

Theophany posted:

Reading the Amazon reviews for this at lunchtime was a wild ride.

RFC2324 posted:

links?

Solice Kirsk posted:

Sweet_Joke_Nectar posted:

Nopeeeee nope nope

Bust Rodd posted:

Ok the last one killed it, hot coworker goon is fake.

I’m sorry but there’s no loving way your wife would just apropos of nothing start hanging out with a women 20-30 years her junior from your job, and if she would, then your wife was a loser without her own friends or life and she deserves to get cucked by this little psycho. I hope she axe murders you both and your kid gets adopted by rich, barren lesbians and leads a happier life than the train wreck you are raining down on them.

Theophany posted:

There are also YouTube videos of it in action, but I'm at work.

https://www.amazon.com/Hunters-Spec...customerReviews

Theophany posted:

There are also YouTube videos of it in action, but I'm at work.

https://www.amazon.com/Hunters-Spec...customerReviews

OutOfPrint posted:

I know, hunters put up videos coring out deer assholes on YouTube and it's a-okay, butI put up ONE loving video using the SAME PRODUCT on one of my kills and they're all "A bloo bloo, you're a murderer, cannibal, ."

loquacius posted:

The idea that doing that is "field dressing," meaning I guess necessary to do before you bring the deer home and butcher it, is weird to me

"I simply can't put this dead deer in my garage until its rear end in a top hat has been yanked out"

loquacius posted:

The idea that doing that is "field dressing," meaning I guess necessary to do before you bring the deer home and butcher it, is weird to me

"I simply can't put this dead deer in my garage until its rear end in a top hat has been yanked out"

Bust Rodd posted:

Dude you seem kinda smart so try this out:

Do I want to spread bloody deer poo poo and shredded bits of prolapsed anus on my garage floor, my workbench, or maybe this $2.00 tarp in the middle of the woods so my house doesn’t smell like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

Or you’ll spoil some of the meat because there is deer poop throughout your kill.

McGavin posted:

You want to get the guts out ASAP because they're full of bacteria that will contaminate the meat.

RFC2324 posted:

Thats what you get for hunting pigs

RFC2324 posted:

Thats what you get for hunting long pigs

New Wave Jose posted:

Fixed that for you

The Fear posted:

I went down to the bathroom.


I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.

I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen,

strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse

wesleywillis posted:

Shoving ice cream in your rear end is funny, but why didn't you get in to the shower instead?

Its not really a confession but I dont want to attach my post name to this posted:

Let me constantly call Donald Trump "The Retard in Chief" outside of CSPAM without the fear of probation you loving cowards.

quote:

Not that anyone cares but the recent Sonic Fox stuff and all so it can't up with my wife. She's known the entire time. When we have "Jewish sex" through a very soft comforter it's because she knew. We are exploring things now. It's a weird and wonderful dawn.