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Well, poo poo, I gotta step up my game. e: hmm, worms might be a good idea afterall Mr. Nice! fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Dec 15, 2018 |
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Dec 15, 2018 17:43
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UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:To my secret Santa, I have run into a slight snag. My girlfriend accidentally tossed out the main portion of your present because she thought it was trash. I will now have to find something even better to replace it. Was it actually trash?
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Dec 15, 2018 18:00
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To my secret satan: Im going to be traveling in a couple of days, so fyi
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Dec 15, 2018 18:08
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ElMaligno posted:To my secret satan: Are you delivering it personally?
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Dec 15, 2018 18:56
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Laranzu posted:Was it actually trash? Well, that depends on your interpretation
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Dec 15, 2018 19:50
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Apparently a package was delivered a short while ago, but I'm stuck at work so it will be a while before I can open it. Oh boy oh boy oh boy
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Dec 15, 2018 22:27
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LingcodKilla posted:My tasty and fashionable present is sent. I’m not one for crazy weird stuff so I hope he enjoys the PNW loot. By the power of deductive reasoning (or complete coincidence) I have found my satan. First, we have a box! The outside is cryptic.  Hmm... Is this the secret satan gift, or parts of a home improvement project i started, abandoned and forgot?  Yep, must be, unless it says "¡di9!"  The box matches my enthusiasm!  And comes with free life advice!  Awesome! I haven't had smoked salmon in ages. But wait... Goons are crafty. Maybe this is a trap. I need to be sure.  A willing volunteer.  She seemed to like it.  She even learned to walk on her back feet to get more. But now that she's had a taste I'll have to share every time I try to eat it.  Also a beanie, which is great because we just had a massive snowstorm and I don't have a good hat. Also Asheville has all sorts of hipster breweries so now I can flaunt this and say it's a place they never heard of.  My head is too small 
As Nero Danced fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Dec 16, 2018 |
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Dec 16, 2018 04:07
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Hey I’m glad your cat liked the salmon! I made sure to get Pacific chinook not that crap dog or pink. drat the beenies suppose to be one size fits all! They make ok beer but have a great name so I’m a fan.
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Dec 16, 2018 05:19
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LingcodKilla posted:Hey I’m glad your cat liked the salmon! I made sure to get Pacific chinook not that crap dog or pink. I'll just start doing steroids so my head swells up. I kind of want to get one of those zoidberg style masks to go with it. E: Also that salmon is really fuckin' good As Nero Danced fucked around with this message at 07:32 on Dec 16, 2018 |
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Dec 16, 2018 07:12
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Finally got home to my folks to pick up my gift, and while the coloring book is already pretty drat funny, I died laughing at the gun safety book. Showed it to my old man, and - being the good German he is - he overanalyzed the title and said "teaching gun safety for the sake of keeping your cat safe really seems to be missing the point, culturally speaking" Thanks, Satan! 
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Dec 16, 2018 21:45
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Finally got home to my folks to pick up my gift, and while the coloring book is already pretty drat funny, I died laughing at the gun safety book. Read the goddamned notes
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Dec 16, 2018 21:58
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enjoy your present shitbird WHOEVER YOU ARE 
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Dec 16, 2018 23:13
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Not from my secret satan but I got this from my work today
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Dec 17, 2018 02:29
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How did we not come up with ferry Christmas the last time we were coming up with lovely ferry puns?
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Dec 17, 2018 03:13
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FrozenVent posted:How did we not come up with ferry Christmas the last time we were coming up with lovely ferry puns? because this is a secular forum GOD drat IT
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Dec 17, 2018 03:20
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McNally you can expect the most important part of your present on the Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. I cannot wait for you to see it. Otherwise you have one package coming from Amazon, and one from NZ.
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Dec 17, 2018 04:34
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I was afraid of putting Flair on the outside of my Package sent over sea's. So I sent all my Rainbows and Sparkly poo poo to Utah! Still love you Sucka's!
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Dec 17, 2018 04:36
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Door rang while I was gift wrapping. The mailman looks at me with this weird look. “Frozen... Vent?” “That would be me. It’s, uh, a nickname.”  So now my mailman thinks I’m weird. Anyway.
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Dec 17, 2018 21:33
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Security first  Oh poo poo sitting means boom right?
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Dec 17, 2018 21:34
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 Oh wait my dog isn’t a bomb dog she just wants a treat. On to the package.  HOLY gently caress
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Dec 17, 2018 21:35
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 It’s a perfect fit too!  And I finally get to try out those MILITARY GRADE PENS! Thanks Santa! This is actually pretty cool! (Sorry for breaking it up in multiple posts, imgur has a hard time with awful apps these days)
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Dec 17, 2018 21:37
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You gonna die in that shirt.
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Dec 17, 2018 22:49
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Pretty sure he isn't a platoon of marines
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Dec 17, 2018 23:22
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I'm very sorry to my santee. I've been stupid busy these past months and I'm going on Vacation starting Thursday. Your gift will be coming sometime after New Years probably (((
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Dec 18, 2018 05:12
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Glad you liked the gift. One more coming, but it won't get to your frozen wasteland until next Friday.
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Dec 18, 2018 06:22
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Just Got Mine!!!! So Happy You Sucka'S followed through. Trip report coming Tomorrow! My Secret Satan was spot on! Still Love your Lovers!
stinkypete fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Dec 23, 2018 |
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Dec 18, 2018 07:23
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 Cool book, disappointed in the lack of dicks and/or profane language. 7/10.
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Dec 18, 2018 17:21
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BigDave posted:
Note to self: doodle diddles in the margins of books before sending them
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Dec 18, 2018 18:14
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Soulex posted:Note to self: doodle diddles in the margins of books before sending them I mean, that would make it more authentic
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Dec 18, 2018 18:40
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Slim Pickens posted:Glad you liked the gift. One more coming, but it won't get to your frozen wasteland until next Friday. It’s here though. GF just sent me a picture of the package.
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Dec 19, 2018 17:57
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Amazon lied then. It's a Christmas miracle!
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Dec 19, 2018 21:00
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  Man I’m gonna have to do a let’s read am I?
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Dec 20, 2018 16:32
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Probably.
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Dec 20, 2018 17:55
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LIVE FREE READ HARD
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Dec 20, 2018 18:41
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FrozenVent posted:
Preferably, but I'd settle for some pictures of choice quotes.
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Dec 20, 2018 18:56
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TFR once came up with an idea for a book of the same name, but that was nothing but gimmicks and trope flips. It starts out chuddy but but skips out on vital details, so that by the end of the book you realize the bad guys are the KKK, the main character is actually a badass gay black man, and the side kick and love interest are devout Muslim guy who is very kind. But you let it all be innuendo for the first third of the book you would just fill in the characters race and sexuality with whatever your worldview stereotype is. Luckily nobody ever actually tried to write the thing despite many pages of brainstorming.
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Dec 20, 2018 19:18
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M_Gargantua posted:TFR once came up with an idea for a book of the same name, but that was nothing but gimmicks and trope flips. It starts out chuddy but but skips out on vital details, so that by the end of the book you realize the bad guys are the KKK, the main character is actually a badass gay black man, and the side kick and love interest are devout Muslim guy who is very kind. But you let it all be innuendo for the first third of the book you would just fill in the characters race and sexuality with whatever your worldview stereotype is. That was amazing
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Dec 20, 2018 19:47
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Just an update for my Secret Satan: Gift is heading out of UPS store today.. Probably wont arrive until the 27th but rest assured your lovely gift is on its way.
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Dec 21, 2018 12:50
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A festive envelope was in my letterbox when I got home! Very festive!  Nothing like getting a "lol you ain't worth it" for Christmas, but the stickers own bones so thanks!!! 
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Dec 21, 2018 22:31
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My shipping fees to the US cost me as much as the gift itself, and all I got from it is shipping limbo Had a bit of a heartattack at seeing the USPS status with the international tracking number DHL assigned, because it said it was still in Frankfurt (where it had arrived on the 11th), though I googled around in some German forums, and apparently the international status doesn't update until the shipment clears US Customs. So it's probably been stateside since the 17th, and none* of the packages I've sent to the US have been in customs limbo for more than a week, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for it to still arrive by the 24th. *except for the two that got lost in customs limbo, but those had naughty items in them that customs people did not like 
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Dec 22, 2018 07:04
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