Retromancer posted:

That marine who had his face burned off in Afghanistan and had the wedding pictures taken while he looked like the Nemesis.

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

they got divorced a year later then he died from an alcohol/heroin combo od

steinrokkan posted:

The polar opposite of

steinrokkan posted:

The polar opposite of

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth posted:

Steve Bannon saw a legion of angry white men in World of Warcraft losers and went "Hmm, how can I use them?" and now Trump is president because of it.

steinrokkan posted:

Tom "Pigeon poo poo" Perez promised a fifty state strategy for the Dems, and equitable redistribution of party resources, That sure was a hoot

General Dog posted:

I don’t remember Obama being president in 2008

Javid posted:

I love how Kerry is recognizable, but Bush is like the most generic exaggerated portrait of a tough man who makes hard decisions, to the point of cariacature. He looks like a bobblehead of a famous football coach.

quote:

King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches.

As his trusted associates T-Von and Mook-Mook the Bushman pushed open the grand organic farm-grown cruelty-free redwood doors paid for by his 95% tax rate, he stepped into the antechamber of the gold-domed palace. Outside, ShariaVentalism reigned, but in here his word was law, and all his white teen sex slaves cowered before his glare—more than even the hemp whips of their latte-drinking tweeded atheist masters.

He walked down the hallway toward his office and a prisoner in chains passed before him, lead by two turban-wearing Mexicans. He spotted the King and began shouting curses.

"You loving fascist! I knew it! I knew it! I told them, but they wouldn't listen, that your health care platform was a slippery slope to all this! You won't get away with this! The will of the Free Market will not be denied!"
"Seelenceo een the prezence of the Keeng, preesoner!"

King Obama spotted a chance to improve his ill mood.

"Bring him here. Good. Give me his file." The king looked over the prisoner's dossier. A long list of crimes against the state, and a repeat offender.
"You'll never get away with this! Never!"
"Hush now, Mr. Jack. We have ways of dealing with unruly sorts such as yourself."
"Praise be to Allah, seenyor."
"Peh! I spit at your torture! The Free Market gives me strength!"
"Oh, no, not anything as gauche as that."

The King grabbed a syringe from the outstretched hand of one of his nearby breakdancing bodyguards, and plunged it into the man's helpless neck.

"Now you are immune to rubella."

Kyle's lingering, echoing screams of tormented horror brought a slight smile like a crack in Obama's stony brown face as he walked into his lavish velvet-lined office and shut the door behind him. He motioned for his bodyguards to leave the room, and he addressed the giant screens hanging over his desk.

"Screen one on. Connect to Emperor bin Laden of Eurabia. Screen two: Hugo Chavez of the U.S.S.A.R.. Screen three: The High Elder of Zion."

The three figures appeared live via satelite.

"Gentlemen," began Obama darkly, "it's time to have...a conversation."

Krazyface posted:

I never noticed the "darkly" line at the end

Fuzzy McDoom posted:

Taintrunner posted:

when a bunch of people toxx’d for an insane bald millionaire lawyer grifter to become president and all got banned two years the election

Taintrunner posted:

when a bunch of people toxx’d for an insane bald millionaire lawyer grifter to become president and all got banned two years the election

zegermans posted:

Fox News hasn't tweeted since Nov 8th to protest people being mean to Tucker in an incident he completely lied about

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Butz posted:

Butz resigned his cabinet post on October 4, 1976, after a second gaffe. News outlets revealed a racist remark he made in front of entertainers Pat Boone and Sonny Bono and former White House counsel John Dean while aboard a commercial flight to California following the 1976 Republican National Convention. The October 18, 1976 issue of Time reported the comment while obscuring its vulgarity:[12]

Butz started by telling a dirty joke involving intercourse between a dog and a skunk. When the conversation turned to politics, Boone, a right-wing Republican, asked Butz why the party of Lincoln was not able to attract more blacks. The Secretary responded with a line so obscene and insulting to blacks that it forced him out of the Cabinet last week and jolted the whole Ford campaign. Butz said: "I'll tell you what the coloreds want. It's three things: first, a tight pussy; second, loose shoes; and third, a warm place to poo poo."

After some indecision, Dean used the line in Rolling Stone, attributing it to an unnamed Cabinet officer. But New Times magazine enterprisingly sleuthed out Butz's identity by checking the itineraries of all Cabinet members.

Remulak posted:

Loose shoes, tight pussy, and warm place to poo poo.


This is like that Chapelle bit about of course black people love fried chicken; EVERYBODY loves fried chicken.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

GalacticAcid posted:

when there was a Public Relations firm in Austin run by white people called Strange Fruit PR

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

what the gently caress