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I don't know about the Arrive Trial at all but I do know that having been given the option to induce at 39 weeks was a godsend with my second to last (Eowyn). She was due the week school was back in session and I was terrified my husband would miss my call (he's a teacher). With the induction he got to be home a whole week with us and it was so much less stressful. I will say I was fully healthy, no risks, and Eowyn was already 9lbs +. Even with everything going well on paper, there was a C-section risk last minute when she flipped, but I had a kick-rear end doc and she let me deliver vaginal breech. Each birth is so different I don't know how they determine if making early induction is feasible as a regular thing.
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Jan 10, 2019 04:53
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:It wasn't my intention to put words in your mouth, if I misunderstood your post I apologize. I did see you mentioned it only involved low risk women and appreciated you edited to include that caveat when so many people ignore it. I wanted to say my omitting it from my quote wasn't out of trying to twist your words but from lazy copy pasting. I was pretty much just responding to: "It was a huge study that asked "if you induce voluntarily at 39 weeks, are the outcomes any worse? Is there any reason not to?" and the answer after like thousands of patients at dozens of hospitals was no, it's fine to do that," because I felt like it was an oversimplification of the results and wanted to toss in my 2 cents. Basically I wanted to explain why someone who read your initial post and went to discuss it with their provider might find their doctor looking at them askance if they asked for a 39 week induction with a Bishop score of 1. Again, apologies if I misunderstood your stance. I probably got a bit defensive too, sry
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Jan 10, 2019 05:05
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Today has been loving brutal. We left our house at 9:45a to take little man to his first doctors appt. Everything is fine with him. My wife however is being admitted to the hospital again because they are worried she might have a DVT. She wants me to go to my folks house to be with the Baby but I want to stay here with her :-(
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Jan 10, 2019 05:23
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Is there a list of must have or essentials? I have a stupidly small place and want to minimize purchasing things I don't really need. I don't mind spending a bit more if the product will "last longer" as my friends have told me that these babies apparently grow stupidly fast. Stroller, breast pump car seat, and crib are what I'm currently doing research for. Do I need things like a swaddle blanket? I understand the quality of life they bring, but I'm really not trying to clutter the house with "things".
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Jan 10, 2019 08:31
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It’s up to you if you want to swaddle. Mine sleeps way better swaddled. Some don’t.
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Jan 10, 2019 09:40
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I think it also depends on where you live and if you or your partner are going to be able to pick stuff up? We didn’t pick up a few things we were on the fence about but we live in a major city and I knew I had time off so if my wife needed it I could run out the door and get it unless it was 2am. We just bought muslin blankets and wrap / swaddle our daughter in them. Mostly because it’s summer in Australia and it was like 40 degrees the day after we brought her home so we didn’t want heavy blankets or swaddle suit things.
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Jan 10, 2019 09:49
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We didn't use a crib for the first year and used a bassinet / side of bed co sleeper instead.
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Jan 10, 2019 12:49
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That's a super hard question to answer because each baby is different and will like or hate different things. I know that's not helpful but that's kinda how it goes.
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Jan 10, 2019 14:10
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Some people will find that something is essential, while others don't. So any list you pull up of essentials is going to be different, every parent is going to tell you different. The best thing to do is keep receipts. If you buy something and the baby doesn't like it, take it back. We are tight on space here too, and I got a lot of extra stuff at the baby shower that I wish I would have just taken to target/walmart and got store credit for (almost no one included gift receipts). I had already bought a swing and someone else got me a swing. There wasn't a swing on my registry, so no idea why they thought it was a good idea to buy something big like that! I ended up keeping it, and it's tucked away somewhere collecting dust. I used to use it in the bathroom for when I would shower, but now I just use the baby monitor.
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Jan 10, 2019 16:15
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If you live in the US, insurance covers a breast pump (unless that changed recently, gently caress healthcare in America) so don't buy one yourself. Check with insurance first. Car seat is essential if you plan to drive with them ever. We loved having the bucket one for when they are small and transitioning later to the regular convertible one but if you want you can skip the bucket and just get a convertible one which can usually go from newborn to like, 4-5 years old. That's pretty efficient. The bucket has a lot of advantages but my tall babies didn't stay/aren't in there that long in the grand scheme of things. What they sleep in is kinda a preference too. In the first year, you can do a bassinet, cosleeper, whatever in your room if you wanna keep them close. Eventually you'll probably want a crib, and you can probably just start with that if you want. We transitioned from bassinet in our room to crib pretty quickly because I sleep better without a baby in my room. If you want to mostly carry your baby, you can get a carrier/wrap instead of a stroller too. Again, preference. I know "whatever you want" isn't helpful, lol, but every parent and baby are different.
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Jan 10, 2019 16:54
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Stairs posted:Even with everything going well on paper, there was a C-section risk last minute when she flipped, but I had a kick-rear end doc and she let me deliver vaginal breech.
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Jan 10, 2019 18:21
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This getting pregnant thing is going to kill us both. My spouse's period is two days late, and they've been presenting with some really obvious early pregnancy symptoms entirely unlike their usual PMS symptoms. And we got a negative pregnancy test this morning. It just seemed so clear to us and were really hoping for some confirmation. Some Googling tells me that the manual First Response tests are supposed to be best. I might go pick some up becaue it feels better than doing nothing.
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Jan 12, 2019 16:44
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I think those tests aren't much good until like a week after the missed period so don't freak out too much. On the other hand conception can take even completely fertile couples months, so don't fret either.
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Jan 12, 2019 16:53
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Conceiving, pregnancy, birth, and newborns really make you wonder how the gently caress humans survived and thrived in such vast numbers.
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Jan 12, 2019 17:04
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alnilam posted:I think those tests aren't much good until like a week after the missed period so don't freak out too much. On the other hand conception can take even completely fertile couples months, so don't fret either. Yeah, we've been trying since May and we're fairly sure we had at least one chemical pregnancy/early loss. I also don't know what to do about their itchy painful nipples or sudden, nearly vomitous reaction to very mild onions in a burger. With a negative test and all these things very clearly happening, they just feel like they're going insane.
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Jan 12, 2019 17:08
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My heart goes out to you guys. We tried seriously for about 10 months (tracking ovulation) with femara the last 4 of those months. It is emotionally exhausting. There were a few months I was *sure* I was knocked up, but no dice. Symptom spotting can drive you batty. I found first response to be pretty reliable but if your ovulation date is off by a few days, it might still be too early to tell. I'm not sure if you guys are tracking that with OPKs? I never had reliable cycles anyway but I've heard stories about the stress of trying to convince messing with cycles. Honestly, if I could go back, I would knock off the obsessive testing around my cycle due date because then once I found out it was positive I just got to sit on my hands and wait until the 8 week appointment and hope I didn't miscarry. A lot of hurry up and wait, if that makes any sense. Next time we do this I am waiting a good week after my expected period before messing around with testing 2x/day and squinting at the negative tests seeing ghosts. I was getting to the end of my rope and then we found out I was pregnant. 22 weeks along now. If this month ends up a bust (fingers crossed for good news!) and you have been actively trying 6+ months, don't hesitate to go see an OB/GYN. Most will have you be actively trying for at least 6 months before they will start to investigate further. Good luck!
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Jan 12, 2019 17:29
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:That is so cool to me. It's depressing how many MDs in the US aren't trained to manage a vaginal breech and so automatically default to C-section every time. Its hard to practice when you don't see breech births often so I understand a bit of their reticence. I know some schools are trying to bring the skill back and hope they do. There are gonna be times when a woman squeals into L&D with a lil' baby booty hanging out of her vagina and the provider will need to know how to manage a vaginal breech birth with C-section totally off the table at that point. It’s tough as an OB since like you said, in our residency training we generally aren’t doing planned vaginal breech births due to the fact that the Term Breech Trial (which found higher risk of bad outcomes for babies in planned vaginal breech delivery) very quickly (possibly inappropriately so) changed practice patterns. I absolutely think it would be inappropriate to perform a cesarean on a woman when the baby’s buttocks are hanging out and have trained extensively in how to manage such a scenario even though I have not personally experienced it. I do perform breech extraction on non-head down second twins since I was trained to do it and evidence shows no benefit to performing cesarean in that situation. I also work hard to offer external cephalic version for all patients who are breech at >36w6d.
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Jan 12, 2019 17:39
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SalTheBard posted:Today has been loving brutal. We left our house at 9:45a to take little man to his first doctors appt. Everything is fine with him. My wife however is being admitted to the hospital again because they are worried she might have a DVT. She wants me to go to my folks house to be with the Baby but I want to stay here with her :-( Depending on the hospital, they'll allow you and the baby to stay with her. My sister developed a spinal infection a few days after giving birth and was hospitalized for almost a week. They let us bring her daughter and my BIL stayed overnight when he could. I hope something like that will be an option for you guys and your wife is okay.
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Jan 12, 2019 18:48
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My kid is now a month and a half old. She didn't latch well (yay blisters) so I'm exclusively pumping milk (which sucks in its own way). After some research on the Internet, I've discovered that depression due to weaning is a thing due to hormones taking time to readjust to normal, non-baby levels. I'm not weaning, but I find that if I go too long between pumpings I get really depressed. Shortly after I pump, the depression disappears. I had antenatal depression during pregnancy (I hate my hormones). Anyone else experience this? I'm going to bring it up with my obstetrician at my upcoming appointment.
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Jan 12, 2019 19:49
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1up posted:Depending on the hospital, they'll allow you and the baby to stay with her. My sister developed a spinal infection a few days after giving birth and was hospitalized for almost a week. They let us bring her daughter and my BIL stayed overnight when he could. I hope something like that will be an option for you guys and your wife is okay. We were able to bring little man up there but I really wanted my Wife to get some rest. My folks were such a God send to help me take care of him while she was recovering from postpartum preeclampsia.
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Jan 12, 2019 20:48
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marchantia posted:I'm not sure if you guys are tracking that with OPKs? Yep, spouse has been tracking ovulation and cerivcal mucous, and has about a decade of (fairly regular) cycle records to fall back on. According to the three(!) tracking apps, their period was due anytime between last Thursday (the one that's been most accurate) and next Tuesday. We did an insemination on the 26th. We have an appointment on February 14th regardless, so here's hoping we have some kind of progress soon.
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Jan 12, 2019 20:54
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I sincerely wish you the best. Trying to conceive is so much more stressful than it should be. For us, getting to a viable pregnancy took almost a year and a half. High school health class led me to believe that you can get pregnant just by looking at someone the wrong way, but it turns out there’s more to it than that.
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Jan 12, 2019 22:37
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RabbitMage posted:According to the three(!) tracking apps, their period was due anytime between last Thursday (the one that's been most accurate) and next Tuesday. We did an insemination on the 26th. I really wish you the best of luck. It's a hard process, with a lot of ~expectations~ both internal and external. I found, after trying for over two years and experiencing a couple of losses at different stages, that the heavy tracking/testing was not the best for my outlook and mental health. Especially if you're doing IUI or other treatments where you know when ovulation happens, I'd recommend only testing after missing a period. I found the guessing game of 'oh maybe it's just too early' after a negative was really hurtful, especially when you could swear that symptoms pointed to yes. Trying to conceive can turn into a hellish slog if you let it, and early pregnancy symptoms overlapping with pms/progesterone symptoms is a cruel reality. I'm not saying these things to be a downer, but try to identify what hurts vs. helps you and your partner's outlooks and be mindful. Try and find someone you can vent to who won't say crummy things. Best of luck, and I hope science/diagnostics/chance works for you.
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Jan 12, 2019 23:02
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It took my Wife and I 2 years to conceive. Good luck I know how depressing it can be.
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Jan 13, 2019 00:08
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I spent a year doing the monthly tracking and pills and appointments with internal exams and a shot in the rear end, it sucked hard. Gave up, decided we would be happy with just our older kid… and got pregnant almost immediately. Stress is real and you don't know how bad it really was until it stops.
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Jan 13, 2019 00:39
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Well, that was short-lived. In an ideal world we'd like to chill, screw, and see what happens. But neither of us produce sperm, so we're using a frind as a donor, which means tracking cycles and trying to plan aroun his schedule, whic means we only get one or two chances per cycle anyway. Well. Good luck everyone.
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Jan 13, 2019 02:08
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Also I usually had wacky 'pregnancy' symptoms only during the cycles when I didn't conceive. The cycle I got pregnant with my son was the specific one I WASN'T trying and/or hoping in, and the only one that I had zero symptoms. I made it like four days past when my period was due before I realized how late I was  And it's not like I don't get early pregnancy stuff, either. By like 6 weeks in, I was puking my brains out. But it takes time for the hormone levels to be high enough to really screw you over.Our brains are dumb.
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Jan 13, 2019 04:46
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If I recall correctly, the First Response Early Results are something like 90% accurate 4 days before the missed period. By the time you’re late, they’re at something like 99% accurate (assuming you ovulated when you think you did). I definitely blew through a lot of those starting at 9-10 days post-ovulation. I read somewhere that, if your pregnancy test is negative, the level of hormones in your body is too low to produce any symptoms. I’m not sure if it’s true or not, but it definitely kept me from stressing out as much about every little symptom.
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Jan 13, 2019 05:29
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RabbitMage posted:Well, that was short-lived. That definitely makes timing a lot more difficult but all it takes is one or two well timed "chances" to stick. Try not to get too down about the process. I would def meet with an OB who might be able to help with the timing and process of the insemination in addition to confirming the egg release and resulting hormonal response are normal. A lot of people consider doing IUI which might be a good option for you and your partner? It takes a lot of the guess work out of everything but if your insurance doesn't cover infertility, you are looking at some amount out of pocket. I'm also not sure how sample collection would go since we didn't end up needing to do it this time around but I imagine google might know more. I found a lot of support (believe it or not) on the Babycenter community board titled "Actively Trying: The Next Level". They have good mods and people are generally well-informed and in a similar situation. Good luck!!
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Jan 13, 2019 22:35
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superbelch posted:It’s tough as an OB since like you said, in our residency training we generally aren’t doing planned vaginal breech births due to the fact that the Term Breech Trial (which found higher risk of bad outcomes for babies in planned vaginal breech delivery) very quickly (possibly inappropriately so) changed practice patterns. I absolutely think it would be inappropriate to perform a cesarean on a woman when the baby’s buttocks are hanging out and have trained extensively in how to manage such a scenario even though I have not personally experienced it. I do perform breech extraction on non-head down second twins since I was trained to do it and evidence shows no benefit to performing cesarean in that situation. I also work hard to offer external cephalic version for all patients who are breech at >36w6d. Yeah my doc said it was one of maybe 10 she's done in her whole career and she had me prepped for surgery in case it went wrong and she had to do a C-section anyway. Nothing like staring up at a reflection of your baby half way out pooping everywhere while your husband is dressed like an Oompa Loompa in the shrinking room.
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Jan 14, 2019 19:38
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We haven’t told our families yet (and still might not for the whole pregnancy, I’m not sure) but I had my anatomy scan today and everything looks good, which was a huge relief, and also, it’s a girl!! I’m really excited.  On a question note... my inlaws kind of dropped a bomb on me the other day and started insisting we should stay at their house for two months after we have the baby. I know it comes from a good place, of wanting to help (and a little cultural custom, the wife is considered like... part of her husband’s family after marriage) but I would absolutely die. They looked crushed when I told them I really wanted a chance for my husband and I to get to know and learn how to take care of the baby alone first. I am definitely, definitely not staying at their house for two months, but then it got me thinking about after the birth anyway... Ideally I would like no visitors at home for the first week but considering this is the first grandkid for both of our parents, I have no idea how feasible this is. I know my mom wants to come and help and so does his mom and I really appreciate it, but I also feel like I’m going to be exhausted and overwhelmed, and if breastfeeding works out I want some privacy while I try to learn the ins and outs of that. I feel like there are going to be hurt feelings no matter what. Has anyone dealt with similar conflicting preferences like this?
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Jan 15, 2019 19:41
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I would say just give yourself permission to decide in the moment. I didn't think I'd want visitors but I was so happy for people to stop by (with food!!) and hang out for a bit. I didn't want overnight visitors but I loved having short visits, which I did not think would be the case.
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Jan 15, 2019 19:56
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Welcome to your new life of telling family to gently caress off! (usually in a nice way) Our first kid we didn't really want visitors. Our second kid, my sister in law stayed with us for a couple days to help take care of the eldest. Like hell I would want to stay in not my home for two months post birth.
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Jan 15, 2019 20:16
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Oh yeah there's no way I wanted to be anywhere other than in my own drat bed.
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Jan 15, 2019 20:21
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The two month in law stay thing is a really strong tradition in some cultures that sounds absolutely terrible to me. And i even like both my in laws and parents. Ultimately it's your baby and it's your turn to make the rules, but that doesn't mean it's easy to tell people you care about to back off. But I find it helps to pitch it positively for this sort of thing. We'd love for you to come visit us a week after delivery! rather than, We don't want you around the first week. We wanted a week alone too and got it, and I gotta say I highly recommend it.
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Jan 15, 2019 20:22
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I'm really glad I made my mom get a tdap booster for my first kid. She's now a crazy conspiracy person and would never have agreed to it with the second one.
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Jan 15, 2019 20:23
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Yeah, I have really great inlaws and love them a lot, which is why it’s hard to say no to them sometimes, haha. Same with my parents, although they obviously haven’t asked us to stay with them for that long. I really like the idea of phrasing it positively. I wish I’d thought to use that immediately, I was just so shocked when they brought up the staying with them thing that the first thing that came out of my mouth probably wasn’t ultimately helpful.
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Jan 15, 2019 20:46
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Alterian posted:I'm really glad I made my mom get a tdap booster for my first kid. She's now a crazy conspiracy person and would never have agreed to it with the second one. Mine went full retard and is refusing to get vaccinated. Guess she's waiting to see her first grandkid until they're at least 4 months old or so and flu season is over.
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Jan 15, 2019 22:30
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We are back from the hospital and just spent our first night at home. Or first day, I dunno. Time has no meaning with a newborn in the house. We were scheduled for induction at 6:30 am....so of course labor started at 1:00 am the night before and totally surprised us. My wife is a champion and pushed the baby out in under an hour. (Not to imply anyone is not a champion who takes longer than that. You carry another human inside you for nine months and you’re a champion no matter what.) We had an amazing team of maternity nurses at the hospital. They had us stay longer than normal due to high blood pressure, but I’m glad they did. The first 24 hours post-partum were a bleary slog, and only after a couple days did we find a rhythm and start to figure out how to care for this little person. In the meantime our room was right across the hall from the closet where they kept all the juice and pudding, and you’d better believe I raided it as often as possible. Neither of us are feeling the huge, gushy emotions we were led to expect after birth. We have a baby now and that’s cool. Of course we love her and want her and are excited to raise her, but we’re not feeling that overwhelming parental bond. I’m told that sometimes that takes a little while to develop so I guess we’ll see what happens.
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Jan 15, 2019 23:39
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^^^^ If she was on a mag IV for the labor for the blood pressure then the baby was on it too and it took a good week for it to be out of my daughter. She was lethargic and sleepy. If your baby is that way it makes it easy to care for but it was hard for us to bond with her at first because she was sleeping 23.5 hours a day until it wore off.  ———- I didn’t want visitors other than my sister. I let a few people come over and prior to that I said short visits only. One thing I read that helped was if people are coming over despite you not being thrilled, don’t get dressed. Put pajamas on and stay that way during the visit. It gives off a vibe of them interrupting your rest. If you get dressed it appears that you’re up and doing things. If they say anything, don’t be shy to tell them you were just sleeping. Because in reality you probably were. We live close to a popular shopping area so I frequently got texts of “hey we are in the area, can we stop by...” it was either no I’m very tired or I ignored the text and then hours later replied sorry, was sleeping/busy/random excuse. If they decided to swing by anyway without a response or after being told no (“but I got this cute outfit it will be really quick I swear!!”), I didn’t answer the door. From not rewarding bad behavior, eventually everyone got the hint they couldn’t stop by. I am very concerned over her getting sick because no one in my family would get boosters except my sister and her husband, and so they are welcome anytime and the only ones that watch her. We also often go over to her house. I really hated people trying to guilt me into opening my door for visits. I don’t like people coming over when things are messy and we had a very sudden induction where I was at work during the week, went to a checkup and then didn’t come home for 6 days so the place was a mess and I was in no physical or mental state to clean it up. For me the guilt trips never stop over new things. We are putting our 12 week old in day care in 3 weeks literally across the street from us. It’s very convenient, a nice place, and not too badly priced. I have family members upset that I’m not having them watch her. They don’t live near us or on the way to my work. They claim they want to spend time with her and it would be awesome to do that while I’m at work. Buuuut they also want to be paid top dollar to do it. “I really want to watch her!” “Ok, for home care we are willing to pay ____” “Oh that’s it? I’ll need more than that, at least _____” “Ok well we are going to stick with the day care center across the street, it’s cheaper” Awkward silence, since this is clearly about you getting cash and not spending time with her. Families suck. Sarah fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Jan 16, 2019 |
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Jan 15, 2019 23:56
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