|
Wow, pushy-to-visit families is one thing, pushy families who want money too is something else
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 00:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 5, 2024 03:42 |
|
|
Sarah posted:^^^^ Thanks, that is really helpful. You may have hit the nail on the head with our situation. Yeah, the baby is really sleepy (when she's not fussy) and while that makes her fun to cuddle it also means we have to constantly jiggle her awake while feeding. The pajama suggestion is a good one for subtly keeping folks away. For less subtlety, I have also heard of people putting a sign on the front door to indicate when they are/aren't willing to receive guests.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 00:21
|
|
|
Staying with parents/in-laws implies that mother(-in-law) will do all cooking, laundry and chores. It can be great if you're nearby, but it's not the best option for everyone. Edit: Btw, we live next-door to my in-laws, and my husband's sister lives next-door to hers. It's a good balance of private space and extended family cooperation. If my younger kid is sleeping when I need to pick up my older kid, I can just ask grandpa to chill in the living room for 20 minutes. Everything depends on what ～flavor～ of human your in-laws are. peanut fucked around with this message at 08:36 on Jan 16, 2019 |
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 05:24
|
|
|
I think having my in laws stay for the first week after my daughter was born honestly is the thing that’s done the most damage to our relationship. No malice, but massive boundary intrusion and no personal space when I felt extremely vulnerable. Also every meal was meat and potatoes and I started going loving crazy.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 06:43
|
|
|
I'm kind of going though a similar deal. My folks and my sister and her husband along with their 2 kids live in one house together. Now this house is loving gigantic. 3/4th's of the house belongs to my sister, the other quarter is my folks. This house is gigantic (if I haven't said that already). After seeing our baby on the 5th of January they invited us to move in with them. We are going to do it because we will be able to save a lot of money and finally get a house, but part of me has gigantic loving reservations about it. The downside is that they want us to move in ASAP so we are currently packing up our apartment of 6 years and having to deal with the fact that 6 years in one place means you accumulate a lot of poo poo, and the space we are going to be moving into is smaller than our current apartment. It's very loving daunting dealing with packing all day and staying up with a fussy newborn who hates sleeping at night. My Wife is still recovering from giving birth so I'm trying to let her sleep as much as possible but it's exhausting. Sorry to make this a live journal.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 07:45
|
|
|
I’m in the same boat as a lot of you with not wanting visitors. Initially I didn’t want anyone at the hospital, but it was really important for my husband to have his parents visit after the kid was born. I’m compromising and saying we can have a few short visits at the hospital, but I would like the first week or so at home without visitors. It might be easier to get people to leave in the hospital setting than it would be at home, and we could have a game plan with our nurse to schedule something at a certain time to get people to leave for privacy. We will see how it actually plays out.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 11:05
|
|
|
We were living with my parents when I gave birth pending our move about 6 weeks later. I was pretty pissy that my parents took it upon themselves to invite everyone over to stay (including my really hard to deal with granddad who stayed for 5 days) within two weeks of delivery. It just meant I spent a lot of time in our rather large bedroom downstairs because amazingly, on no sleep and still really sore from the tearing and episiotomy I was not up for a ton of socializing even with extended family. One of mums more annoying friends also invited herself over as soon as I was home. Glad to be out and our own space again. E: when I was in hospital all our guests basically stayed for an hour max. The bustle of the midwives coming and going and the fact that I was visibly tired and not very mobile helped give them the hint not to stay long I think. Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 12:13 on Jan 16, 2019 |
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 12:06
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:I’m in the same boat as a lot of you with not wanting visitors. Initially I didn’t want anyone at the hospital, but it was really important for my husband to have his parents visit after the kid was born. I’m compromising and saying we can have a few short visits at the hospital, but I would like the first week or so at home without visitors. It might be easier to get people to leave in the hospital setting than it would be at home, and we could have a game plan with our nurse to schedule something at a certain time to get people to leave for privacy. We will see how it actually plays out. Since I don’t know them I can’t absolutely guarantee that the staff at your hospital will work with you on controlling your visitors, but if they’re any good then they should. They probably have a protocol for clearing the room and leaving mom/parents alone; the one at our hospital was to ask for green jello and they would kick out all visitors. The nurses encouraged us to have them be the bad guys and deny anyone access to the room.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 13:02
|
|
|
In the hospital, the nurses can be excellent allies for giving you the space you need. L&D/postpartum wards have a ton of policies in place for dealing with various levels of unwanted visitors. They have to deal with crazy exes, crazy in-laws, all kinds of drama. I doubt any particular nurse will feel bad about appearing to be ‘the bad guy’ in pressuring (or ordering) someone to leave as you and the baby rest. They just have to know that it’s what you want.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 13:08
|
|
|
My nurses had a codeword. If you wanted people gone, casually drop the word in a conversation and there would be an excuse as to why everyone needed to leave, and when it comes from staff there’s no pressure on you.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 16:09
|
|
|
My mom will be coming to help out with cooking and cleaning and baby stuff for the first week or two after birth but not staying overnight since they live relatively close by (and I value alone time). If my in-laws were here I'm pretty sure we would end up drawing blood. I love them very much but they are certainly not a calming presence in my life...or my husband's. He would be the one with claws out for sure. I would put my foot down if it became a thing for sure.
|
|
#
?
Jan 16, 2019 20:56
|
|
|
I could say 10000+ words on this topic but suffice it to say that if in the first six weeks post partum you can get family/friends/willing slaves to take care of all menial household tasks while you laze naked in bed all day and do nothing but feed the baby and go to the toilet/bathe and eat food brought to you on a tray while bingeing on screens-- DO IT. At least do it for the first week, even if you had a perfect vaginal birth with no intervention. Set your boundaries but don't deny yourself human contact and help. We did the no visitors no contact thing with baby number one and it sucked, putting it mildly. We're lucky my PTSD/ppd+a didn't get worse than it was.
|
|
#
?
Jan 19, 2019 08:37
|
|
|
My wife is in pre-labor and it sucks. She is having contractions anywhere from five to ten minutes apart and sleep is not happening much. Anyone got any recommendations to help it not suck so much for her.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2019 12:01
|
|
|
lemonadesweetheart posted:My wife is in pre-labor and it sucks. She is having contractions anywhere from five to ten minutes apart and sleep is not happening much. Anyone got any recommendations to help it not suck so much for her. I had it for three goddamn weeks. Taking a hot shower would usually stop it, or else a half glass of wine. Going for a walk or doing the [url= http://www.milescircuit.com] Miles Circuit[/url] may help too. My son apparently just needed a slight position adjustment to stop the prelabor garbage and to get him out the door.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2019 18:10
|
|
|
I think my son has colic. I'm going loving crazy from the crying. I'm back to work and I need the sleep so Wife is being "night parent" but it's unsustainable for her to not sleep and take care of little man during the day. So I'm going to be "night Parent" tonight. Any advice to handle colic-y babies?
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2019 18:51
|
|
|
My wife said Eucalyptus oil should help with Colic. Rub it on his chest and back. Make sure it's not diffuser oil or something like that though. Thanks for the advice above. We are giving it a go.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2019 19:26
|
|
|
lemonadesweetheart posted:My wife is in pre-labor and it sucks. She is having contractions anywhere from five to ten minutes apart and sleep is not happening much. Anyone got any recommendations to help it not suck so much for her. See if her doc or midwife will write for 50 mg of Vistaril (hydroxyzine). Over the counter, 25-50 mg of Benadryl (diphenhydramine) or 25-50 mg Unisom (doxylamine) are safe.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2019 23:57
|
|
|
SalTheBard posted:I think my son has colic. I'm going loving crazy from the crying. I'm back to work and I need the sleep so Wife is being "night parent" but it's unsustainable for her to not sleep and take care of little man during the day. So I'm going to be "night Parent" tonight. Any advice to handle colic-y babies? Earplugs. He is in my arms, I can obviously still hear him, but I find that it does wonders for my sanity to just take off that upper decibel range.
|
|
#
?
Jan 28, 2019 00:18
|
|
|
For colic, have you tried the "colic carry"? Hold babby face down with face in your hand and swing them back and forth gently like an aeroplane. My friend said it worked for his one kid and it was even in the maternity ward baby channel on tv so it must be somewhat legit
|
|
#
?
Jan 28, 2019 04:41
|
|
|
Hello, I am newly expecting and trying to sort through some of the information on genetic screening options. My provider offers Horizon carrier screen and Panorama NIPT. We are leaning towards the NIPT, but I was curious of others experiences with these types of testing.
|
|
#
?
Jan 28, 2019 21:53
|
|
|
We got a NIPT done when I was pregnant with my son, didn't opt for carrier screening. It was nice to rule out the main players in the genetic conditions game - also that we could find out the gender early. It's just a quick blood test, then you get the results about a week later.
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2019 08:35
|
|
|
Any suggestions on a good car seat and a stroller? From my research it looks like the car seats are basically a plastic seat thing that stays within the car and you can attach / detach the carrying portion. It also looks like there are options for heavy duty option, and it looks like a captain's chair. I'm a bit overwhelmed with stroller there are too many options. I like one that are super fold-able and compact. Would this be a good option? Since it knocks out two birds with one stone.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 05:45
|
|
|
We were gifted a Chicco keyfit 30 carrier and car seat base, so I didn't do any comparison shopping but am pretty satisfied nonetheless. The base is pretty easy to set up in the car and the carrier seat snaps right in. My only complaint is that it's kind of large for our car, so it presses right up against whichever seat it's behind. The release handle is at the very front of the apparatus, so I have to wedge my hand in there every time. We also got a stroller by the same company. The carrier seat just snaps right in to that too. We haven't actually used it yet though.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 05:55
|
|
|
obi_ant posted:Any suggestions on a good car seat and a stroller? The Doona is kind of cool, but your kid will outgrow it around 1 and then you have to buy a new seat AND stroller. Most infant car seats (aka baby buckets, with a carrier that snaps into a base) are outgrown around 1. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later, but around then. A lot of people like to use them plus the snap in strollers, but it's not mandatory. You can use most of the captain chair style rear facing car seats from birth, and just use a stroller or baby wearing carrier instead. That means having to take baby in and out of the carseat, which was fine for us but some kids don't like it? Either way, you will end up having to use a rear facing big car seat for at least a year or two after outgrowing the baby bucket. Edit: I didn't actually answer your question. I like the Maxi Cosi Pria rear facing seats and a Britax b-agile for everyday use. They're super wide, bit don't take up a lot of front to back room in the car.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 06:19
|
|
|
obi_ant posted:Any suggestions on a good car seat and a stroller? Personally I would not choose that car seat because after doing some searching I feel that it’s putting convenience over safety. https://www.babygearlab.com/topics/vehicle-safety/best-infant-car-seat ... A crash test rating of 3/10. If you’re concerned about the stroller being compact, the best thing to do is go to stores and check them out to see if they collapse small enough for you.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 06:22
|
|
|
cailleask posted:The Doona is kind of cool, but your kid will outgrow it around 1 and then you have to buy a new seat AND stroller. Thanks for the clarification. I'm leaning towards the baby bucket because of portability, I need to have nothing in my car everynight. The neighborhood that I live in is terrible and we keep literally nothing in the car. Thieves break into cars to check the trunk, we have a hatchback, so I'm able to display my tunk. But when it was covered thieves broke my window to check the trunk because there was nothing visible. I live in San Francisco and the police do not care able car break-ins. But realistically, a used baby seat really isn't worth stealing, it's also stupidly bulky... I'll have to figure that one out. So basically 1 year lifespan for a baby bucket and 1-2 years for a larger rear facing car seat? Sarah posted:Personally I would not choose that car seat because after doing some searching I feel that it’s putting convenience over safety. Thanks. While looking around I saw the UPPAbaby Mesa which lead me to a stroller the UPPAbaby Minu. It looks like it'll have everything I want. So, maybe I should look at a larger rear facing car seat, with a UPPAbaby Minu and a from birth kit.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 06:40
|
|
|
Just an FYI a base is a matter of convenience. If you know that installing one is going to get your car broken into/window smashed and it stolen, just follow the manufacturers instructions and strap the car seat in with the seatbelt every time you go somewhere. I don’t know if anywhere would buy a used base? I think car seat stuff are risky items to try to resell/pawn because you don’t know if it’s been in an accident but that wouldn’t stop a thief from trying. Sorry people are assholes and making this hard for you 
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 06:51
|
|
|
Generally speaking, a good rear facing carseat will also support some amount of time forward facing. You can easily get your kid from birth to 5 or 6 in one, if they're not some kind of giant. The progression is roughly like this: 0-1 year: baby bucket or RF carseat 1-3ish: RF carseat (the closer to 4 you can get the better) 3ish-5: FF carseat with harness 5-7: FF high backed booster 7-???: Low backed booster One carseat can generally fill the baby bucket / RF / FF years, until you're ready to move into a booster with the seat belt. Obviously some of this will depend on your individual kid and their height and weight over time. I had a mega-huge baby that outgrew the bucket really early, but then slowed growth so could be RF in her car seats until 4 with plenty of room to spare.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 17:49
|
|
|
Wow that progression is completely alien to me, because I apparently have super long/tall babies so there's no way back facing lasts that long, and bucket didn't either.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 19:39
|
|
|
silvergoose posted:Wow that progression is completely alien to me, because I apparently have super long/tall babies so there's no way back facing lasts that long, and bucket didn't either. Are you in the US? If so, there are a number of seats on the market that will get even the tallest kids to age four rear facing. My four and a half year old is 95th percentile in height and still fits in one we have.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 21:39
|
|
|
California updates their carseat laws so often that many hand-me-downs are now considered inadequate. I love car seats but the requirements and bulk mean that they just won't fit in some cars.
|
|
#
?
Jan 30, 2019 23:33
|
|
|
skeetied posted:Are you in the US? If so, there are a number of seats on the market that will get even the tallest kids to age four rear facing. My four and a half year old is 95th percentile in height and still fits in one we have. Clek Fllo will get you to 43" in height rear-facing. My admittedly average to petite 4.5 year old hasn't hit that yet, though we turned her after her 4th birthday anyways.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2019 05:01
|
|
|
Australian Britax seats here(the current model is called a Graphene)- our almost three year old is an outlier above the top centile for height and still rear faces, though I'm not hopeful she'll make it to four rear facing thanks to gargantuan height genes. She's been in this seat since birth. Ftr I believe these are the tallest rf height markers you can get in this country so there you go. And yet nearly every parent I've met here flips their kid around immediately after they reach the legal limit- six months. They're also fairly compact- fits behind a fully pushed back driver's seat in a 2007 vw golf hatchback. We don't have three seats but have it on good authority you can also cram three of this brand across in the back of a golf too. We've never considered a capsule seat because the thought of lugging an oversized handbasket around that weighs 10-15kg is not my idea of fun, compatible stroller or no. We've also had decent sized babies and by this stage I'm really feeling the strain of lugging children around- I'm too old and unfit lol.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2019 12:05
|
|
|
We’ve got the britax graphene as well, but only upsized to it at 8 months, our bub fit in the capsule still coz she was lowish on percentiles. My MIL assumed we were going to have it front facing but I’m going rear facing for as long as possible. I used to love the capsule because I could transfer her easily from pram to car to house without waking her.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2019 12:51
|
|
|
eiles posted:Hello, I am newly expecting and trying to sort through some of the information on genetic screening options. My provider offers Horizon carrier screen and Panorama NIPT. We are leaning towards the NIPT, but I was curious of others experiences with these types of testing. NIPT tests the baby's DNA in your bloodstream while carrier screening tests you for genetic conditions you could possibly be a carrier for and subsequently pass down to a child. The NIPT screens for chromosomal abnormalities already present in the baby. A carrier screen shows you conditions that may or may not have been transmitted to the baby, which would then bring up the question of whether or not you would go on with a diagnostic test to ID if something really WAS passed down (eg. amniocentesis, or CVS). Carrier screens test for more conditions than the NIPT. There is no right or wrong answer with prenatal testing. If you want all of the tests, awesome that's fine. If you don't want to do any testing, awesome that's fine too. It's really up to you. You can do NIPT or carrier screening, both or neither. I will say I typically see NIPT testing as more commonplace, both as a choice offered and chosen by women. Carrier screening is something I have seen offered when there is a family history of genetic illnesses or defects or the woman is part of a high risk population (Ashkenazi Jewish for example) or after a woman has already given birth to a child with issues and they want to ID the condition or the likelihood of it being passed down to a subsequent child. That being said, your provider isn't wrong to offer you the option of doing both tests. It does give you more options to choose from but that choice can be difficult to make. You can ask yourself "if there is an abnormality with this child, would I want to know?" and then "to what extent am I willing to test to have this information?" to help you narrow down your choice. You might not want to know, and that's fine too! You don't have to do prenatal testing. JibbaJabberwocky fucked around with this message at 17:31 on Feb 1, 2019 |
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2019 17:25
|
|
|
I’m barely into my third trimester and was having significant hip pain, especially while trying to sleep. I have a giant pregnancy pillow and an SI belt when I’m up but I was still waking up every hour or two needing to roll over, and couldn’t stay in bed for more than six hours because the pain got too bad. I remembered reading about memory foam mattress toppers in this thread so I splurged and got one. It is night two with it and it’s made a huge difference. It lets me lay with most of my weight supported by the small of my back instead of directly over the hip, but my belly still has support on the side. I’m not lying on my back but I am reclined more that way, and my hip isn’t taking all the pressure. I was in bed for nine hours and I think I woke up three times, only mild hip pain this morning. Highly recommend a memory foam topper if you are uncomfortable trying to sleep. As long as I’m recommending things, I’ve been using Palmer’s belly butter since the second trimester and I haven’t had any itchiness or tight feeling. It’s super thick and greasy and stays on all day long, I really like it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2019 16:10
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:As long as I’m recommending things, I’ve been using Palmer’s belly butter since the second trimester and I haven’t had any itchiness or tight feeling. It’s super thick and greasy and stays on all day long, I really like it. Best of luck, but I understand it's mostly genetic. Wife had no problems with stretch marks until 2 weeks before due date doing her skin care routine, then it was suddenly a watermelon patterned belly.
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2019 23:39
|
|
|
I didn't seem to get the stretchmark pattern till after pregnancy with my first one. They didn't seem to appear until after I deflated (or I just couldn't see them prior I guess).
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2019 01:28
|
|
|
Even just avoiding the belly itches is a plus, especially in the middle of winter. Does anyone have recommendations as to how much newborn/0-3 month clothing to get? We’re planning on doing mostly cloth diapers so I’m relegating myself to the laundry life, but like... how many clothes do babies go through daily/weekly? Assuming (ha) an average sized baby, can I mostly get away with cuffing 3-6mo stuff? Entering the third trimester is making me face the fact that I basically know nothing about day-to-day baby care, other than people are trying to sell me everything.
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2019 01:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 5, 2024 03:42 |
|
|
BadSamaritan posted:Does anyone have recommendations as to how much newborn/0-3 month clothing to get? We’re planning on doing mostly cloth diapers so I’m relegating myself to the laundry life, but like... how many clothes do babies go through daily/weekly? Assuming (ha) an average sized baby, can I mostly get away with cuffing 3-6mo stuff? An average size baby can wear newborn size for a few weeks so 3-6mo clothes would be huge on them. You can skip newborn and cuff 0-3mo but I wouldn’t skip 0-3mo altogether. Do yourself a favor and just get zipper footed pajamas, that’s all they need for the first few months. How many depends on how fast they grow and how often they spit up. My monster baby has outgrown 4 sizes in 3 months but we still have at least 5-6 pjs in each size because he can easily soil that many in one day between spit up and blowouts. I do laundry daily.
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2019 02:50
|
|
