Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

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Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Kikas posted:

If anything this shows how bad the video game voice actors situation is. If as a VA you have to go as low as this game, the situation is dire.
I mean writing bad dialogue in video games is nothing new, but having people read it out loud? That's just cruelty.

I dunno if it speaks to the profession as a whole as much as it speaks to buying what you can afford. As much as I hate to go to bat for such a tone-deaf kusoge, in complete fairness, small-time youtube people and no capacity to master audio or control the quality of the base recording is probably all their budget could get.

How do you frame it... remember Where the Water Tastes Like Wine? (lol.) The game where the devs hired the lead singer from Sting to narrate their game for $100,000 when the rest of the game cost $20k to develop. There's kind of a price gulf where you can get some guy off Fiverr to record twenty minutes of audio, or find various amateur voice talent off yt or other small projects, and that'll cost you very little and you'll probably get exactly what you pay for. But if you want professional talent, you're gonna have to shell out five, six figures.

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There's a sinister possibility here, too, of course, which is that they didn't pay their voice actors at all and got their cast on the promise of "exposure." But I'd like to give even this team the benefit of the doubt that they're at least decent people outside of their game.

Fur20 fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Jan 20, 2019

# ? Jan 20, 2019 09:56

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# ? May 15, 2024 12:39

hexwren: Feb 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/N8_The_Gamer/status/1086149909944979457

# ? Jan 20, 2019 10:20

Hwurmp: May 20, 2005

just like all the rest of the references then

# ? Jan 20, 2019 11:30

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Man, I'd rather have a slew of Russian hentai puzzle games than any single thing that Yiik fucker makes again.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 11:51

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

hexwren posted:

https://twitter.com/N8_The_Gamer/status/1086149909944979457

Oh, hey, that's is the game whose website is literally waifubartending.com! poo poo ALL THE WAY DOWN

(apparently they just share a publisher, but still, cursed)

# ? Jan 20, 2019 12:11

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

I don�t understand why Va11halla (or whatever) is so beloved when all of its dialog seems awful and it has heinous poo poo like the cheerful robot prostitute designed too look like an underage girl, who the player is supposed to find wackily endearing and not creepy/annoying as poo poo

# ? Jan 20, 2019 12:44

Hwurmp: May 20, 2005

some guy on RockPaperShotgun once praised it for avoiding "the usual dregs of anime bullshit" lol

# ? Jan 20, 2019 12:51

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

And it has like a loving 98% rating along with a sequel. I know people love garbage but how can they love garbage this passionately?

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Im sorry, people liked Vallhalla for reasons other than it looking like a lost msx title?

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:06

claw game handjob: Mar 27, 2007; pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Barudak posted:

Im sorry, people liked Vallhalla for reasons other than it looking like a lost msx title?

Oh, that was the reason? Because if you want that (and this might belong in this thread too, it's loving inscrutable in a way I can't tell if it's the language barrier), a dude literally created and released a new MSX game on Steam in 2017.

Seriously. If you boot it up it's actually an emulator running MSX code. He has a second game that seems to be having development problems in the same vein.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:08

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

Yes, an overwhelming consensus of people and websites praised it for its emotional story and dialog

Both of which were vomited from the depths of an anime convention

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:10

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Alien Rope Burn posted:

It's also got a bizarre, incoherent, and deeply patronizing rant about grief:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UIcy86Pbmg&t=264s

Wow, that was bad. And then to add to the author's tone deafness it immediately jumps to "Giant golden lama that says, 'Lemonade.' LOL"

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:11

Hwurmp: May 20, 2005

the use of lovely references in place of actual jokes, plot, or character development strikes a strong chord with people who would write "EPIC WIN ^_^" as a full review

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:13

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

It literally has George loving Costanza appear and do a goddamn Seinfeld routine. Not like a copy or parody, it�s just him. It�s been like 20 loving years, maybe the writers could have done some fresher material.

QUICKSILVER�S GETTING UPSET.

Bee Movie would have been a more timely reference.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:21

Hwurmp: May 20, 2005

Bee Movie but "bee" is replaced with DeviantArt OC background dumps

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:27

kirbysuperstar: Nov 11, 2012; Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess.

END ME SCOOB posted:

Oh, that was the reason? Because if you want that (and this might belong in this thread too, it's loving inscrutable in a way I can't tell if it's the language barrier), a dude literally created and released a new MSX game on Steam in 2017.

Seriously. If you boot it up it's actually an emulator running MSX code. He has a second game that seems to be having development problems in the same vein.

Hell yeah that dude loving owns.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:29

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

Really Pants posted:

Bee Movie but "bee" is replaced with DeviantArt OC background dumps

And it has a higher rating score than Half-life 2, Psychonauts and Witcher 3

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:31

RatHat: Dec 31, 2007; A tiny behatted rat👒🐀!

Quicksilver6 posted:

It literally has George loving Costanza appear and do a goddamn Seinfeld routine. Not like a copy or parody, it�s just him. It�s been like 20 loving years, maybe the writers could have done some fresher material.

QUICKSILVER�S GETTING UPSET.

Bee Movie would have been a more timely reference.

Is there a video of this? That is incredible(ly bad).

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:38

kirbysuperstar: Nov 11, 2012; Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess.

RatHat posted:

Is there a video of this? That is incredible(ly bad).

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3783500

I forget which part it's in though, could probably find it by searching each page for Costanza.

..also I don't know if that needs archives or not.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 13:59

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

Kikas posted:

If anything this shows how bad the video game voice actors situation is. If as a VA you have to go as low as this game, the situation is dire.
I mean writing bad dialogue in video games is nothing new, but having people read it out loud? That's just cruelty.

The voice actor for the anachronistic hipster is a sexual abuser or something

# ? Jan 20, 2019 16:28

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

The cognitive dissonance, what the hell man. YIIKES

# ? Jan 20, 2019 16:40

Twitch: Apr 15, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Palpek posted:

vs

The cognitive dissonance, what the hell man. YIIKES

I wish adult bullies were a thing.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 18:03

Kanfy: Jan 9, 2012; Just gotta keep walking down that road.

Adult bullying is called harassment, and it's not something I'd endorse over a bad video game.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 18:40

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Some people deserve to be locked in a locker as adults

# ? Jan 20, 2019 18:59

FoneBone: Oct 24, 2004; stupid, stupid rat creatures

Discendo Vox posted:

This is looking absolutely incredible.

~~Iirc two brothers is playable and completeable, but makes no sense as resources ran out and they had to sort of suddenly terminate the "plot" on a downer ending, like a bad clone of a bad limbo clone.~~ No wait that was just "Brothers".

Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons? I�m not really sure what you�re talking about with regard to the ending.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 19:13

Lucinice: Feb 15, 2012; You look tired. Maybe you should stop posting.

It hasn't even been a year since Hunt Down the Freeman and already we have another indie game that's reached similar levels of infamy.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 19:27

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

A few more screens:

# ? Jan 20, 2019 19:32

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

insecure male video game journalist rpg. based on earthbound but "humblebrag" replaces "pray".

# ? Jan 20, 2019 19:37

Dark_Swordmaster: Oct 31, 2011

pleas stop

# ? Jan 20, 2019 20:05

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

this makes major minor look subdued and nuanced.

# ? Jan 20, 2019 22:16

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.