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PaybackJack
May 21, 2003

You'll hit your head and say: 'Boy, how stupid could I have been. A moron could've figured this out. I must be a real dimwit. A pathetic nimnal. A wretched idiotic excuse for a human being for not having figured these simple puzzles out in the first place...As usual, you've been a real pantload!

GoutPatrol posted:

The other person on the bike was hired by Bischoff

"See this is the kind of bullshit reporting you get with Dave Meltzer. Who fed him this information? Then he goes out and reports it and his stupid cronies eat it up and regurgitate it verbatim as if it was the truth. What happened on that night? Who knows? I don't know, you don't know, and Dave Meltzer certainly doesn't have a loving clue. There were so many wheels spinning at corporate that it could have been any stooge in the office that made the decision to have someone crash into Dave and delay the observer. As usual thought, Dave twists it and puts his spin on it and turns it into this Machiavellian plot to take him out and frames me as the evil mastermind behind it all. I had so many things going on that the thought I would insert myself into this bullshit is laughable. Could I have done it? Sure. Absolutely. Who loving remembers though because it was like 5 days ago. I have better things to do with my time than listen to every internet rumor written by dirt sheet writers who have no clue how the business actually works. You know what I do have time for now, Conrad? Blue chew."

#83Weeks

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Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
The Road Warriors are the epitome of bad rear end awesome territory wrestlers who kick the poo poo out of teams and then move on to the next territory before it got old or over exposed. Just never worked as well when they had to stick around long, because to create some drama you need someone to beat The Road Warriors or for them to look a little weaker, which no one wants.

a big fat bunny
Oct 4, 2002

woo look at 'em gonk



i'm amazed Bryan didn't audibly groan when Dave mentioned daily audio. But i'm assuming we're going to be getting a lot more Garrett which is absolutely fine by me.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
There might not be audio on Thursday Dave isn't sure since he will be in surgery.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


I desperately want Dave’s review of the operation, he might talk about the surgeon blading him or something it’s gonna own

coconono
Aug 11, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
there will be beeping for the beep fans if he calls in from his hospital room

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


MassRafTer posted:

There might not be audio on Thursday Dave isn't sure since he will be in surgery.

Dang, was hoping for for a Dave doped up podcast

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


forkboy84 posted:

Dang, was hoping for for a Dave doped up podcast
Id be amazed if it wasn’t a local anaesthetic

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

jesus WEP posted:

I desperately want Dave’s review of the operation, he might talk about the surgeon blading him or something it’s gonna own

Imagine what Meltzer daydreams about when he's under general anaesthetic

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

rovert posted:

Imagine what Meltzer daydreams about when he's under general anaesthetic

Asian roller derby girls in Aaron Pico t-shirts

PaybackJack
May 21, 2003

You'll hit your head and say: 'Boy, how stupid could I have been. A moron could've figured this out. I must be a real dimwit. A pathetic nimnal. A wretched idiotic excuse for a human being for not having figured these simple puzzles out in the first place...As usual, you've been a real pantload!
You just know Dave is the kind of guy that day dreams about writing the Observer...and it's still late.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

rovert posted:

Imagine what Meltzer daydreams about when he's under general anaesthetic

a world where the Montreal Screwjob never happened and he never has to talk about it again

TL
Jan 16, 2006

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

Fallen Rib
I’m a fairly new listener, but Bryan’s incredulity at Dave trying to say “this is the plan this second, but I’m acknowledging that the plans are at the whims of an old man with brain worms and can change at the drop of a hat” is already fairly grating.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

TL posted:

I’m a fairly new listener, but Bryan’s incredulity at Dave trying to say “this is the plan this second, but I’m acknowledging that the plans are at the whims of an old man with brain worms and can change at the drop of a hat” is already fairly grating.

This is absolutely PREPOSTEROUS.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


TL posted:

I’m a fairly new listener, but Bryan’s incredulity at Dave trying to say “this is the plan this second, but I’m acknowledging that the plans are at the whims of an old man with brain worms and can change at the drop of a hat” is already fairly grating.

Yeah, I kinda mentioned this a couple pages ago. Bryan's shtick walks a fine line between entertaining and "how can you have done this job for so long and still not understand how WWE works?"

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
I don't blame Bryan after they had Lashley beat Roman for no reason during the summer and Dave assumed it was to set up a challenger, but it wasn't.

Super No Vacancy
Jul 26, 2012

bryan is valiantly trying to combat the hypernormalization of mcmahon brainworms and you all are complaining because he hasn't given up yet

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
I thought it was weird that neither Dave nor Bryan could fathom why you would ever do a move or submission to someone in the Royal Rumble. To wear them down and make them easier to toss out? Or do they want every Royal Rumble to be guys pushing each other against the ropes like every WWE video game?

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


MassRafTer posted:

I don't blame Bryan after they had Lashley beat Roman for no reason during the summer and Dave assumed it was to set up a challenger, but it wasn't.
I don't think you can blame Vince for Roman getting cancer (and if you can why wasn't it in the 64 god drat)

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


I think bryan Alvarez might just be really stupid.

Smoking Crow
Feb 14, 2012

*laughs at u*

Tato posted:

I thought it was weird that neither Dave nor Bryan could fathom why you would ever do a move or submission to someone in the Royal Rumble. To wear them down and make them easier to toss out? Or do they want every Royal Rumble to be guys pushing each other against the ropes like every WWE video game?

I want it to look as close to a shoot as possible

Have Vinny put the match together

Daunte Vicknabb
Feb 22, 2005

You are already dead
You shouldn't listen to Bryan and Vinnie for analysis of the quality of the product that has any value besides comedy. Even Dave, honestly. Being a good entertainer or good reporter on stuff related to arts does not by any means make you good at critique of that art. Dave's biases in wrestling matches are hilariously apparent at this point, dude absolutely loves moves and overwrought "psychology" and basically can't bring himself to say anything bad about almost anyone in his circle (Charlotte was the obvious one, but I think Natalya has to be included at this point and Ospreay etc). He doesn't understand comedy wrestling at all or the sort of irony-poisoned love of a guy like Taichi.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Daunte Vicknabb posted:

You shouldn't listen to Bryan and Vinnie for analysis of the quality of the product that has any value besides comedy. Even Dave, honestly. Being a good entertainer or good reporter on stuff related to arts does not by any means make you good at critique of that art. Dave's biases in wrestling matches are hilariously apparent at this point, dude absolutely loves moves and overwrought "psychology" and basically can't bring himself to say anything bad about almost anyone in his circle (Charlotte was the obvious one, but I think Natalya has to be included at this point and Ospreay etc). He doesn't understand comedy wrestling at all or the sort of irony-poisoned love of a guy like Taichi.

How dare you imply the love of Taichi is anything but sincere sir? HOW DARE YOU

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


Daunte Vicknabb posted:

You shouldn't listen to Bryan and Vinnie for analysis of the quality of the product that has any value besides comedy. Even Dave, honestly. Being a good entertainer or good reporter on stuff related to arts does not by any means make you good at critique of that art. Dave's biases in wrestling matches are hilariously apparent at this point, dude absolutely loves moves and overwrought "psychology" and basically can't bring himself to say anything bad about almost anyone in his circle (Charlotte was the obvious one, but I think Natalya has to be included at this point and Ospreay etc). He doesn't understand comedy wrestling at all or the sort of irony-poisoned love of a guy like Taichi.

This is all true but that's like the entire point of listening to Dave, there's no reason for me to go out of my way to listen to a podcast where someone is just echoing my own beliefs.

Incessant Excess
Aug 15, 2005

Cause of glitch:
Pretentiousness
I don't think Dave is right that they're setting up Asuka up as a challenger down the line, I think they just figured that Becky is winning the Rumble so no one will remember that she lost beforehand.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

jesus WEP posted:

I don't think you can blame Vince for Roman getting cancer (and if you can why wasn't it in the 64 god drat)

It has nothing to do with cancer they 50-50ed it before Roman even won the title and had no plans to make it a program.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Daunte Vicknabb posted:

or the sort of irony-poisoned love of a guy like Taichi.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one, frankly.

ICHIBAHN
Feb 21, 2007

by Cyrano4747
Daunte with the wrong one

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

Incessant Excess posted:

I don't think Dave is right that they're setting up Asuka up as a challenger down the line, I think they just figured that Becky is winning the Rumble so no one will remember that she lost beforehand.

Pretty much. It doesn't hurt to lose to Asuka, she's a badass. Made Asuka look good and as soon as Becky came out in the Rumble, literally no one cared or remembered the tap-out. The pop on Monday was massive for Becky.

I think Dave and Bryan's brains have been broken by so much WWE insanity that sometimes they cannot fathom the simplest and most direct explanation for something.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


Tato posted:

Pretty much. It doesn't hurt to lose to Asuka, she's a badass. Made Asuka look good and as soon as Becky came out in the Rumble, literally no one cared or remembered the tap-out. The pop on Monday was massive for Becky.

I think Dave and Bryan's brains have been broken by so much WWE insanity that sometimes they cannot fathom the simplest and most direct explanation for something.

See also: Bryan thinking Sasha turns heel every time she doesn't smile

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

Tato posted:

Pretty much. It doesn't hurt to lose to Asuka, she's a badass. Made Asuka look good and as soon as Becky came out in the Rumble, literally no one cared or remembered the tap-out. The pop on Monday was massive for Becky.

I think Dave and Bryan's brains have been broken by so much WWE insanity that sometimes they cannot fathom the simplest and most direct explanation for something.

Having your WrestleMania main eventer lose clean before winning the Rumble and not having it lead to anything is bad booking. Justifying a decision in a title match with "People forgot about it by the end of the show" is WWE Creative type thinking. It's why the titles mean nothing and why they have less fans than ever before, nothing means anything.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Daunte Vicknabb posted:

You shouldn't listen to Bryan and Vinnie for analysis of the quality of the product that has any value besides comedy. Even Dave, honestly. Being a good entertainer or good reporter on stuff related to arts does not by any means make you good at critique of that art. Dave's biases in wrestling matches are hilariously apparent at this point, dude absolutely loves moves and overwrought "psychology" and basically can't bring himself to say anything bad about almost anyone in his circle (Charlotte was the obvious one, but I think Natalya has to be included at this point and Ospreay etc). He doesn't understand comedy wrestling at all or the sort of irony-poisoned love of a guy like Taichi.

I don't know if it is because him and I have the same tastes or that he's shaped my tastes over like the last . . . poo poo I think I subscribed to the Observer for the first time in like 2003. I always go off/on because my interest in wrestling ebbs and flows over a course of a year. Regardless, though, I am definitely looking for Dave's analysis of a match, because our tastes are similar (although, I have a lot more room in my heart for wrestlers to ironically and then eventually sincerely enjoy. . . like Nia . . . .our first steps were last night)

Still, I am surprised his ratings are something people gamble on, because like you say it's a very clear what he likes and it's not an objective rating on the a match in any way, and people treat it as such which is annoying in today's internet world of people who don't know the difference between objective and subjective analysis.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

MassRafTer posted:

Having your WrestleMania main eventer lose clean before winning the Rumble and not having it lead to anything is bad booking. Justifying a decision in a title match with "People forgot about it by the end of the show" is WWE Creative type thinking. It's why the titles mean nothing and why they have less fans than ever before, nothing means anything.

Dave is right that once upon a time, it was pretty common for a person to lose right before their championship winning program, with the person they lost to ending up their next opponent. But yeah too often it never pays off anymore, almost nothing ever pays off.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


MassRafTer posted:

Having your WrestleMania main eventer lose clean before winning the Rumble and not having it lead to anything is bad booking. Justifying a decision in a title match with "People forgot about it by the end of the show" is WWE Creative type thinking. It's why the titles mean nothing and why they have less fans than ever before, nothing means anything.

Why does it have to lead to something? That's the kind of overwrought thinking that gets Dave and Bryan tied up in knots. Asuka is good. She was a monster in NXT and they wasted her on the main roster. Her beating Becky clean is a way to elevate Asuka's stature back to where it needs to be, while knowing full well that it doesn't impact Becky one bit. She has too much momentum. And they're right! She came out for the Rumble and on Raw and no one cared that she lost.

NikkolasKing
Apr 3, 2010



I dunno, Bryan and Vinny (and Craig) seem spot on about Retro Raw so far. It's an abomination that should be stricken from the Earth.

The first more "modern" review of theirs I listened to was for Royal Rumble. I generally agreed with them except I didn't like Lesnar winning because I kinda hate Brock Lesnar. But he is a big dude beating up a little dude and Bryan likes that and so would I if the big dude was anybody but Brock.

Other than that I don't really listen to reviews.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Why does it have to lead to something? That's the kind of overwrought thinking that gets Dave and Bryan tied up in knots. Asuka is good. She was a monster in NXT and they wasted her on the main roster. Her beating Becky clean is a way to elevate Asuka's stature back to where it needs to be, while knowing full well that it doesn't impact Becky one bit. She has too much momentum. And they're right! She came out for the Rumble and on Raw and no one cared that she lost.

Because that's how you tell good stories and get people interested in your product, by having things mean something. When you have someone beat your WrestleMania main event winner people should think "Hey I want to see them fight" not hope they completely forget it so your WrestleMania main eventer still gets a pop

Draxion
Jun 9, 2013




What argument are you trying to make here? We did just see them fight, Asuka beat her because Asuka's the champion. Becky was in this match in the first place because she claimed Asuka wasn't able to win on her own. Is your ideal outcome here for Becky to be proven right and then gently caress off to Raw while Asuka looks like a champ who can't win her own matches?

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


MassRafTer posted:

Because that's how you tell good stories and get people interested in your product, by having things mean something. When you have someone beat your WrestleMania main event winner people should think "Hey I want to see them fight" not hope they completely forget it so your WrestleMania main eventer still gets a pop

So you perception of the outcome of the events at the Royal Rumble is that people are not interested in Becky Lynch's story?

Your Parents
Jul 19, 2017

by R. Guyovich

The Kimoa Kid posted:

So you perception of the outcome of the events at the Royal Rumble is that people are not interested in Becky Lynch's story?

he doesnt watch the shows.

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MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

The Kimoa Kid posted:

So you perception of the outcome of the events at the Royal Rumble is that people are not interested in Becky Lynch's story?

"It's bad and illogical to have your biggest star lose and not get anything out of it."

"SO YOU THINK PEOPLE AREN'T INTERESTED IN BECKY?"

You are in fact correct that is why ratings are at record lows and people aren't going to the live events. People aren't interested in her, she's a huge failure. Thank you for pointing this out.

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