UKMT January: What a fucking mess

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January: What a fucking mess

Do you currently have a prepaid utility meter? This poll is closed.
Yes - both gas and electric	32	4.71%
Yes - gas only	4	0.59%
Yes - electric only	33	4.85%
Yes - plus prepaid water (this exists and is terrible)	0	0%
No - Direct Debit/Standing Order	336	49.41%
No - utilities are included as part of my tenancy/cohab/basement goonery	65	9.56%
No - I'm off-grid or still get a coal man	6	0.88%
No - my house is powered by Pressurized Boiling Hot Takes	67	9.85%
Pissflaps - via some sort of treadmill arrangement	137	20.15%
Total:	680 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Certainly large size milk jugs of any variety are often difficult for olds because they tend to have poo poo motor control or arm/wrist/finger strength which is part of why they often buy smaller jugs.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 20:54

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# ? May 23, 2024 04:40

kustomkarkommando: Oct 22, 2012

sudo rm -rf posted:

like a 12oz or 16oz beer would be pretty standard, but then some places serve as high as 32oz beers.

We have specific laws setting that you can only sell draught beer and cider as 1/2 pints and multiples of 1/2 a pint (as well as the much more uncommon 1/3 and 2/3, but not multiples of these).

Same way we have legally specified spirit measurements - 25ml for the weak English and the superior 35ml Irish/Scottish measure (although you have the option to use either to allow for customary variance)

# ? Jan 31, 2019 20:57

RabidWeasel: Aug 4, 2007; Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!

Regarde Aduck posted:

There's no way they did anything other than stand in the middle of the kitchen and tear the bag open and then get furiously bamboozled.

IIRC she did use one of those jugs, but somehow got the spout to detach from the bag so all the milk just leaked out when you tried to pour

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:01

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

RE; Thatcher statue.

New game!

How high can you all piss?

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:08

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

learnincurve posted:

How high can you all piss?

Definitely past the point where I can operate a toilet.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:09

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

learnincurve posted:

RE; Thatcher statue.

New game!

How high can you all piss?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc

Challenge pissing! Can you piss 6 feet straight up in the air without getting wet?

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:11

Pesky Splinter: Feb 16, 2011; A worried pug.

Launch the piss drone

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:12

Plasmafountain: Jun 17, 2008

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:14

OrthoTrot: Dec 10, 2006; Its either Trotsky or its Notsky

Any Streatham goons in the current Labour Party All Members Meeting? Currently attempting to wrest control from Chuka's clique.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:19

coffeetable: Feb 5, 2006; TELL ME AGAIN HOW GREAT BRITAIN WOULD BE IF IT WAS RULED BY THE MERCILESS JACKBOOT OF PRINCE CHARLES

YES I DO TALK TO PLANTS ACTUALLY

Pochoclo posted:

(assuming you mean these)

This is something that absolutely puzzled me when I moved over here. In South America, sachets are THE main form people buy milk in - because it's generally cheaper, around 30% cheaper than the cardboard tetra paks I think, it's been a while.

Here, they don't even exist, I haven't seen a single one. How is it that it's cheaper in South America, but not cheaper here? I'd think plastic costs are close to being the same everywhere in this day and age. Or are they cheaper, but no one wants to buy them because reasons?

So my original thesis was that milk is far more expensive here, meaning the packaging is relatively cheaper. Turns out that's not the case - milk in the UK is about a dollar a litre, and milk in Brazil is a dollar a litre. So the only thing I can think of is that everyone in the UK is filthy rich at a median $30k/household/year, compared to Brazil's $7.5k/household/year.

Apparently we spend the other $22.5k on nice packaging for our milk.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:24

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

Flipswitch posted:

Just had a grab bag of Big Hula Hoops Spicy Chilli.

loving beast of a pack of crisps, craving more.

They changed them recently - previously they were actually a bit spicy, now they changed them to be less spicy and more sweet. Disappointing.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:30

HobbitGrease: Jul 24, 2001; Young Orc

Pochoclo posted:

(assuming you mean these)

This is something that absolutely puzzled me when I moved over here. In South America, sachets are THE main form people buy milk in - because it's generally cheaper, around 30% cheaper than the cardboard tetra paks I think, it's been a while.

Here, they don't even exist, I haven't seen a single one. How is it that it's cheaper in South America, but not cheaper here? I'd think plastic costs are close to being the same everywhere in this day and age. Or are they cheaper, but no one wants to buy them because reasons?

We had milk bags at the cafeteria in my elementary school in Florida, and people think I'm nuts when I describe them.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:30

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

the only milk bags I need are between me legs

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:31

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDpRJErD5Uo

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:32

Trainee PornStar: Jul 20, 2006; I'm just an inbetweener

coffeetable posted:

everyone in the UK is filthy rich at a median $30k/household/year, compared to Brazil's $7.5k/household/year.

Don't worry, after brexit the UK will make even war torn african countries look prosperous. lol
(& I live here)

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:33

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

Years after the Brexit vote I just realised that, once this goes through, the right wing tabloids calling for the death penalty to come back is actually going to be a risk isn't it? :ohdear:

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:35

Trainee PornStar: Jul 20, 2006; I'm just an inbetweener

JFairfax posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDpRJErD5Uo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJsju00-rgM

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:35

Sanford: Jun 30, 2007; ...and rarely post!

Convex posted:

Years after the Brexit vote I just realised that, once this goes through, the right wing tabloids calling for the death penalty to come back is actually going to be a risk isn't it?

If by �risk� you mean �certainty� then yes

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:36

Surprise Giraffe: Apr 30, 2007; 1 Lunar Road
Moon crater
The Moon

Convex posted:

Years after the Brexit vote I just realised that, once this goes through, the right wing tabloids calling for the death penalty to come back is actually going to be a risk isn't it?

loving nobody stood up to them over this shot show so definitely yes

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:37

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Convex posted:

Years after the Brexit vote I just realised that, once this goes through, the right wing tabloids calling for the death penalty to come back is actually going to be a risk isn't it?

One sunshine ray though, you get to see the reaction on the Gammon's face when they realize they can't take it to the EU courts.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:46

AceOfFlames: Oct 9, 2012

My mom is so convinced there will be no Brexit that when I mentioned the 5:1 betting odds she offered to match them. Should I take her money?

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:48

Trainee PornStar: Jul 20, 2006; I'm just an inbetweener

happyhippy posted:

One sunshine ray though, you get to see the reaction on the Gammon's face when they realize they can't take it to the EU courts.

you do realise it'll probably be the gammons doing the shooting?

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:49

Plasmafountain: Jun 17, 2008

AceOfFlames posted:

My mom is so convinced there will be no Brexit that when I mentioned the 5:1 betting odds she offered to match them. Should I take her money?

What's the point? She'll probably refuse to pay.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:54

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

JFairfax posted:

the only milk bags I need are between me legs

You probably need a more supportive bra.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:58

OrthoTrot: Dec 10, 2006; Its either Trotsky or its Notsky

Lol Chuka is literally standing at the back of the meeting. Think he's probably won though. Going to be tight either way.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 21:59

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Zero Gravitas posted:

What's the point? She'll probably refuse to pay.

Yeah I've now got a hard policy of not making bets with friends/family (beyond a pint) since I made one for like £20 and won and the guy just said oh no I wasn't serious! Prick absolutely has known me long enough to know he'd have gotten his money if he'd won, the absolute chancer, hope he tries that scam with the mob.

So yeah, don't bother unless you actually want to force your mum to sign a contract lol

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:00

Rooted Vegetable: Jun 1, 2002

If you need a distraction, there's new, relaxed rules on obscene porn. Obviously before now everyone studiously obeyed the strict rules.

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-47069414

quote:

Obscene porn rules relaxed in England and Wales

Guidelines about what constitutes "obscene" pornography have been relaxed in England and Wales.

The Crown Prosecution Service had previously listed torture and bondage, among other acts, as obscene.

Distributing that type of pornography either on or offline could therefore have led to a prosecution.

But the CPS has now removed the list and replaced it with series of "tests" that determine whether an image or video is classed as obscene.

What has changed?
Owning or distributing an "obscene" video is an offence under the Obscene Publications Act.

Some of the acts previously listed by the CPS were legal to perform with a consenting adult, but were illegal to depict in photos or videos.

"Distributing" obscene material can simply mean sending a video via private message and it can be punished with time in prison.

While the definition of obscene is likely to mean more than just "shocking" or "disgusting", it is open to interpretation.

For that reason, the CPS previously offered guidance that described the sort of content that could lead to a prosecution.

The list included clearly illegal acts, such as having sex with an animal (bestiality).

However, it also listed practices that others argued were not harmful among consenting adults, such as:

sadomasochism
torture with instruments
bondage
activities involving "perversion", such as urinating or defecating on to the body
Now, the CPS has removed all the specific examples from its guidance.

"It is not for the CPS to decide what is considered good taste or objectionable," it said in a statement.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:01

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

OrthoTrot posted:

Lol Chuka is literally standing at the back of the meeting. Think he's probably won though. Going to be tight either way.

Is there a queue for the facilities? Because I guarantee you can make him disappear if you tell him there's a line in the toilets.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:01

OrthoTrot: Dec 10, 2006; Its either Trotsky or its Notsky

Guavanaut posted:

Is there a queue for the facilities? Because I guarantee you can make him disappear if you tell him there's a line in the toilets.

See what you've done there.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:03

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Heners_UK posted:

If you need a distraction, there's new, relaxed rules on obscene porn. Obviously before now everyone studiously obeyed the strict rules.

torture with instruments

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-47069414

Too late for all the Portsmouth Sinfonia videos out there.

namesake fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Jan 31, 2019

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:04

limited: Dec 10, 2005; Limited Sanity

Heners_UK posted:

If you need a distraction, there's new, relaxed rules on obscene porn. Obviously before now everyone studiously obeyed the strict rules.

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-47069414

Godfuckingdammit. Now that takes the fun out of it, now it's not as forbidden as it was before.

Anyway, a dusting of snow has finally come to my area, time for everything to grind to a halt, papers to lament how we aren't ready for something we get maybe once a year, and completely ignore the suicide cliff we're within spitting distance of going over. :downsgun:

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:07

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Heners_UK posted:

If you need a distraction, there's new, relaxed rules on obscene porn. Obviously before now everyone studiously obeyed the strict rules.

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-47069414

It's quite remarkable just how wrong a single story can be, really. Short version - OPA does *not* cover videos, only images. The rules have not been relaxed, they've been harmonised with the Video Recordings Act 1984 (for items sold in registered sex shops) and the Sexual Offences Act 2003 and a few other laws (or rather CPS have confirmed what had been the status quo since the passing of the AV regulations in 2014 - that they will not prosecute under the OPA any publication that would be legal under VRA if they were videos).

In fact this is almost an exact copy of the harmonisation in 2014 for online content - the one that led to all those fun "Sex is now illegal in Britain" stories - but because this time they were smart enough to actually put out a press release with "Obscene publications law relaxed" it's being reported on that way. Proper harmonisation has been on the back burner for a couple of years but Parliament has been unaccountably busy since 2016...

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:12

Judoon Platoon: Nov 1, 2010

https://twitter.com/francesweetman/status/1091053264114724864?s=21

:negative:

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:14

Pesky Splinter: Feb 16, 2011; A worried pug.

limited posted:

Godfuckingdammit. Now that takes the fun out of it, now it's not as forbidden as it was before.

In the comfort of his shed, David Cameron smiles warmly at the moist feeling of the sow's mouth; the taboo of defiling meat still sancrosact, still sweetly forbidden.

Judoon Platoon posted:

Weetman is just pissed that nobody outside the FBPE twitter-sphere either knows who she is, or gives the remotest gently caress what she thinks. And tries the most transparent desperate poo poo in the hopes that someone will take notice and give her a job at the New Statesman, or as a talking head representing a "sensible moderate voice".

As if they didn't already have an inundation of that crowd.

Pesky Splinter fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Jan 31, 2019

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:15

Poison Jam: Mar 29, 2009; Shh...
We're being watched.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Parliament has been unaccountably busy since 2016...

Doing what exactly?

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:16

Gorn Myson: Aug 8, 2007

Can we ban Frances Weetman from the thread please, shes loving insufferable

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:18

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Poison Jam posted:

Doing what exactly?

Thinking about brexits.

Gorn Myson posted:

Can we ban Frances Weetman from the thread please, shes loving insufferable

Or have a UK twitter brain fund thread, that'd be great.

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:19

Rooted Vegetable: Jun 1, 2002

limited posted:

Godfuckingdammit. Now that takes the fun out of it, now it's not as forbidden as it was before.

Anyway, a dusting of snow has finally come to my area, time for everything to grind to a halt, papers to lament how we aren't ready for something we get maybe once a year, and completely ignore the suicide cliff we're within spitting distance of going over.

Doesn't that last paragraph then have an ending of "so I convinced her to take her clothes off and one thing lead to another"? Or has the spark really gone out post OPA changes...

# ? Jan 31, 2019 22:23