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Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Chichevache posted:

Wouldn't a Samsung Galaxy make more sense?

iPhones are made in China soooo

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Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer

Chichevache posted:

Wouldn't a Samsung Galaxy make more sense?

It's supposed to kill the enemy, not the user

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008


So it shatters when you drop it?

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


hobbesmaster posted:

So it shatters when you drop it?

Gets more expensive each year while becoming less reliable and stacked with unnecessary modifications.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

We've removed the ejection port to lessen weight and streamline our design

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene
It's triggerless! You point and yell shoot to shoot!

Kawasaki Nun fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Feb 8, 2019

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
All new issue soldiers required to upload their unboxing video.

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer
DISRUPTING THE WAR INDUSTRY WITH THE NEW iGUN

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

Kawasaki Nun posted:

It's triggerless! You point and yell shoot to shoot!

Also features third party apps including an artillery spotter!

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Comes preloaded with Chinese spyware

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

What the gently caress is that barrel attachment?

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


Point at face to unlock weapon

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Tryzzub posted:

H&K G11 or nothing

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

Soulex posted:

What the gently caress is that barrel attachment?

I bet you 5 dollars the new one will end up looking exactly like the old one.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

Soulex posted:

What the gently caress is that barrel attachment?

It's for shooting down police helicopters.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
THIS time the plan to make a largely plastic, fully modular rifle will work. I swear.

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene
ALL OF THIS WEAPONS ACTIONS ARE ELECTRONIC SO CHECK YOUR CHARGE BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE WIRE! THERE IS NO EXTERNAL BATTERY SUPPORT!

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

gonna hack mine so it makes the same sound effect as the gun from the t2 arcade game

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug
https://twitter.com/AP/status/1093929610419556353

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer

Hexyflexy posted:

I bet you 5 dollars the new one will end up looking exactly like the old one.

They're gonna spend 150 million testing everything under the sun then just issue free floating barrel uppers to everyone

Kawasaki Nun posted:

ALL OF THIS WEAPONS ACTIONS ARE ELECTRONIC SO CHECK YOUR CHARGE BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE WIRE! THERE IS NO EXTERNAL BATTERY SUPPORT!


*dumpster full of batteries with 86% charge left*

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Nostalgia4Butts posted:

gonna hack mine so it makes the same sound effect as the gun from the t2 arcade game

Will hack mine so that everytime I take a prone position DMX blurts out "STOP. DROP. SHUT 'EM DOWN, OPEN UP SHOP!"

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

Vasudus posted:

THIS time the plan to make a largely plastic, fully modular rifle will work. I swear.

Lol if you think “working” is anywhere near the top of the list of priorities for the guys coming up with a new contract handout

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

Fallom posted:

Lol if you think “working” is anywhere near the top of the list of priorities for the guys coming up with a new contract handout

it worked on the range

ship it

cost plus award

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Slim Pickens posted:

DISRUPTING THE WAR INDUSTRY WITH THE NEW iGUN

im a big fan mr kojima

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Handsome Ralph posted:

Will hack mine so that everytime I take a prone position DMX blurts out "STOP. DROP. SHUT 'EM DOWN, OPEN UP SHOP!"

when you flip the switch to auto my weapon plays the opening bars of Ace of Spades

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Oh I get it. They want to print the goddamn thing.

That or the contract was given to Nerf

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

Soulex posted:


That or the contract was given to Nerf

The RFP specified “nerf or nothin’”

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

nerfs quality is much too high for the military to afford

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
did they ever fix ballistic-grade composite plastics being too brittle in extreme cold

edit: can you even print ballistic-grade composite plastics in a printer? obviously not a makerbot but what about those hella insanely expensive serious business printers

Vasudus fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Feb 8, 2019

Jarmak
Jan 24, 2005

To be fair people talk about battery problems for electronic guns but depending on the design they don't necessarily take much power.

Due to the physics of the situation I imagine a firearm would take more power but my electronic paintball gun lasts like a whole season on one nine volt. We already have optics and lasers and night vision that runs on batteries I don't see why having systems on a gun is untenable. Especially if they keep a mechanical firing system so it just becomes a working "dumb" gun if the batteries fail.

And I'm saying this as a guy who did half a deployment as an RTO in the light infantry carrying 50 loving pounds of batteries.

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene
"Yeah old water noodles. We pressure compress recycled pool toys and sell it to the government for a 10000% mark up. Well, it's like Rummy said, you go to war with the army you got right? Ahahahah" - Steve Jobs of the weapons industry

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Nostalgia4Butts posted:

when you flip the switch to auto my weapon plays the opening bars of Ace of Spades

When a bayonet is attached, The Trooper begins to play loudly and on a loop until it is removed.

egyptian rat race
Jul 13, 2007

Lowtax Spine Fund 2019
Ultra Carp
I hate the idea of tertiary electronics being shoved into perfectly good mechanical systems for no reason. See: every car made after 2005 or so.

That said I would 100% buy a "brick phone" laser rifle made by Nokia

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Handsome Ralph posted:

When a bayonet is attached, The Trooper begins to play loudly and on a loop until it is removed.

gently caress thats good

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost

shame on an IGA posted:

Give them links to this thread:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3198184&pagenumber=841&perpage=40

Also anyone here in a student role who hasn't yet, read that thread and fully internalize exactly how much of a ridiculous advantage you are at over the straight-from-high-school kids with your insane godlike skills such as "communicating", "following basic instructions" and "callibrated bullshit detection".

you really only need the last 15-20 pages it's pretty repetitive, but you're robbing yourself if you don't click "Show only Mrs. Boods' Posts" and follow that entire saga from the beginning :suspense:

Thank you for giving me something to read at the bar today.

Jarmak
Jan 24, 2005

egyptian rat race posted:

I hate the idea of tertiary electronics being shoved into perfectly good mechanical systems for no reason. See: every car made after 2005 or so.

That said I would 100% buy a "brick phone" laser rifle made by Nokia

Lol what is this Luddite nonsense, cars have been run by computer since fuel injection became standard in like... the 80s.

After getting in some fights using a CROWs the idea of having a similarly effective ballistic computer in a man portable rifle would be a game changer.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug

egyptian rat race posted:

I hate the idea of tertiary electronics being shoved into perfectly good mechanical systems for no reason. See: every car made after 2005 or so.

That said I would 100% buy a "brick phone" laser rifle made by Nokia

Nokia laser rifle: Doubles as a warhammer.

PookBear
Nov 1, 2008

its really pointless to come up with a whole new rifle that uses 5.56 since the big problem going forward is the proliferation of body armor. The total weight troops carry isn't from the 8lb rifle its all the other poo poo

You could make the weapon weigh 1lb and the total gear loadout would still be loving heavy.


There is also a fundamental problem with our military where you can't lose anything. If you're getting ambushed don't ditch your backpack full of radio batteries! The best way to lighten our combat load is to compartmentalize whats necessary (water, NVGs, ammo) and then ditch everything else once the shooting starts

PookBear fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Feb 8, 2019

facialimpediment
Feb 11, 2005

as the world turns
Saying that the only thing Hitler did wrong was going global - to own the libs.

https://twitter.com/existentialfish/status/1093923658446323712?s=19

https://twitter.com/existentialfish/status/1093924109967347713?s=19

"if Hitler just wanted to make Germany great and have things run well... Ok fine!"

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colachute
Mar 15, 2015

Both sides, both sides.

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