KING ARTHUR ZONE!

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Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Got distracted but I'm back now, so, a few things!

Pick posted:

lancelot also definitely nailed that one dude on the lakeshore. gently caress what was that idiot's name.

guns for tits posted:

Wasn't lancelot made by the French as a replacement for whatever knight was previously considered the best (Kay?)

Both of these were Tristram, the knight from:

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

I picked up Le Morte d'Arthur again, and it was the section where Tristram and Lancelot fight without recognizing one another, and when they do they exchange a "hundred kisses" (verbatim).

Essentially, Tristram/Tristan and Isolde is one of the stories Lancelot was adapted from. Diarmuid of Celtic lore also came into it, a bit, but less so. They make out at a lake and end up basically loving, since they exchange, as said, "A hundred kisses" and then proceed to cuddle up that night and stay with each other until daybreak.

Skypie posted:

I think Lancelot banged a chick because she pretended to be Guinevere while he was sick or something. Then he basically discards her and rides off to pine for Guinevere until he dies

I think the lady ends up becoming a nun and so did Guinevere so good job, idiot

This was Elaine de Corbenic, Galahad's mother; to be fair, she did literally and outright rape him. He was injured and healing in her castle so she used magic to appear as Guin to force him to let his guard down, then held him down and raped him so he'd impregnate her with Galahad. I can't really blame a guy for getting outta there after being raped, and he didn't know she was pregnant until he meets Galahad way later, so. Also, Guinevere joins a convent after they run off to France and Lancelot just feels really bad until he dies of old age because he's basically blessed/cursed to be unable to die by any other way.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 21:35

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I will post the part where he shows up at the tomb and feels like an rear end in a top hat. I have that planned.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 23:08

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

*covers mouth and raises voice* post the part where galehaut details his family history *normal voice* hmm, idk who said that, but it sounds like a pretty good suggestion

the crowd demands it, pick

# ? Feb 8, 2019 23:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I actually did try to find it for you, but I can't overstate enough that I read this entire thing like five years ago. It is partially annotated with those little Post-it notes, but I wasn't very consistent on where I put them, because I wasn't doing this for a class or anything, I just did this for?? Fun?

I'm sure I'll find it if I keep looking, until then I'm randomly scanning stuff

# ? Feb 8, 2019 23:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I mean, bear in mind this loving thing is massive, I think over 1000 pages total

# ? Feb 8, 2019 23:38

Insane Totoro: Dec 5, 2005; Take cover!!!
That Totoro has an AR-15!

Pick your scans without using a book edge type scanner are hurting my librarian brains.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 00:51

Insane Totoro: Dec 5, 2005; Take cover!!!
That Totoro has an AR-15!

What loving ISBNs do you need?

# ? Feb 9, 2019 00:54

empty sea: Jul 17, 2011; gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset

I would really like a drawing to see what "the kidneys and navel of an untouched maiden" look like. Navel I think I've got a handle on, but it just makes me picture the beast with fur like a crop top.

Virginal kidneys. Amazing.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 00:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Insane Totoro posted:

Pick your scans without using a book edge type scanner are hurting my librarian brains.

OK then you do it. Everyone bother Insane Totoro now. 0-8153-0746-2.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 01:36

Insane Totoro: Dec 5, 2005; Take cover!!!
That Totoro has an AR-15!

Pick posted:

OK then you do it. Everyone bother Insane Totoro now. 0-8153-0746-2.

Do you want specifically volume 2?

Which pages do you need scanned to teach us about swords and bros

# ? Feb 9, 2019 02:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Insane Totoro posted:

Do you want specifically volume 2?

Which pages do you need scanned to teach us about swords and bros

Yes, volume 2 is the one that has the bulk of the content I'm scanning. Scan all the pages that have post-its in my personal copy.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 02:10

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

How's the prose?

Stilted, awkward, and extremely dry. Also, I can't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure holding it makes women grow body hair faster. mysterious.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 19:52

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Blade Runner posted:

Both of these were Tristram, the knight from:

Essentially, Tristram/Tristan and Isolde is one of the stories Lancelot was adapted from. Diarmuid of Celtic lore also came into it, a bit, but less so. They make out at a lake and end up basically loving, since they exchange, as said, "A hundred kisses" and then proceed to cuddle up that night and stay with each other until daybreak.

So maximum cuddles is from history? I learned something today.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 20:42

Insane Totoro: Dec 5, 2005; Take cover!!!
That Totoro has an AR-15!

Pick posted:

Yes, volume 2 is the one that has the bulk of the content I'm scanning. Scan all the pages that have post-its in my personal copy.

Learn to cite, Missy.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 20:58

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

empty sea posted:

I would really like a drawing to see what "the kidneys and navel of an untouched maiden" look like. Navel I think I've got a handle on, but it just makes me picture the beast with fur like a crop top.

Virginal kidneys. Amazing.

I would like to add to this and see a drawing of what the other body parts of an untouched maiden looks like, preferably all at once and with big boobs.

# ? Feb 9, 2019 21:04

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Nice to know the Lady of Shalott died because she just HAD to catch a glimpse of the world's sexiest bimbo-knight.

# ? Feb 10, 2019 22:50

unimportantguy: Dec 25, 2012; Hey, Johnny, what's a "shitpost"?

This thread is making me realize more than ever that my parents named me after some horny monk's gay Mary Sue.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 07:59

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

And here I thought given apparently he was started as a story to entertain some French noblewoman, Lancelot was more a Renaissance Fabio.

Probably could go either way. The history of popular fiction where everything was public domain gets really interesting. It's always a bit funny that King Arthur mythos are as popular in France as in England, albiet told in different ways. There's a bit in The Count of Monte Cristo (by a French author) where a noble boasts that their ancestors sat at the Round Table.

The Great Pendragon Campaign has Arthur's reign and conquests oddly enough analogous to William the Conquerer iirc, and parts of modern France (Brittany I think) are part of his domain.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 08:03

Mordekai: Sep 6, 2006; Salt in the wound eases the soul.

There's a worrisome lack of valiantposting in this thread.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 11:13

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

unimportantguy posted:

This thread is making me realize more than ever that my parents named me after some horny monk's gay Mary Sue.

Please tell me that's your second name.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 13:30

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

king arthur was a bit hit and miss as a king, but as a flour maker, he's pretty top notch.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 13:56

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

unimportantguy posted:

This thread is making me realize more than ever that my parents named me after some horny monk's gay Mary Sue.

Lance, or are you straight up named Lancelot?

# ? Feb 11, 2019 15:58

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

unimportantguy posted:

This thread is making me realize more than ever that my parents named me after some horny monk's gay Mary Sue.

I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure Chr�tien de Troyes wasn't a monk. He was, well, basically, just professionally French. Poet and other poo poo.

The horny monks came up with Galahad, who was even more perfect. If your name is Galahad, you already knew something wasn't right.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 16:03

Barudak: May 7, 2007

unimportantguy posted:

This thread is making me realize more than ever that my parents named me after some horny monk's gay Mary Sue.

Nice to meet you, Lohengrin

# ? Feb 11, 2019 16:04

Tsaedje: May 11, 2007; BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE

The story of Arthur's conception is kinda hosed:

Uther Pendragon fancies his vassal Gorlois' wife Igraine and tries to get her to shag him at a banquet. She tells her husband and they both sneak away. Uther is livid that they didn't ask permission to leave his party and declares war, because that's reasonable.

Gorlois sends Igraine off to safety at Tintagel but ends up besieged in a different castle himself. Meanwhile Uther gets Merlin to magically disguise him as Gorlois so he can go to Tintagel and rape Igraine. She gets pregnant with Arthur around the same time as the real Gorlois is killed by Uther's men.

It's OK though because after she is married to the undisguised Uther and confesses that she doesn't think her husband could be impregnating her and also dying at a different castle at the same time so she doesn't know who the real baby daddy is, Uther fesses up to having been the one who raped her, so the baby is sort of not a bastard after all.

And that sort of not a bastard is the once and future king!

# ? Feb 11, 2019 16:53

Fruity20: Jul 28, 2018; Do you believe in magic, Tenno?

Tsaedje posted:

The story of Arthur's conception is kinda hosed:

Uther Pendragon fancies his vassal Gorlois' wife Igraine and tries to get her to shag him at a banquet. She tells her husband and they both sneak away. Uther is livid that they didn't ask permission to leave his party and declares war, because that's reasonable.

Gorlois sends Igraine off to safety at Tintagel but ends up besieged in a different castle himself. Meanwhile Uther gets Merlin to magically disguise him as Gorlois so he can go to Tintagel and rape Igraine. She gets pregnant with Arthur around the same time as the real Gorlois is killed by Uther's men.

It's OK though because after she is married to the undisguised Uther and confesses that she doesn't think her husband could be impregnating her and also dying at a different castle at the same time so she doesn't know who the real baby daddy is, Uther fesses up to having been the one who raped her, so the baby is sort of not a bastard after all.

And that sort of not a bastard is the once and future king!

I keep forgetting alot of poo poo went down in these books.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 18:14

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Fruity20 posted:

I keep forgetting alot of poo poo went down in these books.

The prequels got weird and no one really talks about anything that happened in them.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 18:20

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Fruity20 posted:

I keep forgetting alot of poo poo went down in these books.

And yet, we all decided it's just not weird enough and Mordred needs to be an incest-baby and not just his nephew.

# ? Feb 11, 2019 19:04

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Is Etrigan the Demon really gay in the original stories too?

# ? Feb 11, 2019 19:48

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

Bedivere i'm dying, so I want you to take my cool sword and throw it in that lake over there.

And don't try and lie to me and keep the sword since I'LL KNOW!

# ? Feb 11, 2019 19:54

Mirage: Oct 27, 2000; All is for the best, in this, the best of all possible worlds

Extra Large Marge posted:

Bedivere i'm dying, so I want you to take my cool sword and throw it in that lake over there.

And don't try and lie to me and keep the sword since I'LL KNOW!

"Okay, I did it."

"Like hell you did! Now you go and throw that sword in the lake right now!"

"Oh, all right."

... later ..

"Fine, I tossed it into the lake, for reals this time."

"Did you? Did you REALLY?" *beady glare*

"... no."

# ? Feb 11, 2019 20:06

RossMan4Life: Dec 18, 2002; by R. Guyovich

The Guy Ritchie Arthur heist movie was fun. I assume there's like 5 things that came from the source material. It was stupid as hell, but I can't think of a movie that shows a magic sword off in as cool a way. Like every other magic sword is just a boring +1 with some dumb special effects.

# ? Feb 12, 2019 05:02

unimportantguy: Dec 25, 2012; Hey, Johnny, what's a "shitpost"?

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Please tell me that's your second name.

Okay I'll dive in. My first name is Lancelot. I've never gone by Lance or my middle name or anything else. My teen years were uh. Interesting.

# ? Feb 12, 2019 21:20

Nerses IV: May 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

unimportantguy posted:

Okay I'll dive in. My first name is Lancelot. I've never gone by Lance or my middle name or anything else. My teen years were uh. Interesting.

Badass

# ? Feb 12, 2019 21:26

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

unimportantguy posted:

Okay I'll dive in. My first name is Lancelot. I've never gone by Lance or my middle name or anything else. My teen years were uh. Interesting.

Username does not check out at all.

# ? Feb 12, 2019 21:43

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

unimportantguy posted:

Okay I'll dive in. My first name is Lancelot. I've never gone by Lance or my middle name or anything else. My teen years were uh. Interesting.

poo poo, I'm kinda envious. On one hand, you must have the most unbreakable back, getting bullied to hell and back.

But on the other hand, your name IS LANCELOT

# ? Feb 12, 2019 21:49

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

unimportantguy posted:

Okay I'll dive in. My first name is Lancelot. I've never gone by Lance or my middle name or anything else. My teen years were uh. Interesting.

Do you keep blundering into excellence in spite of your limited cognitive ability?

# ? Feb 12, 2019 22:11

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

Kay or Perceval are probably the safe bets as far as naming a kid after a knight of the round table goes

personally I wish my name was Dagonet

E; this just reminded me that the extremely excellent and underrated ps vita game soul sacrifice used Arthurian myths as a basis for its gloriously byzantine setting and art design. They changed everyone�s name to generic fantasy names for the western release for some reason tho.

Lancelot