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bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
Malc’s son asking questions

https://twitter.com/alexbhturnbull/status/1096233422521954304?s=21

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froglet
Nov 12, 2009

You see, the best way to Stop the Boats is a massive swarm of autonomous armed dogs. Strafing a few boats will stop the rest and save many lives in the long term.

You can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs. Vote Greens.

I sent my husband that first one and we've spent the past 5 minutes dying of laughter. It's both hilarious and vile.

(I sent him the Paul Keating one yesterday and he asked me who the person in the picture was :colbert:).

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

bowmore posted:

because the quality of Australian journalism is poop

This should be the front page and lead story of every loving news organisation in the country.

But it won't be.


Literal Rhodesian war criminal.

Eediot Jedi
Dec 25, 2007

This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

Hmm I wonder who was telling dutton about the plight of the South African farmers. :thunk:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Okay, I think I've put all the horror poo poo together so I can try and wrap my brain around it. I also posted it in CSPAM, because this is the sort of horror/shame we need to be showing the world.



-----------------------------------



So this poo poo just dropped in the AusPol thread and I've cropped it together from a dozen posts and multiple news articles. It's too loving insane not to share and I'm still trying to get my head around the implications.


You may know that, for quite a few years now, Australia's been leading the way in torturing refugees by sticking them in offshore detention facilities so horrible that even the children have suicidal ideation and anyone who works there and speaks out about the human rights abuses going on there can be jailed for up to two years.


We've been having a big parliamentary debate on whether to allow sick and injured people in the camps access to proper medical facilities on the mainland. Despite the best efforts of the government, the bill to allow people to not die while in our care passed. Yay.

And thanks to all the poo poo which got stirred to the surface, journalists for the Australian Financial Review discovered "irregularities" in the initial tender process of who would get the $425million ($20million per month) to torture immigrants. It wasn't easy, because the government did their best to make the whole process exempt from Freedom of Information requests.

Paladin Industries won the tender to run the camps in a closed bidding process in which no other companies were allowed to enter. Also, they didn't actually have the money to make an official tender, so the Australian government gave them $400,000 to bid - again, without competition - for the $425million contract.

This is their headquarters:




A beach shack on Kangaroo Island which doesn't even have a phone line.

Or! There's their Papua New Guinea office:




Yes, totally the business headquarters of a corporation (dedicated to the destruction of the secular world) that you wouldn't think twice about giving almost half a billion dollars to.

The company has a third office, in the seat of Dixon in Queensland. Which, by an incredible coincidence is also the seat which Minister of Immigration Peter Dutton represents :thunk:



Paladin also has a special person in charge of education at the camps:




Hmm, something seems familiar about that name. Can't quite put my finger on it.



Put together from main articles in the Financial Review:

Manus contractor Paladin gives up its beach shack HQ, but can't get the phone on

Cashing in on refugees, duo make $20 million a month at Manus Island

Home Affairs sought to delete FOI clause from Manus contract




Twitter sources:

https://twitter.com/NorthCoastBlue/status/1095866440022806529?s=19

https://twitter.com/mat_c_obrien/status/1095790552887418880

"The same Paladin until recently run by one Ian Duncan Stewart, theorised to be the same Ian Duncan Stewart, QLD Commissioner of Police."



And big credit to the goons who first started bringing it all together in the AusPol thread:

NTRabbit, drunkill, Don Dongington and adamantium|wang who did the most heavy lifting.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Feb 17, 2019

NTRabbit
Aug 15, 2012

i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches




Megillah Gorilla posted:

I worked from two main articles in the Financial Review:

Manus contractor Paladin gives up its beach shack HQ, but can't get the phone on

Cashing in on refugees, duo make $20 million a month at Manus Island


Who made the first post on this? I went back a dozen pages and think I got most of it, but I'm not sure how far back it goes and would like to give proper credit to the people who first posted about this.

Don't forget the part about how he named it after the Paladin Group, SS-Obersturmbannführer Otto Skorzeny's post-war far right wing mercenary organisation set up to give former nazi soldiers a job kicking socialist heads around the globe for a pay cheque.

adamantium|wang
Sep 14, 2003

Missing you

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Who made the first post on this? I went back a dozen pages and think I got most of it, but I'm not sure how far back it goes and would like to give proper credit to the people who first posted about this.

I think it was me, last page and page 213. As NTRabbit says, don't forget this:
https://twitter.com/DrJoshuaRoose/status/1096306167922405376?s=19

Zenithe
Feb 25, 2013

Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.

Starshark
Dec 22, 2005
Doctor Rope
Doesn't 'die spinne' mean 'the spider'? These nazis come up with the ickiest names.

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.
So we're basically dealing with literal Nazi big boss on this one.
That's comforting.

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009

That plus the Jon Faine monologue is just...there isn't a word for the combination of depression and anger.

Graic Gabtar
Dec 19, 2014

squat my posts

“A little research” is now googling “Paladin Group”, visiting a wikipedia page and looking at the first reference.

That’s how you become a doctor ladies and gentlemen.

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Graic Gabtar posted:

“A little research” is now googling “Paladin Group”, visiting a wikipedia page and looking at the first reference.

That’s how you become a doctor ladies and gentlemen.

He said little

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
is there anything linking this crazy Rhodesian guy to the thrupp person the afr is reporting on?

Aesculus
Mar 22, 2013

Imagine believing an ex-Buckingham and now Faermann staffer named Jack Off

I met him several times and he routinely never turned up to meetings or to campaign except for important meetings, which he shows up with 3 other right faction cronies nobody had ever seen before to try and branch stack our SDC delegation.

gently caress Jack Off.

adamantium|wang
Sep 14, 2003

Missing you

JBP posted:

So we're basically dealing with literal Nazi big boss on this one.
That's comforting.

"You see, these Next Generation Special Forces have been strengthened through gene therapy. They're demanding the body of Peter Dutton."

Recoome
Nov 9, 2013

Matter of fact, I'm salty now.

adamantium|wang posted:

I think it was me, last page and page 213. As NTRabbit says, don't forget this:
https://twitter.com/DrJoshuaRoose/status/1096306167922405376?s=19

wow so we got the guy who was under the famous loving commando nazi

jesus loving christ

Recoome
Nov 9, 2013

Matter of fact, I'm salty now.

Graic Gabtar posted:

“A little research” is now googling “Paladin Group”, visiting a wikipedia page and looking at the first reference.

That’s how you become a doctor ladies and gentlemen.

shut the gently caress up ratbag craig

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Recoome posted:

wow so we got the guy who was under the famous loving commando nazi

jesus loving christ

Was he though? This seems like trivia about the name paladin group. Paladin isn't exactly a unique name.

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.
Joe Hildebrand is five days late with his Shorten has owned himself by governing hot take.

Endman
May 18, 2010

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die


If I never get to hear or read the name Joe Hildebrand again it'll still be too soon.

ili
Jul 26, 2003



Fifty shades of blue.

ili fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Feb 16, 2019

snoremac
Jul 27, 2012

I LOVE SEEING DEAD BABIES ON 𝕏, THE EVERYTHING APP. IT'S WORTH IT FOR THE FOLLOWING TAB.
E: I’m dumb

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

JBP posted:

Was he though? This seems like trivia about the name paladin group. Paladin isn't exactly a unique name.

Gotta go with this. Paladin is a pretty popular be for things because of the imagery it evokes.

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
Also during my Anzac Day planning committee meeting we had a letter from major connected to one of the battalions of the royal Gurkha rifle regiment from the UK asking if they can participate in our local Anzac Day event (and also if we can recommend them a place to go diving)

Cool as gently caress

Zenithe
Feb 25, 2013

Ask not to whom the Anidavatar belongs; it belongs to thee.
Dong Howard.

e. wait, Dom Howard

clusterfuck
Feb 6, 2004


NTRabbit posted:

Possibly the tree tories should stop pretending that overturning the corrupt crony capitalist system would not be the fastest way to stop the impending environment catastrophe

lol.

The NSW Greens couldn't overturn a rubbish bin.

Neither you nor Lee Rhiannon have a clue how to achieve transformative change of capitalism. It's a narcissist wank.

Meanwhile:

quote:

If ever there was a moment for a minor party with an environmental focus to take its place on the political centre stage, you would expect this state election to be it. Instead the NSW Greens are racked by a civil war that has been fought in fits and starts for years and now threatens to tear it apart.

The Greens have always relied on personalities like Bob Brown or John Kaye to bring people together around an environmental banner. Sadly, John Kaye's loss spelt the end of the NSW Greens. Lee Rhiannon took the opportunity to make sure of it.

Have a look at those comments beneath the article, it's full of people who want to vote for the Greens but won't, because they won't vote for Rhiannon's agenda. Because it's widely viewed as fake anglo-student-union 1970s communism. As representing a philosophy that's been tried and failed.

But sure, you go right ahead and double down on that factionalism.

tithin
Nov 14, 2003


[Grandmaster Tactician]







Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

"Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."
Mehreen Faruqi (Rhiannon's replacement) is pretty awesome.

Negative Entropy
Nov 30, 2009

Anidav posted:

Nine and Newscorp want ScoMo to win because a shambles of a government will sell a fuckton of papers.

I didnt think papers were selling, i'd heard they were just giving them away now.

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again

Kommando posted:

I didnt think papers were selling, i'd heard they were just giving them away now.

You know what I saw at the Hong Kong airport?

The Australian.

It's dumb rear end businesses buying up this poo poo and corporations are not people my friends.

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Anidav posted:

You know what I saw at the Hong Kong airport?

The Australian.

It's dumb rear end businesses buying up this poo poo and corporations are not people my friends.

Same as sky news in every lunch room.

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

Doesn't the government pretty much pay the cost of The Australian through the number of ads they put in it?

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Managers of slave shoe boxes are always going to shove a newspaper subscription into your break room because managing people disconnects you from reality and as the master you believe you control our own entertainment and amusement during breaks but no you silly assshat. We have smartphones and poo poo stop buying the Herald Sun.

smacfm
May 7, 2018
https://twitter.com/GrogsGamut/status/1096555539197091840?s=19

Looks like crazy Rhodesian war criminal is actually not the Paladin that has the half billion torture cheque.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Wtf They want scumo to win because they're corporations controlled by capital and he's gonna give them tax cuts and public property. Moving papers has always been only a means to an end

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



smacfm posted:

https://twitter.com/GrogsGamut/status/1096555539197091840?s=19

Looks like crazy Rhodesian war criminal is actually not the Paladin that has the half billion torture cheque.

Banished back to the Wilbur smith novel he walked out of

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

JBP posted:

Same as sky news in every lunch room.

I don't know about you guys outside Queensland but I now get sky news segments on my free to air WIN TV

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

smacfm posted:

https://twitter.com/GrogsGamut/status/1096555539197091840?s=19

Looks like crazy Rhodesian war criminal is actually not the Paladin that has the half billion torture cheque.

Torturing people on Manus Island that's a Paladin.

insanely lucrative government contracts while having a lovely beach shack on kangaroo Island that's a Paladin

Crazy Rhodesian war criminals you better believe that's the wrongPaladin

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fiery_valkyrie
Mar 26, 2003

I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.

Gridlocked posted:

Torturing people on Manus Island that's a Paladin.

insanely lucrative government contracts while having a lovely beach shack on kangaroo Island that's a Paladin

Crazy Rhodesian war criminals you better believe that's the wrongPaladin

Holy poo poo that’s amazing.

:golfclap:

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