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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Terrible Awful Games: it's either bees and porn or crypto and NFTs

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Aliens from... URANUS!

# ? Feb 28, 2019 08:51

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:30

kirbysuperstar: Nov 11, 2012; Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess.

FirstAidKite posted:

Dammit I did that thing again where I confused it with Vinyl Goddess From Mars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krvqsmPwwr0

Hahah, that'd do it

# ? Feb 28, 2019 09:12

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Aliens from... URANUS!

Also known as Stephen King's Dreamcatcher.

# ? Feb 28, 2019 10:04

Dark_Swordmaster: Oct 31, 2011

The MSJ posted:

Also known as Stephen King's Dreamcatcher.

Spoilers about my anus.

# ? Feb 28, 2019 19:48

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

Dark_Swordmaster posted:

You failed to mention that this is in some way broken and will literally make you go deaf.

I was running this on a Mac. No audio.

# ? Feb 28, 2019 19:58

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

...oh my God, you used to work for loving Infocom!?

e: very curious how one led to the other.

I worked for Activision. '88 - '94

LGOP2 was built when we were downsized after the Baer Patent case judgment. Very small team. The art was scanned inked drawings. The critics said it was too easy.

So when we did "The Return To Zork" we decided to make the game totally unfair and extremely difficult. Also by then, we had the budget to do a big production and I had the video playback and better animation stuff working.

# ? Feb 28, 2019 20:01

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

VideoGameVet posted:

So when we did "The Return To Zork" we decided to make the game totally unfair and extremely difficult. Also by then, we had the budget to do a big production and I had the video playback and better animation stuff working.

Want some rye?

# ? Feb 28, 2019 20:55

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

VideoGameVet posted:

I worked for Activision. '88 - '94

LGOP2 was built when we were downsized after the Baer Patent case judgment. Very small team. The art was scanned inked drawings. The critics said it was too easy.

So when we did "The Return To Zork" we decided to make the game totally unfair and extremely difficult. Also by then, we had the budget to do a big production and I had the video playback and better animation stuff working.

Oh, so it's you I should have been cursing with every breath as a kid

# ? Feb 28, 2019 21:33

Workaday Wizard: Oct 23, 2009; by Pragmatica

OutOfPrint posted:

...
EDIT 2: Holy poo poo I'm finding winners tonight. Here's an acid trip turned 90's alt comic book that looks like it'd be a lot of fun to watch someone else play: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1014570/AlienAfterlife/

i love experimental poo poo like this.

# ? Feb 28, 2019 22:11

underthecube: Dec 5, 2018

i read a naked butler lp on tumblr once and it was the funniest video game ive ever seen. its like if a serbian film was directed by lolrandom high school girls

# ? Feb 28, 2019 22:48

skeleton warrior: Nov 12, 2016

SelenicMartian posted:

Want some rye?

�Course ya do!

# ? Mar 1, 2019 00:16

FirstAidKite: Nov 8, 2009

underthecube posted:

i read a naked butler lp on tumblr once and it was the funniest video game ive ever seen. its like if a serbian film was directed by lolrandom high school girls

I'm legit having trouble picturing how something called naked butler could ever be on the level of a serbian film.

Then again, one of the tags for naked butler is "anal grapeshot" which most definitely sounds like something you'd find in a serbian film.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 00:24

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

Oh, so it's you I should have been cursing with every breath as a kid

I think I'm the jerk who came up with the Bonding Plant puzzle.

I know I came up with the slide puzzle, bog swamp puzzle, bra box etc. etc.

Mainly I did the UI, Game Engine, Video and Audio codecs etc.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 00:35

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

SelenicMartian posted:

Want some rye?

Eddie Dombrower gets the credit for that.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 00:36

underthecube: Dec 5, 2018

FirstAidKite posted:

I'm legit having trouble picturing how something called naked butler could ever be on the level of a serbian film.

Then again, one of the tags for naked butler is "anal grapeshot" which most definitely sounds like something you'd find in a serbian film.

well right off the bat the description isnt exaggerating about the rape. including the dog rape. and making a salad by shoving massive vegetables up someone's rear end. and the withholding medical attention to get off on watching someone die. and one of the death routes being from ejaculating too much.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 02:36

Nipponophile: Apr 8, 2009

VideoGameVet posted:

So when we did "The Return To Zork" we decided to make the game totally unfair and extremely difficult.

I guess you hadn't played enough previous Infocom games to know this was exactly what the audience had been conditioned to expect?

# ? Mar 1, 2019 03:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It probably doesn't help I'm hearing 'Naked Butler' as a jaunty title theme tune like Lil' Butler from Steven Universe.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 03:24

FirstAidKite: Nov 8, 2009

Naked Butler: From the Files of Released Wad

# ? Mar 1, 2019 03:36

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

Nipponophile posted:

I guess you hadn't played enough previous Infocom games to know this was exactly what the audience had been conditioned to expect?

We really weren't aiming for them, seriously. Anyway, it was one of the two main titles that pulled Activision out of Chap. 11. The other being Mechwarrior II which took FIVE years and three teams to come out.

It inspired the "Why Johnny Can't Ship" piece.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 07:50

Amechwarrior: Jan 29, 2007

VideoGameVet posted:

We really weren't aiming for them, seriously. Anyway, it was one of the two main titles that pulled Activision out of Chap. 11. The other being Mechwarrior II which took FIVE years and three teams to come out.

It inspired the "Why Johnny Can't Ship" piece.

Got any good MWII stories? That's the game that hooked me in the lore. I still have some of my windows sound events set to some old samples from that game.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 08:25

Jamfrost: Jul 20, 2013; I'm too busy thinkin' about my baby. Oh I ain't got time for nothin' else.; Slime TrainerS

I didn't wait for reviews, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess this one won't turn out well.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/987620/Ski_Drive_Biathlon/

# ? Mar 1, 2019 10:24

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

FirstAidKite posted:

Naked Butler: From the Files of Released Wad

:cumpolice:

# ? Mar 1, 2019 12:43

Burning Rain: Jul 17, 2006; What's happening?!?!

Jamfrost posted:

I didn't wait for reviews, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess this one won't turn out well.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/987620/Ski_Drive_Biathlon/

This lead me to https://store.steampowered.com/app/966600/Erotic_Winter_Sports/ which apparently is a match-3 game with the actual winter sports bits "to be added later"

# ? Mar 1, 2019 12:57

Workaday Wizard: Oct 23, 2009; by Pragmatica

Burning Rain posted:

This lead me to https://store.steampowered.com/app/966600/Erotic_Winter_Sports/ which apparently is a match-3 game with the actual winter sports bits "to be added later"

I noticed the people reviewing the game all had at least 1400+ games each :wth:

:wth:

Do they just buy everything that shows up in their feeds or something?

# ? Mar 1, 2019 13:55

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

I noticed the people reviewing the game all had at least 1400+ games each

Do they just buy everything that shows up in their feeds or something?

Nobody ever buys just one hentai game.

# ? Mar 1, 2019 16:13

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

I noticed the people reviewing the game all had at least 1400+ games each

Do they just buy everything that shows up in their feeds or something?

I'd hazard most of them are probably those .99 cent asset flips/achievement boosting "games" made by algorithm/Russian sweat shops.

# ? Mar 2, 2019 05:37

Flannelette: Jan 17, 2010

:nws:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/989990/Captain_fly_and_sexy_naked_girls_at_University/

Interesting trailer.

And for some more :nexus:

:nexus:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/577080/A_Dump_in_the_Dark/

Flannelette fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Mar 3, 2019

# ? Mar 3, 2019 00:42

kirbysuperstar: Nov 11, 2012; Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess.

Flannelette posted:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/989990/Captain_fly_and_sexy_naked_girls_at_University/

Oh no, somebody did exactly what you should not do for a Mister Mosquito sequel!

# ? Mar 3, 2019 01:16

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Steam front page material, 90% off
https://store.steampowered.com/app/977200/Bible_Test/

Bible :airquote:

:airquote:

Test

:airquote:

Also check out the developer's profile.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 06:41

A good poster: Jan 10, 2010

SelenicMartian posted:

Steam front page material, 90% off
https://store.steampowered.com/app/977200/Bible_Test/

Bible Test
Also check out the developer's profile.

The correct answer doesn't even fit in the spaces provided.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 07:53

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

SelenicMartian posted:

Steam front page material, 90% off
https://store.steampowered.com/app/977200/Bible_Test/

Bible Test
Also check out the developer's profile.

Here's a screenshot for those unable to access the link.

https://i.imgur.com/nubMJYV.png

# ? Mar 3, 2019 16:23

Deadguy2322: Dec 16, 2017; Greatness Awaits

Don�t ask me why, but I decided to give Arcania: The Complete Story another go on PS4. I got it in a humble bundle, and got a killer migraine in seconds when I tired it on my original PS4. Man, that game is so clunky and amateurish that it almost becomes entertaining, but I have so many better things to be playing.

Anyone else tried it or know why it�s seemingly missing chunks here and there? I loved finishing the quest for the witch, and not even having any closing dialog or cutscene, just suddenly being in a place I�ve never seen before and talking to someone else entirely!

# ? Mar 3, 2019 19:50

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Oh, that is because it's not finished. Gothic 3 wasn't finished either, so Jowood got some random third party to make an expansion, then did that again. So it's a sequel with a tiny budget and harsh deadline, made by people who don't give a poo poo, and iirc the expansion to Arcania is yet another company though I could be wrong

# ? Mar 3, 2019 20:51

Ikari Worrier: Jul 23, 2004; Dinosaur Gum

Got a coupon for this game a second ago. One of this guy's other games got featured long, long ago in the thread but it's still worth a mention because weird lovely-looking poser models are never not funny to me.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 23:07

Deadguy2322: Dec 16, 2017; Greatness Awaits

corn in the bible posted:

Oh, that is because it's not finished. Gothic 3 wasn't finished either, so Jowood got some random third party to make an expansion, then did that again. So it's a sequel with a tiny budget and harsh deadline, made by people who don't give a poo poo, and iirc the expansion to Arcania is yet another company though I could be wrong

Pretty much lines up with what I expected to hear. It honestly ran so badly on a base PS4 that I was shocked it passed cert.

# ? Mar 3, 2019 23:23

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

Amechwarrior posted:

Got any good MWII stories? That's the game that hooked me in the lore. I still have some of my windows sound events set to some old samples from that game.

MW1: Coded by Dynamix. They got acquired by Sierra so the story begins.

Team #1: Vektor Graphics in Leeds England. Had a crazy 3D system that based every model on a cube, where the vertices coords were bit-shifted from the cubes. I fly over there (1990) to find they have purchased TWO BMW 750il's (yes, the V12 ones), That's a lot of cash in the UK considering the VAT tax. Little progress. Axed.

Team #2: Brilliant team struggling to do this in a 16bit model (640k address space, 8086 code). It becomes apparent that this isn't going to work. I believe that they got axed around 1993.

Team #3: Use 386 code with the popular DOS extender (same one used on the FM Towns).

Game ships in 1994. Five-year development project.

Note, the original opening cinematic uses the video stuff I designed for RTZ.

I left Activision in the summer of 1994 in a quixotic attempt to improve education at a software startup in San Diego. IPO in Feb. 2000, Market crash a month later.

I did a stupid thing.

# ? Mar 4, 2019 07:13

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

Ever considered getting back in? By all accounts a lot of the industry is in desperate need of people with any scrap of actual management and project management capability in an executive role.

# ? Mar 4, 2019 18:18

Too Shy Guy: Jun 14, 2003; I have destroyed more of your kind than I can count.

Someone decided to put Steam's hands-off curation to the test: RAPE DAY

Let me save you a click:

quote:

Control the choices of a menacing serial killer rapist during a zombie apocalypse. Verbally harass, kill, and rape women as you choose to progress the story.

It's a dangerous world with no laws. The zombies enjoy eating the flesh off warm humans and brutally raping them but you are the most dangerous rapist in town.

Rape Day is a choose your own adventure visual novel. It does not include grinding or any other time wasting activities. So skip the foreplay and enjoy your Rape Day; you deserve it.

# ? Mar 4, 2019 22:10

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Too Shy Guy posted:

Someone decided to put Steam's hands-off curation to the test: RAPE DAY

Let me save you a click:

I clicked anyway and, well, I think this is the weirdest game update I've ever read

quote:

Recent Updates
FEB 23 @ 6:33PM - DESK LAMP
Baby Killing Scene (SPOILERS)

A steam user posted a pretty good you-tube video about this game to the discussion forums here. He makes some good points. Among other things the you-tuber expressed concern about the baby killing scene, as possible being classified as "child exploitation".

Since no one has played the game yet, I thought I'd give a little description of the scene and my thought process here, for that specific scene. The scene is relatively minor to the story and optional depending on your choices.

Originally I had the zombie character holding a baby, because I thought it would be interesting, and I�ve seen this in other zombie stories. However, this presented a bit of a problem, because it is illegal to render a underage character in the presence of anything with sex or that is sexual. For this reason, the baby had to be removed before anything sexual could happen.

Realistically, it's not exactly just going to crawl away... so in the first draft of the story I was going to have the main character punt it out of the scene, but I�m not really sure how far you can kick a baby, so I settled on him running really far away and then drowning it and then coming back. To be extra safe I have him mash it up into pulp so it�s not really even a baby anymore. This however is not shown only described. I don�t particularly like blood, gore, bruising, scratches, etc. so none of this is shown in the game.

But anyways, I now realize my game highly offends some people so if it doesn't get approved for that reason I'll make it available from my website, and then still kick off the normal marketing plan that I had for the game, which I haven't started yet.

UPDATE 2/27/2019:

After consulting with the forums... some forums... somewhere... I've decided it's necessary to remove this scene.

While it doesn't actually qualify as "child exploitation", the vagueness in this term is enough for a banning campaign to be waged against my game for just this scene alone.

I do apologize to any one who wanted to see this scene. I'll do my best not to water this game down too much, and not make it like every other boring dreary monotonous slow moving visual novel.

:stare:

# ? Mar 4, 2019 22:22

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:30

Tamba: Apr 5, 2010

Terrible Awful Games: I�m not sure how far you can kick a baby, so I settled on drowning it

# ? Mar 4, 2019 22:59

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