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Azza Bamboo posted:Take me to your wiener
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# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:46 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:27 |
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I binged this thread a while ago and the alien encounter confessions (or other paranormal ones) are some of my favorites. There was a great one where the confessor said their father was in the military and had once been taken on a tour of some super-secret underground base where he saw a squid-bear monster with human hands. I also really enjoy the time-travel/prophecy/secret-info ones, where the confessor swears that the apocalypse will totally happen next week. Always fun to read those in retrospect.
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# ? Mar 8, 2019 21:02 |
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Azza Bamboo posted:Then he put his thingie in my you-know-what and we did it for the FIRST TIME
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# ? Mar 8, 2019 21:59 |
I think the implication is the aliens altered his DNA (he wasn't the first) and then gave him super cum abilities to make sure he spread the new seed.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 00:23 |
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nah i think it's like when humans find a bird with a deformed beak and capture it and give it a new 3d-printed titanium one and send it back into the wild. the aliens were just hanging around in his back yard having a jello hypercube picnic or whatever and they saw him honking off and were like "awww that human's penis is broken! let's fix him with our superior genetic engineering so he can live a full life"
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 00:38 |
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SerialKilldeer posted:I binged this thread a while ago and the alien encounter confessions (or other paranormal ones) are some of my favorites. There was a great one where the confessor said their father was in the military and had once been taken on a tour of some super-secret underground base where he saw a squid-bear monster with human hands.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 00:59 |
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ugh mk’glorbnok its their custom to knock we’ve been over this it would be rude to just....barge in! Weren’t you paying attention in the Earth sensitivity training seminar?
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 07:38 |
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quote:Recently, over the last few weeks, I've had a thing for a work colleague that has ended with me feeling like a witless idiot who can't take a obvious hint. I mean, regardless of whether you missed a hint or something, it's kind of on her to get the friendship going again if she wants to, and if not, that's that I guess what I'm saying is yes give her some space, because she definitely wants it, but don't spend too much time being bitter or beating yourself up over it or anything quote:Hi goons Yes, if you want to see someone and they also want to see you that is a good sign, you goober Say yes, go meet her for coffee, but please don't have this built up in your head as a Big Important Thing, you're just reconnecting with someone from your youth over coffee. Something may or may not grow out of that, but you have no way of knowing until you see how it goes. And even if she does ghost you, it's not like you've spent terribly much time and effort on her, it's no big loss Anyone who backs out of plans for no reason with no notice isn't worth your time anyway.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 14:53 |
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Nice thing about meeting someone for coffee is you still get a yummy coffee even if they don't show, so it's impossible not to come out ahead.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 17:38 |
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Take time to feel what you're feeling. A good taste of coffee. Fondness of good company. Even if you're nervous, feel nervous. If you want something from someone, a relationship or for them to think well of you, the harder you run for a specific future the more good stuff you'll blow by and the more likely you are to trip. If you focus on where you're at in the moment rather than whether you're going to mess up some hypothetical future you can enjoy yourself now even if it all goes wrong ten minutes later. Azza Bamboo fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Mar 9, 2019 |
# ? Mar 9, 2019 17:54 |
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Imagine your whole house shaking every time you jerk off. At least that's how I read alien goon at first.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 18:08 |
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Sleepytime posted:Imagine your whole house shaking every time you jerk off. At least that's how I read alien goon at first. yours doesnt?
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 18:33 |
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She will probably try to get you to join her MLM scheme. :/
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 18:38 |
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RFC2324 posted:yours doesnt? I must be doing it wrong.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 20:34 |
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She met someone at the wedding.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 23:04 |
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second goon, don't be that guy. The way you wrote it, it's pretty clear by "used to have a crush on her" means "still has a crush on her". It's coffee, be normal, it's not a proposal or a sign that she is in love with you. Sometimes people just want to catch up. Maybe she actually is interested in you, but don't go in to it assuming she does because she agreed to the most non-date-ish type of "date" in history. e: also yeah there's a very non-zero chance you'll get bombarded with a herbalife or something similar pitch.
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# ? Mar 9, 2019 23:14 |
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therattle posted:She met someone at the wedding. Could be this. Could be any number of things though. Maybe she doesn't want to date a coworker? Or feels like things are moving a little fast? Or reconnected with an old flame? Her cancelling the party makes me think that there's just something going on in her personal life, maybe she's dealing with something right now. But regardless it doesn't really matter what the reason is. I would just give her space, don't make it weird.
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# ? Mar 10, 2019 17:44 |
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quote:It's me. I'm the lead researcher that abducted the anonymous (not anonymous to me) confessor who posted a report earlier in this log.
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# ? Mar 10, 2019 17:47 |
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Post a confession about that red title yikes!
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# ? Mar 10, 2019 18:42 |
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Lol of course this is gonna require an explanation in every thread I post in, that's honestly the most annoying part Here I already wrote it up in Bernthread: loquacius posted:Drama in the politoon thread e: I had this old av saved on my computer, it's makin a comeback loquacius fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Mar 10, 2019 |
# ? Mar 10, 2019 19:19 |
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loquacius posted:Lol of course this is gonna require an explanation in every thread I post in, that's honestly the most annoying part A Jewish Nazi? Are you Loomer or Shapiro?
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# ? Mar 10, 2019 20:32 |
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loquacius posted:Lol of course this is gonna require an explanation in every thread I post in, that's honestly the most annoying part I mean say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
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# ? Mar 10, 2019 20:44 |
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loquacius posted:Lol of course this is gonna require an explanation in every thread I post in, that's honestly the most annoying part Its like you just have to realize that all those people are helping support lowtax and his robo-spine. NO I DON'T SUPPORT OR ENDORSE PEOPLE GETTING SWASTIKA AVATARS
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 11:58 |
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SKIPPING: a poo poo fetish post, no offense if you're real but I'd rather not
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 13:10 |
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Sounds like wine girl either A. found another interesting dude so thinks its inappropriate to talk to that dude B. Got tired of putting out signals and getting nowhere C. Changed her mind about a co worker relationship Either way, you snooze, you lose. If she wants to continue later it's up to her, but otherwise, leave her alone.
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 15:36 |
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Also sorry to be this guy but sometimes people just act irrationally and like having attention and the second they realize they have you hooked they stop caring because it wasn’t about you it was about having your attention. Now that they have it, they don’t need it anymore. It’s something empty people do to feel something.
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 15:49 |
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Bust Rodd posted:Also sorry to be this guy but sometimes people just act irrationally and like having attention and the second they realize they have you hooked they stop caring because it wasn’t about you it was about having your attention. Now that they have it, they don’t need it anymore. It’s something empty people do to feel something. Can confirm
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 16:02 |
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Bust Rodd posted:Also sorry to be this guy but sometimes people just act irrationally and like having attention and the second they realize they have you hooked they stop caring because it wasn’t about you it was about having your attention. Now that they have it, they don’t need it anymore. It’s something empty people do to feel something. Goddamn, I just got some bad flashbacks
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 16:41 |
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Bust Rodd posted:Also sorry to be this guy but sometimes people just act irrationally and like having attention and the second they realize they have you hooked they stop caring because it wasn’t about you it was about having your attention. Now that they have it, they don’t need it anymore. It’s something empty people do to feel something. Already stopped listening
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 16:48 |
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Bust Rodd posted:Also sorry to be this guy but sometimes people just act irrationally and like having attention and the second they realize they have you hooked they stop caring because it wasn’t about you it was about having your attention. Now that they have it, they don’t need it anymore. It’s something empty people do to feel something. That's where my mind went with that too. The pursuit was done so on to other things.
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 16:53 |
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My first thought was she turned all cold after say something she regretted (maybe got too flirty?) while drunk.
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 17:53 |
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Yeah, maybe she just wanted a friend? Who knows, it is a Matsui
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 21:16 |
Or she thought about it again (or talked to friends) and realized it's really risky to date at work I've passed up a few of those and in hindsight it was the right call in my case - we worked too closely When those things gently caress up they gently caress up 2/3 of your life (the other being family)
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# ? Mar 11, 2019 21:19 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:That's where my mind went with that too. The pursuit was done so on to other things. As Motorhead teaches us, "you know the chase is better than the catch".
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# ? Mar 12, 2019 15:43 |
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Ignore Lemmy-wisdom at your peril.
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 15:50 |
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quote:St. Patrick's Day is a huge holiday around these parts, so here's a timely tale of seasons ago for all you good readers. A few years back, after an unfortunate event that left me disabled with a little too much time on my hands, I was studying how to play some traditional Irish folk songs on my guitar so I could do my part. Note to the reader: I am zero percent Irish. As a consequence, I was in the park, singing "Whiskey in the jar" and trying to figure out how to play along with it. This was the traditional version of the song, as performed by the Dubliners, not the Thin Lizzie cover. NGL my first reaction to this was to do a search for one of the lines to see if it was a copy-paste, but a more thorough reading confirms that it's a bespoke creation for the thread
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 15:58 |
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The saga continues. There’s a short story similar to this where a guy is in an accident and has fever-dreams in a hospital but instead of awesome bug adventures it ends with him being offered as a ritual sacrifice.
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 16:16 |
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So glad PHIZ KALIFA and his family are doing well
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 16:27 |
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loquacius posted:NGL my first reaction to this was to do a search for one of the lines to see if it was a copy-paste, but a more thorough reading confirms that it's a bespoke creation for the thread
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 16:30 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:27 |
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Sleepytime posted:The saga continues. Also the big warrior confession in this very thread
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# ? Mar 14, 2019 16:45 |