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Josherino)
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Mackers posted:gently caress, yeah. Meds re the only thing that can make me dream I'm someone else. I had a dream where the world was divided into the 4 elemental powers, except the earth part was annihilated by some new acid faction and the other sides were all alarmed. By virtue of being able to survive in any of the four realms, I was a global ambassador, handling negotiations for situations like a border dispute between the forces of fire and water who obviously can't exist in each other's realms. It felt like it lasted years, waking up was a real mindfuck.
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Mar 13, 2019 02:47
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Equeen posted:it's been an embarrassingly long since i've read a book, but i'll try to go to my local library this weekend. i kinda want to get into sewing/weaving, but i don't trust myself to not treat it as a passing fad. what kind of sewing/weaving? I don't know what experience you have in textile stuff but if you want to try something simple and cheap first look into peg loom knitting. you can pick it up for $20 rather than building your own loom from scratch, which can be super cool but a lot more complex.
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Mar 13, 2019 02:48
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juche avocado posted:bahahahahahahah i finally googled dick and ball torture to see what it actually was hahahahaha yeah I did 12 weeks of dbt and it's basically just constantly feeling like you're being personally called out in the funniest way. it's honestly super cathartic knowing that the weird poo poo you do and feel isn't some problem unique to you.
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Mar 13, 2019 02:51
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redsniper posted:If you're in a hole and need help, don't let fears of possible side effects stop you from trying medication. this is smtg i’m staring down eventually and dreading even tho i know so many more ppl they’ve helped than harmed like i got side effects from fucken melatonin. melatonin!! so i’m trepidatious as hell redsniper posted:This has helped me tremendously. You wouldn't think something so simple would have such an effect, but writing or typing out your thoughts makes them feel more real. It can totally be rough, but having them out of your head somewhere physical makes it easier to review and confront what's really troubling you. writing it was so difficult. kept crying and having to take breaks. at the time i felt it was one of the roughest things i’ve ever done. but when it was done it was pages of bullet points and i thought “jfc how did i survive this long?” like you said tho it made the trauma real bc i’ve had ppl telling me it was all in my head my whole life and when my therapist just listened it was like, oh ok better things are possible. and if i didn’t have the inventory i would have been all over the place.
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Mar 13, 2019 02:54
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Hamelekim posted:vortioxetine is pretty good. it is also shown to improve your cognitive abilities. works differently than other antidepressants. this is one of the few new psychiatric meds that seems really promising and interesting. im forever-banned from antidepressants because of my bipolar but if I had to be on one that'd be the one i would be most interested in. it's got some typical SSRI effects but because it's a 5ht3 antagonist it doesn't make you nauseous or effect your appetite to much. It acts on SERT and NET in a manner similar to ritalin and then the 5ht1a agonism makes it have anxiety reducing effects similar to Buspar. Very interesting, promising drug. Moist von Lipwig has issued a correction as of 03:02 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 02:59
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@chokes https://twitter.com/BrettSVergara/status/1104873871826608133
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Mar 13, 2019 03:18
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Zyla posted:hey uh who the gently caress keeps scraeming at me to stop taking my meds. show yourself coward
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Mar 13, 2019 03:32
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Moist von Lipwig posted:what kind of sewing/weaving? I don't know what experience you have in textile stuff but if you want to try something simple and cheap first look into peg loom knitting. you can pick it up for $20 rather than building your own loom from scratch, which can be super cool but a lot more complex. Card weaving is cheapest, all you need is a cardboard box, some scissors, and yarn  but yeah peg loom knitting is way more accessible and satisfying
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Mar 13, 2019 03:33
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a good day to ARCTIC DUCK
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Mar 13, 2019 03:39
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Moist von Lipwig posted:im forever-banned from antidepressants because of my bipolar That’s not necessarily true unless your psych told you it was in your case. Plenty of folks on bipolar meds get adjunctive antidepressant therapy, and not all antidepressants are created equal with regards to inducing mania.
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Mar 13, 2019 04:09
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Bass Concert Hall posted:That’s not necessarily true unless your psych told you it was in your case. Plenty of folks on bipolar meds get adjunctive antidepressant therapy, and not all antidepressants are created equal with regards to inducing mania. Well. SSRIs are bad on their own—they will eventually cause hypomania/mania spikes. Combined with a mood stabilizer, though, they're fine. Like I cannot take atypicals at all, I've literally tried all of them. I take lamictal and sertraline and while I still have occasional hypomania spikes it's well regulated enough that it's worth putting up with. Man o man you should see what SNRIs do to me though. Yikes.
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Mar 13, 2019 04:28
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so here's a thing to brighten your day my cat has some sort of skin infection on his front right leg where it's gone bald and red bumpy like. He's fine and it doesn't bother him at all, doc says it's not cancer, she's pretty sure it's ringworm. However, in order to confirm while we're starting his antifungal treatment, she needs to run a culture. Rather than bring him in, she's having us save money by collecting the sample ourselves. So, at 10:15 at night, I was holding a cat up so only its back paws were on the ground and my wife was brushing his bare front leg vigorously with a toothbrush we put the toothbrush in a bag and will take it to the vet tomorrow he was as confused about the whole process as we were
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Mar 13, 2019 04:30
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juche avocado posted:you did a better job of describing it than i did, friend Yeah the dreams were crazy. It was like a false awakening sort of deal but instead of just waking up in my bed over and over again I was convinced I was awake and in reality, but that reality was disintegrating around me, and my thoughts were in the process of falling apart as well. I've had 'bad' trips on psychedelics and it was definitely a comparable experience in terms of intensity and psychological strangeness. When I tried citalopram for anxiety a few years ago it messed with my sleep too. On the day after taking my first dose I just didn't wake up properly, but I couldn't sleep properly either, so I was stuck in a cycle of falling asleep and having vivid (but not terrifying) dreams for 2 hours, and then waking and feeling so lethargic and worn out I could barely move before falling asleep again. This went on for 18 hours. I didn't continue with that either. I think I just have bad reactions to SSRIs maybe. Hopefully I'll eventually be able to find an antidepressant that doesn't react badly with my brain chemistry though
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Mar 13, 2019 06:19
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Zyla posted:hey uh too late ive gone off my prozac like three times in the last six months
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Mar 13, 2019 06:34
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I'm posting this as a way to think out loud and to try and process things. This would go on my livejournal if it we're 2004, but I think the Russian buyers of LJ since deleted it for inactivity. My therapist apologized for letting me down, it's happened a few times, but in general...I don't know how to put it. There've been times when she hasn't followed thru in a timely manner... I know that it's not my fault but I can't accept that emotionally. I know where this is coming from. A very young place emotionally where there was a locus of control shift. It's one of the areas we're working on and I know better. But here I am, crying, face numb, because this must have been my fault! Okay, next course of action. It's understandable that mistakes happened. There's a lot of anger that wants to get out now, that's...we'll call it an overcorrection. It's generally safe and okay to depend on others. There's a caveat about using our best judgement but we aren't even there yet. Other stuff came up. I think I pushed things to hard. Main takeaways are that it's okay to trust and that things aren't entirely my fault.
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Mar 13, 2019 06:52
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lmao im held together by string and cardboard right now very fragile!
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Mar 13, 2019 07:32
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Zyla posted:lmao im held together by string and cardboard right now Yeah. Wish the loving summer would start already. This constant grey is just the worst.
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Mar 13, 2019 10:58
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who keeps downvoting the thread. reveal yourselves
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Mar 13, 2019 15:24
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Mackers posted:Yeah. Wish the loving summer would start already. This constant grey is just the worst. happy light imo it won’t fix everything but it’ll help you keep it together until the sun comes back
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Mar 13, 2019 15:33
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my former grad school friends who i haven't seen in months are getting together for a happy hour and they invited me but I really feel like I can't face going out to see them. they were all in my cohort but now they have jobs and literally all of them have bought nice houses in the last year, gotten their careers started (one got two jobs I applied for, first a starter position then a full time one), are getting married, etc and things are going great for them, while I haven't found a job at all and I live at home with my parents. they're all nice and its just a social thing but even going out and being friendly with people I like in a context that involves talking about things like professional accomplishments makes me want to disappear
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Mar 13, 2019 19:57
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i am not an optimist by any stretch, but i got some serendipitous help professionally by reaching out to a buddy this fall to see if he knew of any job prospects in his part of the country in a field he knows nothing about. he knew a guy who was looking and i had a job offer a few weeks later. it might be a downer to hang around with successful pals, but maybe they can point you in the right direction? good luck either way, friend
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Mar 13, 2019 20:04
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yeah, I know it's for the best to maintain professional networks, and I nominally like these people when I can stop being a bitter misanthrope for a second and be semi-fair. I guess I'm just going to be a little decadent and load up my g pen and just get mega loving stoned, hang out for forty minutes, and leave when I've done enough socializing to make me feel like I should just go live by the river alone for the rest of my life.
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Mar 13, 2019 21:21
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hello cspam. my parents are divorcing and i'm unemployed and things are really lovely right now. i feel really bad because both my parents kinda need support but i only feel like i can deal with job hunting. my mental health has never been good and i'm at a very low point. woke up this morning feeling absolutely terrible. i went for a run, somehow, which was good. i'm going to be okay, i'm a programmer and there's a comfortable job waiting for me at the end of this tunnel. but i feel completely worn down atm. i feel very bad for those who have to deal with this poo poo and don't have a nice job to support them. DONT THREAD ON ME has issued a correction as of 21:33 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 21:31
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Frog Act posted:my former grad school friends who i haven't seen in months are getting together for a happy hour and they invited me but I really feel like I can't face going out to see them. they were all in my cohort but now they have jobs and literally all of them have bought nice houses in the last year, gotten their careers started (one got two jobs I applied for, first a starter position then a full time one), are getting married, etc and things are going great for them, while I haven't found a job at all and I live at home with my parents. they're all nice and its just a social thing but even going out and being friendly with people I like in a context that involves talking about things like professional accomplishments makes me want to disappear Definitely go anyway if you can manage it. I've been there, my friends all doing great in the program I dropped out of, and it was a great time. Who knows, they might even know some job openings where they work!
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Mar 13, 2019 21:37
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Frog Act posted:my former grad school friends who i haven't seen in months are getting together for a happy hour and they invited me but I really feel like I can't face going out to see them. they were all in my cohort but now they have jobs and literally all of them have bought nice houses in the last year, gotten their careers started (one got two jobs I applied for, first a starter position then a full time one), are getting married, etc and things are going great for them, while I haven't found a job at all and I live at home with my parents. they're all nice and its just a social thing but even going out and being friendly with people I like in a context that involves talking about things like professional accomplishments makes me want to disappear everyone i know who isn't a piece of poo poo realizes that they, too, might be living in their parents basement if not for a bit of luck. i don't doubt that their unwanted sympathy will be hard to tolerate, though.
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Mar 13, 2019 21:45
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:everyone i know who isn't a piece of poo poo realizes that they, too, might be living in their parents basement if not for a bit of luck. i don't doubt that their unwanted sympathy will be hard to tolerate, though. it’s ok to let people offer empathy there’s a difference between that and pity they’re not viewing you as lesser unless they’re huge pieces of poo poo and in absence of proof of that...
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Mar 13, 2019 22:54
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Chokes McGee posted:it’s ok to let people offer empathy there’s a difference between that and pity sorry, i just wanted to acknowledge that having to endure a bunch of well intended sympathy isn't necessarily something you need to put yourself through if you don't want.
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Mar 13, 2019 23:10
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DONT THREAD ON ME posted:sorry, i just wanted to acknowledge that having to endure a bunch of well intended sympathy isn't necessarily something you need to put yourself through if you don't want. yeah I can see where it would get cloying if you're in the wrong mood for it but sometimes people really do mean well 
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Mar 14, 2019 01:13
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Was talking with my gf about growing up in an abusive home, and she mentioned my lack of any kind of real support network back then, and now I'm brimming with anger for a bunch of adults I haven't seen or thought about in over a decade. All my teachers and guidance counselors and everyone at my school, the whole time I was growing up, they had to have known what was going on, and nobody ever did poo poo, or even said any words of support to me except one teacher my senior year of high school. Just a kind word would have gone so far. gently caress. I was already planning on retraining and becoming a teacher because of how much I enjoyed it in grad school. I can't fail those kids. Somebody's got to be there for them, it meant so much when that one teacher was there for me. It's like the worries I had about perpetuating abuse if I had kids all over again. Hell of a thought train to start in on when I'm trying to get ready for bed.
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Mar 14, 2019 02:46
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Lying in bed trying to calm down, and my trauma puppy hops up and pins my hand and starts licking the hell out of it to try to make me feel better. Yeah, we've been through some poo poo, haven't we buddy 
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Mar 14, 2019 03:14
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I don't have anything to look forward to.
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Mar 14, 2019 04:20
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same so i make up poo poo to look forward to even if i forget to do those things or procrastinate a lot
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Mar 14, 2019 05:11
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if you respond to this i'd appreciate it if you only quote this line because I may have second thoughts and want to delete this. a clearly psychotic student sorta took my college class hostage last spring and i didn't comply and questioned him so he attacked me and tried to drag me out of the classroom, and when another student intervened he backed off, went over to his desk, and started rummaging in his backpack. everybody thought he was about to pull out a gun and i was sure i'd be the first target and that the guy who helped would be next. the professor has been on a research break from teaching since, and it's likely to go for over a year the police did get involved and arrest him but he got a misdemeanor disturbing the peace since I didn't want to speak against him in court to stick him with a misdemeanor assault as well. he got a diversionary program deal. since he's the son of a former department head he didn't get expelled despite a zero tolerance policy for classroom violence and I see him sometimes i was fine until two days ago and suddenly on the anniversary of this i'm having panic attacks and im an unproductive wreck. is that how trauma works? Sing Along has issued a correction as of 05:27 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 05:20
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Goon Danton posted:Lying in bed trying to calm down, and my trauma puppy hops up and pins my hand and starts licking the hell out of it to try to make me feel better. Yeah, we've been through some poo poo, haven't we buddy Wanting to provide help for others where there was none for you is the highest order of altruism and you should be lauded for even attempting it, let alone succeeding keep it up and you might even end up running a mental health thread in a comedy politics shitpost forum
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Mar 14, 2019 05:20
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Socks4Hands posted:if you respond to this i'd appreciate it if you only quote this line because I may have second thoughts and want to delete this. without revealing more details of the original post just in case, the short answer is yes absolutely it's the same reason people with bad family history get really depressed around the holidays (minus seasonal affective disorder). The brain remembers bad situations and timing and can associate the two very easily without you even knowing that is a hell of a thing to go through and I would recommend finding someone to talk about it if you haven't already
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Mar 14, 2019 05:23
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Chokes McGee posted:without revealing more details of the original post just in case, the short answer is yes absolutely i did have someone i was seeing fairly regularly but it was expensive so i scaled visits back to once every three weeks. i also had an ativan prescription that helped a lot but as time went on i stopped needing it (since it was a take as necessary kind of deal) and now I don't have any and desperately wish I did. I'll probably book an appointment with the psychiatrist who prescribed it soon. Sing Along has issued a correction as of 05:48 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 05:26
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Socks4Hands posted:i did have someone i was seeing fairly regularly but it was expensive so i scaled visits back to once every three weeks. i also had an ativan prescription that helped a lot but as time went on i stopped needing it (since it was a take as necessary kind of deal) and now I don't have any and desperately wish I did. I'll probably book an appointment with the psychiatrist who prescribed it soon. a good rear end idea imo 
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Mar 14, 2019 05:56
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So I’ll share my experience, since I haven’t really seen anyone that quite hits the same points - I haven’t read the entire thread so maybe I missed someone. But hopefully it’ll ring true with anyone. My issue is persistent depression. It’s been around most of my life that I can remember. I was a typical dork/fat kid in school so it was easy to hang my baggage on that for the early years in my life. Upon reflection the best first memory of really feeling what I’ve come to call depression started 21 years ago. So when I say something that’s so melodramatic like that it’s because that was just my default state. Depression sounded super hosed up to me because I was imaging something worse than what I was feeling. The other thing I’ve really come to understand is I don’t get happy. I think I’m just afraid to, but I haven’t gotten that far (in figuring out my issue). Short version of my life is that, aside from the aforementioned dorkiness, I had a life where I was never good enough and was constantly reminded followed up by an “I love you” on top. Eventually I just grew to hate hearing those words because of the association probably. So I was a bitter kid who pushed everything away. Didn’t grow up with much (both my parents were pretty poor, and I’m an only child). But I’ve gotten used to the rejection and constant negativity. The only real positive thing I’ve done for my well being is to find and go to group therapy. next paragraph is suicide talk (nothing graphic or even particularly specific), spoilered if you want to skip it I did that after I realized that I had, for about 3 weeks straight, been thinking religiously about killing myself. Now, to be up front, I’ve thought about it since I was 16. Considered a lot of ways of doing it, too. Mostly my obsession any more was (is, rarely) not the details of dying but the logistics of either how to never be found or the way to have the least amount of time pass before someone actually looked for me. But this stint in particular lasted so long that usually half the work day I’d idly think about ways to kill myself. And often I would stay up for hours in bed because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Oddly I never felt an overwhelming urge to do it. But it got to the point where it actually scared me a little bit. So I found a DBSA group near me and started going. Like in the op, I found it very interesting to say really dark things and see people just nodding their head along. And even though all these people have to suffer through taking medications and dealing with their “real problems” (I tell myself because part of me will always be convinced I’m where I am due to personal failings) they listen and commiserate. I don’t really care about empathy - partly because I just don’t trust it. But it was still therapeutic just to say that poo poo out loud for once. And I also found it therapeutic to be helpful to people. I offered them help on how I’d manage my depression (the healthy ways - and warn of the unhealthy ways I had tried as well) and tried as much as I could to help them with cognitive reframing and understanding that they shouldn’t be ashamed for being here. I know a few people I’ve helped at least. And helping people is one of the few things I can do that I actually get any sort of enjoyment out of. Group gave me a lot of perspective on my life and while I’m still pretty consistently depressed, I’m at least determined to do something with my life. I may die alone, but that also doesn’t bother me. I try to make a difference in the lives of the people I meet. Sometimes it works and sometimes I fail pretty miserably. But it still gives me what little determination I have. And if I made one life better, it was worth it. So even if you don’t want to see a therapist, or want to avoid someone forcing you or advising you to take meds, group therapy can help. A lot. Especially if you don’t have an outlet (SA isn’t the same; being face to face is very different). I consider the progress I’ve made to be nothing less than huge. Ugato has issued a correction as of 07:34 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 07:27
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16 days without booze and holy poo poo was my counselor right about how much that can feed your depression. I got a prescription for those pills that make you throw up if you drink alcohol. I just want them for when I see my family and to take before office parties and other poo poo like that
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Mar 14, 2019 13:59
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I also have issues meeting up with people I knew in high school/college. I dont like who I was back then. Please still meet up with them. In my experience, they are always wear and compassionate and eager to reconnect, and having a positive support network like that is always good to have. When you feel like you've got nothing, just knowing someone out there is rooting for you goes a long way pushpins posted:16 days without booze and holy poo poo was my counselor right about how much that can feed your depression. I got a prescription for those pills that make you throw up if you drink alcohol. I just want them for when I see my family and to take before office parties and other poo poo like that  I up and stopped drinking last December (I'll have a beer once every week or two) and even in my low points I still feel better than I did when i was drinking.
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Mar 14, 2019 14:59
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