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Splicer posted:Contextually that looks like a typo. It says they must both agree, the next sentence only makes sense if there's a missing "not" between will and be That would be two typos in a row, though, first one sentence says both have to agree to skip it, then the next says you will be forced.
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Mar 6, 2019 14:20
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He's saying that ERP will not be skipped unless both parties want to skip it. If even one party wants to play it out it's mandatory to do so. So there's roughly a 30000000000000000% chance the DM is a guy. And a 90% chance he's an incel.
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Mar 6, 2019 15:11
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PurpleXVI posted:I'm not sure if non-personal experiences are acceptable content for this thread, but here's some loving poo poo:  mandatory ERP, good god there is a negative a billion % chance you get any players who know what bathing is
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Mar 6, 2019 15:22
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abounds. Literal non-consensual GM-enforced ERP.
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PurpleXVI posted:That would be two typos in a row, though, first one sentence says both have to agree to skip it, then the next says you will be forced.
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Mar 6, 2019 15:29
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I'm just surprised it's not WoD. Is this supposed to be a MUD?
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Mar 6, 2019 15:29
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Now KISS.
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Mar 6, 2019 15:34
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I read that whole thing in the System Mastery "and then a dog bites your dick" voice.
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Mar 6, 2019 16:54
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ERP?
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Mar 6, 2019 17:24
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Erotic Role Play.
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Mar 6, 2019 17:27
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Ilor posted:Erotic Role Play. I... don't know what I expected. I couldn't think of a word that fit there. Shockingly enough that one did not cross my mind.
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Mar 6, 2019 17:57
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Extra Rare Pretzels
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Mar 6, 2019 18:02
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My happily naïve sensibility thought that the 'E' stood for electronic, as in online or the like. I was more content before I knew otherwise.
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Mar 6, 2019 18:03
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It was common parlance back in the days of MUDs and IRC. Though there are still a few people who love doing the nasty in the Goldshire Inn. We do not like those people.
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Mar 6, 2019 18:08
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How can you be put in a situation where you ERP with another player? and then be forced to follow through? That's as strong a sign to  as you'll ever loving get.
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Mar 6, 2019 20:20
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drat I assume it meant "extended", like whether to roleplay a scene line by line vs brush over it with a roll. I personally can't help but be charitable, like, are you sure it means erotic??? 
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Mar 6, 2019 20:35
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I personally can't help but be charitable, like, are you sure it means erotic??? This might help https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Book_of_Erotic_Fantasy
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Mar 6, 2019 21:32
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Yep it's Erotic - it's something that comes up a lot more often in online gaming naturally, it's easier to bully someone into it when you're not within punching distance.
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Mar 6, 2019 21:38
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Want to make a macro that just autoreplies with generic "oh baby" comments interspersed with lines from the wizard hat and quotes from the confused Indian men on facebook thread.
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Mar 6, 2019 21:54
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Playing a new warforged I realised that since warforged don't need to breathe their speech is independent of physical exertion. Which is why I was able to sprint full tilt bouncing off walls full murder run after a guy while pleasantly saying "Hey. Hey guy. Why are you running guy? Don't be running. Hey. I just want to talk to you. Come on guy." in a normal conversational tone for the whole chase.
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Mar 6, 2019 22:39
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Fumbles posted:How can you be put in a situation where you ERP with another player? and then be forced to follow through? That's as strong a sign to I put on my robe and wizard hat
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Mar 6, 2019 23:52
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Splicer posted:Playing a new warforged I realised that since warforged don't need to breathe their speech is independent of physical exertion. Oh I very much need to remember this one.
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Mar 6, 2019 23:59
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Enslavedquote:I remember waking up in the back of a slaver’s wagon with a devastating headache and roiling nausea in my gut. I was soon to learn that my traveling companions were the slaver himself, a one-eared man named Gyamar, and two other kidnapped children: a Marsh Sardi boy named Keler- familiar by face from our annual clan gatherings- and one other. The slaver delighted in telling me that I’d been sold by my friend at the behest of his mother, fearing that “the Waterfinder’s Curse” would come down upon them all. I discovered that Kunara’s family had preyed on the fears and biases of my whole clan and had managed to turn my whole clan against my father, electing via secret council to eliminate my entire family and all of our influence. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Mar 7, 2019 |
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Mar 7, 2019 06:23
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I'm diggin' it, Agrikk.
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Mar 7, 2019 19:22
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PurpleXVI posted:I'm not sure if non-personal experiences are acceptable content for this thread, but here's some loving poo poo: Uh... send me an invite
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Mar 8, 2019 09:33
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Does it count as "continuing the ERP" if I light the other person on fire?
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Mar 8, 2019 15:20
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CobiWann posted:Does it count as "continuing the ERP" if I light the other person on fire? "You don't understand, my character is pyrosexual. It HAS to be this way!"
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Mar 8, 2019 18:41
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thespaceinvader posted:Oh I very much need to remember this one.
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Mar 8, 2019 19:45
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Splicer posted:Same warforged will be switching from rogue to the new artificer (full switch, not multiclassing). Running on beta content both in and out of character and you bet I am going to take that ball and run with it. I'm hearing it in Korg's voice tell me I'm correct.
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Mar 8, 2019 19:51
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So, during my last stint as DM, something remarkable happened. All characters are roughly lv10, on their second campaign. They're ascending a tower that houses a powerful lich who's caused them a lot of grief, and each new level in the tower constitutes a new challenge. Characters - Brumthrum, a neutral/good dwarf paladin with a gambling addiction, runs a bakery chain. - Ragnar, a chaotic/neutral human barbarian prince who is hairless and an albino, has major political ambitions. - Blor VII, a chaotic/evil dyslectic halfling sorcerer. - Floris, a chaotic/neutral hideous gnome ranger, often doesn't fight when he doesn't feel the need. The first level had them solve riddles, and the second level had them act against character without them knowing it (e.g. Brumthrum was faced with the task of crushing an innocent little bird). The third saw them square off against 16 drow martial artists. For the penultimate stage, I had them secretly jot down who they thought was the most hated member of their party. My idea was that the most hated member had to leave and search for the lich's phylactery so they had to confront the lich with just three party members. Miraculously, each member wrote down their own name. - Brumthrum explained he thought the others probably thought he was too much of a stick-in-the-mud and a do-gooder. - Ragnar said he suspected the others of resenting him for dragging them along too many political sidequests. - Blor said he felt the rest thought he was too evil. - Floris thought the others felt he was too cowardly. I thought this was so perfect that I counted it as a crit and had the phylactery destroy itself. My players all high-fived and hailed "self-hatred" as their major strength, upon which they deftly defeated the lich.
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Mar 9, 2019 01:33
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thespaceinvader posted:I'm hearing it in Korg's voice tell me I'm correct. I've not run a female character outside a one shot or NPC before so I'm curious how this goes. Splicer fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Mar 9, 2019 |
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Mar 9, 2019 01:54
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Freedomquote:I traveled south by ship, far away from the Territories held by the City of the Eagle Throne to the port city of Thalos, the City of Seven Score Thousand Smokes. I had heard tales of this City and its Mad Emperor and how the river it sat on served as the high water mark for where the southern Sulouise invasion was thrown back three hundred years ago, though details of that battle remain vague. Nevertheless, Thalos sat like a beacon on the plains that stretched from the coast to the Mountains of the Teeth several days hard ride to the east, mountains that serve as a bulwark against the wild badlands of the Bone March.
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Mar 9, 2019 03:26
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*blows on mic* Is this thing on?
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Mar 12, 2019 16:47
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Agrikk posted:*blows on mic* 
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Mar 12, 2019 17:36
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Thalosquote:Of course, the attack at the gate and the fires burning in the shanty town had caused all sorts of commotion and the black-clad watch was pushing pack the teeming throng with clubs and some bared blades. As we pressed through the crowd we discovered that the two horsemen had actually been the Overlord van Neuman himself and his new consort. It was said that she was a witch from over the mountains. No, it was said this was his old lover risen back from the dead. No. She was summoned from the outer planes. Whatever the case, the Overlord had ridden into the City with her at his side only a few months ago and had disappeared with her into the tower that loomed over the City – an entity unto itself. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Mar 15, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 07:06
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"Those were load bearing cats!"
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Mar 13, 2019 21:29
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given the Newtonian nature of cats, making them load-bearing seems like a terrible idea.
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Mar 13, 2019 23:11
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I'm currently nursing an ulcer and need a distraction, so here's (part 1 of) the story of the 6 hour DnD one shot I played in on New Year's Eve. Some background: The amount of times I’ve played DnD could be counted on one, maybe two hands, so I’m not completely familiar with all the classes and monsters that appear in this story. Anyone who can fill in the blanks on mechanics I space on are appreciated. This year, I spent my New Year’s Eve playing a 6-hour one shot run by my best friend who has played way more DnD than me, but had never DM’d before that night. My only instructions were: “make a Level 13 Evil character.” I gave him the benefit of the doubt and made a LE Half-Orc Monk who I gave an academic background so I could say he was an anthropologist who studies foreign cultures and how they respond to getting punched. Besides Me (M) there was: Friend (F): The aforementioned DM for the night. Promised chaos and delivered. We remain friends. Usual DM (UDM): One of the hosts of the New Year’s party along with his husband. He isn’t always the DM in their group but he was the one who ran Tomb of Annihilation for me and some of the others from this group so  . Played a Wizard and took almost entirely defensive spells.Stealthy Guy (SG): One of the players from the ToA game. I heard from Friend that he’s a killer DM, but is supposedly not very good at killing players. Played some...thing that cast Eldritch Blast exclusively and insisted on stealthing at every possible moment. Healer (H): Usual DM’s husband. Really sweet guy who cooked us spaghetti and got us petite squares. He doesn’t normally play TRPGs and it showed. Played a Druid and took mostly healing spells to my knowledge. Bunny (B): Regular in their DnD group. I was told his name was Bunny and I can’t think of a better descriptor. Was instructed prior to the game to make a Good character. Played a Dragonborn Paladin who’s big thing was he had a horse. I think he tuned out halfway through. Other Guy (OG): I have to be honest, I can’t remember anything about this guy except that he had to leave halfway through. Once the game started, Friend introduced 2 rules: First, all the encounters would be randomly drawn from decks of monsters. It seemed like the decks were divided by size and he made sure to do the math before actually starting the encounters so nothing would instantly wreck us so we were fine with this. Unfortunately while we weren’t getting stomped, he didn’t count on some encounters Second, at the start of each set piece, we’d each roll 1d4. We’d then be given that many cards from a deck of wondrous items (minus absurdly broken things like items that give Wish spells) and we would pick one from the dealt items to keep and use without class or alignment requirements. This was a great rule and led to some of the coolest moments of the night. And the most disappointing. Scene 1: ”Just say he’s a Plot Wizard” Notable Magic Items: UDM got a foldable boat and B got an item that randomly changes his alignment every minute, making the previously mentioned Good Character instruction worthless. F: “You wake up in a field. The last thing you remember before passing out was that you were talking to a strange man. What do you do? SG: I immediately stealth. After a couple a minutes of (most of us) introducing ourselves, an old man appeared. The old man we all were talking too! SG: Eldritch Blast. F: He counters it. UDM: He can Counterspell without rolling? F: Yes. UDM: I’m going to roll Arcana to see what his deal is. F: You can’t. He’s a hologram. This leads to at least a 10 minute argument about Illusion spells and other casting rules. M: Just say he’s a Plot Wizard or we’ll be here forever. So Plot Wizard gives us our plot: Defeat the ancient evil that kicked him out of his castle! B: What’s in it for us? PW: I’ll let you go home. M: Can the ancient evil be punched? PW: Probably. M: Sweet. Let’s go. We enter the castle’s foyer. We are told there is a locked door on the right. Perception and Arcana checks reveal nothing so I break down the door. F: The room is empty except for a broom. You found the supply closet. M: My broom now. Suddenly portals appear under SG and UDM’s feet. I try to pull UDM out and fall in. Almost immediately after, B, H, and OG fall in another. The whole session lasted 6 hours, so I’m going to break here for length. Gives me an excuse to write everyday anyhow. Next Time: "The mimic spontaneously combusts." MelvinBison fucked around with this message at 13:56 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 02:37
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MelvinBison posted:F: The room is empty except for a broom. You found the supply closet.
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Mar 14, 2019 13:47
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MelvinBison posted:M: Can the ancient evil be punched? Also playercharacters.txt
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Mar 14, 2019 15:14
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Player information and background here. Scene 2: ”The mimic spontaneously combusts.” Notable magic items: I had the option to get a bottle that could contain an absurd amount of water, which on the off chance we ran into an absurd amount of water, could’ve made UDM’s foldable boat from earlier useful, but I also happened to draw a Talisman of Pure Good. I kept the Talisman. So B, H, and OG emerged from their portals first and found themselves in the middle of a desert. Before they could do anything, F draws from the deck of monsters. F: Suddenly you see several goblin outriders riding towards you, and some harpy eagles above you. UDM: Wait, so are we there to help? F: No, you guys are somewhere else. UDM: Oh. Well best of luck guys; I’m getting more spaghetti. So while they were in combat, UDM, SG, and I helped ourselves to seconds, and by the time the spaghetti was gone they were still fighting goblins and harpies. So for about an hour we ended up drifting around the house, checking phones, petting cats, and at one point SG ran home for a sec to take his dog on a walk. Eventually, the last of the mobs went down. F: Suddenly more portals open up underneath you. B: Roll to dodge? F: No. B: Well gently caress me then. Finally, UDM, SG, and I emerged from our portals. SG: I immediately stealth. We end up in what amounted to a motel room, with a bed, two dressers, and a locked door. F draws from the monster deck. F: SG’s closest to the bed right? SG: Yeah. F: Are you sitting on it? SG: No. F: Do you want to? SG: No. M: I’m going to check one of the dressers. F: The dresser is a mimic and you’re stuck to it because it’s body is adhesive. The bed is a mimic too. UDM: Is the dresser I’m next to a mimic? F: No, just M’s. UDM: Oh cool. I cast Protective Barrier on the area I’m in. Have fun guys. Fortunately despite having an arm stuck to a mimic, I could still attack and flurry without any issues. SG was having luck with the bed. F: The bed mimic moves to engage SG. SG: What the gently caress? I’m stealthed, remember? F: It’s a small room and you’re standing between it and the monk. It can’t be helped. So while SG was fighting a bed, UDM had other plans. UDM: So tell me about this dresser. F: It has eight drawers on it, all numbered one to eight. UDM: I open drawer one. F: There’s nothing inside it, but when you open it you hear a click. UDM: Okay, I open drawer two. F: You hear a buzzer and both drawers slam shut. UDM: Oh god it’s one of those puzzles. Thanks to his barrier, UDM made himself designated puzzle-solver, and was allowed to open three drawers during each of his turns, while we were stuck fighting mimics. About this time, I was rereading my magic items and made a discovery. M: Hey, do mimics have an alignment? F: Let me check. Oh hey, it says they’re neutral. M: Cool. I slap my Talisman of Pure Good on him. He takes 6d6 damage. Besides it’s actual effect (which won’t become relevant until later), any non-good aligned creature that touches the talisman takes either 6d6 and 8d6 damage each round they’re touching it, depending on whether that creature is neutral or evil. Thanks to the house rules, I could use it with impunity. The mimic on the other hand- M: Also because the mimic’s adhesive, can that mean it’s stuck to him and he’ll keep taking damage? F: Yeah he will. He’ll take the damage at the start of your turn. The damage from the talisman was actually enough to kill him so I thought it was a moot point, but before I could go help SG: F: As soon as the mimic dies, a portal opens on the ceiling and another mimic falls out. M: The gently caress? F: This one looks a bit more beat up than the last one. Also your talisman’s still attached to it, don’t worry. We’d find out a few turns later that he was halving their max hp after each respawn. Mostly because while SG was struggling with the bed (there wasn’t enough room to get to him) and UDM was trying to solve the puzzle, I had killed so many mimics that they were dying to the talisman’s damage before they could get a turn, and eventually F ruled I didn’t even have to roll for damage anymore. After like a half hour of this nonsense: F: The mimic spontaneously combusts and portals open under your feet. I’m sorry guys, I’m not going to split the party anymore. M: Do I get my Talisman back? F: Yeah, you have it. M: All is forgiven. Next Time: “I lie down and wait for death.”
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Mar 15, 2019 01:50
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