UKMT March 2019 - we live in a hell world of piss and shit.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2019 - we live in a hell world of piss and shit.

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Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Failed Imagineer posted:

That kind of talk will summon Flaps

I wonder how I'd feel if I walked into the living room to find my sex robot having sex with Pissflaps on the sofa. I think I'd be very upset.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 2, 2024 17:20

Katt: Nov 14, 2017

sebzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/MikeGravel/status/1108362768518955008

#gravelgang

Free heroin samples for everyone.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:44

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Hentai Jihadist posted:

It has been interesting

May's just seeing how far you can get as a dictator against parliament and as its turning out parliament has little to no recourse against even the most incompetent and unpopular autocrat

That's not true, they had a vote of no confidence in May and the Tories supported her.

Parliament had the ability to remove her, but it chose not to

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:45

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Katt posted:

Free heroin samples for everyone.

Don't be loving stupid. Legalise it and tax it and only sell it at over-priced government stores like they do with bevvy in some Scandinavian countries.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:46

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

Sex Robot posted:

I called it before and I'm calling it now. Deep down they all want to default to no deal. The actual material impacts of crashing out won't reach them but they never have to take the responsibility of having made an actual decision. Instead of "doing a brexit" they can just have brexit happen to the country and perpetually pass the buck in a circle until they retire to the Mediterranean.

its been painfully obvious for over a year that this is what will happen and they will blame jeremy corbyn

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:46

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Rarity posted:

I wonder how I'd feel if I walked into the living room to find my sex robot having sex with Pissflaps on the sofa. I think I'd be very upset.

Bring back the rule about talking about him

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:47

lemonadesweetheart: May 27, 2010

Why is pissflaps even banned anyway? He seems like an okay poster.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:48

lemonadesweetheart: May 27, 2010

Sorry that was a poor joke.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:49

abelwingnut: Dec 23, 2002

he�s not banned. he posts in the eu thread

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:51

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

forkboy84 posted:

I don't think that's really true. There's the RMT, ASLEF (what is it about the trains?) & BFAWU and that's all I'm aware of. The overwhelming majority of union leadership and membership are quite aware of how dangerous Brexit will be for our jobs.

Len McLuskey loves Brexit. Head of Unite, the biggest union in the country

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:51

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

EU commission opposes Theresa May request for Brexit extension until 30 June but will accept long delay

http://flip.it/oMfo0R

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:51

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

JFairfax posted:

EU commission opposes Theresa May request for Brexit extension until 30 June but will accept long delay

http://flip.it/oMfo0R

We're all dead and this is purgatory.

10 Insanely bad thing
20 Lol that owns

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:53

Renaissance Robot: Oct 10, 2010; Bite my furry metal ass

forkboy84 posted:

Let's be fair, Theresa May's political legacy should at least be partially Windrush

Also Yarl's Wood.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:53

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Katt posted:

Free heroin samples for everyone.

Everyone always leaps to heroin as the worst drug ever, but the worst things about it are:

Possible jail sentences up to 7 years for simple possession, because of its high illegality.
Being forced to deal with violent assholes or dangerous chemistry to get it, because of its high illegality.
Criminality to get cash to pay for it, because of its high price, because of its high illegality.
Trauma and infectious disease transmission, because of injection, because that's the most efficient route of administration, because of its high price, because of its high illegality.

All of which have a common denominator.

Outside of that common denominator the main dangers are:

Constipation
Muscle cramps
Unfitness to drive or operate heavy machinery
Maybe some poo poo with μ-opioid receptors if you use it for decades

namesake posted:

10 Insanely bad thing
20 Lol that owns

30 Goto 10

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:56

Renaissance Robot: Oct 10, 2010; Bite my furry metal ass

Abel Wingnut posted:

he’s not banned. he posts in the eu thread

He's threadbanned from the UKMT because

is about all he posted for two years straight.

Renaissance Robot fucked around with this message at 15:01 on Mar 20, 2019

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:58

Surprise T Rex: Apr 9, 2008; Dinosaur Gum

Guavanaut posted:

heroin stuff

Surely the main danger is just its addiction factor and capability to ruin your life that way? (applies to alcohol and fags as well though)

# ? Mar 20, 2019 14:59

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Katt posted:

Free heroin samples for everyone.

Special offer: Get one free and buy all the others

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:02

Sleve McDichael: Feb 11, 2019; ~nice~

All this running down the clock has been a real boost for my anxiety levels, managing to feel close to palpitations almost 24/7, it's super wild. Excuse me while I stare into space, trying not to puke, failing miserably at getting any work done.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:03

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

CoolCab posted:

i hope you feel better, pal. if you ever need to talk that's what we're here for.

Thank you! I appreciate it.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:03

Katt: Nov 14, 2017

Surprise T Rex posted:

Surely the main danger is just its addiction factor and capability to ruin your life that way? (applies to alcohol and fags as well though)

Libertarians figure that once the free market starts producing it and selling it in grocery stores then addicts will just have a big bowl of cheap heroin-o's for breakfast and so addiction won't be a problem.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:04

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

namesake posted:

We're all dead and this is purgatory.

10 Insanely bad thing
20 Lol that owns

There's this strange disconnect between knowing we're all going to be hosed and really enjoying Tess getting her poo poo kicked in by the EU regularly

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:04

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

https://twitter.com/TheAVClub/status/1108146167219716096

:3:

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:11

PST: Jul 5, 2012; If only Milliband had eaten a vegan sausage roll instead of a bacon sandwich, we wouldn't be in this mess.

This has started getting spread all over the place on facebook from 'Dorset Police Volunteers' and now loca newspaper/news sites.

quote:

SAFETY MESSAGE

There have been a couple of serious traffic accidents of note (not within Dorset Police) where the wearing of identity lanyards around the drivers' necks has exacerbated the severity of the injuries sustained. This type of accident is fortunately unlikely, however staff, officers and volunteers should be aware of the hazard and how to avoid it.

One driver was involved in a minor car accident and was wearing their company lanyard and pass. The car airbag was deployed on impact and the force of the airbag caused the lanyard and pass to be pushed into the driver's chest, causing a lung to collapse and requiring hospital treatment. Had the person not been wearing their lanyard and pass at the time, they would have most likely walked away relatively unscathed.

In another accident, a NHS worker stored a lot of keys on her lanyard for medicine cabinets, lockers etc. She got into her car and was driving home, but did not remove her lanyard. Unfortunately she also had a crash that triggered the airbag. The force of the airbag caused the keys to perforate her bowel; she was in hospital for over 6 weeks and she has been off work now for 6 months.

Actions / Key Messages
� It is strongly advised that everyone removes their lanyards/ staff passes when leaving the office for both safety and security reasons
� More notably, please remember to remove your lanyard whilst driving.

Where possible, use breakaway lanyards that will unclip themselves if caught or stuck.

For the first claim, that's the only source for it, as in this story being recently spread without any attribution to the claim is the originator of those keywords together.

For the 2nd there is a medical citation for keys perforating the bowel from a car crash

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19505417

Note, there's no mention of a lanyard
It was a man
It was in Italy
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Facebook is still poo poo and allows the spread of 'believable' bullshit way too easily. Also humans are gullible.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:12

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

https://twitter.com/George_Osborne/status/1108369140094590978

She...she really doesn't grasp how unpopular she is, does she? This isn't a threat. This isn't a thing people don't want to happen.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:16

Bardeh: Dec 2, 2004; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/PaulJSweeney/status/1108371191692230658

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:19

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Surprise T Rex posted:

Surely the main danger is just its addiction factor and capability to ruin your life that way? (applies to alcohol and fags as well though)

Addiction itself isn't really a danger if the thing you're addicted to isn't costly and isn't dangerous.

Like cigarette addiction isn't dangerous because you need to keep going outside every 90 minutes and you might get pooed on by a bird, it's the lung cancer stuff.
And gambling addiction would only be harmful in a time/preference manner if you were only doing it with tiddlywinks and not your kids' lunch money.

So addiction to something that causes constipation and unfitness to drive or operate heavy machinery is harmful, which is why we shouldn't be encouraging everyone to take it (although that wouldn't make everyone become addicted, addiction science has a large number of views on what causes that, it would give everyone the hard shits for a while and make them bad at driving buses).

But the chemical harms pale in comparison to the legal harms, which is something that we can do something about without turning it into a free market free-for-all, by learning from what worked and didn't in the past.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:19

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

Rarity posted:

https://twitter.com/TheAVClub/status/1108146167219716096

Lowtax finally lifted himself by his bootstraps!

Gunna buy lots of cans of soup and jam today. Pretty happy with the stockpiling situation, but variety can keep morale up. So jam and chunky soups it is, because off camera are a whole bunch of noodles and pasta.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:22

Bardeh: Dec 2, 2004; Fun Shoe

Why do none of these Brexit stashes have any huge bags of dried beans and pulses? They're cheap, far more nutritious than pasta and noodles, last forever, and are versatile. What I see in that pic above is a larder full of sodium. Holy poo poo there's so much salt in most tinned food.

Get some big sacks of chickpeas, lentils, kidney beans, etc, a few different spices, and that's filling, flavourful, nutritious food for a long, long time.

Bardeh fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Mar 20, 2019

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:25

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Bardeh posted:

https://twitter.com/PaulJSweeney/status/1108371191692230658

Well that's that then. See you all on the other side of the event horizon, I guess

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:28

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

Guavanaut posted:

Everyone always leaps to heroin as the worst drug ever, but the worst things about it are:

Possible jail sentences up to 7 years for simple possession, because of its high illegality.

Being forced to deal with violent assholes or dangerous chemistry to get it, because of its high illegality.

Criminality to get cash to pay for it, because of its high price, because of its high illegality.

Trauma and infectious disease transmission, because of injection, because that's the most efficient route of administration, because of its high price, because of its high illegality.

All of which have a common denominator.

Outside of that common denominator the main dangers are:

Constipation

Muscle cramps

Unfitness to drive or operate heavy machinery

Maybe some poo poo with μ-opioid receptors if you use it for decades

30 Goto 10

You missed one: Uncertainty of strength/impurities in supply. My cousin died in around 2000 due to this - there was a bad batch that lead to a bunch of overdose deaths. This'd be sorted out by legalisation, and presumably people would also have access to naloxone in case of overdose?

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:31

Vlex: Aug 4, 2006; I'd rather be a climbing ape than a big titty angel.

Bardeh posted:

Why do none of these Brexit stashes have any huge bags of dried beans and pulses? They're cheap, far more nutritious than pasta and noodles, last forever, and are versatile. What I see in that pic above is a larder full of sodium. Holy poo poo there's so much salt in most tinned food.

Get some big sacks of chickpeas, lentils, kidney beans, etc, a few different spices, and that's filling, flavourful, nutritious food for a long, long time.

Yeah for real. I have dried kidney beans, black beans, chickpeas, and lentils as well as pasta and rice. A variety of stock cubes too.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:32

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

forkboy84 posted:

https://twitter.com/George_Osborne/status/1108369140094590978

She...she really doesn't grasp how unpopular she is, does she? This isn't a threat. This isn't a thing people don't want to happen.

She doesn't read the papers anymore as it's "too distressing"... so no she has no idea.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 15:33