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That's wonderful! It's so great when medicine comes through. I had my C-section Tuesday and it was so completely worth it. I was scared until I met my baby, but then nothing mattered after that. We're leaving the hospital today and I'm pleasantly surprised at how little pain I'm in even though I'm just on high dose Tylenol and Advil. Something I wish I'd known before going through this is that on day 2 the baby goes through spells of cluster feeding. If you're like me, then you get all upset because your milk hasn't come in, so you think she's starving and you can't feed her. Well, a nurse pointed out at 2 or so in the morning that the baby is just looking to suck at this point (after hanging on the boob for 2+ hours and crying nonstop) so putting a finger in her mouth allows you to not feel like a failure as a human being. This allowed my husband to donate a finger to the cause of me getting a couple hours of sleep. I hope at least one person reads this and doesn't spend so much time feeling like a failure like I did.
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Mar 23, 2019 02:24
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take me to the beaver posted:That's wonderful! It's so great when medicine comes through. I second the hell out of that last paragraph. Another option if milk isn't coming in yet is to combine the finger in the mouth with a syringe/tube full of milk. It lets the second parent feed the baby too. This saved us in the middle of the night when a nurse said "we noticed that your baby has been really hungry for the last two days, would you like to try some donor milk?" Hell yes, you mean all the constant crying isn't normal? Hook us up!
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Mar 23, 2019 03:20
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wizzardstaff posted:I second the hell out of that last paragraph. Another option if milk isn't coming in yet is to combine the finger in the mouth with a syringe/tube full of milk. It lets the second parent feed the baby too. This saved us in the middle of the night when a nurse said "we noticed that your baby has been really hungry for the last two days, would you like to try some donor milk?" Hell yes, you mean all the constant crying isn't normal? Hook us up! I have some questions about receiving a donation if you don’t mind. I wanted to donate my excess milk but I have a question that no one from the hospital can answer. Or rather they won’t because it may stop me from donating in the future. Totally OK if you don’t want to answer — were you billed for the milk you received? If so, how much was it? Did your insurance cover any of it? It bothers me that the hospital says they don’t know if the receiving party is billed for it. I tried to explain that I understand there are possibly fees involved because someone has to pay for the milk testing to make sure it’s clean and OK and for storage. But it shouldn’t be an excessive amount. Would it stop me from donating? Probably not. It would just make me feel better knowing they are not lining their pockets from selling donated milk to babies in need. 
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Mar 23, 2019 04:19
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We were billed for the milk. I think it was about $5/oz and that insurance covered it, but honestly I can’t remember too clearly since we were sleep-deprived and would have paid anything at that point to feed our baby. Looking at milk banks in my area, they charge that much as a processing fee so it sounds about right. Come to think of it, the first few bottles may have actually been free, or at least covered as part of our stay. I remember the nurse very conspiratorially sneaking us a few more bottles because she knew they would be expensive otherwise. We left the hospital with a prescription for more but ended up not getting any because my wife’s milk came in stronger by the end of the week.
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Mar 23, 2019 05:37
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Hi thread, I’m pregnant. It’s still early but I feel so confident about this, like I’ve never been less scared of anything. I’m healthy as poo poo and my body usually works properly so I’m trusting it knows what to do. So far I’m not neurotic about this at all so I hope I’ll stay that way. My biggest concern right now is avoiding all the guilt I hear coming out of new moms. How much judgment can I expect for choosing a convenient scheduled c-section, or when my baby ends up getting some formula, or not cosleeping in my bed, or not using cloth diapers? Or whatever other decision is the hot topic of the week. I don’t care about winning the Best 2019 Mother olympics, I won’t expect myself to be perfect because that’s impossible. We will do what is best for us. I think I can be steadfast in my attitude and decisions, but is that a realistic expectation? Or is feeling guilty over everything just baked into motherhood? I have the benefit of living in Asia so the people around me don’t give such militant, condescending judgments since I’m a foreigner. It’s more funny stuff like “in our culture, we believe if you eat crab your baby will be grabby with their hands” or “we have superstition that if you get nauseous but don’t puke, it will be a boy.”
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Mar 23, 2019 10:21
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Switchback posted:Hi thread, I’m pregnant. It’s still early but I feel so confident about this, like I’ve never been less scared of anything. I’m healthy as poo poo and my body usually works properly so I’m trusting it knows what to do. So far I’m not neurotic about this at all so I hope I’ll stay that way. Congratulations!! You do you, honey. No matter what you do there’s going to be some mother somewhere doing some judging. gently caress them. Because they don’t know your body and they don’t know your baby. Hang out with other mothers who are not assholes. After I came back to work I became really good friends with another mother that I didn’t really talk to before because she’s the only one that doesn’t judge and always has really good advice. And like you said - “we will do what’s best for us” —Do your own research and do what you feel is right for the two of you. It really is petty poo poo. I never thought in my life I would be shamed for feeding breast milk. I’ve always heard it the other way around, but here I am in 2019 and multiple people have tried to make me feel bad for not giving 100% formula. I’m the only mother in my department that has ever given breast milk. They think that I’m crazy and one even told me her kids are smart (they are 3 & 4) because formula makes kids smart and she didn’t want them to be dumb. She basically said, to my face, that my baby is going to be dumb because I’m not feeding formula. Whatever lady, kick rocks.
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Mar 23, 2019 11:29
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I also birthed babbies in Asia and the superstitions are lol, just laugh them away. C-sections are a doctor's decision, a mix of breastfeeding and formula is common here, and many families cosleep until the kids start middle school  So whatever, do whatever is practical and if anyone is being ridiculous, just "in my country…" and ignore their blabber.You can also make friends by poo poo talking those boringass "customs," I'm sure someone will have some absurd mother-in-law stories.
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Mar 23, 2019 13:48
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Parenting becomes infinitely easier as soon as you hit the point where you really do not give a poo poo what people think or say about your choices. So start now. It's fine to say "that's kinda rude" or "that's not up for discussion" or anything else firmly but kindly for questions or opinions that are rude or judgy or inappropriate. And then move on.
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Mar 23, 2019 15:06
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Can we hear some more of the superstitions? Those sound amazing  One of my friends was telling me about ones from her country but it's been too long and I should ask her to tell me again. I don't remember any besides 'if you crave something and eat too much of it then your baby will come out with a birthmark in that shape'. Kind of bummed that my kid missed out on a birthmark in the shape of some heckin spicy chicken wangs.
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Mar 23, 2019 17:56
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Oh poo poo I have a ton from my family (Chinese). Some from the top of my head: You're not supposed to do any repairs in the house. My grandmother is still convinced my birthmark is from my dad repairing the tub when my mom was pregnant. My parents refused to let us put a single nail on the wall to hang a painting when I was pregnant. I was told cold drinks are bad for you in general but especially when you're pregnant. My mother's face when I was like, "you know the hospital gave me ice chips to chew on while I was in labor" was priceless. Moving your bed is apparently a big no no? There's a ton of poo poo you're supposed to do/not do in the first post partum month. The craziest was being told I can't shower or take any baths during that time (lol no). Also supposed to not eat fruits and vegetables (wtf)? Oh and the baby and I weren't supposed to leave the house. Yeah I did none of that. There's more but I don't recall, I thought all of it was stupid though. The reasoning behind the month thing, as my mother tried to tell me, is that the month after giving birth you can "radically reset your health and get rid of chronic health problems or acquire new ones" based on how well you follow these weird rules. She then literally went on to lament, "alas it is too bad men do not get this period of time in their life where they can change the fate of their health." 
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Mar 24, 2019 00:00
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Your mother is excellent
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Mar 24, 2019 00:18
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My friends in Indonesia were pregnant in Bali. A neighbor cut down their banana tree because it is “bad luck for the baby.” Then they moved to Aceh, where the neighbor planted them a banana tree, because it is “good luck for the baby.” In Singapore, you can’t shower your baby after dark because it will make them sick (maybe this was reasonable advice for places that aren’t one degree off the equator?). quote:Taking a shower during the month is not allowed. Traditional belief holds that after childbirth, the woman's skin is loose and water can enter through holes in the skin. This could cause a cold which the baby could also catch. Sushi is funny. America is militant about sushi being NOT OK! And we publicly shame Hillary Duff accordingly. But the UK takes a more moderate “it should probably be frozen first, but generally it’s fine” and Japan takes a very encouraging “sushi is a part of a healthy pregnancy”. There is some singaporean thing about not being able to eat pineapple. Cooling foods cause miscarriage? Similar reasoning to not allowing cold drinks. America used to tell pregnant women not to eat peanuts and now peanut allergies skyrocketed, so I’m pretty much not listening to anybody’s advice about what I can eat.
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Mar 24, 2019 10:31
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I'd be wary of just ignoring some of the things you get told because they sound weird. Some of it is grounded and a bit of research into it can help shed some light. Having said that some of it is just silly. Be careful what you're eating in Asia if you're pregnant, they usually have proscribed stuff you should avoid for a reason.
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Mar 28, 2019 12:26
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TMI ahead: Felt the baby drop super low earlier in the week. Had GBS done, so the midwife did a cervical check just for curiosity’s sake and confirmed that yes, the baby is head down and very low. Cervix is “really soft and dimpled.” That was yesterday. Today I’ve had some diarrhea (first not-rock-hard stool in months) and vomiting. Can’t tell if I’ve caught the GI bug that’s going around at work or if I should be worried about preterm labor. I had the GI bug in December that landed me in the ED for fluids, and this time around it doesn’t seem as bad (yet, it just started about five hours ago). I’ve been having pretty intense BH for the past few weeks and haven’t noticed an increase in the frequency of those, but I will be keeping a close eye on that. 36w2d today... I’m not ready yet. Edit to update: Well I’m on the L&D floor getting fluids. Contractions got more frequent are mildly painful, intense, and about two minutes apart, but I’m not dilated at all. Hopefully fluids will slow things down and I can go home later. I decided to call the nurse online because the abdominal cramping was really painful and I was having lower back pain too, which is new, and they had me come straight in. Glad I called because since I’ve been here the contractions really picked up. Edit to update again: I was in preterm labor. The fluids and a long lavender bath slowed things down, and I’m down to 1-2 contractions an hour. Will probably be going home later in the afternoon. I felt pretty lame for calling, but all the info I got from birth class and the internet said to call ASAP if you were preterm and having the symptoms I had. Not in preterm labor any more so they fixed me! Was definitely the GI bug that started this fiasco. Moral of the story: when in doubt, just call. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Mar 30, 2019 |
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Mar 30, 2019 00:34
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Glad everything turned out alright! I think it's 37 weeks they would just let it happen? Hopefully yours stays in there and bakes for a few more weeks at least.
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Apr 1, 2019 13:39
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Thanks, I’m glad it’s all over too. I can’t even imagine if labor hadn’t stopped and I had to birth a baby at that point. I started feeling sick after a night shift, then was dealing with GI symptoms for several hours before going in and throughout the rest of the night. 45 mins of sleep over two days, dehydration, awful intestinal cramping, pooing and puking, and birthing a child all at the same time? That would be such a nightmare. Feeling much better now, although I’ve noticed my BH contractions are sometimes feeling like more intense menstrual cramps, which is new for me. I wonder if actual labor is coming up sooner rather than later. Technically two more days until I’m term.
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Apr 2, 2019 03:10
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Koivunen posted:Thanks, I’m glad it’s all over too. I can’t even imagine if labor hadn’t stopped and I had to birth a baby at that point. I started feeling sick after a night shift, then was dealing with GI symptoms for several hours before going in and throughout the rest of the night. 45 mins of sleep over two days, dehydration, awful intestinal cramping, pooing and puking, and birthing a child all at the same time? That would be such a nightmare. My contractions felt like menstrual cramps to me when they started (I was induced).
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Apr 2, 2019 13:59
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Twin dad incoming, at week 22 now.
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Apr 5, 2019 02:21
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bomb posted:Twin dad incoming, at week 22 now. Congratulations and good luck!
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Apr 5, 2019 04:25
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I got my first scan (9.5 weeks) and it was moving it’s little flippers all around!! I didn’t expect it to be visibly moving yet. Huh it’s alive, that’s so weird and cool. lemonadesweetheart posted:I'd be wary of just ignoring some of the things you get told because they sound weird. Some of it is grounded and a bit of research into it can help shed some light. Having said that some of it is just silly. Be careful what you're eating in Asia if you're pregnant, they usually have proscribed stuff you should avoid for a reason. I don’t eat weird stuff anyway, but that’s never what the advice is about, it’s only about heating/cooling food “balance”. I’ve had nine people warn me that I can only drink hot water now. I do that anyway, but like uhhh in the West we have healthy babies born all the time to women who drank cold water. Being a foreigner is great, I can cherry-pick whatever country’s advice is what I want to hear, and Norway and Japan say I should still eat sushi! Ok here’s a genuine question that may have a non-negligible risk- how early can you “not shake” a baby? I know they die pretty easily when you do that after they’re born but what about during pregnancy? I had a taxi driver worry about bumps in the road and I roll my eyes, but is there anything to that? If I dance and jump up and down, would I give my baby a concussion? I’m still super early so I’m not about to stop dancing but maybe this isn’t one I should brush off like “you can’t ride your bike now” (lol @ what a Dutch woman would say to that advice!).
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Apr 6, 2019 13:18
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Normal life is fine. At my work (kindergarten) pregnant teachers are kept away from pick-up/drop off bus duty because there's no seatbelts and sometimes you have to stand when the bus is moving. Bicycles are fine (Japan) as long as you feel physically comfortable. Sushi is fine… in Japan. Food safety varies by region. The US has a lot of food restriction suggestions because the US has problems with massive outbreaks.
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Apr 6, 2019 15:40
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Pretty sure you can't shake a baby before it's born because any sudden shocks are cushioned by the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus. It's like being inside a waterbed. Direct abdominal impact, however, is a big no-no because it could either hurt the fetus directly or cause placental abruption. So biking is fine, falling off a bike not so much. And falling is more likely the larger you get because your balance gets all wonky. Anyone know anything about what to do about a forceful letdown when nursing? I keep spraying my baby in the face. It's entertaining until she starts choking while nursing
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Apr 6, 2019 17:01
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I am not a doctor but I danced and did exercises like jump squats during my first and second trimester and my baby is still doing great as I'm entering my third. Dr. Google also confirms amniotic fluid will protect bb and not to worry about bumpy roads, running, jumping, etc. I'd just avoid anything akin to the shock of falling off a bike. Great news everyone: our cat peed on all the baby clothes. Definitely to signal that he's exited about her and is going to be a precious angel when she arrives. Definitely.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:27
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When you feel the letdown, pull baby off boob and spray into a burp cloth for a few seconds until it calms down, then relatch. Or try certain positions where baby is more upright. Sometimes I’ll even pump a little first if my boob feels really full and I know it’s gonna choke him.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:29
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Hi_Bears posted:Sometimes I’ll even pump a little first if my boob feels really full and I know it’s gonna choke him. Don't you worry that this will contribute to the problem (if it's caused by oversupply)? I've been trying different positions but I just started this breastfeeding thing and everything is super awkward. This lactation thing is like a weird superpower where my boobs are now fire hoses that I try to feed to a little wiggling goblin. All my clothes are covered in milk. I'm hoping that everything calms down after a couple weeks, because if I have to go back to work like this it isn't gonna work out.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:54
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take me to the beaver posted:Don't you worry that this will contribute to the problem (if it's caused by oversupply)? Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about this at this stage of breastfeeding, I had insane supply really early on and I promise you it does calm down in a couple of weeks. In my experience pumping didnt muck this up. I'd take advantage of the situation by getting a bit of the extra milk in the freezer so you can use it later. E: also your baby is learning to breastfeed at the same time, they get better with practice. My son was never a good feeder due to a posterior tie but even now at 4 months when he breastfeeds he generally doesn't get milk everywhere anymore, despite the fact he is 90% bottle fed. Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Apr 6, 2019 |
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Apr 6, 2019 21:02
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I’m on my 6th month of exclusive pumping and I miss those early days of excessive supply. I was pumping about 40-50 ounces a day. Now I’m lucky to do 20. The freezer supply is almost gone.
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Apr 6, 2019 23:26
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At what point in y’alls pregnancies did you start to feel like you have a relationship with your baby?
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Apr 7, 2019 02:53
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About 6 months in, I was in the kitchen getting some food prepared and I farted, and baby jumped in response. That was probably the moment it became clear I had a human in there.
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Apr 7, 2019 03:41
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I’m at 37w and I still don’t feel a connection. I doubt it will happen before birth, which could be at any time now. Before getting pregnant I thought I’d have a relationship with it immediately upon seeing the positive test, but it never happened. I can tell the difference between a hand and a foot but it still doesn’t feel real.
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Apr 7, 2019 04:26
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Any tips for hip pain/SPD? I'm 34 weeks and I'm dying. I moved into the spare room over the last few nights because between my pillow fort and my groaning when rolling over in bed and/or getting up to use the bathroom, I felt bad keeping my husband up. Our guest mattress is a little softer which helps as well. But it's honestly just getting worse with no sign of stopping. Waaaahhhh. 6 weeks feels like such a long time and also the blink of an eye. Definitely done with feeling like my life is stuck in this limbo until little girl decides to show her face.
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Apr 7, 2019 04:53
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Swimming and pregnancy yoga helped me a lot, swimming moreso. Felt like a new woman for half a day after a 30 min leisurely swim.
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Apr 7, 2019 05:49
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Anyone know anything about what to do about a forceful letdown when nursing? I keep spraying my baby in the face. It's entertaining until she starts choking while nursing [/quote] I lean back as much as possible and that sometimes helps, but it still was like he was drinking from a fire hose. I also got a milk catcher from Amazon so I would stick that on during the forceful part and collect it. You can use it to catch leakage from the non-nursing side too. It gave a nice jump start on my freezer collection.
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Apr 7, 2019 06:49
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marchantia posted:Any tips for hip pain/SPD? I'm 34 weeks and I'm dying. I moved into the spare room over the last few nights because between my pillow fort and my groaning when rolling over in bed and/or getting up to use the bathroom, I felt bad keeping my husband up. Our guest mattress is a little softer which helps as well. But it's honestly just getting worse with no sign of stopping. Waaaahhhh. 6 weeks feels like such a long time and also the blink of an eye. Definitely done with feeling like my life is stuck in this limbo until little girl decides to show her face. If you don’t have a memory foam mattress, try a memory foam topper.
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Apr 7, 2019 12:20
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Sarah posted:If you don’t have a memory foam mattress, try a memory foam topper. This times a million. Made a huge difference for me. I lost my mucous plug at work overnight and have been having a few strong contractions every now and then along with shorter, more frequent, not so strong ones. Nothing regular or consistent, but things are brewing. Four days ago I was 70% effaced, 1cm dilated, and at a -1. Scheduled for two more overnights but I’m going to play it by ear.
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Apr 7, 2019 14:19
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take me to the beaver posted:Anyone know anything about what to do about a forceful letdown when nursing? I keep spraying my baby in the face. It's entertaining until she starts choking while nursing Mine was really, really aggressive and I tried to keep baby in a gravity friendly position as much as possible. Lots and lots of burping too to try and help with gas from all the air swallowing. They help a bit, but there isn't too much you can do but ride it out and wait for your supply to regulate. I think 7 or 8 weeks was the turning point where my tits weren't so rock hard and swollen that he could finally latch directly onto my nipple instead of a nursing shield.
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Apr 7, 2019 22:48
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I had SPD pain second time around and the only thing that helped was basically cinching my hips together with the strongest preg belt I could find, as tightly as I could manage. Makes sense when it's literally the two halves of your pelvis coming apart at the seams so your baby can get through. Labour and birth were speedy too.
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Apr 7, 2019 23:46
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marchantia posted:Any tips for hip pain/SPD? It is probably a little late for this, but I've found doing these prenatal 20 minute workout videos (kind of cheezy but w/e) to be enormously helpful for hip pain and crotch discomfort. They seem to be just the right intensity and length. I do them 3-5x/week since second trimester started (currently at almost 33 weeks). Bodyfit by Amy is the youtube channel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd7_vi0GV1c is an example. It also helps me feel like not a total sloth since even gentle walking tends to be one of the more uncomfortable activities because it really irritates my bladder. I still feel like these videos have kept me reasonably in shape and strong, even well into 3rd trimester and having broken the 200lb barrier recently. It seems that in general, gentle exercise is really helpful for the SPD/hip pain. Mine is always worst after I've been sitting for a long time (and getting up in the morning) but it is pretty brief and gets better with just a little bit of activity. I really credit the videos with this.
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Apr 8, 2019 00:48
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Yeah, at this point if I tried to do a lunge like in the image preview I'm pretty sure I would hit the floor. Clicking into the video I bet I would be able to do a lot of the exercises though, so it's nice to have another option for cardio. I am thankful to be able to walk without too much trouble so long as I go slowly, so that has been the bulk of my exercise. My doctor gave me some ideas for PT stuff to strengthen the muscles around my pelvis to help hold the bones in place. General advice has been trying not to move one half of the pelvis without also moving the other. Might pull up our foam topper from storage - we were given it from a friend moving out of town and on top of the pillow top mattress we have it is comically soft...I'm worried it might make turning it bed more difficult though but I'm willing to give it a shot! Next step would be an SI belt. I have one that sits higher to help support some of the belly weight when I'm cleaning but I've heard good things about a proper SI belt. It feels silly to shell out more money for 5 weeks of pain though, so we will see.
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Apr 8, 2019 23:35
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marchantia posted:
It will make it hard to turn in bed. But the reduction in pain / being pain free is worth it.
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Apr 9, 2019 00:27
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