Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Bust Rodd posted:

You think budding sexuality is a struggle? Try masking boners from your dad's hot girlfriend who walks around the house in her undies and is like maybe 5 years older than you. seems fair, those kids will probably have great attitudes about sex and relationships.

This was the weirdest subplot from Bill & Ted

# ? Mar 16, 2019 15:57

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# ? May 26, 2024 09:45

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Bust Rodd posted:

You think budding sexuality is a struggle? Try masking boners from your dad's hot girlfriend who walks around the house in her undies and is like maybe 5 years older than you. seems fair, those kids will probably have great attitudes about sex and relationships.

You've got to blame all the various "step" porn that you see these days.

# ? Mar 16, 2019 16:24

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

loquacius posted:

I mean, I feel like I could have told you this and I'm not even really following the case that closely

Ha, the girl at the coffee place I stop at sometimes was talking about this the other day. It's not a secret at all that he thinks he's going to jail. Pretty much everyone in Chicago "knows a guy who knows a guy" that says R Kelly is going to take a plea deal.

Also, for the guy with the Columbian girlfriend, just enjoy what you have going for the time being like you're planning. If you really do keep in touch while she's thousands of miles away and nothing at seems to emotionally change then start thinking about moving out there or her here. Be happy with what you have right now and optimistic for the future! You got this!

Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Mar 16, 2019

# ? Mar 16, 2019 18:04

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

bob dobbs is dead posted:

Dosage in the patient trials is about 1/10 to 1/2 recreational dosage

If you down an entire bottle of tylenol you will also die a miserable lingering death. Doesn't mean nobody should use tylenol

I realize you don't take as much but It's still a poo poo idea. If you don't have the supervision of a doctor you shouldn't be doing that poo poo, full stop. It's very unlikely to help his depression without professional assistance. Not sure why anyone would insist otherwise

Hot Columbian girlfriend dude, just go with it. Don't think about her leaving and to the extent you do think about it you should assume that will be the effective end of your relationship. If that's not how it shakes out fantastic, but it's best to assume that's how it will go and do everything you can to enjoy each other's company until that day

# ? Mar 18, 2019 20:56

alpaca diseases: May 19, 2009

this is from a couple pages ago but yea WineGoon- she was horny/lonely during the leadup to (perhaps because of) her friends engagement party and took a chance that she got to during it to get laid

sucks cause you probably would have had a shot if you took a gamble but eh, it happens to all of us

# ? Mar 20, 2019 09:32

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Astonishingly, I appear to have content today :wth:

quote:

I haven't spoken to her in twelve years, but somehow she invaded my thoughts earlier.
She's had this effect on me before.
We were good friends once upon a time.
Then I mentioned something that upset her ego, and she never talked to me again.
Maybe we can reconcile?
I miss her.

I mean, I feel like a decent amount of social media is constructed to help people who have fallen out of touch reconnect with each other, but if you wanna give it a shot, just try not to come on too strong because based on this fesh I feel like that's a potential issue

# ? Mar 26, 2019 22:00

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

loquacius posted:

Astonishingly, I appear to have content today

wtf is this, poetry? jesus christ

# ? Mar 26, 2019 23:16

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Ugh, bring back monkey torture porn cause I can't take anymore of that poetry.

# ? Mar 27, 2019 02:11

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

Pretty sure poems are supposed to rhyme, my dude

# ? Mar 27, 2019 16:09

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

hey, its the goon who was afraid of being ghosted

she didn't ghost me, but she got there half an hour late cus she was in the hospital & hospitals are slow. i cant be reached because im too cheap to pay for a cellphone (the plans here are among the most expensive in the world) so i was just sweatin' bullets

she was very apologetic and paid for my lunch. seeing her again next week maybe?

thanks for easing my goddamned idiot nerd nerves, friends. i needed it, it actually helped (wow!)

Aww glad to hear :unsmith:

# ? Mar 27, 2019 16:13

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

loquacius posted:

Aww glad to hear

Where does he live that mobile phone plans are expensive? I've seen Indian guys in dirt floor shantys with smart phones.

# ? Mar 27, 2019 17:02

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Rad-daddio posted:

Where does he live that mobile phone plans are expensive? I've seen Indian guys in dirt floor shantys with smart phones.

Canada or Australia would be my bet.

# ? Mar 27, 2019 17:07

Schneider Inside Her: Aug 6, 2009; Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

My phone plan is like $35 a month for unlimited calls so it is prob not Australia

# ? Mar 27, 2019 17:22

Custard Undies: Jan 7, 2006; #essereFerrari

Schneider Inside Her posted:

My phone plan is like $35 a month for unlimited calls so it is prob not Australia

Getting ripped off! $23 a month for unlimited

Problem being it's on the Virgin network and they are shutting it down.

# ? Mar 28, 2019 09:47

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Homeless people have cell phones. There's no reason not to have one.

# ? Mar 28, 2019 13:16

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I have content! I've been really busy at work though so I haven't posted it

quote:

Giantess fetish/breast expansion fetish goon making another confession after a long absense.

I see the honeypot ploy with the Jollyjack images in the political cartoons thread. Nice try assholes but jokes on you, I hate Jollyjack because he's terrible at politcal cartoons and that two parter comic where it's basically "Jollyjack recreates the scene of Dwight from the office cutting off a cpr dummy's face and wearing it, only its done to a cartoon character instead of a cpr dummy".

What he's referencing is a while back there was a minor argument derail in that thread because someone posted an Internet furry-porn guy's venture into political cartoons, I honestly did not care to investigate what KIND of porn he was making though so it took me a second to remember

Gonna say that one didn't count because it was about a thread I read and even I didn't know what it was about at first

quote:

Am I the only one who jacks off a whole bunch while brutally hungover? I may be incapable of walking in a straight line or standing up for more than a minute or keeping down anything more than a few drops of water, but I sure as hell can jack the hell off.

Also a walk on a nice day in a cool breeze can actually be amazingly pleasant while in such a hungover state.

I don't personally but it seems pretty normal yeah

Gotta distract yourself from it somehow right?

quote:

This is for the goon with the ex from some posts ago; I believe you can sever off a terrible relationship! Here's my dumb as poo poo story to hopefully encourage you to sever.

There was a guy I'd been going out with on and off for years since high school. We were loving idiots in the way high school kids often are, and we kept being friends/FWB through the years despite the following events

- First time we broke up kinda soon cuz he was going to uni and we wouldn't have much time to meet. We gave it a second whirl a year or so after I got in uni.
- I'd emotionally withdrawn from him the second time because I'd never had a long relationship and was afraid to gently caress up, which in turn turned to him eventually breaking up with me.
- Two days after the breakup, I found him on a bus with some friends and one particular girl it was dead obvious he'd cheated on me with. He introduced me to his friends as his ex while clearly hugging the other girl in a very "ha ha eat poo poo you goonette" way and asked if I wanted to sit with them. I think I spent forty minutes legit bawling after they'd gotten off the bus and I'd never felt so humiliated until then.
- As a brief parentheses, I met the girl again on her own a year later, while I was dating someone else. She roped me for help doing some compsci work (idek what she was doing at our side of the Uni, her dept was a 20m walk) and I ended up helping her bc I was too polite. So while I was helping her (read: doing her homework while she watched) she told me very specifically that she'd dumped his butt roughly a month after, and something along the lines of "oh right, you still like Guy. You can have his idiot rear end, he's all yours!" in the most condescending way imaginable. I bowed out of doing her homework after that and never see her again.
- Some two other flings that are too uninteresting
- Another fling we had: we were casually going out for a month and, being the forementioned idiot you can imagine, asked him "hey so uh... what's this exactly? are we on or...?". He drops me like a hot potato, figuratively and literally (he was hugging me when I asked; I nearly conked my head on the bench when he wormed his way out), and tells me we should probably stop seeing each other. We had to ride the same bus home because it was really late at night and there weren't many left, but I remember telling him before dropping off "hey I didn't need you to tell me your five year plan or poo poo, a iunno would've sufficed!" and then we didn't speak for like a year or so. Funnily enough I wasn't too mad about that, and that's probably the most satisfied break-up (if you can even call them that) we had.
- But of course we reconnect some years later, he ends up confessing he wants to commit for real, but I was just starting another relationship back then and I declined, considering all the previous paragraphs i typed earlier; he left to another state some months later. We keep texting very occasionally but nothing of that nature. He meets someone there, they date, they seem to get serious, but they cut off some time after. He'd even invited me and my girl bestie to visit him, but I noped the gently caress out of that.
- Two years later he returns to our state, we keep in touch more or less, but I'm finally getting some sort of common sense and getting tired of doing this stupid FWB dance every two years or so, so I finally get the guts to ghost him. After a while I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend from back then bc I couldn't see our relationship moving any further. Back to singledom woo.

So a year and half after ghosting him I was feeling lonely, caved in to temptation and sent him a text. On my very first texts I apologized for ghosting him, explained I needed some time away to think things, and that I understood he'd feel betrayed about being ghosted on the first place so he didn't need to keep replying to my texts. He texted back that he'd forgiven me awhile ago and that it was okay. We never called during those three months but we kept texting for random reasons, which quickly escalated to hot pics and sexting. Eventually we decide to meet at his apartment for reasons you might imagine. I go there fully convinced we're doing it and that I'm not going to walk away from whatever happens; at first we start getting in on it, he fingers me, and then... he starts checking facebook on his laptop to check in on the ongoing football semis. I'm there trying to tease him and he's sending messages on the football stream. He eventually stops me and tells me he's realized he's actually still very pissed at me and that he doesn't feel like going any further. So ofc I point out that I very specifically led my first contacts with this particular caveat, and that this didn't seem to particularly phaze him when he was asking me for pictures of my boobs. He mentions (ashamedly? idk actually. he didn't seem to be feeling anything for reals) tbat he was very good at bottling his angry feelings and he hadn't realized this until I'd appeared at his doorstep, upon which it never occured to turn me away until he'd gotten some action out of it. Basically at this point I'm on autopilot and hail a uber home. He still tells me while I'm going down his floor's steps to get in the car "hey maybe we should go eat sushi some other day" and I think I went mmm as a non-reply. The moment the uber leaves his street I'm tearing up again, because I'm a stupid rear end poo poo and he played me like an idiot. So that'd be the second most humiliating moment I'd experienced from him.

We texted a few times a month afterwards, he was trying to initiate contact and be conciliatory, but at this point I had a chat with my bestie, who confessed to me they'd once gone out for drinks at a club as friends and he'd left her off to her own devices while she was drunk and while nothing serious had happened to her she never forgave him for it. She only kept contact with him because I was still friends with him. At this moment we both say "okay gently caress it" and I decided to ghost his rear end once again, for the last time.

It's been four years and counting now and I've thankfully never felt the urge to text him again. I also haven't gone out with anyone since then, so that also doubles as the last time I got anywhere close to getting any. There's this guy I'm interested in, but it's a long distance relationship, he's also not into it, and it's honestly the loneliness making me stupid. And frankly I'm too old for this poo poo and I'm too stupid to hold a healthy relationship after spending years on this idiotic pattern. I should probably just write off having relationships and get it on with a hooker or fap to a pillow or something

You are absolutely not too stupid for a healthy relationship, you're just fixated on something familiar, and probably frustrated by new things repeatedly failing. It's a very common problem. You're still young (or it seems that way from your time figures) and there's plenty of time. I'll tell you what I tell everyone else: you won't keep thinking about this guy if you're thinking about other people instead. Find some group activities to take part in, and meet some new people. Get Tinder or whatever else people are using these days and start putting yourself back out there, on whatever timetable you need.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 13:41

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

freeranger posted:

Getting ripped off! $23 a month for unlimited

Problem being it's on the Virgin network and they are shutting it down.

I used to love Virgin mobile. Then, without warning, they stopped their roaming agreement with Sprint and my phone no longer worked at my house. Metro has true 35$/mo unlimited. I've used it way past their stated 20 gb upper limit streaming movies in HD and I've never seen them throttle it.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 13:53

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

What a rollercoaster.

I had something similar, an on and off relationship that was very toxic. Once I started thinking of it as an addiction, and spent a full day announcing myself to every room in my house (*Trumpet sound* "Here comes the King of the Assholes! He'll fall for anything!"), my desire to text her was replaced with my dislike for the way she treated me.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 14:00

Audax: Dec 1, 2005; "LOL U GOT OWNED"

Dear livejournal

# ? Apr 5, 2019 14:44

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

freeranger posted:

Getting ripped off! $23 a month for unlimited

Problem being it's on the Virgin network and they are shutting it down.

Rad-daddio posted:

I used to love Virgin mobile. Then, without warning, they stopped their roaming agreement with Sprint and my phone no longer worked at my house. Metro has true 35$/mo unlimited. I've used it way past their stated 20 gb upper limit streaming movies in HD and I've never seen them throttle it.

Where are you guys from? I'm in the US, Sprint straight up acquired Virgin Mobile here I'm pretty sure. Just curious, since I use it myself, and honestly really like it. I pay $35/month for the 5gig unlimited, and while my service gets spotty sometimes, I also live in and around two river valleys in a generally hilly/mountainous area, so most networks have dead spots. It also doesn't use data for streaming Pandora and a few others I think, and since that's 90% of my heavy usage when not on wi-fi, I never really get near my cap.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 15:26

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Araenna posted:

Where are you guys from? I'm in the US, Sprint straight up acquired Virgin Mobile here I'm pretty sure. Just curious, since I use it myself, and honestly really like it. I pay $35/month for the 5gig unlimited, and while my service gets spotty sometimes, I also live in and around two river valleys in a generally hilly/mountainous area, so most networks have dead spots. It also doesn't use data for streaming Pandora and a few others I think, and since that's 90% of my heavy usage when not on wi-fi, I never really get near my cap.

I'm in central California, so its rural enough to still have poo poo service no matter what carrier. IIRC, Virgin has always been on Sprint's network, they just changed their hosting/roaming agreement with Virgin and yeah it made my phone stop working at my house. Metro is better, but still gets spotty in some places. I don't care. I'll never have another post paid plan.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 15:36

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Rad-daddio posted:

Where does he live that mobile phone plans are expensive? I've seen Indian guys in dirt floor shantys with smart phones.

My bet'd be some part of Canada, they get shafted up there

# ? Apr 5, 2019 16:48

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

That's a pretty depressing story. The long weird breakup/dwell in loneliness one, not the masturbate when hung over one.

# ? Apr 6, 2019 03:02

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Audax posted:

Dear livejournal

# ? Apr 7, 2019 15:06

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I think my body is falling apart on me and I�m terrified to go to a doctor.

I sleep 2-3 hours a night, drink about a gallon of coffee a day (with lots of sugar and butter added), don�t eat right, don�t work out, and am under an incredible amount of stress.

I make about 70k at my job, which is great and lets me have a mortgage on a beautiful house, go on a vacation every year or so, and keep my bills paid. But I�m comstantly stressed and work roughly 6 am to 7 pm every day. Weekends I�m �off� but I like to keep up on email and usually have some reports I couldn�t get done during the week.

I cope with bad food (I generally eat a whole pepperoni pizza in one sitting, the greasier the better), coffee (with the admittedly disgusting fact that I add butter to get rid of the bitter taste), and that�s about it. I can�t sleep at night because of the mix of caffeine and stress.

I spent the night with a friend a few months ago and he told me I woke up screaming 3 times during the night. The scared me so I started taping my sleeping habits. I toss and turn a lot, wake up screaming about once a week, and sometimes throw punches and kicks in my sleep. The end result is I was up exhausted and sometimes in pain.

I don�t have a life outside of my job, not really. I�ve been meaning to paint my bedroom for 5 months but it�s still not done because I have no time. The only reason I�m sending this is because I have terrible diarrhea today and have been on the toilet for 45 minutes.

I got really scared last night because I woke up with a few specks of blood on my pillow. I couldn�t find any open sores so I wonder if I coughed it up.
I asked my boss today if I could take a day off for a doctors appointment and he agreed, as long as I had everything done. So I can probably go to the doctor in June or July but I�m not sure if I can last that long.

I�ve only been in this job 6 months but it scares me to think my body is reacting this violently. I throw up most mornings and get really bad diarrhea at night in addition to the sleep problems. One other thing that worries me is I don�t get horny anymore. I used to jerk off regularly but I haven�t in a good 6-8 weeks. Also obviously I can�t have a relationship until work calms down a bit.

I am really scared and just need someone to say I�m gonna be fine and this is normal job jitters.

dude, quit your loving job

I guess tech has spoiled me but I'm imagining holding a job that is doing this to me and asking my boss if I can have a day off to go to the doctor and he says "ok sure! ...in two or three months, until then no" and man you could not pay me enough

Like, it sounds like you need to work on yourself in general but it also sounds like this job is the main reason you both (a) can't and (b) need to in the first place

quote:

I�m an incel. I�m not one of the really hosed up ones, but I am one nonetheless. Invirgin, too, which means involuntary virgin. And yes, I�m in my 30s just to make it worse. How does this happen in the year 2019?

1) I�m a manlet. I�ve been cursed by a short father and mother. I�m 5 foot 8. Which is technically average but women today don�t want average, they want 6 foot tall Gods.

2) I�m a musclelet. I try working out a lot and never gain weight. I eat heavy protein diets and just get fat. I�m at the gym 3-4 days a week for hours at a time and never seen any gains. Again, genes have cursed me and women only want in shape Instagram model guys.

3) I am bad at small talk. I don�t give a gently caress about sports or the weather. I want to discuss politics (more on this shortly), science, etc. Debate me! But this scares off a lot of idiots.

4) I�m not some liberal hipster idiot. I actually have well-reasoned thoughts and ideas. I don�t just blindly follow whatever left wing idiot is spouting bullshit. I support the rule of law, the GOP, and the President. This triggers a lot of snowflakes and cuts off my dating pool. Which is fine, I wouldn�t want to marry a liberal anyway.

5) I hate pop culture. Similar to a previous point - let�s discuss classical music or great books. Not whatever bullshit is on Netflix or whatever musician is popular. That�s all crap. I miss the days when you could take a girl dancing, talk about art, and then go make love. Sadly, that�s all been replaced with eating overpriced food, sitting on your rear end and watching Netflix, then gross and unfulfilling sex.

6) I will only date a virgin or near virgin. Pretty simple request but you�d be SHOCKED how challenging it is. Most women have had miles of cock by age 18, let alone by age 21. At my age that number is terrifyingly high. Guys like me can�t compete - not after the variety of dick the average girl has seen. That�s like making a plain cheese pizza after eating at the pizza buffet, nobody wants it. Sadly even near virgins (1 partner before me) are rare.

7) Coupled a bit with 6 - women are getting into weird sex things. Most women have had sex with, or at least blown, at least one dog in their life. Thanks to pornography. Countless other women have unprotected sex with multiple partners, use huge dildos, or even have sex on drugs. I don�t want that and I can�t compeye with that.

Anyway this is anonymous because I realized quickly society just adds to the stigma. I once mentioned this on these forums in what I thought was a pretty inclusive sub forum and was laughed at. I keep living my life but each day I get closer to 40 without having had sex. I think that�s the point of no return and don�t know how to fix it. Before you add - I will not go to a sex worker. My honest opinion is they all need gunned down for building unhealthy sexual issues with people.

are you Dare

Anyway I'm around your height and not in shape and I'm married so stop blaming that stuff; points 3-6 can be summed up as "I am generally insufferable to talk to" and point 7 is gibberish so in short try to be less of a douche and maybe that'll help

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:16

jobson groeth: May 17, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

dude, quit your loving job

Literal shitposting

loquacius posted:

are you Dare

Anyway I'm around your height and not in shape and I'm married so stop blaming that stuff; points 3-6 can be summed up as "I am generally insufferable to talk to" and point 7 is gibberish so in short try to be less of a douche and maybe that'll help

The beautiful thing about incels thinking that they don't have the right genetic makeup to be attractive to women is that they have that dna because someone with those attributes hosed enough to have them in the gene pool.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:26

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Fat Greasy Butter Coffee goon: your diet is contributing way more to your stress than your job. If you quit eating garbage then you�ll be less stressed, or more capable of dealing with stress.

Incel: I pray to Space Jesus your fesh is bait, but the bottom line is you could move to the Deep South and find success, but the weird thing about Tinder down here is that roughly 90% of the hot blondes down here are Christian single moms. LoL that they are pure enough for Jesus Christ but not pure enough for you. Jesus�s best friend and mother of his children was a prostitute, you should get over yourself.

Also I hate to be giving this kind of advice but your weight gains sound like you might just have an endomorphic body type and as a result you�ll get into shape way faster with cardio and aerobics than with lifting. If you�re lifting and just getting fatter, then stop lifting and start running (a treadmill is not running)

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

You don't wake up screaming multiple times per night because you eat too much pizza

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:35

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

loquacius posted:

You don't wake up screaming multiple times per night because you eat too much pizza

Yeah but you do if all you drink is coffee. People have hyper normalized caffeine for years but that doesn�t mean it doesn�t contribute massively to people with predispositions of anxiety.

Caffeine and Alcohol are DRUGS, exactly like weed and opiates, and in many people can have even more severe side effects. We all grew up watching every adult in our lives drink 3 cups a day, no one registers that as a problem even though, uh, it kinda is.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:37

jobson groeth: May 17, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

You don't wake up screaming multiple times per night because you eat too much pizza

OP forgot to mention that the pizza is laced with shrooms.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:39

Arven: Sep 23, 2007

Bust Rodd posted:

Incel: I pray to Space Jesus your fesh is bait, but the bottom line is you could move to the Deep South and find success, but the weird thing about Tinder down here is that roughly 90% of the hot blondes down here are Christian single moms. LoL that they are pure enough for Jesus Christ but not pure enough for you. Jesus�s best friend and mother of his children was a prostitute, you should get over yourself.

Also I hate to be giving this kind of advice but your weight gains sound like you might just have an endomorphic body type and as a result you�ll get into shape way faster with cardio and aerobics than with lifting. If you�re lifting and just getting fatter, then stop lifting and start running (a treadmill is not running)

You don't even have to go to the south. Every rural area is full of homely 24 year old virgins saving it for marriage and Jesus who will jump at the first balding 30 year old man who approaches them with a wedding ring and a proposal.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:59

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

jobson groeth posted:

OP forgot to mention that the pizza is laced with shrooms.

Shrooms are a potent antidepressant, op would've gotten the courage to quit if they were on shrooms

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:00

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

quote:

Coupled a bit with 6 - women are getting into weird sex things. Most women have had sex with, or at least blown, at least one dog in their life. Thanks to pornography. Countless other women have unprotected sex with multiple partners, use huge dildos, or even have sex on drugs. I don�t want that and I can�t compeye with that.

You know, this is so true. I know my wife has had sex with a dog (not me), as have most of my female friends, my sister, and I�m pretty sure my mother too. In fact, I know more women who have had sex with dogs and other animals than haven�t.

(If that fesh isn�t made up I�ll eat my hat. If it is not then someone has very odd ideas about female sexuality).

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:11

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

I'm literally a pigdog,my wife fulfilled her quota

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:13

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

LoL I just realized �these women have hosed DOGS! I can�t compete with that!� is the the best incel own-goal ive ever read

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:14

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

You don't wake up screaming multiple times per night because you eat too much pizza

Sleep apnea

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:19

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

lmao at blaming your height for being a loser

I'm 5'7" and my wife is way too pretty for me, but I still believe in my heart she's the lucky one. Maybe that dude is just a right wing piece of poo poo.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:32

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

incel goon: try cutting your dick off. itll raise your self esteem and might make you grow a few inches but maybe not im not sure

either way it'll help you with the ladies

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:35

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

Makes you live 5 to 15 more years, too. Dunno why silicon valley life extension folks aren't into castration tbh

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 09:45

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

My girlfriend is so far out of my league strangers come up and ask if I�m bothering her lol, just maybe try being funny or exhuding raw sexual confidence?

# ? Apr 7, 2019 17:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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