SeaGoatSupreme posted:

A bearded, purple faced 220lb dude suddenly appearing within two feet of you is a shocker, apparently.

Freudian posted:

How many people does it take to start a fast food derail?

five guys

frankenfreak posted:

Chokes McGee posted:

out

silvergoose posted:

And, as it happens, in.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Cythereal posted:

flakeloaf posted:

To be fair, the instructions on those enema bottles are unnecessarily circumspect.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Why would anyone want to be knocked out for a colonoscopy? No, you go to the guy who will set up a screen where you can see it so you can watch the incredible journey inside of your own butthole.

please knock Mom! posted:

I believe the button is called 'show posts by this user', friend.

infernal machines posted:

Data: This is my brother Art. Due to a typo he was given a "postironic" brain.
Art: I am embracing the new sincerity.
Data: Shut the hell up

bob dobbs is dead posted:

You don't use it on combat, you use it to simulate

I told you the active shooter thing makes you loving piss your pants

VR simulation of dude shooting at you, desensitize without actually having someone shoot at you

Literature says about a std dev better than normal video games

infernal machines posted:

yeah, i'm pretty big in std development

Uptime Sinclair posted:

always great to see someone take on the family business. your mother must be so proud.

Stringent posted:

alright look dumbass, until the 19th century black slaves and white indentured servants in the US were legally indistinguishable. read some loving history, dipshit.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

value-brand cereal posted:

value-brand cereal posted:

Heath posted:

Lol that's not even kind of true

Ralph Hurley posted:

When I was very little I would sit on the floor against a wall in my room and look up at the ceiling. I discovered if I gently hit the back of my head and against the wall, the ceiling appeared to move an inch or so, probably due to my eyeballs jiggling inside my skull. I tried repeatedly banging the back of my head against the wall because I figured if I did it enough times, I could turn the room completely upside down. When that wasn’t working, I started hitting my head on the wall harder. Apparently I did this a lot and it distressed my mom to the point where she had to put up some padding on the wall in my room. I grew out of it. She still brings it up sometimes. I know, lol brain damage. Listen, the fact that I am an idiot does not necessarily correlate to habitually cracking myself in the head as a child. But it may explain my high tolerance for horrible techno music and heavy metal.

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

All the indentured servants in Sid Meier's Colonisation where white and therefore...

HJE-Cobra posted:

You could just view videos exclusively in incognito browsing mode. Or turn off cookies, never login, that kind of thing.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

Buddy I'm not looking for end-user solutions here I'm looking for people who do stupid rear end algorithms like this to admit that they're bad and wrong

*distressed internet citizen* Help help I'm being drowned he's got his hand on my head and he wont let me up

*complacent jerks like HJE-Cobra* Just stop breathing idiot

What the hell is wrong with you. RISE UP.

Hoodwinker posted:

A big-muscled man will slam dunk your head into a trash can YOU BIG NERD

How could you be so stupid as to maintain perfectly reasonable expectations for your future and the allocation of your vital resources instead of playing a pissing contest that angers God.

August men in dark suits are telling you how much better they are than you at losing your money investing your assets. How could you be so callous and ignorant as to not listen to them? Don't you care about your children's future? Won't you think of the children? Won't somebody please think of the children?

There are algorithms. They're a secret. Who knows what they are? Nobody knows what they are. But they work. They move the numbers around and they work. They turn cents into dollars, and that's good sense. Invest in the algorithms, John. Your name isn't John? It is now. John is an American name, as American as apple pie and illegal detainment. The algorithms told me your name, and it's John now.

I hope you enjoy your comfortable retirement spent with the family you've been able to build not stressing about trying to beat the market all the time. I'm over here, and I'm surrounding by several empty boxes of tissues, because I've been weeping for the future my children won't have because you won't let me touch your money and put it on and around my genitals.

Think about a smarter, brighter future, one where you've got a yacht attached to a sports car attached to an RV. Think about the smug look on your neighbor Linda's face as you load that bad boy into your driveway. Think about the pile of money you can now afford to burn every time you feel the slightest chill. Think about it, John.

Invest in American Industry Dollar Wealthgrowth Lifesmart Goldfunds. For future. For happy.

_{It's a bit. I'm fine.}

Outrail posted:

The taint makes a good point. We all really should stop breathing.

Matlack Radio posted:

William Henry Hairytaint made a thread decrying the modern youtube algorithm experience.

Quaint Quail Quilt posted:

Care to link that thread friendo?

Solumin posted:

Ghost Leviathan posted:

An, the ol' preach 'n' bleach.

Quaint Quail Quilt posted:

Care to link that thread friendo?

Motherfucker posted:

Have you tried having sex with her?

Cyrano4747 posted:

I’m pretty sure “yoshi getting his ovipositor eaten out by Wario but Wario looks like your mom” is just going to get you a thousand commission requests and maybe make you a patreon millionaire rather than annoy a creepy customer.

Pissed Ape Sexist posted:

All its farts escape from that one place and it grosses out beavers, who fell the tree out of fright and disgust

Solumin posted:

Somfin posted:

Porn speedruns with commentary

mmj posted:

"Now if I jump three times in the corner and start talking about final fantasy 7 a lot I can skip the sex sequence completely"

Tip posted:

Noblesse Obliged posted:

Well one thing about a trekkie tinder profile is you know they want kids

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

The Lion Kings plot makes me feel deeply uncomfortable. I know it’s Hamlet I don’t mean that, I mean the underlying plot that the lions are racially superior creatures and have a divine right to rule, subjugate, and kill.

BrownThunder posted:

Whys this mermaid bitch out here rhyming with her crab friend while Flint doesn't have clean water

kiimo posted:

With such low water levels in their bodies and such a dry diet of fruit and nuts flies and spice, basically the feces of a deep desert Freman comes out very slowly and deliberately like a brown glacier or the antlers of a caribou that eventually breaks off and gets collected by the stillsuit. Interestingly when a Fremen says may your knife chip and break he means it as an insult but when he’s talking about your brown knife that’s just the description of a healthy BM.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Did anyone point out that Nala and Simba are half-siblings?