Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Dunno, what flavor is it?

Choose wisely.

Bicyclops posted:

okay, not sure if I should keep posting here, i have hosed up dreams pretty much all the time so i'm going to have one of these lik eonce a week, lol. here's one more, it's kind of long, sorry:

a little backstory: First: after the Pete Buttigieg dream, i actually tried to fier up skyrim just to collect some plants, it was really bothering me. but my loving laptop all of a sudden won't run it. it's got enough weird stuttery lag that's unplayable. i tried turning the graphics settings down, uninstalling it, etc, but i just can't get it to run. i spent hours doing trying to make it work and hearing the opening "hey you, you;re finally awake!!" dozens times, so skyrim is on my mind.

Second: my wife and i went to see Les Miserables, the musical, on easter, and I've had the iconic show-stopper "One Day More" stuck in my head since. i've been walking around like george costanza in that Seinfeld episode where he keeps muttering "Master of the house" under his breath. i keep making up parody lyrics in my head for no reason and i can't seem to stop. it's just been playing on a loop in my brain for like four days straight.

so last night, I dreamed that I finally got Skyrim working and it had just been running slow because of a patch, but there were like eight pop ups i had to get through letting me know what had been patched in. apparently all of the patches just made it way easier to make mods, so i chuckled to myself and decided to make the Skyrimiserables Mod. i wrote parody lyrics for One Day More and assigned the victor hugo characters to various Skryim NPCs. i remember the cockney thieves guild guy was thenardier, ulfric stormcloak was enjolras, and the jarl of whiterun was javert. some of the religious references got changed to "God Howard." i sang all the parts myself into my headset, and the New Improved Mod maker made it easy to put the instruments in.

i was enjoying playing skyrim and watching push notifications come in from the side, all of them steam comments from delighted gamers enjoying my mod. I felt really satisfied, collecting every flower i ran past, and was just running around the beginning of the game having a great time.

then i started to feel tired and put my laptop down, and it turned out that years and years had passed, and i was in the hospital. i kind of understood that i was dying. my son was a grown adult and he was there with i guess his girlfriend or his wife, and he said he was going to stay with me the whole time. he closed my laptop and toldm e that he understood now that i was the mysterious author of the smash hit Skyrimiserables mod, and that's why he had lived such a comfortable life, with all the royalties i got from Bethesda. i don't know why i'd had to keep it a secret from him and everyone else, but i knew that i had, and i felt enormous relief that i could tell somebody at last, like weeping tears that somebody finally knew. i felt elation that i was going to die surrounded by family, my life mission fulfilled, unburderned of secrets, just like Jean Valjean himself.

my son opened my laptop and started playing skyrim on h is own file, and, with tears in my eyes, i opened my mouth and belted out one last perfect, beautiful rendition of my "one more day" parody and all the doctors and nurses were gathering around to hear, crying tears of joy, but then i kind of slipped out of the hospital bed and jolted myself awake.

Karate Bastard posted:

I'd rather scream about labia honestly.

Abugadu posted:

?

(and now you heard it in his singsong voice.)

Angular Cyrus posted:

Pakled posted:

I can't get over Cum Pass

Fister Roboto posted:

Try caulking your wagon.

Abugadu posted:

?

(and now you heard it in his singsong voice.)

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Dunno, what flavor is it?

Choose wisely.

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

That’s not a velociraptor, though.

Lobok posted:

Well they couldn't call him Utahpastor or the audience would think he's the wrong kind of predator.

Abugadu posted:

?

(and now you heard it in his singsong voice.)

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Can we agree to scream for ice cream?

mysterious frankie posted:

People have gotten really weird, period. Like, folks were yapping about how people were becoming too tribal a few years back and now we're down to tribes of zero because we're not even sure if we like ourselves enough to say we're on our own sides. I'd kill to have a narrow group I identified with these days.

After that guy got mad at the other guy for the spoiler about the movie about the super heroes, he probably confessed to a special app on his phone. Then deleted the app in shame. Then wrote some sort of blog about it.

On the internet, of all places.

Trig Discipline posted:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU ABLEIST PIECE OF poo poo

Lobok posted:

that labia doe

Trig Discipline posted:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU ABLEIST PIECE OF poo poo

Facebook Aunt posted:

Can we please stop using the dirty word l***a and instead refer to them by the proper term: flippity flaps.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

This is a great forum quote but not in a funny way.

burial posted:

I always thought the preferred nomenclature was “downstairs lady-meat[s].”

burial posted:

I said “preferred” not “most likely to cause nausea.”

90s Cringe Rock posted:

The labitoria were the walls at the opening of the vomitorium, yes, but it just meant the exit, it wasn't a place people went to throw up.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Labes, lady, labes

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Labes, lady, labes

Pastry of the Year posted: